 Lux presents Hollywood. Lux Radio Theatre brings you Wallace Berry, Marjorie Main, Noah Berry, and Carol Ann Berry in Barnacle Bill. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. William Keely. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. There comes a knocking on our door tonight, a seafaring character whose name is famed in song and story, Barnacle Bill. While he may not be identical with the gentleman who vowed to sail the sea until I croak, fight and swear and chew and smoke, he certainly has many of the lusty and contagious manners of his namesake, and no one could better portray the role of such a character than Wallace Berry. Wally appears, co-starred with Marjorie Main, his brother Noah, and his daughter, Carol Ann, in Metro Golden Mail's boisterous comedy, Barnacle Bill, a saga spiced with sentiment and humor and sparked by the excitement so inherent in the lives of those who seek their fortune by the sea, matching brain and muscle with the elements. In keeping with that spirit of resourcefulness afloat, many of you probably saw in a recent issue of Life Magazine the photograph of a young American wife sailing to join her husband overseas. Plainly visible in her open suitcase are the gifts she's taking to her husband's family. One is canned goods and the other is two packages of luck flakes, and I'm sure that when that young bride meets her in-laws for the first time, that friendly gift of luck flakes will do much to break the ice, as well as to recommend her as a housewife of distinction. We're off to the pungent coast of California and the first act of Barnacle Bill, starring Wallace Berry in the title role, and Marjorie Main as Marge Cavendish, with Noah Berry as Adam Kelly, and Carol Ann Berry as Virginia. Nearly six months, and Bill Johansson sat in Margie Cavendish's parlor and rendered that haunting duet with her, rendered meaning to tear apart. But now on the bow of his dilapidated fishing boat, Bill's returning to port. Pico, his partner, leave us manfully at the oars of a rowboat, slowly towing the fishing boat into dock. Here, help you? Did you ever hear of a captain desert in his ship? I'm just sitting here till my vessel sinks from under me. That there's marital tradition, Pico. He may be, but she will so better if you pump some of those water out. Oh, she'll float all right until we get her into the dock. Hey, Pico, you see that there, Gloucester schooner over there? That there's the three sisters. Don't go and meet that a pretty ship. Bill, we're going to sink any minute. Oh, stop you worryin'. There's the boatyard dead ahead. Are you sure they picked your body here? Will you stop your yammering? My sweetie lives in there, she and her paw. Why, him and me is just like father and son. They'll be tickled to death to see me there. Is that you, Bill, your husband? Hello, Margie. Hello, Pop. You big choker. If you get any choker, I'll wrap a harpoon down your face at house. Does your father be? I'm home, Marge. Stand clear, you old abalone. I'm throwing a line. Tie this up, honey. If you don't, you'll sink right here in your front yard. God. Don't you try any more of your stick-ways with my little girl. You good-for-nothing deadbeat. Don't you call me a deadbeat. I'll sue you for liability. Now, stop talking me into my pepper. I'll pop your hair with this. He'll act. Marge, you ain't changed one teeny bit, have you? You've got that $100 you owe us. Well, to tell you the truth, Mr. Marge, you're just as pretty as you ever was. Oh, this year's Pico. Him and me's partners. Howdy. Hello, Pico. You remember the little girl I'm always talking about being so handsome and talented? No, I don't remember. But why did you step on my foot? You remember Pico, my pin-up girl? Oh, yeah. Well, this is it, Pico, on the hook. What about my $100? Pop, I ain't got it on me at the moment. Just an oversight. I'm going for a lawyer right now. I'll attach your boat. Oh, you ain't going nowhere, Pat. If Bill ain't got a boat, he can't face it. If he can't face it, he can't pay his bills. It's always tough. And get out in the store, daughter. Customer just came in. See you in a minute, Marge. Pico, ain't that some fine figure of a woman, huh? I don't know, Bill. I think maybe you just been looking on the macros too long. Hey, Bill, you really think her father's going to get a lawyer? Oh, who cares? I don't really own the boat anyway. You don't own your boat? Not legal like I don't. That boat belongs to my daughter. When I bought it, I had it put in Virginia's name. Virginia? How did I know? I ain't seen her since I left Gloucester. That's a long time ago. How do I know? I don't know. Well, what are we going to do now? You go and help that fella get that boat up on the cradle. I'm going in and smooth some with Marge. Bill, you handsome or do you need us out of cracker? Dog, dog, girl, and Marge. You sure have got a fine story here. Everything a seafaring man put going for. Well, I know it's hard work. That's something you wouldn't know anything about. You know, Marge, I've seen a lot of women in my life, but I never see it any like you. When they're talented, why they ain't pretty. And when they're pretty, why they ain't sophisticated. Gosh, you got all three combined. You're the flat enough man never did see. But somehow it always cost me money. No, no. What did you have to go say that for? I was just going to speak about that little bill that I owe, but you got me all embarrassed and I don't work. Oh, well, I didn't mean to. Go on, Bill. Well, I came here kind of a sudden, Marge. I just had time to have my bank accounts transferred. You got your pants on? Marge, sure I got my britches on. And you're standing in the middle of your bank account right now. You know, Doggone, well, I'll pay you the first load of fish I get. Pay off a hundred dollars with one load of fish? There's some optimist. That's it. Go on, call me names. When I go after fish, I get them. The prices ain't what they used to be. Ow! Oh, keep your big mitts off of my crackers. Have I been eating your crackers? Of course you have. You see, well, you got me so Doggone stirred up, I don't even know what I'm doing. Margie Doggone, you're prettier than a sea bass. Now I stole that soft top. I'm talking about the price of fish, not the look sudden. Things are tough, Bill. They are, huh? There's no good thief in town. Now, Marge, Doggone, don't be like your Paul. