 According to People magazine, she told the publication, I think every summer all the reports would come out that me and Will were getting a divorce. In this particular summer, Chris, he thought that we were getting a divorce. So he called me and basically he was like, I'd love to take you out. And I was like, what do you mean? He was like, well, aren't you and Will getting a divorce? I was like, no, Chris, those are just rumors. According to Jada, Chris was stunned he'd got it wrong. She said, he was appalled, and he profusely apologized, and that was that. Chris is not yet weighed in on Jada's account, and Access Hollywood has reached out to the comedian for comment. And in her book Worthy, the Red Table Taco host dropped a bombshell about their relationship, revealing that she and Will secretly separated in 2016 and have lived separate lives out of the public eye. In an interview with The Today Show's Hoda Copy, Jada explained why she waited to share what had happened. I think just not being ready yet, still trying to figure out between the two of us, how to be in partnership, how do we present that to people, and we hadn't figured that out. I made a promise that there will never be a reason for us to get a divorce. We will work through whatever, and I just haven't been able to break that promise. So in addition to the news coming out that Will and Jada have been separated for this many years, there's also news coming out that apparently Chris Rock tried to shoot his shot a couple years ago when one of those rumors came out. Now obviously, I don't give a shit about Jada Pinkett. I think the more interesting case study here is the men. The point I've been making for the last few case studies is we create the women we love to complain about. We incentivize them with our behavior, with our protection, with our defense, and this is a beautiful example of that. My biggest criticism of our community is how much stock and how much status and how much emphasis we place on celebrities, right? We take their words as gospel. We consider them thought leaders. We follow their lead. We are at the edge of our seats waiting for their style, waiting for their political affiliations, waiting for their insight. Because unfortunately, white supremacy has convinced us that the height of black achievement is black entertainment. White supremacy has convinced us that the best amongst us or the best we can aspire to be are court jesters, and that's exactly what celebrities are. You might not realize this, but a lot of celebrities, especially when it comes to actors and actresses, these were theater kids growing up. These were band geeks growing up, right? But in their adulthood, they found success in their craft and now have convinced us that they are the cool kids. Part of the reason why they're so entertaining is because they are playing characters. Their lives are productions, but unfortunately in our community, we think that they are thought leaders. We think they are aspirational, but the truth is very, very, very different. For instance, when Will slapped Chris Rock and said those famous words, keep my wife's name out your mouth, even though at the time, according to Jada, they were separated. First of all, it was probably deeper than that. Will must have caught wind that Chris tried to shoot a shot, and there was animosity there. And when Jada looked at him, all the dots connected, it was like, how dare this man not only try to holler at my wife that I'm separated from and trying to get back, but also sit here and try to make me look bad by looking like a coward, I guess. So then he walks up out of character and does what he does. But then he gave the speech about King Richard, the movie that he just did about Venus and Serena's dad, and try to use that to justify his actions, talking about how King Richard protected his daughters and how he's being called to protect them, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's theatrical. This stuff is a production. But again, unfortunately, these are the archetypes of men and women we have been socialized as a community to look up to. And for me, that's the biggest issue. And that takes me to Will. One of the things Will was, and I guess is famous for, is the fact that despite his success in music, his success in movies, he was always the clean, cut, family-friendly guy. When Will was a famous rapper, one of the things he was famous for was not cursing. He didn't use profanity in his music. And then during the Oscar situation, he says, keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth, which lets me know and should let everybody else know that he has been playing a character. And I believe that this Will, this cursing, angry Will, is far more authentic than the straight-laced, do-gooder Will that he's been pretending to be all these years. And honestly, I think that's part of the reason why, quote-unquote, nice guys are unsettling to women. Because very often, those men are disingenuous. Those men also are playing a character. Those men are not as familiar with the dark sides of themselves, which causes those dark sides to grow. Those are the guys who you see snap one day and do some unthinkable shit. Because for so many years, for so long, they've been playing a character. And that character was Mr. Nice Guy. And I think women see this a bit clearer than men. Some of us, especially those of us raised by single mothers, we were socialized to be idealistic. We were socialized to be her idea of a good man, not necessarily an effective idea of a good man, because you would need an actual man to put you on that type of game. And then we grew up with these ideals and we grew up with this chip on our shoulders to try to prove to the world that we're one of the good ones. But very often, the reality is very different. We're the ones who are feminists, male feminists, wearing the shirts, protect black women without ever discussing the nuances of what that means. We're the ones who can so very eloquently articulate the female struggle, but when it comes to the male struggle, we disassociate ourselves from the male delegation. It's those men, not us. Pro tip, if you want to see if somebody's full of shit, there are men talking about men and he says they instead of us, he's usually full of shit. If she's a woman talking about women and she