 why the narcissist treats you worse than everyone else so you look around you see the narcissist maybe with their family their friends the co-workers whoever it may be and you just you think to yourself can't we be like that why can't they be that way with me and it just makes you wonder why because you just can't understand it they act a fool with you and yet you see them with everyone else and they're okay and very friendly kind and agreeable but then when they get back with you maybe you get back in the car or when you get home it's like they're a completely different person and you just don't understand why you just can't make sense of it because why do they have to be like that with you when they could be fine with everyone else they get along fine with other people just not with you and I'm here to give you the answers today I could tell you that the reason why they treat you worse than everyone else is because you are the closest person to them they're always around you more than anyone else and they can only keep up their act for a certain amount of time but with other people they're not around them as much they only see them for a short time so they can give them the false self the fake version those other people never get to see what they really like they don't see what they do into you behind closed doors and even if you try to bring that to their attention they won't believe it because all they see is the false self of the narcissist that's all that they get to witness so you get the real version of them everyone else gets the fake version because if that was not the real version then a normal person they wouldn't be able to do that they wouldn't be able to treat a person in that way there would be a cutoff point for the abuse where they would begin to self-reflect where they would begin to realize that what they're doing is wrong but as we know narcissists do not have that they are self-absorbed and they lack empathy so there's no cutoff point for the abuse they can abuse you every day and they feel like what they're doing is okay they feel like it's justified but deep down they do know that it's wrong and that is why they keep code of silence that's why they have these two sides of them the dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde they have what they show to you which is the real version of them and then is what they show to everyone else which is the false self but sometimes you get to witness that as well in public when you're around other people and I get it I understand I know that it hurts I know what it feels like when you have to see them interact with other people and they're so kind and friendly they're cooperative and you just wish that they could be like that with you because that's what you're about you're about something productive you want to move things forward you want to establish something in the future but as we know that all starts by building something in the present and you want to do that with the narcissist but you feel like you can't and you observe the way they interact with other people and it just makes you wonder why but that's just that that's the disorder what you get from them is a disorder that's how they function their way of functioning is by dysfunction in incompetency a lack of progression and productivity they cannot succeed in anything for a long period of time and that is why you will never win with a narcissist you can take some time to yourself and you can win on your own or with someone else but you cannot win with a narcissist over a long period of time you may get the appearance the illusion of success in the beginning but it will always fall apart in the end and that is how it looks like they have especially you're dealing with a real narcissist it looks like they have a lot of success sometimes in their career because they have a lot of enablers they have a lot of people who are willing to take the fall for them and they also step on people's heads to get ahead but not only that in their relationships whether it's their family their friends their co-workers whoever it is it looks like they have a lot of success there but they don't tend to deal with those people every day well even if they do they can hold in that anger frustration bitterness or resentments until they come around you and then they take it out on you and that is why in fact sometimes the most successful relationships can be when two narcissists are together those relationships can appear to be very successful because instead of them abusing each other they find a target outside of the relationship usually multiple targets and they take it out on them they abuse the people around them and it tends to be that a lot of people despise them but then they keep the peace between each other and that is how their relationship manages to thrive but it's really just an illusion anyway because there is no real connection they bond over other people's destruction and nothing can grow from that nothing real anyway but yeah I understand a lot of you when you see that of course it may upset you it may make you feel insecure it may even make you jealous I can tell you that there is nothing for you to be jealous of because everything they're doing the solution of them cooperating and trying to build with someone else that's all it is it's an illusion it's an orchestration and you need to remind yourself you need to trust your own intuition because you know what they're really like based upon how they have treated you you can't just treat someone like that and then move on and build things with someone else it does not work that way it just doesn't and they try to do that and they can create the illusion because they're not really investing that much of themselves it's only for a short time which is why you will find that a lot of the people they're dealing with it's really just acquaintances there's no real deeper meaningful relationship there tends to be based on superficial things and those people don't really know the narcissist not like you do they haven't seen what you've seen but then you have to consider that some of them may be narcissists as well and that's when the narcissist may remove the mask even around them because they know that those people may be tolerant of them abusing you and they may even bond over that the narcissist knows when to let their hair down they know they know when they're going to get away with things they know when other people are just like them but I'd say that's why they treat you worse than anyone else because you are the closest person to them