 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to figure out what I can add to that. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got the philosophy. Come on, man. I know you've got a book quote from there. What I would say, number one, I want to say, I think, because you alluded to something about, like, your body and your looks and things like that. I think part of the reason our community, in particular, of women are over-indexing on sex appeal is because they're out of touch with the essence piece. Since I don't know how to do exactly what Ja just said, I'm going to look the part. I'm not going to look like what I've been through that type of energy. But I think of a woman as, like, water. For multiple reasons. There's a sexual connotation out there. But also, like, water is nurturing. Water is life-giving. Life comes from water. Water is also powerful. It can crash. It can mold things. It shaped our planet. And water nurtures plants. And I think the metaphor for plants is a man's dream. Like, what type of man does he want to be? And the right woman will water that seed and potentially help it bear fruit or expedite the process of it bearing fruit. Now, the wrong type of water can nurture the wrong type of seed. Like, if you water an ancient nigga, you're just going to produce more doom, right? You see what I'm saying? So I think, and I said this last week, one of the things that breaks my heart is like, a lot of women are out of touch with what their power really is. And the power is really, like, girl power is really dictating what type of masculinity we see grow and proliferate, right? Not just what men are replicated, what men are cloned, literally, but also what type of manhood are we, the female delegation championing in our decisions, right? Are we championing men who sag their pants? We're going to see more men sag their pants because you're going to have those men's sons, right? And we're also going to inspire the non-sagging men to start sagging their pants because they're seeing that it's successful with women, right? But I think a lot of our sisters, unfortunately, are out of touch with that power and instead would just like to shout from the rooftop what they wish men were without actually aligning your actions with who you would like men to become. That's that stuff. I want to add to that. Absolutely. In my observation, without being too judgmental, I feel like women are the most beautiful thing on the planet. I feel like they have the most power and influence. So they have within their grasp the ability to change the world if they can see themselves in a certain likeness. But they choose the easy route. And the easy route is to use the filler. The filler is for me to duplicate what everyone else is doing and to still be attractive. And for men, we see past that. We see your duplication, right? There's no originality. So for men, we bypass. It's like scrolling on Instagram and every other post, you see another ass. So it becomes such a normality for men that we lose value and respect for women that deserve to respect. And those women are fighting and crawling for our attention. But for the most part, they don't realize that they have to be influential in each other's lives. Like when I said the first quote and it went viral about women need to hear that from women, they didn't listen to the whole conversation. Still have. Leave my boy alone. Watch the whole thing, y'all. I was leading to that because women have more impact. And I know you as an influencer, you know how challenging that can be, dealing with the female delegation from a woman's point of view. So for men, we've kind of given up on that space to try to be the teachers because they don't want to listen in a lot of cases. So for women, when they're stepping into that space, they're like, hey, they just are stubborn with us. They are. So how do we change that if the feminine energy is difficult to influence its own energy? There's a question that leave me baffled. We're going to try to sort it out, but you had something you wanted to add. Yeah, I was just going to add to pretty much what everybody was saying. So one thing that I feel like me as a woman don't jump on me, sister, so sorry. I got to split this out there. But one thing as a woman, I know that we have strong desires. We try to be alpha female all the time because we want to bring that energy to the table. But we forget about the desires that we crave, the desires that we need. Besides the desires that we want, what about the desires that we need? That we need to push us to go to that level to be able to get that alpha male, that male that we need or desire, for lack of better words. Because I'm independent. I pay my own bills and stuff, but I still want you to cuddle me and I want you to be the man and me be the woman. But I'm the woman and I can wear the pants too. That used to be me. I'm speaking from me, not nobody else, but that used to be me. And a lot of us women have to step out of that. We have to step out of that show. Because it's confusing and it's conflicting. It's confusing yourself. Just lying to yourself and for being honest, you're lying. And I think the core of it is like women haven't been taught to value men. So if I don't value something, I can't consider what that thing is looking for. So I value a job. So I'm going to read the job description. They're looking for somebody with these skills, with this education, with this experience. But when it comes to a man, you don't consider what he's looking for because I feel a sense of entitlement to a good man. And I always use the metaphor of, like, if you're a basketball player, did y'all play basketball? Okay, you played basketball. And what position did you play? Forward. You played forward. Let's say a five-star recruit was transferring to your school. Which position would you prefer that they played and they didn't play? Would you want another forward or would you want maybe a point guard? No, a point guard. So when we're hearing all these women talk about, oh, I make six figures, I'm educated, I'm well-known in the community, all this masculine stuff, it's