 Welcome to Out of the Comfort Zone on Think Tech Hawaii. I'm RB Kelly, body language boss and your host. Today we have a really, really cool guest, but before we get there, first, your book of the week. Now, many of you know Pam Chambers. She is a local author, one of Hawaii's top 10 most admired women, and in October, she released a new book, and it is called Not This Again. That is 18 Challenges Hawaii's Leaders Face and How to Rise Above Them. Now, I've read this book, I gave an endorsement for this book, and I was there at the book launch, and it is a really awesome book. It's full of stories from Hawaii's leaders about common challenges we face in businesses and leading team leaders, and you can find it at PamChambers.com. Not This Again at PamChambers.com, and ask for the body language tip of the week. Now, when it comes to facial expressions, facial expressions are how we express emotions. If someone's sad, you see sad face. If someone's happy, you see happy face. If someone's angry, you see angry face. But some expressions tend to kind of trip us up a little bit, like you might see someone do this. And that's not one of the seven universal expressions, so you might not be sure exactly what they're thinking, or you might see someone do this, and you're not quite sure what they mean by that. Well, if you want to know what someone is feeling when they make a certain expression, then mirror that expression, all right? So if someone makes a weird face at you, mimic that, like, do this with your face right now. You know what this face is saying? If you mirror an expression, like mirror this one, you begin to feel the emotion tied into that expression, which makes it much, much easier to read someone's expressions, read their emotions, and bond with someone. Because by mimicking their facial expressions, you begin to feel how they feel. And now that you know how they feel, you can react. You can build that connection. You can get to know them better. That is our Body Language Tip of the Week. If you want more, you can go to BodyLanguageBoss.com. But now, let's get to our guest. And I'm really excited for this guest, okay? I met her, and right away, I was like, she is so cool, she is so cool. And I knew I had to get her on the show. So we have Heather Patterson. Now Heather, thank you for being here. Hi, everybody. Hi, everybody. Thank you for having me. It's great to be with you. So what exactly do you do, Heather? I'm a chief happiness officer. And so my business is all centered around helping people be happier at work, excuse me. Happier at work. Hmm. How can people be happier at work? Yeah. This is a challenge, first in belief, right? Have being happy at work, why should, what, it's work. That word alone sounds like, oh, it should be awful. That sounds like my husband. I can hear him saying, work is boring, and that's the way it should be. Yeah, right. It's like, oh, it's work. And even in ancient history, right, there were artists and musicians and people who were sort of leisurely, and then there were worker bees. And so this is a longstanding belief of that work should be hard and not enjoyable. But the times have changed. I mean, obviously, right? And we now have this respect for, well, we have this one life, and we have half of our waking hours are spent at work, and gone are the days of just, you know, sort of the leisurely and the workers. It's a bit more melded together, I guess, right? That makes sense. So are you saying that we should, like, quit our boring jobs and find something that we'd like to do and do that instead with our time, or is that not what you're saying? Well, that's some of it, certainly some of it. I mean, your work and being tied to something that you're passionate and that's aligned with your values is absolutely important. So first, it's about who are you and what are you looking for? How do you want to use your gifts and talents and serve the world? Yeah. So if you are someone who hates animals, but you're working at an animal shelter, maybe you should double check and be like, oh, am I really doing what I want to do with my life? Is this really where I'm meant to be? Yeah. Absolutely. Oh my gosh. No, don't do that, because you're causing conflict. That's essentially what's happening. If in your heart you're saying, I dislike animals or donuts or pizza or retail or whatever it is that you do, even video production, this could be this very studio. In your heart of hearts, if you don't like that, but you're doing it anyway, there is what's called dissonance, there's conflict, so you're not going to be happy. So that's at an individual level. So that's just about who we are and how we go out and get our work. And that's some of my work, career planning, career development, helping people sort of figure out what do I want to be or do when I grow up. Gotcha. Right? So part of being happier at work is to make sure you are working someplace that has the potential to make you happy. You're not doing something you hate. Right. But what's the other part? If you're not willing or able to go out and quit your job, and maybe you kind of like what you do, but you're still not really happy, what else could people