 وأقول في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزاله وأقول قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهدي ولا أتأوله الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته وانتقل وطلق وإن أسكوت وعلاق إذا أتحدث سأتعود وإن أسيلاً سأترك حانياً وقلت أنه لن يستطيع أن يتعود for a man to leave his wife stuck like that لن يتعود لن يتعود لن يتعود لن يتعود for a wife nor is she a divorcee now when we're going to talk about the word طلاق here and there are different إبارات different words that ألماء use but we're going to talk about طلاق here and we're going to talk about what is in the hands of the husband we are going to also talk about الخلع which is in the hands of a wife which is sometimes what some of the scholars call they call it divorce with in return for something or we're going to talk about that separately إن شاء الله right now we're talking about a man who wants to get himself out of the marriage contract that's what we're going to talk about in this particular segment إن شاء الله a man wants to get himself out of the marriage contract so in سورة البقرة الله عز وجل said if they decide to come back together then الله سبحانه وتعالى is غفور رحيم and if the decision is made to continue the طلاق then الله سميع عليم الله is سميع عليم and the hadith we mentioned of أبي هريرة رضي الله عن قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن المرأة خلقت من ضلع لن تستقيم لك على طريقة فإن استمتعت بها استمتعت بها وبها عواج وإن ذهبت تقيمها كسرتها وكسروها طلاقها so if you enjoy your life with her the woman she's created from the bent rib and it will never be straight for you if you enjoy your life with her you enjoy your life with her and there are that bend is still there and if you try to straighten her out you will break her and breaking her is divorcing her why do you think we brought this and this hadith the ayah in surat al-baqarah وإن عزم الطلاق فإن الله سميع عليم and the hadith here the hadith of abu hrera that divorce or breaking her is divorcing her why do you think that we brought these two texts in the topic of divorce what can we take from these two texts have a think about that pause the video so insha'Allah we brought these two to show that divorce without reason is something disliked to Allah now there is a hadith which is reported which is from it's very commonly reported that the most hated of the halal things to Allah is this hadith is not authentic as a hadith of the prophet however there is evidence for the principle within it and that is that divorce is something disliked to Allah unless it has a valid reason for it and we can take that from the ayah because Allah said وإن عزم الطلاق فإن الله سميع عليم there is a degree of threat there there is a degree of that Allah can see everything and knows everything if you decide to divorce her Allah can see you and Allah knows what you are doing so there is a degree of threat and a degree of a warning overtaking divorce to be something easy and in this hadith of abu hrera the prophet said divorce as breaking her so even though divorce is something which Allah has made permissible for the man if it is done without a reason without a valid reason for it it is something that is disliked to Allah and we can take that from this evidence that we have put forward here and thawban رضي الله عن narrated the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said سألت زوجها طلاقا في غير ما بأس فحرام عليها را إحة الجنة which ever woman asks her husband for divorce without him having done anything wrong against her it is forbidden for her to smell the scent of paradise so again this is another thing which tells us that even though divorce is something allowed for a husband to do it is not something which is pleasing to Allah when it is done without a valid reason and without any cause for it another evidence that we can put forward for this same principle is a hadith from جابر ابني عبد الله رضي الله عنهما أنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن إبلي سيضع عرشه على الماء ثم يبعثوا سراياه فأدناهم منه منزلة أعظمهم فتنه يجيء أحدهم فيقول فعلتوا كذا وكذا فيقول ما صنعت شيئا إبليس سنز out his armies or his soldiers to do his job and the ones that are closest to إبليس in position are the ones who cause the most trouble one of them comes I did this and that and Iblees says to him you haven't done anything they report back to Iblees and Iblees says you haven't done anything ثم يجيء أحدهم فيقول ما تركته حتى فرقتوا بينه وبين أمرعته then another one comes and says I didn't leave that man until I broke up between him and between his wife قال ويقول نعم أنت إبليس brings him near to him and says what an excellent job you have done what an excellent shaitan you are what an excellent shaitan you are that you broke up between the husband and the wife and again if we're talking about the details of divorce this is a strong evidence that divorce without a reason and without a need is something which is from the works of the shaitan and something which is pleasing to Iblees and is not pleasing to Allah that if it's done without a need and without a reason despite that it is not forbidden for a man to divorce his wife so we have to have a balance here we say it's permissible it's in his hands but every time it's done without reason it's not something praiseworthy and it's not something beneficial so a person should take it seriously and shouldn't embark upon it quickly because it is something that is being encouraged by the shaitan and not something which is encouraged by Allah عز وجل unless there is a valid islamic reason to do so الله عز وجل سأل in سورة الطلاق آي نبتوب فإذا بلغنا أجلهن فأمسكوهن