says they instead of us, she's usually full of shit. Those people who try to disassociate themselves from their delegation as if they're the exception, when very often they're not. And their lack of the ability to even recognize some of the ways that they are consistent with their delegation for better or worse is what makes them particularly dangerous. On an episode of Red Table Talk, Jada brought up a situation that they had a few years ago where Will, for a year or about two years, planned the most extravagant birthday celebration for Jada. And she brought up how she didn't like it and she didn't appreciate it and she thought that he did it for himself. And at the time, I think my reflex as a man was like, oh, these bitches are fucking ungrateful. You can do nothing to please them. But the more I sat with it and the more I thought about it, I actually thought she made a good point. A lot of us are good and kind and thoughtful in performative ways. And typically this is true for women, right? Women trying to live out their relationship goals, hashtag fantasy, but it's very true for men as well. And when she was talking about it, she described how the extravagance of what he planned and all the things that went into it weren't in accordance with what would have been fulfilling to her. They were more so in accordance with what kind of would have been fulfilling to anybody and what would make him look like the guy. What would make him look like Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. Sweet Guy, Mr. Romantic Guy, Mr. Successful Guy. So I think very often when we trivialize or minimize this conversation to just shitty women, we're missing the big picture. I remember I saw this documentary series on Netflix called Explained. And this particular episode was about diamonds. Spoiler alert, diamonds are bullshit. They're not as rare and they're not as valuable as marketing has convinced us that they are. But one of the things that stuck out to me in that documentary, they did a survey in the 90s. They surveyed men and they surveyed women to deduct who valued diamonds more. Like if they could forego other things, would they still buy diamonds? And women weren't as willing to forego other things for diamonds, but men were actually more willing to. And that's because the marketing campaign and the marketing apparatus that was actually aimed at women actually affected men more because now men associated their ability to afford a diamond, aka their ability to get married, we correlated with our social status. We correlated it with our level in life. So it was less about the woman. It was less about the person that I'm tethering myself to for life. And it was more about I am now the man who was capable of doing that. And ironically, one of the things that the marketing apparatus came up with is this idea that a diamond ring must be two months salary. In some places, three months salary. And now men have also been socialized to believe that. So the diamond is really less about her impressing her friends. It's more about us being able to beat on our chest and say I am the man because I was able to put that smile on her face. And I was able to put that jealousy in her friends' hearts. And I was able to show my parents and her parents that I'm now capable of not just providing for myself, but also a woman as well. And I think very often we forget that this is one of the big reasons why some men as idealistic as they are put themselves in scenarios that they later on want to look for sympathy for. Like the last revised episode that I did about the guy who's currently in his residency, splitting the rent with his girlfriend 50-50, even though she makes twice as much as him. And in that same interview, she admits that once he becomes a doctor, she expects him to pay all the bills. Now, obviously, him staying with that woman is idiotic. And eventually he's going to regret it. But the reality is very often men get stuck in situations like that not because of the woman, but because he has something to prove. He wants to prove that he can handle her. He wants to prove that he can conquer her. He wants to prove that his masculinity is potent enough to not give up. And that's that Will Smith energy. Because when you hear Will talk about marriage, when you hear him talk about divorce, even in the interview when Jada brings it up, it's not about being successfully married. It's not about being effectively married. Just like they said on the red table talk, we ride together, we die together, bad marriage for life. It's about optics. And one of the debates I'm engaged in is this debate about marriage. Because very often, especially in this space, the solution is simple, right? It's to bring back marriage and promote the efficacy of marriage and also use a woman's ability to secure marriage as a shaming tactic. And brothers, I hate to report it, but it's not going to work. This generation does not idealize marriage like previous generations. And part of the reason is because for better or worse, this generation realizes or recognizes that being married doesn't mean being successfully married. A lot of us grew up in situations watching parents who should have been apart, but stayed married for the kids, stayed married to keep up appearances, stayed married because of culture. And we were the products of that dysfunction. So despite some of the positive aspects of a two-parent household, the idealistic view that we have of the institution, we have to be a bit more honest about it. Because when boys are looking at this Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith dynamic as marriage, it's a hard sell. We create the women that we complain about. Like I said before, a lot of these celebrities deep down are lame. And not only is Will Smith a lame, but if this rumor is true about Chris Rock, he's definitely a lame as well. I don't know if he idealized the potential of, you know, getting some Jada Pinkett vagina. I don't know if he idealized the potential of being the guy who can say, well, Will Smith couldn't tame her, but I did. But he wanted to throw his hat and his dick in the ring. Despite the overwhelming evidence of her consistent and persistent disrespect and her consistent and persistent apathy and dismissiveness. And this is with the man that she had two children by and has spent