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about a hound dog named Adam Kelly. He runs the wholesale business here, and all he gives is five cents a pound for toner. Well, what are they celebrating for? Of course there ain't nobody else to buy. When they try to, Kelly and his thugs own him out of town. Somebody's got to stand up to that part. Bill, I think you're the one to do it. Who? Me? Huh, why should I go out after five cents tuna when I can get 30 cents swordfish, huh? You mean, why should you work hard when you can sit on that broad beam of yours and wait for a swordfish to come by? Oh, what do you got to be that way for, Marge? I'm simply protecting your investment in me. How long is it going to take before my boat's ready to go again? Jeff says two days. Oh, you just wait and see what I'm... And while your boat's here, you're living on the boat. No more boredom with me and Paul. Well, you just remember this. As soon as my ship's sea-worthy, I'm going fishing. Why, I regard my financial obligation to you as a... well, as a debt of honor. I'd be nothing more than a mangy, old, unrepeatable, sea-going skunk. Was I to try and well-shown you and your Paul? Wouldn't I? You're taking me something terrible, Bill. But I won't say it. Marge, now, don't go on it. How can you think of such a thing? Wake up, you hear? You'll knock your flat on a halibut. Oh... Oh, hello, Marge. Oh, don't hello me, you pickle-faring. No, no, wait a minute. You ought to be ashamed of yourself breaking into a gentleman's boudoir like this. I hoped you had a good time last night for that blonde. Marjorie Cavendish. Don't bother to lie. Perhaps I'll you with a down-that-saloon. What blonde? Oh! Oh, her? That was Jack the old school chum of mine. That's all. An old school chum. Her name's Mammy, and she's worked that saloon for 20 years. Say, if your papy says I was in that saloon, he's telling a big fib. He's just mad because I wouldn't buy him a beer. I heard you brought in a big swordfish yesterday afternoon. A big swordfish? I almost threw it overboard. It was so little. If you told it instead, you promised to pay me how the first call you got. Sure I did. And I meant it, too. Hey, Pico! Yes, sir. Come here, partner. Come on over here. Come here. Give Miss Cavendish that there. Five dollars we've been saving special for her. Yeah, you can't give five dollars to her. Well, give it to her. Fine. Well, that'll be a start anyway. And let that be a lesson, Miss Margie Cavendish. Never condemn nobody until they're convicted. Yeah. Last night ought to be a lesson to you. To stay away from blonde named Mammy. Well, my five dollars, you'll give it to her. You bet I did. For that five dollars, I gotta say some money to my dear old mother. I'm glad you spoke of that, Pico. A fellow who don't take care of his parents ain't no good. Oh, gosh. Oh, my head. Yes, sir, Bill. You'll get thirty dollars for saltfish. How could you be so selfish, Pico? I got expenses and income taxes and everything to pay. Bill, that big fat blonde in his alone, she'll kill your money, huh? Don't talk to me about last night. It's a horrible memory. But how am I going to save some money to my poor old mother? Stop gapping about your mom. Come on, help me get up on that deck, Pico. I gotta relax in the sunshine. And then get me some coffee. Don't forget the cream. Where are I going to get your cream? I got no cows. Use your imagination. Steal it off of somebody's front doorstep. Bill, I wish I had a head full of brains like you. Oh, I sure wish you had my head. What the hell like that? Can't you see I'm... You're not ready. On your phone. Stop that screaching, lady. Say. Who said you could come aboard my ship? You're the two noisiest females I have ever seen. We're not strangers, Bill Johansson. This little girl happens to be your daughter. What did you say? What are you... Well, Letty Breckenbridge, it's you, ain't it? You always was bad luck to me. And you remember your baby, I hope? Sure I do. But this year, kid, that ain't her. Mine was only all wealthy. She was only about that long. Children have a way of growing up. Well, Virginia, you finally had your wish. You've seen your father. Now, let's get off this smelly old boat. Oh, no, I can't. I can't leave my father. It's quite obvious your father doesn't want you. Oh, of course he wants me. He gave me this boat, didn't he? Sure, I... Wait a minute. You had it registered in my name. Because we got a notice, and that's how he knew we signed you here. Yes, but I... I only did that. Nothing can prove to me that he's fit to be your father. Who ain't fit? Now, don't you go poisoning her mind like you did her maus. There ain't nobody that's any fitter. And I'm staying with him forever. Now, look, dear, I've been over this with you a hundred times. I can't leave him. All right. Your suitcase is there on the dock, and you know where you can reach me. I'll stay at the hotel and town till my ticket runs out. When you're ready to go home, when you want anything, just tell her. Thanks, Aunt Letty. I... I'm going