 65 centuries A Salt-e-Me impairedチャXT credit by LUCKY STRIKE Be Happy, Go Lucky, Be Happy, Go Lucky Strike Be Happy, Go Lucky, Go lucky strike today Now when I have a gift to give I know just what to send The cigarette that smiled and ripped that happy Lucky Blend Sailors are a fickle lot with gals around the sea But they are true to Lucky Strike cause LSMFT. Be happy, go lucky, be happy, go lucky, strike, be happy, go lucky, go lucky, strike today. Yes, light up a lucky and enjoy the happy blending of perfect mildness and rich taste in one great cigarette, Lucky Strike. You see, only fine tobacco gives you both perfect mildness and rich taste. And LSMFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. So next time try a carton of Lucky Strike and be happy, go lucky, be happy, go lucky, be happy, go lucky, strike, be happy, go lucky, go lucky, strike, today. Strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day, the sportsman quartet and yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, yesterday USC and UCLA met in their annual football classic. So let's go out to Jack Benny's house a few hours before the game. We better hurry Jack or we'll miss the kickoff. Yeah, let's go already. Just a minute, I want to copy the line-ups out of the paper. Here's a pencil, boss. Thanks. Here's a program when you get to the Coliseum. Why do that when the line-ups are right here in the paper? Now, let's see. Well, it's silly to copy it. Why don't you just cut them out? Because we have to put the paper back on the Coleman's porch. Now, let's see. Here's UCLA's line-up. Moomo, Narletsky, Flynn, Stroeschein, Livingston, Livingston, Mary. That's Cliff Livingston. Oh, I thought it was your sister, Babe. Uh, no, no Jack, Babe is with the Green Bay Packers. Oh, yes, I forgot. Livingston, Mitchell, Cogswell. I used to play football when I was in high school. Really, Dennis? What position did you play? Been over like the rest of them. Livingston, Mitchell, Cogswell. Gee, I'll never forget our big game. I was the quarterback and there was just a few seconds to play. The score was tied and we had the ball on there. One yard line-up was the first down. So I called for the water boy. What? While everybody else was drinking, I ran for a touchdown. But, Dennis, that doesn't count. I know, I forgot the ball. Uh, but, Dennis, how could you... Wait a minute, Mary, wait a minute. I'll take it. Dennis, did you also play football in college? No. You're sure you didn't play college football? No, why? Well, some years ago in a Rose Bowl game, a player ran 80 yards in the wrong direction and I thought it might have been you. Now, let's see... Well, that was my father. Well, at least I had it in the right family. Now, let's see, I've got the line-up copied. Rochester, don't forget to put the paper back on the Coleman's porch. Yes, sir. And did you make the sandwiches? Uh-huh, and I put your Ovaltine in a whiskey bottle like you told me to. Uh, Ovaltine in a whiskey bottle? Well, Mr. Bentley takes his three o'clock nappy once people are thinking passed out. Never mind. Did you pack my binoculars, Rochester? No, I thought you'd rather carry them. Here. Thanks. Jack, when did you buy those binoculars? When I got my television set, I used them for watching Faye Emerson. Faye Emerson. I stopped when she brought Skitch Henderson on. I hammy the basket, Rochester. Come in. Well, Mr. Kitzel. Hello, Mr. Bentley. I just dropped by to return this roasting pan you loaned me for Thanksgiving. Oh, good, good. Did you have a nice Thanksgiving dinner, Mr. Kitzel? Oh, it was wonderful. Thanksgiving is the one day in the year that all my wife's relatives gather together, unfortunately, at my house. Well, I'm Mr. Kitzel. You sound a little sarcastic. Oh, not intentional. I love having all our relatives for dinner, excepting my wife's brother. Is he a glutton? A big appetite, huh? Woo-hoo-hoo, appetite. He eats like there's no tomorrow. Oh, Mr. Kitzel, you're joking. Joking, he says. Mr. Bentley, he sat down and he had six portions of toy cake, three helpings of cranberry sauce, eight portions of dressing. To the yams, he went back four times. Gravy, you could swim in it, and the rolls, Einstein couldn't count it. Guys, I bet he didn't have room for dessert. That he had first. He wasn't taking any chance to do it. Oh. What made I can't get at him because he and my wife happens to be twins. Twins, well, do