do? It really boils down to two things, and this is the science of workplace happiness. So a lot of people will say, like, this is soft or, you know, like, oh, where does this come from? Well, it comes from real research out of Harvard, out of Stanford. We have a Nobel Prize winner, Daniel Kahneman, who studied happiness, and particularly in our work. And what it boils down to is results and relationships. So maybe you don't love what you do, or maybe it's not connected to your heart in some way, but if you're making progress, that's a good sign. And if you have one, two, three maybe people at work that you are connected with, that you have a good relationship with, in particular your boss, then you're on the right track. So organizations, so when we move from individual to the organization, organizations who are getting results and are able to foster good, positive working relationships, they're the happiest. Interesting. So it's not just about finding something that you like and being involved with that. It's also finding something where you are making progress and you're actually seeing results in your work and where you're enjoying the relationships that you have with the people around you. Yes. Interesting. Absolutely. Now, as you say this, I'm thinking back at the jobs that I've held in the past. Okay. Oh, that explains why that one was so miserable. Oh, that explains why I hated that job. And oh, that explains why I love this one. Yeah. That makes so much sense. Precisely. And that's an exercise that I often do to sort of break the ice with people. It's like, think about a job that you had where you were really happy, or even a time in a job where you were really happy. And hands down, it never fails when people want to, you know, share their story. They're saying, I worked with these really great people. Or they're saying, we did this amazing work. Or a combination of both. Gotcha. Yeah. So it's about making a tangible difference and seeing results as well as having a good relationship with the people around you. Yes. That is so cool. Yeah. All right. So what are the first steps that people have to go through when it comes to building happiness at work? You know, it really depends on where you are in the organization. A lot of my work focuses on dealing with leaders. Right? So it starts from the top down. It does start from the top down. I mean, it just, we sort of all know that, but we have to be reminded that, hey, you're the leader. So if you're walking around Mr. Grumpy Pants, or Mrs. Grumpy Pants, and you're not happy, and you're, you know, not inspiring a positive happy workplace, well, are your people going to be happy? Are they going to want to keep working for you? Right. No. And it's unlikely that you're going to have positive relationships with your people. Because you're not approachable. They maybe don't trust you. They're scared. And so if there are problems in the workplace, they can't come to you to figure it out. Yeah. Which means the whole workplace suffers. Right. I'm not getting results, but you're not approachable for me to talk to you about that. So it's this vicious cycle. Vicious cycle. Wow. So leaders are the ones who need to be setting the standard of happiness at work. Yes. And in order to do that, they have to be approachable for their subordinates to be able to solve problems and make progress. Right. Because you have to be able to make progress and have good relationships in order to be happy at work. Right. And now here's the thing. I mean, leaders are under a lot of pressure, though, right? I mean, we have to empathize with them, right? And they have a business to run. So it then becomes connecting happiness at work with bottom line results. Gotcha. Right? Because like, what's in it for the leader? Gotcha. So a lot of that is my job. I've heard that. Yeah. I don't know how people say, oh, you know, yeah, I'd love to have better relationships, but you know, I've got a business to run. I just don't have time for this extra training. I don't have time to hire this consultant because I've got a business to run. But what you're saying is, if you can have better relationships with your workers, you'll actually have more happiness in the office, which will then extend to keeping higher quality workers and having better results, which all adds up to the bottom line. Precisely. Right? When workplaces are more happy, they are 12 times more productive. Whoa, 12. Could you say that again? Excuse me. Excuse me. I misspoke. 12% more productive. 