like you play forward and you want another forward to want you. When just like you said, a forward is looking for a point guard. I'm going to get the rebounds. I need somebody who can shoot and pass the ball. But they're missing their balance. It's all about balance. And that's the other essence of a woman. She brings balance to a man's life. Because we're all about efficiency as men, right? That's why people joke, oh, he only got two things in the fridge or he only got a couch and a TV. We're all about efficiency. What a woman brings is balance. But if she's not leading with that essence, it's off-putting to us. Even if she looked good in the whole nine. If you've had good-looking women, if you've been around women, it ain't going to mean shit. But this other woman, she might not be as good-looking, but she has that essence. She walks into the room with that energy. She has a smile. She has a sunny disposition. She doesn't look like the world owes her nothing. I'm going that way ten times out of ten, unfortunately. And it sucks now, because even the idea of women smiling or men even encouraging women to smile is now viewed as an insult. It's now viewed as... I don't need to smile. And now, resting bitch face is praised. And I'm like, yo, are you guys looking at the big picture? A lot of dudes, and to your question, how do we fix this? A lot of dudes' answer to that is, we're going to leave. And we're going to have them sit with their nonsense and have them die alone like Kevin Samuels and people like that would say. And eventually, maybe the next generation of women will figure it out. And I'm shouting like, yo, the good dudes are leaving and the bad dudes, they just going to keep fucking y'all over, because there's no incentive for them to change. Yeah, because what they're doing is, when a woman makes herself financially attractive, she puts herself in the position of a man. So she attracts feminine women. I was a feminine man. Exactly. Yeah. So now he at home laying on the couch. You know? Because you're the breadwinner. No. He put that good deal on you. It's always gonna be a no. You know? And you stuck now. Right? So it's something that you see it's like a domino effect. Yeah. And unfortunately, women are going to have to stop it. That's the only answer I've ever been able to come up with. You know? Women are going to have to stop it in regards to that. Talk to me. Talk to me. And a girl, and they were like, oh no, that is insane. That's stupid. You're being stupid. And I'm like, no, think about what you're saying. It's got to be even-handed. So then when you speak the truth, sometimes you get called to pick me. You know what I'm telling you? No, I pick me. I don't need nobody to pick me, but I'm going to tell the truth. Because I don't want to be picked. Because I don't want to be picked. Because I set you free. Who don't want to be picked for the softball team? Yeah, period. You don't want to be picked last. Yeah. And some things we just need to understand is not trying to be picked. It's what makes sense. Right? If it goes against, because I mean, I think back to early on, we started doing these talks and I was listening on the defense. Listening, ready to, which- Oh, you didn't grew. I love you. I'm serious. I was sitting over here saying, yo, she was. Yeah, y'all were here. Yeah, y'all were here. Yeah. Like, I was listening on defense. I was listening on defense. Just ready to protect my women because I grew up with a single mom. You know, we got all these girl power stuff. Like, you're not going to tell me, this isn't this, without me telling you this isn't this. But we have to understand that sometimes we're not always right. I am. We don't know. We don't have all the answers to it. We can't know it all. But we have to- And we also- Well, we can't know it all. We also have the obligation to be the fixer of it. Yeah. And I can even add to that with you, the last time I came, believe it or not, I was listening on a defense at times. It happened. It happened. It's okay. I'm still walking the hill and I was like, and I'm sure you can look at some of the body language and see when certain things triggered me. And I was like, but that caused me to have to go home and sit because I'm in that journey and say, so why was you triggered that quick, you know, from something like that? What is that? What is the root of that? And so it all goes back to that. That's why I'm constantly being raised by a single mother. I'm a strong independent woman that had to mature and learn, okay, you're not always right. You don't know everything. But my question, can I ask a question? Yes. To the man as a woman that is successful, that is cute. I'm cute. Period. Y'all like it or not. But to somebody like Gary, because people don't like you to say that. Women don't like you to say that. You can't be cute, but I stand on that. Say what you want. But as a woman that walks in the room and when I'll come in the room, my energy is going to come in the room. That's just who I am. But I get a lot of men. I don't like the word intimidated, but the perception of who I am is already painted. They painted a picture to where they have a whole perception of me, especially on a date. Oh, you got all these Negroes. You got all these men. You're going to expect somebody to be a simp. I'm not being a simp. So they've already put up a line of defense and I'm just me. When in actuality, because I have all of that, I'm looking for substance. I don't need a man that can take care of me. I can take care of myself. I can take care of both of us. I don't need a man. I just need you to lead. I need you to be sure of you. I need you to have vision for our family. And that's just that. Whatever else, we're going to come together and meet in the middle. So why is it that women that are on that level that make? No, I don't want to use that. No, no, no. But why is the perception always that a woman that is successful, nice looking, well put together is going to be this mean girl? Before the man answer, I'm going to give you a little bit of why. I don't need a man to take care of me. I can take care of me. I can take care of both