to miss you. It won't be for long, darling. I'm quite sure of that. Goodbye, dear. Goodbye. Hey, where's she going? Dr. Gloucester, and I'm going to stay with you. You know, I've thought about you all my life. It sure going to be good having my own pa and sitting aboard my own boat. Eh, don't you go getting any ideas. You know, I'm still the skipper. Sure you are, Pa. We always have a sea captain in our family. Oh, he practically drove me from the bosom of my family. Folks back home were awful proud of him. They gave him this. Look, this telescope. Oh, gee. That's some telescope, ain't it? He got it for being the best skipper in Gloucester. He had a scooter. The most beautiful thing you ever saw. Just like that one over there. Well, that there? Well, that's the three sisters. You know, I brought her out all the way from the east coast myself. You did? Mm-hmm. I was going to go down to the South Seas with her when they owned his dog. They went and laid her up. Gosh, I wish I hadn't let him if you did that. I was sure you were a real sea captain. Oh, gee. What about that telescope? That's got gold bands around it, ain't it? Pure gold. I bet we could borrow a hundred dollars on that, don't you? Say, you come with me. I want you to meet an old friend of mine. You old man's meeting by the counter? Him? He's nobody's friend. Not even his own. Watch me wake him up. What's going on here? What did Stundoration do? Get out of here! Hello, Pop. Where's Margie? You leave her be. You sit down here, Virginia. Margie must be out in the kitchen. I'll be right back. Guess who, honey? I don't have to. Nobody but you would come in without me. Gosh. Mmm. Sure smells good, whatever your cooking, Margie. You know, honey, it must get awful. Lonesome around here without nobody to talk to except that cranky old man of yours. Now you leave Pap along. Oh, you don't know what I mean. I mean, don't you ever think what a blessing little children is? Bill, you're finally proposing. Oh, no, no, no, honey. You're jumping at conclusions. I don't mean little babies. I mean, grown up. Like my daughter. Oh, oh, Ginny. Ginny, come in here. So that's it. I might have known you were a bigamist. Oh, but Margie, you got me all wrong. No, no. Her ma died when she was a little bitty baby. Why, she must be 12 or 14, 15 now. Yes, ma'am. See, Margie, look, ain't she a nice kid? Well, here's what I've been thinking. I thought that maybe you could put a little cop there in your room where she could sleep, and, of course, I'm willing to pay you a little extra for board, and then you'll have her as security for what I owe you, huh? Bill, your hand. Did that as well, dear? What you doing? Here, take this quarter. Go get a couple more pork chops for lunch. You mean she can stay? Oh, get along with you. Oh, sure. I'll take them straight in that hole out. Oh, Margie, hey, you ain't got an extra slick dime habit. What for? Well, I thought maybe I'd get a little gargle, but I can get along without it, I guess. Now, here, you be nice and planked, Jenny, like your pa. Hello, honey. Hello. Would you really like to stay here with me? I don't know. I thought my father wanted me. He gave me his boat. That's why I came out here. But now I know he did it just so he wouldn't have to pay his bill. Who in the world ever told you that? Well, there is a word of truth in it. There isn't? I reckon I ought to know. Say, you ought to heard your pap talk about you. Prouder than a cucumber. What? Prouder. Now, look, child, your pap ain't no great shakes to look at, but that boy's got some good qualities down underneath. Oh, I know. I'm sure he has. Look, can I set the table for you? Oh, now you don't need to bother. Oh, but I'd like to. I was sort of hoping I could keep house for my father. Well, you'll be all right, honey. And you know, there's some other ways we can help him. Your pap don't know it, but what he needs in his life is a woman. Well, I'm not exactly a woman. Oh, well, you'll do all right, and I'll help you. Do you think you'll ever be a shoring of sea captain? Well, with both of us concentrating on him, there's no telling what's going to happen. Now, let's see. Tomorrow, Sunday. How'd you like to go to church, honey? You and me and pa? Oh, and especially your pa. Be kind of nicer than to meet the preacher, don't you think? Oh, that'd be wonderful. Yes, sir. There's no telling what's going to happen. Like a broken heart. Gladness like the fruit. A barnacle bill in just a moment. Say, Libby, what are the stars going to wear in the Easter parade? Well, starting from the ground up, I'd say anyone who owns a pair of nylons will have them on that day. The stars guard their nylons like gold, you know, just like the rest of us. That must mean luck's care. Oh, naturally. Because luck's cuts run way down. Imagine a movie star with a run. Claudette Colbert, for instance. You know, she's just won the Fashion Academy's award for the best dressed woman on the screen. On the screen or off the screen, I've never seen Claudette look less than perfect. And it's all her own good taste. Remember those stunning clothes she wears in Tomorrow is Forever? She selected practically all of them herself. Directors say she not only knows what looks well on her, but knows what clothes will help the mood of the scene. That's important in a picture like Tomorrow is Forever, where there are so many tense emotional situations. Yes. And perfect clothes care is important, too. Suppose Claudette got a stocking run when she's pleading with Orson Welles who plays a part of her first husband. But international studios watch out for things like that. They specify luck for stockings as well as all other nice washables. Luck's care really does make stockings last