they look alike? Fortunately for both of them, no. Oh, well, Mr. Kitzel, we're going to the football game. Would you like to join us? No, I'd love to, Mr. Benny, but I want to get home before my brother-in-law leaves. Why? He may get sick, and this, I got to see. Goodbye, Mr. Kitzel. What Mr. Kitzel goes through on Thanksgiving. Say, Mr. Benny, why don't you invite us over for Thanksgiving dinner this year? You always do. Well, I intended to do Dennis, but I had a little trouble with the butcher. Well, every time you go to buy something, you have trouble. Well, this time it wasn't my fault. Turkeys were so expensive that when I started to dicker with the butcher, he got mad, handed me an egg, and said, here, take this home, sit on it, and hatch your own turkey. Smart Alec Butcher. Turned out to be a duck. 31 days yet. Well, come on, kids. Gee, I had to leave that. Well, come on, kids, let's... let's leave for the game. Oh, I'm ready. Well, by the way, Mr. Benny, which team are you going to cheer for? A UCLA. Why? Well, I live in Beverly Hills near the college, so it's the neighborly thing for me to cheer for the UCLA team. And besides, he washes their jerseys. Yeah, those grass stains are murder. Yeah, I hope you see L.A. wins. Well, I'm going to be cheering for USC. Who are you going to root for, Dennis? Notre Dame. Dennis, Notre Dame isn't even playing. I know, but this year they need all the cheers they can get. For a minute, I thought you were going to have a silly reason. Now, come on, let's go out and get in the car, guess. The trees on your lawn sure look beautiful. Don't they, though? I say, Benita, where's the morning paper? Oh, my goodness. If that Benny fellow, Bonner... Dennis, cut that out! What a kid. You know, Dennis, sometimes you're going to... Hey, Jackson. Jackson. Huh? Hiya, Livy. What are you doing over here at King Solomon's Mine? Well, not so loud. Remember, you're in Beverly Hills. Stop bragging about it. Some place is Beverly Hills. Why, what's the matter? I was driving down the street, stuck out my hand to make a left turn, and someone stole the ollie out of my martini. Oh, that's a shame, Phil. And after you took a sightseeing all the way from Encina. Hey, Phil, that's a beautiful car you're driving. Is it new? Yeah, brand new Cadillac. I bought it for Alice. I thought I'd surprise her. You? You bought a car for Alice? Yeah, them joint bank accounts are wonderful. Phil. When Alice finds out I learn how to write my name, she'll kill me. Oh, you know now. You know how to write? Well, I can't believe it. Go ahead, Phil. Let me hear you spell your name. Okay. P-H-I-L-H-A-R-I-S. Phil, you left out an R. Oh, yes. H-A-R-I-S-R. Phil, my only regret is that I have but one band leader to give to NBC. Hey, Phil, we're going to the football game. Why don't you join us? I'd like to live, but I can't. Well, so long, kids. See you later. Goodbye, Phil. Oh, wait, kids. Don't forget to listen to me Monday night. I'm going to be on the Lux Radio Theater. Lux? L-O-X. That's Lux. Well, that's closer than I got with Harris. Yeah, closer, closer. So long, Phil. Well, let's go, kids. Is everything all ready, Rochester? Yes, sir. Come on, come on. Let's get in the car, everybody. Say, Jack, your car looks much nicer. Thanks, Mary. You even got new seat covers. That's the top. It sags a little. Yeah, yeah. Now, come on, Dennis, Mary. Hop in. Go ahead, Rochester. Start the car. Yes, sir. Rochester, why is the motor spitting like that? We can't stand each other. Oh, stop. Try it again. Yes, sir. The motor was just cold. Uh-oh. What's the matter, Rochester? I forgot to bring the sandwiches. Well, it's too late now. Maybe after the game we can stop and get something to eat. Okay, Jack. But this time let's go to a restaurant instead of a drive-in. But don't you like drive-ins, Mary? Sure, but the last time Jack drove into one, the girl put the tray on the door and the car turned over. It did not. Now, come on, kids. Let's enjoy the ride. By the way, Dennis, what are you going to sing on the program this week? Oh, it's called All My Love. Would you like to hear me sing it? Sure, Dennis. That would be nice while we're driving along. Now, go ahead. Go ahead and sing. And wait a minute. Mary, Mary, did you drop something? No. Then what are you bending over for? I'm hiding till we pass the May Company. Well, go ahead and sing, Dennis. Go ahead. As I