بمعروف أو فارقوهن بمعروف وأشهدوا ذوي عدل منكم وعقيم الشهادة لله الله عز وجل وإنهم حصلوا على وقتهم فالتالي يتبقونهم في طريق جيد أو يتبقونهم في طريق جيد وعقموا أشهدون أشهدون أشهدون أشهدون وعقموا أشهدون لله لذا هناك أشهدون جيد وعقم لنا أنه وضعنا عندما عدل من المعروف فأمسكوهن يجب أن يجد أعقمهن بك في طريق جيد وعقمهن بك أو يجب أن يذهب ومعروفهن بك وعقمنا أنه يجب أنه يجب أن يكون أبليغترية لأنه يجب أن يكون أبليغترية ومعروفهن ويجب أن يكون أبليغترية لذا في هذا الموقف أريد أن أتحدث عن بسيطة أسلاح لذا أمسكوهن أولا أولا is when he is allowed to divorce his wife this is mentioned in حديث or an أثر or تفسير of with regard to the statement of God عز وجل انه عدل divorce them for their today period he also said about it غيري جيماع. يقرأون لدفوصهم في حالة قرارة when they have not been when there has not been any intimacy between them so this is the first thing that we're going to establish about the Islamic etiquette of divorce is that the only time a man is allowed to issue a طلاق to issue a word of divorce to his wife is in a time of purity so she cannot be menstruating she's on her menses he should not be issuing any divorce at that time and that's from the softness and gentleness of Islam because first of all at that time maybe they're not as close to one another as they would otherwise be because of that intimacy not being there maybe she's also emotionally less stable than she would otherwise be she and there might be a reason for him to something to get frustrated with her so Islam didn't allow him to divorce her when she is on her menses and Islam didn't allow him to divorce her in a time period where they have been intimate with one another so if intimacy has happened then the next time that he can divorce her is after she finishes her next menstrual cycle so to be clear if they've been intimate they've been intimate with one another after they've been intimate with one another he has to wait until after her menstrual cycle finishes and then he can issue his divorce he can't issue the divorce during the time during the time period where they've been intimate with one another and he can't issue it when she's on her menses so she has to be out of her menses and they cannot have been any intimacy between them in that since the last menstrual period that means that typically how long would a man have to wait before he can actually process this can actually go through with this divorce typically on average he's gonna have to wait probably a month or more before he can even say the words of divorce and this shows us the misconception that so many people have that a man instantly can just divorce whenever he wants he can just say طلاق and that's it in reality you can't just say طلاق usually the couple will have been intimate that's normal part of marriage and so he'll have to wait until first of all she starts the menstrual period then she finishes the menstrual period and they haven't been intimate once again then he can issue the طلاق so it's not an instant طلاق as many people think in many situations he will have to wait that gives him time to think about things it gives him time for his emotions to go down for his anger to go down maybe for the things that will become rectified during even that time before the طلاق is even issued so now let's presume that طلاق has been issued طلاق has been issued the طلاق has been issued and in here we're not gonna overly complicate things by talking about the woman that hasn't been intimate with her husband and the one who is like he divorced her before the marriage contract or after the marriage contract and before they were alone together we're not gonna go too much into that but because mostly we're talking about families so we're talking about a situation where they've been together they live together as husband and wife they have been intimate with one another the marriage is broken down now what does he do so he's waited he waits the menstrual period starts and finishes there's no intimacy happened between them after that he issues the divorce now he has to wait for their إده and their إده like الله as I just said فطلقوا هن لعده تهنه divorce them for the extent of their إده the إده is three menstrual periods so now it took him already a month before he could issue the divorce not always a month but in many in many cases if not the average case before he can even issue the طلاق will take him maybe a month or a few weeks now he issues the طلاق one menstrual period goes two menstrual periods go three if she doesn't have a menstrual periods then it goes by month regular months but most of them will have a regular menstrual period so he it's gonna go one two three in that three months he lives with her as a wife she stays with him in the house she's not allowed to go and leave the house and say I'm gonna go stay with my parents he's not allowed to kick out of the house they live together as husband and wife for what is usually three full months there's none of this طلاق طلاق طلاق طلاق طلاق you know multiple طلاق I divorce you I divorce you I divorce you I divorce you I divorce you none of this stuff instead one divorce three menstrual periods three months typically he stays living with her in the same house as his wife then he has a choice either he decides in that three months to take her back or to let her either he's gonna he's gonna take her back in a good way like we said we spoke about the آية he's either gonna take her back in a good way or he's gonna let her go in a good way so he's either gonna keep her in a good way فأمسكوهنة بمعروف أو فارقوهنة بمعروف he's either gonna let her go in a good way okay or take her back in a good