longer. Hundreds of scientific strain tests proved it. Stockings washed with luck didn't go into runs nearly so quickly as those washed with strong soap or rubbed with cake soap. So no matter what kind of stockings you're planning to wear in the Easter parade, prolong their life with luck's care. You can make your luck's go further, too, if you use only as much as you need to make rich suds. Luck's contains vital material, so don't waste it. Here's Mr. Keely at the microphone. Our curtain rises on act two of Barnacle Bill, starring Wally Beery in the title role, and Margie remain as Marge Cavendish, with Noah Beery as Kelly, and Carol Ann Beery as Virginia. Margie's campaign to reform Bill was born a sudden and startling result. She's actually succeeded in getting him to church. Margie and Virginia beam happily as they join Bill in the closing in. Bringing in the sea We shall come rejoicing Bringing in the sea Bringing in the sea Bringing in the sea We shall come rejoicing It's two hours later now, and with the minister as a guest for Sunday dinner, Margie, her father and Virginia, wait hopefully for Bill. Comet, how long we got to wait for that biscuit we were? Half just. Don't shush me. Blast his britches, I could eat a shark. Where do you suppose William is? Now if that ain't a silly question, he stopped off in the saloon. Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear. My father wouldn't go near a saloon. I should hope not, especially on the Sabbath. Bill ain't that choosy. Now hush up, Paul. Bill took the pledge just last night. Didn't he, Virginia? He promised me. He promised me he'd never... What? That's William now, isn't it? Listen, he's singing. Higher than a cruise net, too. Oh, no, he won't. You've got a breath strong enough to drive a pylon, and the minister's here. Reverend, permit me to congratulate you on your sermon this morning. I was just telling the boys down at the saloon with, oh, somebody picking on me for it. Now you've got it on tears. You're on rain-low-down-sea cow. You let go of my ear. I ought to pull it off. Get them drunk on Sunday. Pop, call her off. Make her turn me loose. Now get your fat head under this faucet here. This here's water, something you would know and think about. Oh, stop it, Mark. Stop it. That's cold. Stop it, Mark. Jenny, this is sheer madness. Jenny, is that you, Jenny? What you doing? Jenny, I'm awfully sorry about what happened this afternoon. What you thinking about? I'm thinking about Grandpa. What about Gramps? I'm thinking I'd like to do just what he did. Cuss me out? All right, go ahead. If you get stuck out, I'll try to help you. I'm thinking about when Grandpa got sick the last time and the doctor told me never to get out of bed again. That night, Grandpa got up and went out to his boat. But you just said he was ailing. That didn't matter because he was a sea captain. Sea captains don't like to die in bed. That's right, we don't. Sick as he was, he went out to sea all alone. Nobody ever saw him again. Oh, I think that's a beautiful way to die. Oh, that's a fine thing to be talking about. You're too young to... Boy, what would I do without you, Jenny? You'd be better off. Oh, that's crazy. Whatever made you... Oh, Pa, Pa, don't you start crying now. Well, I'm just sorry for the way I treated you, is all. And I wasn't crying either. Something just flew in my eye. Jenny, I'm going to get myself a job. I'm going to go to work. You won't have to look for a job, Pa. March him here or he'll get one for you. Oh, no, what did you have to go and do that for? Joe Batilla's boat is going out tomorrow. You don't have to take it if you don't want it. Well, I guess the trouble is I want to. Pa! Could you just be like that again? Oh, sure, Pa. Wait, wait, I'll make sure that nobody's peeking. Nobody's peeking. Guys, I have as much as $200. And I'm going to buy you the prettiest dress that I can find, too. Gosh, I'd like a dress, Pa, but let's save our money, huh? Save it? What for? Maybe for something like that. Scorner out there. Say, she's still in the harbor, ain't she? The three sisters. Having a ship like that, that's worth saving for, ain't it? I'm coming, Pico. Come on, honey, we're guaping. 100, 150, 165. Hey, what is this? We're all beef and billed. What can we do about it? Well, I figured I had about $200 coming to me. Where's that Adam Kelly fell off? Ain't Daddy's office there on the dock? There's no use, Bill. Kelly ain't there. Here's that fellow who works for him, Dickens. Is Kelly a dick and check the weights for us? I'd be suspicious, but Baker did it. He's always been honest before. Well, we get paid by the weight of fishing. One thing I do know is what fish weighs. The man needs the money, Pa. Can't you do something about it? Them crooks. They can't do nothing like that to us for Ginny. Not unless they cut us in, or look. You're going to stick up for the fishermen, aren't you? Well, I'm going to do something. Here, you wait here. Hey, Mr. Dixon, I figured somebody made about $3,000 extra off of that load of tuna me and those boys out there just rung in. You do, huh? Yeah, but they, no sense of making trouble if you can settle things peacefully. You squawking for the gang or just for yourself? I'm here alone, ain't I? What do you figure you got coming, person? Oh, about 50 bucks. Just so there'll be no hard feelings. Of course, this year don't include anything for keeping my mouth shut. What's that worth? Well, I got a pretty big mouth, Mr. Dixon. How about 100 bucks? That would only about half shut my mouth. 