recall... Very good, Dennis. Especially the finish. I never knew you could hit such a high note. Neither did I. When I came to it, the spring and the seat broke through. As long as you hit it, that's all... Mary, you can get up now. We passed the May Company. I'm ducking for the one on Crenshaw. You passed that one, too. Oh, Rochester, we're getting closer to the Coliseum. You better start looking for a place to park. There's a parking lot, 25 cents. Yeah. There's one, 50 cents. Keep driving, Rochester. But, Jack, the lots close to the Coliseum charge $2 per parking. Well, it's worth it. Look at all the walking it saves. If you want convenience, you've got to pay for it. Rochester, drive into this lot. The $2 one? Yes. Come on, kids. Oh, here comes the attendant. Oh, hello, Mr. Benny. Hello, Joe. How's business? Very good. I'll bring the money over to your house tonight. Come on, kids. Jack, do you own it? Come on, come on. We'll be late for the game. Dennis, don't lag behind. Oh, I'm coming. Gee, with a lot of people going to the game. Jack, maybe you ought to give Dennis his ticket. He may get lost in the crowd. No, he won't get lost. I've been holding his hand ever since we left the parking lot. How can you be holding Dennis's hand? He's on the other side of me. Well, I've been holding... Oh, oh, pardon me, madam. Oh, that's all right. I rather enjoyed it. Thank you. Like, are you going to see the football game? Oh, yes. My boy is playing today. Really? What does he play? The Tuba. The Tuba? Oh, oh, he's in the band. Yes. Maybe you've heard of him. Big Mouth McDonald. Well, I'll watch for him at the half. You can't miss him. On low notes, he drools a little. I'll find him. Goodbye. Come on, kids, let's hurry. We don't want to miss... We don't want to miss the kickoff. Say, Mary, these seats aren't bad, are they? No, they're fine. Can you see all right, Dennis? Dennis. Now, where is Dennis? Attention, please. Will Mr. Jack Benny please report to the Lost and Found Department? I will not. Let him stay there. It's the last time I take that kid any place. Every time we go, I always have that trouble. Jack, look, they're getting ready to start the game. Yeah, the teams are lining up. Attention, please. Mr. Benny, will you please come to the Lost and Found Department? He's driving us nuts. Jack, go get Dennis. I'm not going to leave now. Here comes the kickoff. Mary, look at that ball go. What a kick! It's going way... Sorry to bother you, fella, but you're sitting in my seat. Huh? That seat belongs to me. Would you mind moving? Well, you must be mistaken. My ticket says row 72, seat 4. And this is it. Well, that's what my ticket says. So if you don't get out of the seat, I'll sit on your lap. Look, Mr.... Come on, come on. Get out of the seat or I'll punch you right in the nose. Oh, yeah? Mary, please. I'll handle this. Oh, you will, huh? Mr., let go of my lapel. You don't have to get that excited. Now, wait a minute. I'm sure the usher can straighten it out. Oh, there's one. Oh, usher, usher... That's all I need. Look, usher, I have a ticket for row 72, seat 4. And this man has a ticket for the same seat. How did that happen? I don't know, but won't it be cozy? Never mind that. What are you going to do about it? Well, if you like, you can sit in seat 6, row 12, on the 50-yard line. Oh, is that seat vacant? It ought to be. It's in the Rose Bowl. Stop being so smart. You are, without a doubt, the most stupid, inefficient, blundering... When you say that, smile. Why? We're on television. Well, that's the last straw. I've got a good mind to take. You lay a hand on me, and I'll pull a cork out of your oval teeth. Oh, get out of here. Mary, where's that other man? He's gone. Good. Come on, we want a touchdown. We want a touchdown. Jack, stop yelling. It's time out. Oh. Jack, look. The cheering section is getting up. Oh, yes. Rock, rock, rock. Fight them, fight them. Sist boom, bop. Rock them, sock them. U-S-C-U-C-L-A. She had a rooting for both teams. Sist boom, bop. U-C-L-A-U-S-C. All-Smoke-L-S-M-F-T. Where? Rock, rock. Rock, rock, rock. Free and easy on the drop. Light them, light them. Take a puff. Isn't this some clever stuff? Now, if you want to win this game, just pass those luckies more. The odds are always two to one. That lucky strike will score. Be happy, go lucky. Be happy, go lucky strike. Be happy, go lucky. Go lucky strike today. There's Big