12% more productive. Yeah. Well, that's still a huge increase. Yeah. That's right on the bottom line. It's huge. It's huge. There's 10 times less absenteeism. Oh, so you have your workers showing up every day to do the work. Right. Typically, profits are 30% higher than unhappy companies. Whoa. Yeah. So all of those viewers who are just like, oh, I've got a business to run. I don't have time to be happy. It actually affects your bottom line. Oh, absolutely. I mean, I could send you a pretty graph if you need me to show you. Some people need the data. And I definitely lean on more of the relational side and the softer side. That is where I sort of thrive. But I get it. People need to see the data. So it's there. And we can talk about it because sometimes you need to see it. And that's cool. I get it. That is really, really cool. Yeah. Can you tell us a story about a time when you helped a client to build more happiness at work? Yeah. Absolutely. This is one of my favorite stories to tell. I've told it on other Think Tech shows. So if you've heard it before, sorry, it's a repeat. But yeah, no, it's my favorite because it's a skeptical leader. His name is, I can actually disclose a lot of this. Some people I'm not able to, right? Because no one wants to admit publicly, oh, we're not happy. They don't want to do that. But this one I can. So this leader, his name is Kevin Miyama. He's the team leader at Keller Williams Honolulu. And I was referred to him by one of his leadership team members. So getting the foot in the door is really important. And someone trusted that he says, hey, so he was approachable enough. That's critical. But he was still like, sort of thing. And he's very experienced, has a lot of time in the industry and working with people and sort of going, well, what's this girl going to teach me? I could even see, as you said, that a flash of disgust, like, really, what is this person going to teach me? Yeah. I don't like this. I'm not saying anything that he hasn't already said, and he's put it in writing and the whole thing. He's sort of like, what's she going to teach me? And so we just went through a series of questions and conversations and really discovered they were getting results somewhat, but the relationships were tarnished. And so we worked together. We had a schedule of an every other week coaching. So executive coaching, which is an aspect of my business. And then we did group training, so with the team. So we addressed the individual at the top. And then we brought the team together to forge those relationships. They needed to learn some stuff about being happy at work and sort of unbreak some habits and things, undo some bad stuff. And we just continued that schedule. And now, you know, like, he's so funny, he'll like, call me up. Hey, you're the expert. I got this thing. You know, what can you help me with? And we now do team building exercises and retreat facilitations and things together. So yeah, I mean, he's really transformed and been able to build a relationship with his team where they know that he's got their back, that they can bring challenges to him. And you know, it wasn't about changing him. It was just about helping him connect more, right? Getting a little bit more vulnerable, communicating in a way that's going to be purposeful and effective, you know, giving him outlets to maybe express his challenges and his frustrations, because they exist. Like, let's keep it real. Like, unhappy stuff happens. Unhappy stuff happens at work. Yeah, you know, that's just the nature of it. But what we do with that unhappy stuff really matters. That is a really awesome, awesome story. Thank you for sharing. Oh, thank you. I love sharing about it. Viewers, we're going to be right back. Stay on this channel, all right? We'll be right back after a quick break. Thank you. This is Think Tech Hawaii, raising public awareness. Aloha. I'm Carol Mon-Lee, Think Tech Hawaii's Volunteer Chief Operating Officer and occasional host. And this is Minky. For the first time, Think Tech Hawaii is participating in an online, web-based fundraising campaign to raise $40,000. Your thanks to Think Tech will run only during the month of November, and you can help. Please donate what you can so Think Tech Hawaii can continue to raise public awareness and promote civic engagement through free programming. I've already made my donation and look forward to yours. Please send in your tax-deductible contribution by going to this website, www.thanksforthinktech.causefox.com. On behalf of the community enriched by Think Tech Hawaii's 30-plus weekly shows, thank you, mahalo, and shesher for your generosity. Hello, everyone. Thank you for staying on the channel. We are back. This is Think Tech Hawaii, OC-16 television out of the comfort zone, Arby Kelly and Heather Patterson. Thank you, Heather. Thank you. So Heather was just telling us about a client. She worked with, who was it, from Color Williams? Kevin Miyama. Kevin. And he was really, really skeptical at first about, like, what does happiness at work going to do for me? But at the end, how was he, like, at the very end? He's happier. His people are happy. He's been able to retain some of his key people, and they continue to do better in terms of their results that they're getting. I mean, they're making a lot of records and doing really well. I'm happy to hear that. Yeah. So in more than one case, you've had people, when they build the happiness at work, they end up building the bottom line and building and growing the business. Yes. I'm happy to hear that. That makes sense to me. And I work with some of those soft skills, too, so that really makes sense to me. So some of our viewers, they're not really, like, business owners or big corporations. What are some practical things that our viewers can do to start being happier at work? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, first of all, I think it's important to remember that it's a choice. You know, no matter where you are in the organization, it's a choice. We need to choose. Right? And a lot of times, we say, oh, I'll be happy when. Ah, I'll be happy when. I'll be happy when. But the fact is, and the science says, right, it is fact, that happiness is the precursor to success. So you won't be happy when you find success. It's more about finding happiness along the way, and that leads you to success. Yes. Interesting. Yes, exactly. And so we can do things that are building our relationships and helping us get results at work. Right? I mean, there's other things, of course, that we can do. And you know, this is where the lines tend to blur in terms of work and life, because it is all one part of our being. But like a real practical thing that I tell people, and people sort of chuckle and go like, really, that's not rocket science. How do you make your living telling people this? There are more complex methods. But a real practical takeaway is, say good morning. I mean, just like, good morning, RV. How are you? It's like, oh, you noticed me. Hi there. How are you doing? Right. I mean, because we come in, we've got whatever it is going on at our home, our kids, our partner, traffic, whatever. We've got our iPhone. We're trying to see the thing in Instagram, and we're like, never making eye contact. Not really connecting with people. And so how I say good morning might be different than maybe the introvert that says good morning. But we need to find a way to connect. So I would always say, don't try and be me, or don't try and be RV, don't try and be the other person at work. Be you. Stay you. Stay true to who you are. But do what it takes to build those relationships and get results. So a way of greeting someone and saying good morning, even if it's through your instant messenger at work, do that, connect, make a connection. Another practical thing that I tell people is get away from the lengthy to-do lists, right? Those lists that are, you know, pages long that when you look at them, you start having a panic attack. Yeah, I've got one of those. Yeah. I mean, we all sort of do. And having a repository for your to-dos is important. I'm not saying like, oh, just like stop making lists. Lists are helpful, but they're only helpful to an extent, narrow that down and dedicate yourself to one, two, three, at the most things that you're going to accomplish that day. And priority things, not like the low-hanging fruit that's super easy to boom, check off and you get a little hit of dopamine. Like real things that you're working on are going to help you get to a meaningful goal. Basically it's tied to the goal of the company that you're working for or with, too. And that's going to be practical when you're working for a company with that you believe in, where you believe in their goal and in their values, right? Yeah, absolutely. So if you haven't taken time to, this is another practical application for anybody who's working anywhere, even in your own business, right? If you're a business owner, being able to tie, you know, what you believe in into the work that's being done there, the product or service. So you can find meaning, even if you're just helping a customer on the phone call. If you can find meaning in the overarching mission of the company, your overarching mission, where maybe it's to make every day a little bit brighter. Yeah, maybe you're helping them fix their computer, but if you can do it with kindness, if you can do it with patience, that attributes to that bigger goal. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Something I've heard from you a couple of times during this interview is that that double whammy of results and relationships. And as I think back through my life, the times when I've been the happiest, it's always been when I'm making progress on the things that matter to me and I'm doing it with people who matter to me. Yes. That is so powerful. Well, with. I mean, that's, okay. So like the longest longitudinal study from Harvard, right? They followed 70 men, there was men, but right, we count, too. We count, too. Oh, yeah. And they followed them for, I think it was 70 for 70 years or something like that. I mean, it was 100 for 70 years, but a long time. And at the end of it, they found, well, it wasn't about the things that we acquired or the wealth or even so much our experiences, but the people that were in our lives. The people that were in our lives. Which is why you don't hear people saying on their deathbeds, Man, I really wish I would have put in more overtime. Yeah. You always hear them saying, I wish I would have spent more time with my family, with people who matter to me because those are the relationships that can mean the most. Yeah. And when you're spending half of your waking hours at work, if we were as, gosh, what's the word I'm looking for, like intentional about where we spent our working hours as we are with, maybe say, who we marry, where we live. That's a good point. I mean, why wouldn't we? We're with them sometimes more if not in equal parts. Wow. That makes sense. I know my