 become very unkind towards myself when I have to choose again to forgive someone when I don't forgive them the first time or do what I think is Christ's like the first time or when I feel like I'm having romantic feelings and entanglement with someone and I'm like oh that's a special relationship. So I kind of traced it back to shame and really to the belief in separation and everything kind of separating the pairs of opposites and then I thought maybe this is a symbol of the two basic fallacies that the separation ever occurred and that it's my fault. But what is a good practical implication when I'm having trouble remembering it's not my fault and never even have an eye question? Yes, I think the most helpful thing for me was starting to see that you will never put this into practice in the specifics of form, that the ego made up all the specifics is like a giant kaleidoscope. That we would think we keep tweaking and arranging the colors and the pieces because just giving enough time, 100 million years, 200 million years, maybe 300 million years, we're not going to solve it in the form. So when people read those nine chapters on special relationship and holy relationship it's written at the personal level, the healed relationship section where you invite the Holy Spirit in and it has to come in that way because the mind is so addicted to persons. The Bible said God has no respect for persons. The mind is addicted to persons and therefore it's got to be loosened up and it's more like this gentle presence we hear, I love you so, like the song, I love you so, I'm here with you, you're loosening, you're going to be tempted to put it out of the form, even the form of the person making the mistakes. It's just holding on to a world of specifics is really what the mistake is and that's a journey with the Holy Spirit that requires trust and gentleness and patting yourself in the back and being grateful for every little willingness that you can muster and say I came up with some more willingness there and turning it away from this kind of beating yourself up which is just the ego's main defense, it's this main trick. So what happens is a lot of times people like with Ricky coming, Ricky wrote emails, she threw her guitars in the car, she came and she cracked open. You know the things that were there kind of was like really tight, all those old patterns was like cracked open, cracked open, cracked open, will you still love me? Because we're so afraid if we crack open that no one will love us, you know, if we go let the darkness arise, but you need experiences of that, that's why we have our festival. So you get swamp and swarm, there's a good old fashioned outdoor gathering of love, you know, of love and music and dance and appreciation and gratitude and we decide to wrap the music festival with the Enlightenment Festival, wrap it all together. So it's just one thing, so that's, you know, we're right with you, we're really with you. And at some point the happy learner kicks in and when that day comes, hallelujah, because everything that you notice instead of going, oh, you're going, oh, I see that. And it turns to being a happy detective instead of like some kick. But it does, a happy learner kicks in at some point, you know, when enough of that, just unweaving this and the old splash, and then it's more of a celebration.