Mouth McDonald. When everyone is voting for the player that they like, for all American full pack, we'll vote for Lucky Strike. Be happy, go lucky. Be happy, go lucky strike. Be happy, go lucky. Go lucky strike today. Mary, Mary, Don Wilson must have had something to do with that. Jack. Jack, they're starting to play again. Yeah. All right, get your hot dogs. Get your red hearts here. Hot dogs. Mary, you want a hot dog? No thanks. Oh, I'll have one of them, mister. Yes, sir. One hot dog coming up. Would you like relish? Relish, yes. Chopped onion? Uh-huh. Mayonnaise? Yes, yes. Chili sauce? Yes. You'll have to get them someplace else. All I got is mustard. Just give me the hot dog. Paul. Yeah, look at that marlitsky move. Wow. What a tackle they threw on it. Bend out of them. Get up! Get up! I'm sustaining your jersey. Attaboy! Attention, Mr. Benny, please. Please come and get him. You can't do this, guys. How many Irish songs can we listen to? Jack, you better go and get Dennis. Oh, all right. Pardon me, pardon me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Peanut's popped. Hello, Sunny. Hello, Mr. Benny. We're doing great. If if you get stuck with any cry a little I See you later. Let's see Let's see. Where's the lost and found apartment? I'll ask this fella here. Oh Pardon me, mister. Can you tell me where the lost and found apartment is? No, I'm a stranger here I know it wait a minute. I've seen you before. What's your name? Savoni Mr. Savoni, don't you remember me? No, but you must remember one day you stopped me on the street about a year ago Ask me for a dime for a cup of coffee and I gave you 50 cents. Holy smoke is that very Well, I thought maybe you'd forgot me oh no, I tell all my fraternity brothers To join my friend Fraternity mr. Savoni for a college man. What's happened to you? Now look look Look mr. Savoni, you're my pal you can call me John. Well, thank you Now John you're always short of money. How did you manage to get into the Coliseum? Well, I'll tell you all happening away I was walking down the street Wasn't doing anything just walking down the street. I didn't feel like doing anything Just walking down the street The fella comes up to me and says hey you I see who he see you I see me Yeah, I said what do you want? He said you want to buy a ticket to the football game I said how much you want for the football ticket? He said three bucks So I gave him the three bucks and they came to the football game, but look at you're always broke Where'd you get the three dollars to buy this ticket? While we were standing there talking it got kind of chilly so I put my hand in his pocket Well at least you gave the man his money back. Did you take anything else? No, but he gave me his card card, let me see it Hmm Jay Edgar Hoover Jay Edgar Hoover. Yeah, he made me so near me Mr. Mr. Savoni, why don't you get some ambition go out and find yourself a job settle down get married Oh, I was married once but my wife threw me out Well, why would she do a thing like that? I don't know. I was just hanging around the house. I wouldn't do anything. I see what you mean So long mr. Savoni Wonder no, and I'm not gonna bother. Come on. Let's go back to our seats. What seats the game is over It is what was the score 39 to nothing? 39. Oh, isn't that cute? I'll bet they did that just for me Come on, Mary. Let's go Now here's a picture of a pack of richer lucky strike it makes you think of smoking joy and mildest people like I'm sure I know the reason why the Mona Lisa smile. She just discovered lucky strike the smoke that's rich and mild Yes, be happy go lucky enjoy perfect mildness and rich taste Happy blending you always get in one great cigarette lucky strike Puff by puff you'll always find luckies or milder in fact scientific tests confirmed by three Independent consulting laboratories prove lucky strike is milder than any other principle brand and puff by puff You'll always enjoy the full rich taste of truly fine tobacco because LS MFT Lucky strike means fine tobacco. So next time try a carton of lucky strike and be happy go lucky Be happy go lucky be happy go lucky strike be happy go lucky go lucky strike today We're a little late. Good night, folks Next week Amos and Andy will be our special guest John L. C. Simone was played by Frankie Fontane Stay tuned for the image man. He shall as follows immediately. This is CBS the Columbia broadcasting system