husband is in the military, so he's spending long hours at work. And maybe I won't tell how he likes that job, but I can say because he put in so much thought into our relationship, but he doesn't really get to put a lot of thought into the people he works with. Yeah. He doesn't get to choose that. That is a reality of some people's situations, right? I don't live in a bubble and go, like, oh, just pick wherever you want to work, and everybody's great. There are some real challenges that there's just difficult people out there, you know? Learning how to deal with them, making sure you're not the difficult person. That's important. That's really important, right? Learning how to manage and navigate some of that stuff is really important. That makes sense. But I can see how it would make such a difference for my husband if he could choose where he worked, if he could choose the people he got to work with. And so if you're one of those viewers where you control, like, you have the power to quit your job and you're not under contract and you can go out and find somewhere else to work, if you hate where you work, how can people find you, Heather? How can these people get help? Yeah, sure. The best place to find me is heatherpatterson.com. On there, I post a weekly blog. That's a video blog or vlog. And so each week there are tips on how to be happier at work, and it sort of ranges, you know, trying to speak to people of varying levels of the organization. And there's ways to contact me on the site so that if you're interested in one-on-one coaching or group workshops, that sort of thing, then we can connect. All right. Heatherpatterson.com. Heatherpatterson.com. All right. And now I'm curious, and I'm sure our viewers are curious, Heather, how did you find happiness at work? This is such a unique area. What brought you here? What brought me to this, yeah. So my first career was in newspaper advertising sales, and I had chose that job because I thought it would be glamorous, which is really funny. And I was just in a crossroads in my career going, ah, like, I didn't do this with attention. It doesn't have a lot of meaning to me. But what does matter to me? So I went through sort of a discovery exploration period, and I found that I really love business. I mean, I am an entrepreneur at heart. I had my first business as a young person cleaning houses. You know, I'm the kid that had the lemonade stand and yard sale. Like, I was doing all that stuff, but I had my business from a very young age. So I love business. I love teams and people. I've been an athlete and a member of a team and varying degrees of my life. And so it was like, well, I saw this connection. There's workplace. We're here half our waking hours. The leader has a lot of influence. And when I'm happy at work, I go home, and I'm happier there. And that was sort of the light bulb. That was like, ah, okay, this is what I want to do. I want to help leaders create these great places so that their people feel good when they leave. And they can go home and they can love and kiss and laugh and play with the people that they love most. Oh my goodness. As you're saying this, I am wishing that my husband's commanding officer was watching so I could be like, hire her so that when my husband comes home, he's had a great day and he's happy at home. Yeah, because it bleeds over, right? If my husband's had a horrible day at work, it's much harder for us to have a happy time at home. And so if I want you to think, if you're hating your job or if you're a spouse or your father, whoever is hating their job, that's bleeding over into every aspect of your life. And that's not how you want to waste your life. You want to find happiness on the journey. So if you are someone who is struggling with happiness or who knows someone who's struggling with happiness, I would encourage you, please, at the very least, visit Heather's website. Yeah. Watch her vlog. Learn more about her because if you can find happiness in the workplace, you will be able to have better relationships around you, you'll get better results, you'll be able to make the difference in the world that you were meant to make. And that is important. So don't put it off till tomorrow. Don't say, oh, I'll change Sunday. No. Do it now. Yeah. Thank you for coming, Heather. Is there anything you'd like to say? We've got like one minute left. Oh my gosh, no. Just thank you very much. I loved being on the show. I love the idea of out of the comfort zone. We're not comfortable thinking about being happy at work. So to tie it all together and your promotion, that's an honor. So thank you. Thank you very much. It's really a pleasure to have you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for watching. We will be here next week at Thursday. And actually, we've got a, we've got a, we, Think Tech Hawaii is having a donation, alright? We want to promote, we want to keep Think Tech running, alright? So please check out ThinkTechHawaii.com to learn more about how you can give back to Think Tech and keep us on the air. I'll see you next week. It'll be 11 o'clock on Thursday. We're out of the comfort zone. Thank you for watching and have a wonderful day.