way he can take her back at any time in that اده period and that's not in her hands because she has a different means of getting out of the marriage she has a different process of getting out of the marriage his process of getting out of the marriage is he waits for a time period where they have not been intimate together she's not on her menses there's been no intimacy he issues the طلاق he then waits living together with her eyes his wife for three menstrual periods three months typically they're living together there's no second divorce is no divorce every month we've heard so many weird and wonderful ideas from people about what is supposed to be done some people say divorce every month some people issue three in one go and lots of things ما انزل الله بها من سلطان الله never sent down any authority for it rather he waits he waits فإذا بلغنا أجلهم and when the time comes فأمسكوهنة بمعروف he decides either to take her back or فارقوهنة بمعروف or he decides to let her go in a good in the best way either he decides to take her back at any time in that three months he says I've brought you back or he says instead that I've decided to let you go and that waits all the way till the end of the time then he lets her go if he lets her go or he takes her back what happens so if he takes her back one طلاق is counted against him how long did it take for that one طلاق to be counted probably between three months to four months in most cases between three to four months it took for that one single طلاق to be counted and he took her back he took her back so before the third menstrual period ended he took her back he said you come back you're my wife again now one single طلاق is counted against him just one single طلاق not three not no go back not marry another man none of that stuff one single طلاق because he took her back what happens then if he lets her go if he lets her go if he lets her go then she separates from him she's divorced and they can remarry again with a new marriage contract if she gives permission her welly gives permission the husband is happy she is happy they come back together with a new marriage contract and it all starts again that's if he lets her go so what's this whole thing about three طلاق and then he leaves her and she has to marry someone else what this means is when the entire process happens three times and he brings her back in those times so here he issued the divorce during the three periods of اده the three menstrual periods that makes up the اده he brought her back that's one then again he issued another divorce maybe a year later two years later three years later again he waited the three periods he brought her back before it ended he brought her back then again he issued a third divorce now she is broken from him on a permanent basis and she can't marry him again unless she marries someone else and it's intimate with them and then if he divorces her and then comes back again that's not the norm but sadly what's happening طلاق these days is people have made the three times permanent طلاق the normal way of behavior the first time they get in an argument with their wife so he issues three times divorce sends out then they have all kinds of haram happening the woman is arranging her marriage to someone else what عيادة بالله and we ask Allah's safety for that for for the brothers and sisters who who even contemplate such a thing that they are even contemplating arranging a marriage for their wife with someone else because he's given a divorce three times and all this kind of innovations and evil as it relates to divorce the three times rule is that the divorce process happened three times so he divorced her in the period he brought her back he divorced her in the period he brought her back now the third time he has only choice his only choice is either divorce her and let her go for good or either bring her back and that's what is mentioned in the statement of الله عز وجل اتطلاق مرتان اتطلاق مرتان طلاق is twice فامساكم بمعروف او تسريح بإحسان either you hold her in good or you let her go but once it gets to the third one then that third one when the process has happened three times there's no going back after that after that فلا تحل له she's not allowed for him after that من بعد وحتى تنكح عز وجل غيره until she marries a different husband and the meaning of تنكح here is she's intimate and she has intimacy with another husband and then he divorces her and maybe after a long time and then she goes back to the first husband that she had but that is extremely extremely rare and it's certainly not something that could ever be مرحباً مرحباً أو مرحباً it's something that might in a rare number of cases happen that a woman got divorced three times permanently she left her husband she got married again maybe she had children and then again she got divorced and she decided to go back to the first husband and this is نادر it's very very rare that that happens and as for this becoming like some kind of norm in divorce where the three times divorce and then the man is looking for ويز out and the woman is looking for or the woman is looking for ways out then this is not from the things which الله عز وجل has legislated so we're still talking about the topic of divorce that's all we have time for we're going to come back to talk more about the divorce and also to talk about بخولع in the next episode and الله عز وجل was best وصلاة و السلام على نبينا محمد وعلى آله و صحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم if you're enjoying these videos and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running make sure you head over to amauathome.com