150 and not a cent more. All right. Hand it over. And then fishermen out there, they're coming here. Put that dough in your pocket and beat it. Oh, wait a minute. Huh? That's my kid with him, see? Well, what about it? Well, that kid's my conscience. I guess I've changed my mind, Dixon. Hey, what's wrong with you? Well, I made that kid a promise. And this time I'm keeping it. Are you going to pay those fishmen fair and square, not just me, but all of them? I'll get away, will ya? Sure, I'm getting away, but you're coming with me. Now you're either paying those men off or I'm punching you, Mr. Wright, squaring the nose. Fine, since I stand with that gang ready to tear me apart. It's between you and me. Oh, you lordhead. I'll carry your head off. You want some more? Stay back, boys. This here fight is... strictly private. Better stay down, you handsome. Next time you won't be getting up. Hello, Virginia here. Watch this one. Go catch yourself a tune, Miss. Mr. Dixon. I said get off my docks. Hey, where you are, boys? Keep out of this. That's it for a fight, eh? Come on, boys, let's get him. Dope. Go on, I ain't had such a good time as this since I left them. It's done by the shipyard. Well, that's fine. Fine. Sleeps of order, eh? Yeah, but if it's all the same to you, I ain't picking another fight. Fine bunch of dopes we are, letting them beat our ears off? No. We're not picking any fights. I got a better idea. I'm listening. You and McDonald are going aboard that boat. Open up the sea cocks and cast her off. A nice, clean job, see? What about the cops? What about them? What are they going to find? The boat will be at the bottom of the harbor. Too bad, eh? Yeah. Excuse me, boys, while I bust that cry. Colonel, what's the idea of putting a mouth trap in my bed? No, why? I only... Of course you're getting put in my bunk. It must have just floated it in all this water here. Go on back to sleep, Pico. I'll just... Water! Pico, where's Pico? Let's get out of here. I'll quit yowling and step right out on the dock there. Oh, you're just a few feet from the dock. Margie! Margie! Margie, Margie, Margie, wrong here. Crazy Pico left the sea cocks open. Pull him in the dingy, Margie. Pull him in yourself. I will, honey, just as soon as I get this mouth trap off my pinky. There. Well, honey, looks like I'll have to be boarding with you after all. Since you won't be living on that boat enough to get a raise. Well, I guess it's just fate, Margie, bringing us closer and closer together. Who might have struckle against the stars? You know, silly boy, I might let you hold my hand if I wasn't a ron. Oh, Margie Cavendish. Poor boat, dear. Good thing she's sinking in shallow water. Easy to find it with the mast above the water, honey. Yeah, you're going to hire yourself a diving suit and go down and look her over. Why do I have to go downstairs in the water? Because you was the one that left the sea cocks open. That's why... How many times I'm going to tell you I didn't do it? You did so. Would I do a crazy thing like that? No. Now, you're going to ask Mar... Here I am, Ginny. These things. Come on, I'm getting over there. Carable. That their boat costs at least $50,000. That's right, Mr. But people aren't buying ships like the Three Sisters these days. All right. Are you crazy? $2,600. Why aren't you coming with the little girls? Step up, brother, and pay your deposit. Who? Me? Well, naturally. But, Mr., I just happened to be passing by. I don't carry that much money with me. I couldn't take less than $150 to buy into $2,600 deal. Well, $150, that's different. What's your name? Oh, Bill. Bill White. William. Captain, William, you're hunting. And I dressed to carry the cabin just tried on. Thank you, young lady. Well, Captain, the balance is due in 10 days. Here's the address to send it to. The boat's all yours now. Did you hear that? Look at her. Ain't she beautiful? Where are we going to get $2,450? Paul, get it, won't you, Paul? Well, there's only one person I know got that much money. It's going to be a terrible sacrifice that I guess the time has come to make it. Down, Bill. Sure was thoughtful of you to bring these flowers. Come there. Those things, too. Oh, they ain't half as delicate as you are, Margie. Say, Margie, uh, Ginny's asleep? Well, and your pops out? Just you and me, Bill, sitting in the parlor like the youth. Yeah, yeah, guys. Marge, would you sing that song again? Just for old times sake. Why, sure, Bill. Kind of like it myself. You know, it's so soothing the way you sing it. Come on, honey. Like a broken home. You got me, you got me all choked up, Margie. I never seen such amazing talents all wrapped up in one little woman. Oh, now, I'm so really talented. You know, Margie, when I get my boat, I'm going to get an organ just like this year. And then if I'm lucky enough, I'm going to marry a woman like you. And I'll have her sing that song to me every night before I go to sleep. Sounds mighty attractive, Bill. Yeah, but I guess there ain't much sense in talking. How am I going to get that there kind of a boat? Boy, I thought you was buying three sisters. Yes, I am, but you know, it's the hardest thing in the world doing business with them, their big bankers. That's their rate of interest in scandalous. Why, I'd be just working for a heartless corporation. Not for the woman I love. Bill, I ain't going to let you do it. You ain't going to let me do what, Marge? Work for no heartless corporation. Oh, no, no, honey, I guess I'm doomed. Oh, no, yes. Because if it wouldn't embarrass you none, I'd like to loan you that money myself. Marge. I got the money for you this afternoon. Well, I can't, I can't believe that. I couldn't believe it unless I fell it in my hand. Well, here it is, Bill. It's for you. Oh, gee, ain't that a lovely shade of green? Marge, honey. Yeah, Bill? Marge, honey. Pucker up them lips of yours. They're all a puckered up, Billy. Yeah, yeah, Marge. Let's whistle at their song, honey. We pause now for station identification. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. Our stars will return with act three in a moment. Every year, new starlets rise in Hollywood. Some fade, but others shine more brightly every year. Our studio scout, Libby Collins, has brought one of Metro Golden Mayor's most promising young players here tonight as our guest. She's Dorothy Patrick, long and blue-eyed, with talent to match. How did you get started in the movies, Dorothy? A talent scout saw me in a little theater play in Hollywood, Mr. Ceeley. The next day, I was signing a contract. Without a screen test? Mm-hmm. Quite a compliment. I soon made one. MGM was casting for the Green Years, and I'd read A.J. Cronin's book and thought it would make a magnificent picture. What part would you test it for, Dorothy? The role that Beverly Tyler finally got. But all of us are happy that she got it. She's perfect with Tom Drake's sweetheart. That's very generous of you. And I understand that MGM has planned for you. Yeah. They're casting me in the New Jerome Kern picture. But I hope sometime I can work with Charles Coburn. He's really superb in the Green Years, his grandfather, Gal. Tell me, Dorothy, now that you're on the road to success, what are you going to buy that you've always wanted? Concentration. Heaps and heaps of lingerie. I love pretty slips and nighties. Sugary pinks and blues and yellows. But you can be sure I'll take good care of them with luck if that interests Mr. Kennedy. Indeed it does, Dorothy. You know, even girls on a budget can have more pretty lingerie if they give under things gentle luck's care. Isn't that right, Libby? Perhaps you'd better explain that, Mr. Kennedy. Well, scientific washing tests showed that undies washed with a strong soap, hot water, and rough handling so looked faded and drab. Those washed the Luxway stayed color-fresh and lovely three times as long. So instead of spending money just to replace faded undies, you can buy a new one. That is, you spend no more than you would otherwise. Right. So you can feel as glamorous as you please without being extravagant. Lux keeps undies lovely so much longer. It's worth waiting for. Thank you for coming tonight, Dorothy. A suggestion to our radio audience. If you can't get luck the first time you try, try again. More is on the way. We return you now to Mr. William Keely. After our final curtain, you're invited backstage for a brief chat with tonight's star. Here's the final act of Barnacle Bill, starring Wallace Beery as the gentleman in question, Marjorie Mayne as Marge, with Noah Beery as Kelly, and Caroline Beery as Virginia. It's the following morning, and stretched out on the dock of his newly-acquired schooner, Bill Johansson watches as Pico paints the form as. But in his heart is a cold terror, for he's led Marge to believe that he'll marry her. Bill is a most unhappy character. Get me to work, hmm? Because I'm thinking, Pico, you and me are getting out of here. We're going to the South Sea Island. What kind of South Sea is this old South Sea? You know I always had my heart set on the South Seas. Sure, Bill, but I thought... Well, that's where we're going. Bill, what meat Marge is going to take today? All I'm worrying about is getting provisions and stuff to trade to them. They're natives down there. Oh, you mean like bees and calicoes? Yeah, lollipops, umbrellas. It would take just about $300. Give away we... Oh, Bill, look, we got company. This is Ginny and your patio. Keep your mouth shut. Get back to that pink hand. Hello, Ginny. Come on aboard, Joe. Getting her all fixed up, huh, Bill? Yeah, I've been working like a dog. Oh, Mr. Patilla has a wonderful idea. He wants to tell you about it. Bill, me and the boys was thinking how you could turn this schooner into a refrigerator boat. Might be easy. Refrigerator boat? You mean going out to them, tune the boat, buy enough fish? Sure. Kelly made a fortune doing it, and so can you. You treat a square, Bill. We'll buy the ice and operate on chairs. Say, that's a swell idea. You mean you'll do it? Oh, sure, yeah, I'll do it. Sure. Didn't I tell you? Well, I'll go make arrangements for the ice right away. Hey, Pa, wait till I tell Marge. Gosh, she'll be as proud of you as I am. Redfish, I think now we're never going to get to the South Sea. We're shoving off, just like I said. But how are we going to get the calico's in the umbrella? How? From Adam Kelly. He's going to buy them for us. Bill, you crazy again? When Kelly finds out that we're in the fish business, he'll borrow us $300 just to get rid of the competition. You please, my fellow, all right. But this Miss Ginny is going to get one big disappoint. No, no, she won't feel bad. Why, I might even take her with us to the South Seas. Won't finish up that mess. I'm going to town and do some high-finals. Hey, Bill, all these boxes full of calico's. We sure want to do plenty business with the South Seas. Sure we are. Now hurry up and get them down below. Yeah, what about Ginny, you told her yet? Of course not. I just looked in on a cabin, she saw me sleep. She should like to live on this school night. Oh, quit stalling. Quit stalling. We'll be getting tired in about three hours. Bill, what Ginny's going to say when she finds out we're going to the South Seas? She ain't going to find out. We'll just tell her we're going on a shakedown cruise and later... Hello, Ginny. Say, what are you doing up at this hour tonight? Well, we were just taking on some supplies. That's all. You're not fooling me. I ain't, uh... They've been counting on you. Mr. Patel and all the fishermen. They're going to make you captain of the whole fishing fleet. Oh, who wants to be