 birthday party when you lifted your skirt up in front of a... What are you doing, huh? You always gotta be controlling everything all the time. This is not about him. This is about me. Okay? That's over. Okay? Oh, that is bullshit. Admit it. You wish I wasn't here. With that expression in my... Whenever I was exposed to such scenes of anger and disrespect in western movies, I'd have this deep feeling of discomfort to my core. Quickly pulling me out of the watching experience and leading me to a serious thought of how can this child speak to their parent in this way? And then I'd imagine if I were to act in the same way. You know, that would never happen in my family. Nor in any other Arab family for that matter. Why? Because it just wouldn't. Family is such a basic and fundamental element to our existence. Yet we think about it consciously only when something breaks down within it. For Arabs, this is not an option. Family is all around. Physically, mentally and emotionally, omnipresent, it is the most important realization of belonging we'll ever have throughout our lifetime. As well as that of our children. And then theirs. And so on. But let me be a bit more clear when I say the feeling of belonging to a family. I mean belonging. I belong to this family. I make up a small part of its essential value. Be it from a tribal, social, and religious angle. And it's along these three factors that family is ingrained as a sacred element towards Arab existence. So let me clarify what I mean by family. It's not the nuclear family. Nor the nuclear family inclusive of their nuclear families, but well, well beyond that. It is a multi-layered generational group of people who are your kin, including grandparents and great-uncles, first, second, third cousins, twice, thrice removed. These are the extent of the family I'm referring to. So now imagine how many people that would entail for you. And if you're not Arab, then multiply that total by two to three times at the very least. This number is what I might consider an appropriate size for an Arab family unit. Keep this sizing in mind throughout this video when I refer to an Arab family as you can accurately appreciate the context and position I'm speaking from. Up to the age of 16 and as with all cultures around the world, family takes a primary and powerful role in formulating our moral and value systems. But where Arab families differ is how from a very early age the importance of family is ingrained from both a religious and a tribal perspective. Upon the initiation of their spiritual journey, Arab children are exposed to Muslim teachings where diverse relationships with family are not only a question of respect, tolerance, and kindness, but are more about right and wrong, and even more so about good versus sinful deeds. Statements such as one of the worst sins is being undutiful to one's parents. Being dutiful to parents includes being obedient, kind, and respectful. Or never say anything to your elders in irritation. Rather, always address them respectfully. And finally, don't ever sever your relationship with a member of your family, even if they sever their relationship with you. These are the few of the tenets that Muslim children are taught. You can imagine how such a mode of conditioning impacts a child's psyche, consequently driving their appreciation for family while also regulating their future actions and reactions for years to come. On site, this sounds quite harsh, but when looking at how it creates a structured hierarchy within family, such behavioral conditioning goes a long way in establishing a set of rules towards that sense of belonging. The second factor that contributes to the molding of family's sanctity is tribalism. To understand more about tribalism and its importance to Arabs, you can check out my video in the link above. Tribalism since birth is entrenched in the Arab family life. Now remember, the total figure of your Arab family size when I explain this next point. On a cyclical basis, Arab families gather, meaning a coming together at either a patriarch or matriarch's home from the family elders all the way down to the most recently born. This means that at the very least, once a week, you're exposed to your extended family, male and female. You see each other, you hear each other and become bonded with a sense of belonging to this group. Those who are of the same age befriend each other and establish powerful relationships that are often long-lasting friendships throughout life. When Arabs hit their mid-teens and move into adulthood and as one's individuality matures, their sense of making the necessary sacrifices towards the belonging to the family is challenged. But in Arab society, during this phase of life, Arabs are still vitally dependent on family for a great many things. At times, family operates as a hub of basic services, functioning as an employment agency, insurance company, childcare facility, coaching center and even a welfare system. But the Arab family is also a continuous refuge. To return to at any point in time, both when things are going wonderfully well and when times are difficult. And they will provide, provide you with the necessary support system, be it mental, emotional, physical and at times even financial. To lift you up when you struggle, no Arab that has ever had a rough time could attest to the fact that once amongst family, has their energy and mental state not drastically been uplifted. Arab culture, respect and esteem increase with age. And as elderly, they're appreciated immensely for their life experiences, wisdom and a hierarchic position in the family unit. There's a sense of duty and commitment by the younger generations to make sure that the elders enjoy companionship, relevance and full comfort during these years. By constantly being around their kin, elders attain resolution on their purpose of life and an ever present connectedness towards their family is felt. Emotions guarantee an elder's positive reflection on a life lived, thereby blocking any materialization of destructive regrets. Devotion is to the elderly at this stage in life. It's payback time when the sacrifices of one older generation must now be echoed by the sacrifices of the new. This is why in Arab culture, the concept of an old people's home is unimaginable. The degrees of family in the Arab world are indicated by the terms nuclear family, extended family, house, kin, sub-tribe or lineage, or ashira, which means tribe. And to represent to you my personal reality towards this structure, my parents' usra is 19 people strong. My parents' extended family is over 400 people. Our bait, another 500 people. And our hamoolah, another 1000. And my ashira is at 5000 people strong. Whatever the form for Arabs, it is the family, not society and not even the state at times which provides the primary sense of identity and belonging from first rights and commands obligations. If you know, you know and if you don't, then join the chronicles where we present content about Middle Eastern history, culture and heritage. For Arabs, family is the alpha and omega of society. The beginning and the end. The family rather than the individual is the core of the society and where all fundamental things critical for life are given and taken. It is the coherent and stable unit situated in a network of common interests whose permanence and security must be assured above everything else even if necessary the detriment of individual aspirations and interests. So eventually, it all comes down to one element and that's sacrifice. Sacrificing your individuality and time for the benefit of something larger than you. The question becomes what is worth more in the grander scheme of things? Individuality or family? Humans are social animals and not only are we interdependent on each other emotionally, it is at the extremes of our lives that we are dependent on each other mentally and physically as well. We have a clear need for family. I'm not advocating for a total self-sacrifice of individuality towards family by any means but there has to be a balance where we find the right level of sacrifice between the I and the we and that's a personal journey each of us has to take on our own. Individuality can be a great thing being alone in life is not. The more the family the merrier. Trust me.