you're always around them you know what they're about you've already seen underneath the mask you've caught on to them figure them out so what is the point in them giving you the illusion when they know that you're not even going to believe it what is the point in them trying to manipulate someone investing all of their time effort and energy when they know you're not even going to be susceptible to it they will only make the effort if they know that you are going to fall for it or at least if they have the inclination that you might otherwise they're not going to bother they're not going to waste their time they'll save that for someone else someone who will believe it and that is why they treat you worse than anyone else now let's come out the shadows and enjoy this beach for a moment took me about seven hours of driving to get here never been to this part of the country I've really enjoyed it so far as you can see here in this direction we've got Thailand straight ahead we have Vietnam Cambodia Philippines Laos and then Bali Indonesia this way it's a nice beach very calm and peaceful you hear the birds singing in the background seen a few lizards any questions let me know in the live chat down below I will respond to it I will answer it the best that I can see if I can sit on the swing slowly carry my weight I don't want to ruin the experience with someone else something I really like about swings don't know what it is it just brings me to a state of calm it's just the swing in motion just resets my energy it's nice let me know if you have any questions down below I will answer them now just gonna take this moment to relax on this swing and I hope you enjoy it too it's very peaceful let's come back to the shade it's quite difficult to see the screen out here all of the sun okay let's see the questions here John Tracy says jealous of a illusion yes that is really it's you know if you're dealing with a narcissist toxic person whatever it may be you will only ever be jealous of an illusion because that's the whole point that's where they create the orchestration because it's not even real it's sole purpose it's only intended to manipulate you to get a reaction out of you it has no other purpose other than that and that is their motivation their incentive because they're actually deeply dissatisfied with it they just use tool to get response from you because when you're really satisfied with something when you're really having a good time you don't need to broadcast it you don't need to show everyone you can just enjoy it on your own you don't need other people to live by curiously through it the only reason why narcissists have to broadcast it and put it on put on a show is because that's the only way that they can find fulfillment from it they can't get it directly it doesn't do anything for them if they can make other people envy and want it then it tells them they have something to value but they can't see the value in it on their own it doesn't do anything for them so yeah you're right that's all it really is your jealous of an illusion if you are jealous but you shouldn't be because there is nothing actually there the only thing that really exists that is in your imagination which means that it doesn't even exist at all it's something you're generating from your own mind it has no basis in reality and many of you you're doing the work on your own Chetan asks why my ex tried to close with my ex after rejecting I criticize her bad behavior sorry I don't really understand what you're asking there please try to rephrase it for me hanging with the girls asks which country did you like best Bali or Thailand you know I haven't actually been to Bali yet I was going to go a few years ago but then I couldn't go because of the COVID but I have been all over Thailand and I can say that it was an amazing experience features food obviously the girls as well just all around memorable experience I really enjoyed but I haven't been to Bali yet hopefully I will go in the future sometime I would like to see it Tallulah asks what is your reasonable amount of time to heal from Enoch after after you discard them well that really depends on what happens following the discard because if you discard them they're not just gonna let you go so easily they're going to hold on to you for dear life especially if you were the grade a primary source of supply they're not just gonna let you go they're gonna make your life hell so until all of that is over you're not really going to fully heal I mean you might get to a certain level but you're not going to be completely at peace completely at rest but once you have completely detached and they've left you alone I would say that it might take between six months to one year until you really start to feel like you have healed but that's just based on my opinion that's not factual information they may be different for different people depends on your own individual circumstances and also it depends on how damaging and destructive the narcissist was that you were dealing with that plays a big part in it I mean if you were just dealing with a low level narcissist compared with a malignant narcissist or psychopath of course there's gonna be a difference in the damage that you experience and endured so it's important to keep that in consideration as well hanging with the girls if you have been no contact for three years by that time generally I would say that you should have healed by now I would say that I mean of course it does depend on your individual situation and the narcissist that you were dealing with but three years that is quite some time so I would advise for you to seek support from a therapist or coach someone that you can talk to most importantly someone who understands someone who has experienced this themselves and they've been through it and they've reached a certain level of healing I am also available for one-on-one coaching and you can book that from my website which is naksa-fiver.co.uk Tiffany asks where are you I'm in San Diego California and it's dark here that's cool I've never been to California or anywhere in the US but I would love to go one day let's just say that I am in paradise somewhere I can't tell you where exactly but in time you will find out on my Instagram Talula yeah it's been three years and I'm finally rebuilding financially but not emotionally yeah I mean that's definitely a part of it I mean financial abuse is a big thing especially with narcissists even though they may not actually need your money it's more about power and control because they're