multiple decades with. But again, that simp energy, that matador energy makes you think you're gonna come in and your dick is gonna be the one to transform this woman. And even if it's just a situation where you just want some pussy, my brother is far better vagina you can pay for and not have to deal with the bullshit that's gonna come with it. But again, men from celebrities to regular dudes, part of the reason why none of this stuff that we talk about is getting through to women is because of our behavior. We infantilize women. We give women the benefit of the doubt constantly. We say that we want them to behave one way, but our actions, our attention, our money incentivize women who behave the complete opposite. And we expect women to respect us. In these situations, we would rather talk about how Jada Pinkett is the spawn of Satan. And as Corey Hulkin put it, Jada Pinkett is a cantankerous woman. These things are all true. However, we feed those cantankerous women. We validate those cantankerous women. And then we say shit like it ain't tricking if you got it to justify our trick behavior. Or we say shit like I'm a good man, I'm a man of God and all that bullshit to justify our behavior. And we wonder why things don't change. Every man who allows a evil, cankerous whore to be in their presence at age 45 and older, if you allow an evil, wicked bitch who fuck her son's friend to accompany you on your shoulder in public, you ain't gonna get nothing but drama. I've been seeing a lot lately this idea that women are goddesses and women are creators. And that's not true. To correct it once and for all, women are facilitators of life, not creators of life. And that is a very, very, very important distinction. Women are not God, women are earth. God seeded earth with life. Sperm seeds the womb with life. And then earth or the womb brings forth that life that God or man seeded in the earth or the woman. Biologically speaking, sperm cells are alive. Eggs are incubators, they're cocoons. And that's such an important distinction because a lot of the reverence, spiritual pseudo spiritual reverence that we have for women that causes us or incentivizes us to throw out logic and minimize ourselves to appease them is this misunderstanding of simple biology. Or, you know, for my religious brothers and sisters, simple theodicy, you give women life and they either multiply it or they minimize it and give it back to you. That's how it works. So the creation of life happens in you and then she helps you bring it forth, which is a very vital role. I'm not minimizing that role, but this idea that women create life, it's nonsense. Women are not goddesses, women are earth. Now, I know some cultures consider earth, you know, goddess like Gaia or whatever, but even in those cultures, there's always a heaven or a higher God above the earth and created the earth. If we want these things to change from Will Smith to Simp culture to minimizing Jada Pinkett Smith to minimizing these entitled women from young women to older women, it starts with us understanding our power. We impregnate them with these ideas. We impregnate them with this audacity and it's not until we start moving different, we start demanding more that things change. And just like I said, this whole Matador culture amongst men, these men who think that they are able to stop wild bulls because of their style and their pizzazz and how special their outfit is and the red cape that they have and because of that they seek out the biggest, most aggressive bull that they can find. Obviously, this is a metaphor for women. That needs to stop as well. You don't have anything to prove to yourself by conquering women. It's a waste of time. The only thing worth conquering is yourself. The only thing worth conquering is your mission in life. Pussy is not the greatest pleasure a man will experience. The greatest pleasure a man will experience is bringing forth an idea from his head to his hand. And when you start moving like that, you don't create or entertain nonsense. It's easier to spot non-marriageable women. And I know pop culture doesn't even make that distinction, but the reality is a lot of women are not marriage material if that's what you're looking for. They're not relationship material. They're not friend material. And that's not to say they're bad people, it's just to say they're not yours. And there's no amount of proving. Like that doesn't change when you put a ring on it contrary to popular opinion. That doesn't change when you start making more money. That doesn't change when you lose weight. That doesn't change when she loses weight. Check any of my case studies or any of my revised episodes. It doesn't change. The only thing you can control is what you tolerate. And what you tolerate will dictate the type of people, not just women, but people that gravitate towards you. I'll leave you guys with this. You can tell a lot by looking at pictures of couples. You can tell the power dynamic. You can tell if this is a woman who reveres the man that she's with. Or you could tell if this is a woman who's just settling for a guy, whereas she has another ideal of who she would actually rather be with. But unfortunately, this becomes so normal that we think that that's how it's supposed to be. We grew up with these cartoons, with these movies that show that the guy is just happy to be there. He lucked up and got a woman way out of his league. So he should be thankful. That's gonna have to change. Because if it doesn't, we'll continue to see more Jada Pinkett's, more Will Smith's, and more situations that make us black men look terrible, look terrible publicly. And I'm happy that the next generation of black boys and men, they're starting to see some of these inconsistencies. And I hope we are also starting to see how we play a part in some of this consistent and persistent disrespect and disregard for us, our interests, and our humanity. So we can spend time talking about Jada, or we can actually turn the mirror around and look at ourselves. Will brought this on himself. He deserves it. I feel, I don't feel bad for him. So if you're in a situation like Will, get out because that's where you're paralyzed. But if you stay and you endure the disrespect and the disregard, I won't feel bad for you. Like, share, subscribe. See y'all in the next one. Peace.