a captain of the fishing fleet? We're going to the South Seas, Ginny. Instead of smelling fish, we're going to smell them their coconuts. Oh, please. You've just got to help the fishermen. This is the only chance I've got, and I'm gone. We're leaving tonight. Ginny, Ginny! Where you going, Ginny? If you love somebody, you want to be proud of him. And when you can't, but don't you worry, I'm having a little talk with Bill Johanneson right now. What do you want to scare me like that for? Bill, you've been nothing but a disappointment. Tell me ever since the late eyes on you. I can forgive you for that, but I can't forgive you for breaking the heart of your own little girl. Now, what have I done? You wouldn't understand if I had to tell you. I come to get her clothes. She's going back home with her Aunt Letty. Going back home? Why, she can't do that. I'll go up and talk to her. No, you ain't. You ain't going to get around her with that oily tongue of yours like you did me. You mean she wants to go home and she don't want to stay with her own pop? No, there ain't no way, two ways of talking about it, Bill. You just ain't no fit person to bring up a child. Well, I'll go get her clothes. You tell her I said so long. She has time to send me one of them there. Picture postal cards, will you, ma'am? I'll tell her. There are only boxes below. Come on, Bill, the tide is starting to change. Bill, what's the matter with you? Shut up. You seek maybe, huh? All you do for two hours now is look on top of the water. You see something, maybe? I see my future career going out on the tide and there's nothing I can do about it. Oh, well, you forget that when we get to South Seas. We ain't going to the South Seas. Bill! We're staying right here. Stop asking me questions. It's the only conscience of mine. First time in my whole life I ever had trouble outrasslin' my inner self. Bill, what do you think you're gonna do? You're gonna help those fishmen like Jenny, she says? No woman's gonna tell me what to do. Here. You take this, you telescope, go up and give it back to Jenny before she goes away and get back here. We're loadin' up with ice the first thing in the mornin'. People aboard. Hey, you just pick up that duffel bag and get back where you belong. We're shovin' off here any second now. I'm staying right where I am. I'm here to protect my little girl's interest in this ship. Does Marge know you're down here? That ain't none of your business. Hey, Sapa, don't go give him any orders on my boat. Hey, Joe, Pico, we're on our way. Did you ever see a sweeter sailin' ship in all your life? We should go fast, Bill. Fast? Shucks. Bill knew anything about sailin', he'd crack out them tuftsles. Pico, you know somethin'? I think I've changed my mind after all. I'm startin' to smell them their coconut palms again. You think so? Ain't no reason why on earth why we can't keep right on sailin' down to the South Seas. What's that? Yeah, but what are we gonna do about pops here? Oh, just chuck a mobile board for the sharks. You better stop talking like that. Well, the sharks wouldn't eat him anyway. He's too tough. Can you sail a Dory Pop? Can I sail? I can sail one from here to China. Well, you're gonna sail one from here to San Pedro right now. Don't you try it, Bill Johansson. I'll have the law on ya. Get that Dory ready, Pico. Doctor! Doctor! No use tolerant for Marge, Pop. She can't hear ya. Oh, yes, I can. Margie! What are you doing on board this ship? Hey, you just stopped crying to scare my Pop. Oh, shock-tivers only, foolin'. Say, don't you know it's felonious to sail away on somebody's boat? And don't you know I wouldn't let you do any hard work on an empty stomach? You come aboard to be our cook. You got us two on the stove right now. Sure ya ain't suspicious of me or nothin' like that. Oh, of course you're all right, Bill. I just ain't taking no chances. Well, that's different. Say, uh, Ginny ain't hidein' down below too, is she? No, Bill. Ginny's gone off with her aunt. Oh, well, I will. I was just hoping that... Hey, Bill, look! Ain't that Kelly's sheep out there? Huh? Yeah. That's Kelly's refrigerator boat all right. He's signalin' to us. He's turnin' Bill to come up alongside. Well, let him come. We might as well get this over with now as any time. Come on, I'm in the fish business, Kelly. You dirty double crust keep your big nose out of my wreckage. Ah, don't worry about your money. You'll get it back with it as soon as we're in port again. You haul every fish with the tip of it with these guys. You'll never get back to port. Now, you just follow me and see what happens. We're headin' for them fishin' banks right now. Sleepy it? Hmm, sure I'm asleep. I'm worn out. The first honest day's work you ever done. Now, is your fill up with tuna, Bill? Well, sure, got his clothes in, Bill. Good thing we dropped anchor. Maybe she'll live by mo... What's that noise? I hear somethin'. Snoring away in the yank-a-gagon. Good thing I'm aboard if we'd all get down. It was such a helpless crit... Of course it's your man. Who are you? What donation are you doin' on this boat? I said... Now, honey, turn him loose. Turn him loose? Yeah, of course, but I... I got work for him to do. I gotta get back home, Bill. I'm worried about Pat. He ain't feelin' to go down there. Hittin' that little old man. The way I oughta... Look, the fox is blowing away. I... I don't like this windbill. Gonna blow that the table, I think. Well, the harder the better. The sooner we'll get home. We can see him in this tub home. You keep out of this, your conversation. You can't start your engines with that water in the hole? We don't need no engine. Get on your feet. Both of you. Well, what are you going to do with us? Make sailors