very insecure and they have low self-esteem so they will try to control you financially and they will try to damage you in that way as well because they just want to feel like they exist they want to feel like they matter to someone and they know they can't do that the right way with you so they have to do it by trying to damage you to leave an imprint on your mind negative impact but once you start to rebuild your finances that will help you know especially if money is important to you and to what you're trying to build in your life then of course it is very important for you to do that we've got a few people here in California I haven't really got any experience there I do have some contacts from California as you may know one of my clients is a West Hollywood director and he's directed some shows for National Geographic it's a great guy he also had a bad experience with a divorce with a narc we all go through it you know from different parts of the world different walks of life it's always pretty much the same experience I mean I saw the numbers the statistics just for the US alone there's meant to be over 140 million victims of narcissistic abuse and consider that there are also many other disorders out there you know this is on a mass scale this is not an isolated incident for you and I'm sure you can see that just by looking at the numbers of my channel I've got with 40 million views 165,000 subscribers and I am far from the biggest channel talking about this I think it's Dr. Ramani she has over 1 million subscribers so just let that sink in and know that you are not alone that is an important thing for you to remember and I don't want that to invalidate your experience in any way or the significance of it of course it was bad what was done to you did not deserve that but turn it into something positive and use it to make you stronger don't let it break you down because that that is exactly what they want want to see you broken down to where you can't move on where you can't progress or achieve anything in your life this is your life and you came here for a reason you came here with a purpose to be great so you keep on doing that don't stop anyway head to the car not only the car but most gonna head back to the cats who is in the car she has been waiting for me while I've been filming this video here been having such great time actually forgot about it for a moment BMW you know how I do you know when I like great car they they give me a really good one this time this is the new design with the rear spoiler blacked out windows bbs alloys of course Michelin tires that standard and blue brake calipers which I was surprised to see but I appreciate that as well yeah I'm just out here living my best life and that's not to say that my life is perfect it's not I've been through so many things in my time so many ups and downs and I wouldn't change any of it I regret nothing and I am thankful for all of my experiences because they made me the man that I am today what you see right now all of my experiences both good and bad it made me who I am as I can honestly say that I am extremely proud of the man that I have become and there were times of my life where I never thought that I would be able to say that even to myself let alone to thousands of people who are watching a video on YouTube and I know that in time if you're not there yet you will get to this point you will you just have to try to see the good in every situation because it's always there doesn't matter what it is doesn't matter how bad it is there's always something positive that is always an option for you everyone you always come to a fork in the road with any experience especially the negative it all depends on what you take from it as I've said before and as I will always say there could be two people going for the exact same situation they just choose to deal with it differently and then they get a different result one person could get a negative result the other person get something positive it all depends on their mindset is it the defeatist mindset always it's something more positive and productive and I'm sure there's many people who well I know there are many people who have been in similar situations as mine and they had a different mindset maybe a mindset that I had in the past defeatist pessimistic and I can be sure that thousands of people around the world who went from similar things that I did they killed themselves they took their own lives maybe they killed someone else who knows what they did but it wasn't good and I took a different road I took a different path and that is why you can see that I'm out here living my best life I'm happy I'm smiling my skin is glowing I'm driving a BMW with my cat and I'm just doing what I want to do most importantly and I should repeat that I'm just doing what I want to do because a lot of people in this world they're not doing what they want to do they're doing what they've been told and that is the most important thing to follow your own purpose to follow what's inside your heart because when you do that you will never go wrong you will never go wrong because that is what you're supposed to do and when you do that it will feel right and then you will develop that confidence in yourself I can barely read anything in the live chat right now because the Sun is so strong but I'm just out here and I'm giving it to you I'm giving it to you hard right now and I know that you're enjoying it and you're taking it in and it's resonating with you as it should be and yeah I'm just so happy to share this message today that's why I've been on you now over 30 minutes and I hope it inspires you I hope it motivates you to become the best version of yourself and not let anyone tear you down because that is what this is about I don't want to see anyone being teared down by no one I want to build you up and I want everything to become better for you because that is ultimately why we find these videos because something is wrong there is a problem things aren't going right and of course I know that I've been there myself many times but yeah that's it I'm gonna head back in the car continue on the rest of my journey with Nala if you found this video helpful as always please give it a thumbs up down below helps to support our community share the video subscribe and if you'd like to book a one-on-one with me you can do that from my website it is naksa-viva.co.uk and also check out my Instagram I'm gonna get back in now put this on as always report I appreciate you all I look forward to talking with you again very soon