of us. As a matter of fact, that right there, that's it. That's they're going to eat you up. And that's what that's even because even though in your head, if you're not going into it with that perspective, you still have that perspective. And you still have that mindset of it. No, no, no, no. Y'all took that. I heard you. No, no, no. We're not. I'm not saying that you feel that way. But the way you voice it. That brand. That brand. That way you're voicing it to us. And that way you walk with. That's something that men pick up on. I don't know how. I don't. But they understand. They understand. They feel that vibe. And when you have that, even in your mind, I could take care of me and you. You already put me in a disadvantage to where. Well, maybe I can't take care of you because you talk. You're putting me in that space. But that. So that's just that little bit. The snippet right there is a little bit of why men may see you in a different light. But that's never been voice. That's what. But it don't have to be for them to understand it. Because the meaning behind that is that I don't want you for your money. Because the majority of them think I want them for their money. I want something from them. You know what I'm saying? Like I'm going to come in and I'm going to see what you got and how much money you make what you drive. And that's never been me. You coming from a place where you can give. Right. So I come in trying to give to let you know I'm not trying to take. I don't want to take nothing from me. We come together and we go up because if I have and you have, we go up. But if I got to pull you up or you got to pull me up, then it's going to take us a little longer. So if we both come in with the mindset that we're going to grow and to elevate, then it's a little bit different. But yeah, I get just how I just voiced that, what you say. But no, I meant on a sense of they automatically think, oh, you got to have somebody to drive a Benz. You want somebody that works as a CEO. You want somebody that makes this much money, that I automatically get perceived. And I'm like, I didn't even say nothing. I just walked in the room and said, how you doing? So the perception is what always gets me. And it's aggravated. What's your spin on that? What's your answer to that? I see you got something to even eat me up. No, no, no. I'm going to give it to you. No, but seriously. Yeah. I wanted to ask men that were intellectual enough to have that conversation tonight. Well, I think what you have to consider. So I've been talking about like passport bros. Sure. Right. And in my opinion, I think women who are serious about, I want relationship. I want relationship from a certain caliber of man. You have to let go of this idea that all these niggas are just looking for a woman that they can run over or they're looking for a woman who they can control and things like that. And just consider what attributes do the women in these communities that they're going to have that for whatever reason we lack, right? So Thailand is a big place men are going to. Colombia is a big place that men are going to. Brazil, things like that. And what's ironic about places like Colombia is like, it has amongst the highest single mother rates in the world. Wow. Right. So the idea that we're going to find non-single mothers is not the reason why men are going over there. But for whatever reason, they're willing to compromise the fact that she has kids to still settle down with her. And when I've talked to these guys, one of my boys lives in Colombia and Brazil. Number one, I think it's good faith. Women are entering that relationship with good faith or that interaction with good faith. It's the mindset of, I think you're a good man and I can't wait to learn more about how good you are. In America, the mindset tends to be, show me if you're a good man. Prove yourself. Prove yourself, right? And I call that entering a relationship or an interaction in bad faith because it's assuming that you're not good. And I have a bit of grace for women because the truth is a lot of dudes incarcerated, a lot of dudes, mental health, things like that. So most of the men that you're going to come in contact with, especially if you're in certain environments, live up to your jaded expectations. That is confirmation bias and it fuels how you see men. But again, you have to be thinking from the lens of what kind of man do I want? And is he going to receive what I've been in practice giving other men? And not even on a relationship end, but just like my disposition. If he's in this room and I walk in here with this RBF that I'm used to, how would that potentially play out for it? Or if he's in this room and I'm over here dressed like a slut, he might not see me. So I think, not just like the interaction y'all just had, but if women put themselves in the mindset of not just what do men want or what kind of woman would I want for my son? Because that changes the mindset. What kind of woman would I want for my son and how much in proximity am I to that woman? And you have to be honest with it. It's not about your ego, it's about like, okay, yeah, I have a kid or I have some kids. That's a demerit. What do I have that men value that makes up for that deficit? Because women of other countries, other communities, they know this and they're taking a lot of these men and we have to take it seriously. But a lot of times we just rather shame those men as opposed to take a look at ourselves and consider what they're doing that we failed to do. I don't, I don't, I feel like also women don't choose men based on their leadership skills. That's very important. Like when a woman sees a man, she'll probably see him based on his sexual appeal and how he looks. Clout. Clout, you know. So his leadership skills, women don't choose men based on leadership skills. And there's a lot of great leaders. It's just that if they look towards his leadership skills, you know, how well can he delegate a family? You know, how well can he delegate finances? Right? How well can he run a home? You know, how good is he around the home? All these little intricate things that