A Song for Jonathan Taylor Thomas





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Published on Mar 19, 2013

Jonathan Taylor Thomas is returning to TV, and GEEKING OUT's Kerri Doherty shares a song she wrote during a dark time when such a thing seemed impossible.


It's been 7 years since my lover went missing
Day after day, he's all I think about
I close my eyes and imagine we're kissing (and a little more)
And at night I cry when the lights go out.

Until he returns to me,
to myself I must be honest.
I may never know the answer to my one burning question:
Where are you my lover? Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

What the F***, JTT?! The year 2006 hits and you're just like "PEACE, I'M OUT!"
You can't just do that to your fans, man -- we go way back with you!
I grew up on Home Improvement -- when you played Randy it made me Randy and
I'd dream of you taking me from behind against Wilson's fence.
I loved you in the Lion King! Never before have I wanted to have sex with a young
animated animal! I bet you're an animal in the sack!!

JTT, please come back to me.
End this 7-year mystery.
My heart for you, it aches and burns.
I need to know when oh when will my lover return?

I used to rip out 8x10 glossies of your face from Tiger Beat
and mash my lips against them until my mom called me downstairs for dinner.
Tom and Huck? More like Tom and Me 'bout to F***!
Wild America, oh it's wild up in my America and by "AMERICA" I mean my lady

You can run, but you can't hide, Jonathan Taylor Thomas!
I've hired private investigators and they will find you!
Where'd you run off to, anyway, huh? Peru? Timbucktoo?
Alaska, Nebraska, Japan, Kazikstan?
No matter where you've taken your fine ass
I'll find you, motherf***er!

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