out of you. Arrange those. You two go part and get on that anchor. And jump from the captain's face. Okay. And when that anchor's up, you two low-down skunks is going to man the pump from here home. Marge, he is gonna be standing over here with this year's belayin' pin. Now get goin'. Some storm warning. Lower California. Velocity set. I could tell me, have you had any words on the three sisters? She's my father's schooner. The three sisters? She left the fishing banks this morning for San Pedro. Then they're right in the middle of this? Not now. But they'll make it all right. She's a fine ship. I know she is, but... And the rest is up to the skipper. Then I guess I'm not worried. My pa's the skipper, and he's just about the best sea captain there is. He'll bring her in, all right? Get down to the docks, everybody. Bill's bringin' her. My heart is detainin' Mr. Kelly and Mr. Dixon. All I got to say is, all I... I thought you were way across the country in Gloucester. When it came time to leave, I just couldn't go, Pa. Gee, gosh. Anyway, Marge told me we weren't really going to South Seas after all. You know what else she said? She said you're the best sea captain in the whole world. Did she say that? I'm here, Pa. Here's Grandpa's telescope. I know he'd want you to have it, because I know he'd be just as proud of you as I am. Oh, Ginny. Thanks. Margie! Hey, Margie! Oh, she's busy now, Pa. She's talkin' to somebody. Who? Don't get mad, Pa. The minister. Ginny, honey, how'd... How'd you like to be one of my bridesmaids? Brother and have declared same by joining their right hands. I'll pronounce that you are husband and wife. Ain't I got her? Pa, sir. Kiss her! Certainly. Now go ahead. Oh, well, I'm game if you are, Margie. I'm a waitin', Billy Boy. This will return in a moment for their curtain call. Do you have a big family dinner on Sundays? It's good to see the folks, isn't it? But don't you sometimes wish you could serve dinner on paper plates? All morning you're in the kitchen, making a pie, stuffing a chicken. Afterwards, there's a mountain of dishes to wash, what with Grandma and Grandpa, Sister Lill and Fred and their young Betty, Junior, your husband and yourself. If your menu includes fruit sherbet, roast chicken, dessert and coffee, you'll have at least 73 pieces of silver and dishes to wash. Quite a stack. But do you know that less than two tablespoons of Lux Flakes will do all those dishes? Pretty thrifty, isn't it? At that rate, you could wash the dishes for over 20 big Sunday dinners with just one big box of Lux Flakes. And lots more dinners than that when your family's down to normal size. A big box of Lux does all those dishes because it goes further. Tests prove that an ounce of Lux Flakes actually washes up to twice as many dishes as an ounce of any of 10 other leading soaps. And no matter how many dishes you have to wash, Lux will help your hands stay soft and smooth and lovely. Even if strong soaps have left your hands red and rough, just changing to gentle Lux for dishes will make them lovely again. Why not change to Lux for your dishes? Here's your producer, Mr. William Keely. Our thanks for a four-star performance go to that able firm of Beery, Beery, Beery and Maine who come to the footlights for a curtain call. Well, the Beery sure had me outnumbered tonight. They're a talented bunch, all right. We're especially happy to welcome young Caroline to this stage. I'm sure she's headed for a great career. Thank you, Mr. Keely. But you know, Dad should take an extra bow. That's right. Today's his birthday. April 1st, eh? Yeah, I'm afraid so, Bill, but I hope we're going to skip any jokes about April Fool. Well, if you say so, Wally, but it's too bad you couldn't have had it taken a day off for your birthday. A day off? Every time I have a birthday, I take a year off. Marjorie, you surely can't be worried about your age. Not since the 96th Infantry Division voted you their occupation girl. Well, they got stamina, those boys. What's the difference this Maine between a pin-up girl and occupation girl? Are you kidding, honey? You've got eyes, haven't you? Well, Marjorie, I'm sure the 96th Division wouldn't have chosen you unless you'd been an inspiration to them. Well, they hurried back anyway. Wally, how come the waxer waves didn't elect you a pin-up boy? Shucks, Bill. Of course, it embarrasses me to tell about it, but they tossed a coin between me and Van Johnson two out of three. Two out of three, eh? Well, then it was three out of five. Four out of seven. Five out of nine, and so on until Van Johnson won. Well, I have you on my wall, Wally, except I don't think you'd go so well with him, you trope design. I think Dad looks much better against the background of our Jackson Hole Ranch. Wonderful country up there in Jackson Hole, Wally. Yeah, Bill. When the theater goes see Bad Bask and which Marjorie and I just finished with Margaret O'Brien for Metro Golden Mayor, they'll appreciate how beautiful that country is up there. I understand that picture's having its premiere in Wyoming this week. What are you presenting here on Lux next week, Bill? Next Monday night, we're bringing our audience another colorful, exciting drama, Metro Golden Mayor's western thriller, Unkyton, and our stars are Lana Turner and John Horiak. I can see your audience approves the cast, Bill. Well, I could kind of go for that Horiak film myself. And Hunky Talk is a story made to order for them. The fast-moving saga of a gentleman gambler, quick on the trigger, reckless both at love and dice, and a woman whose loyalty and deep devotion follow him to the dramatic climax of his dangerous career. Sure sounds like an exciting evening, Bill. Good night. Good night and many happy returns.