contributes value to a man. Most women don't have the eye to look at that. They look at his physicality first. So for me, if women can change their approach into looking at men from a leadership standpoint, they'll get away from how well he dresses, how good he looks. That's important. Don't get me wrong. But you want to look at his leadership skills. You know, how is he leading himself? That's first and foremost. And like I've been saying, I think at the core of mate selection is procreation. So whether or not you even want kids, I think you should have some kind of reverence for what that means. Because at the end of the day, from a woman's perspective, if you're with a man, you're essentially saying whether subconsciously or consciously that the world needs more of him. And I want to help make that happen, right? And I want to help grow what he has going on so the world can see a bigger version of him. And unfortunately, our community in particular, the men that are being chosen for that honor are just men who look the part. His beard connect. He's six foot five. He dark-skinned. Now that that's in style. He light-skinned when that was in style. He got good hair. You see what I'm saying? And it's these shallow benchmarks that now men are being asked to hit. And if you tell us this is the bar, we're going to hit that bar. And if we can't hit that bar, we're going to head somewhere that we can. But like, and this is the part about this whole passport bro thing that particularly breaks my heart. In order to even be a passport bro, you have to have a certain kind of job. You have to have certain kind of income. You have to have a certain skill set that is marketable regardless of where you are in the world. Those are the men that are leaving. The ones that women are complaining about they're going to be right here with y'all. You see what I'm saying? So like, this is this is dire. Especially for women who are still looking for companionship. We're still looking for if you don't want that. That's cool. But if you're looking for that, you need to pay attention. Why are these men going to Peru and Brazil and Colombia? And what is it that those women are doing that we're not? But often just like those shallow benchmarks we're asked to hit, a lot of women only hit shallow ways of thinking about that. Oh, it's because those bitches have good hair. Or it's because it's because she don't speak no English or exotic. Nobody's more exotic than y'all. That's a fact. Exactly. Nobody's more sexy than you. Exactly. Nobody's more sexy than you. Like, it's like I'm telling somebody often how it feels. I'm like, okay, your upper body's good. You need to start working on your legs. And I see you in the gym doing friggin' bench press. I'm like, you really don't want it. You still just working on the thing you know you're good at. As opposed to the pain of like being terrible at this thing, whether it's being warm or friendly or whatever the case may be and slowly working your way into that becoming a lifestyle. And eventually you will attract not just a man but the type of friends for sure that are going to change your disposition. That's one thing I've been working on in my healing, the singleness healing, because I've never been... K.A.F. But I've never been like this single to where I've been able to take a look at myself and see what parts of me is missing that I know that this man could bring to the table for me. I've never even thought about that part. I've always looked at the external. He looked good. Oh, yeah, he pack in whatever, whatever. But I've never looked into the fact of what can he add to what I already have? How can he help me grow as a person? Will I be able to help him grow as a person? Can we bring that balance to the table? That's one thing that I've been learning to pick up on within my healing journey and my single journey, my singleness, because right now I'm free and I love it. I love it here. Let me learn more about myself, because that's where I'm at. And I think for me to put it in a black perspective, I think what's the most heartbreaking about this situation is when you look at the history of colonialism, you look at the history of slavery, the whole concept was how can we make black men in particular as unnecessary as possible? So during slavery, like we talked about last time, protect and provide. Men couldn't do any of those things. So ideally, or not ideally, but essentially men didn't exist for 400 years. Black men did not exist for 400 years. Now, because of that, we are hypersensitive to feeling obsolete. And our women have also been socialized to reinforce the idea that we're obsolete. Nothing feels better as a man than feeling needed. Oh, for sure. And when we hear women, whether in a soft way or a more harsh way, I don't need you for dot, dot, dot, dot, or I can do dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, which is unfortunately the prevailing narrative amongst our women. And you know, it's not y'all's fault. Like y'all without fathers, without having men to rely on, yes, the mindset is I can do it by myself. But unfortunately, the men that you want, they need to be needed. They need to thrive. And what I've seen be the most successful is the mindset of, like I said before, he's a good man. I've done my due diligence. So I'm not just making this shit up and projecting an idea of who I want him to be. He is a good man, right? How can I help put him in environments or put him in situations to flex that muscle? My man's strong. Here's a jar of pickle. Show me. You see what I'm saying? But unfortunately, what tends to happen is that energy is being put towards sons. A man that is, he's your age or older, but he's essentially your son. You're raising him. Because unfortunately, with a man who is a man and he doesn't need you, for real, there is that fear of being obsolete. And since you're in your masculine energy for the most part, you've adopted some of men's fears of feeling unnecessary. And that's why I think you see some women with these adult toddlers. That's what I call these men, adult toddlers. That's a fact. That is a major fact. That is a fact.