 Good day, my lovely listeners. You are listening to the Forty Auty podcast. Tune in every week to explore inspiring stories and insightful information that dive headfirst into the world of autism and mental health. With all those tantalising tongue twisters out of the way, let's get into the show. Day and welcome back to the Forty Auty podcast with your host as always, Mr. Thomas Henley. Today, it's been very windy in the UK, just your local weather forecast update. And I'm feeling good today. Today, we've got a bit of a shorter episodes than usual. We're going to be chatting to Dan from the Aspie world, all about autism and parenting, not just parenting an autistic child, but being an autistic parent as well, which is something that I think over the course of my life, I've been kind of thinking about the possibility of having a prodigy, progeny, prodigy, prodigy, prodigy, progeny, having a, having a kid. But, you know, sometimes with all the issues that come with autism, like executive functioning, maybe some of the mental health stuff, I'm a bit, I'm a bit on the tentative side around it. I'm going to ask Dan a little bit about his experience. But before we do that, I just want to introduce him to anybody who don't know him. He is one of the biggest, if not the biggest autism YouTuber out there. He's a coach. With my help, I think one set of one of the autism shows, didn't we? Yeah. I think, I feel like I've met you twice though, but maybe it was the one time when I just kind of like, I don't know, but we definitely met in Manchester a couple of months ago. Yeah. That was a nice one. It was good. It's always good to put, like, see people in real life after seeing them on the screen for so long. It really is. So, yeah. I mean, one thing that I want to ask you before we got into it is, you know, because you've done so well on YouTube, I mean, how long have you been running your channel and what kind of thing, like, encouraged you or motivated you to start it in the first place? I mean, they're good questions. So, you know, I've been running the Ask The World YouTube channel now since 2013, but I have been going full hammer on it since 2017, maybe 2016, because, like, you know, I upload my first video in 2013, but I didn't do anything until, like, you know, 2016, probably, you know, like, where I was like, God, this is what I'm going to do. And then, like, I was, I finished university in 2017 and I was like, that's it, you know, I'm just going to go full hammer on YouTube. So yeah, since then I've been kind of doing it. So it does take a while, you know, it takes, but you got to know what you're doing. There's no, there's no luck involved in YouTube. It's definitely a, it's definitely a strategy. But in terms of what made me do it was, I was diagnosed in 2013 with Asperger syndrome as it was back then, and ADHD and some other bits and pieces. And then I was like, oh, man, I knew nothing about autism or Asperger's or anything like that. So I was like, oh, geez. So I went online and I'm obviously dyslexic as well. So, you know, reading blogs and things wasn't really my forte. So I was like, dang it, I'm going to go on YouTube. So on YouTube typing like, Asperger syndrome, and I couldn't really find anything. So the stuff I saw was just like, these dudes are really depressing. Like Asperger syndrome, whenever it hates me, I was like, oh, geez, man. I just felt like, you know, I'd felt worse after watching the videos. And I thought, Jesus, this is just total crap. Then I thought to myself, hey, maybe I could like make videos that were like, you know, fire videos that people could watch and be like, dude, I'm the same, but also my life doesn't suck so bad. Well, you know, it sucks sometimes, but it isn't so all the time. Or, hey, maybe I can talk about the cool things in my life to make it entertaining, or maybe you can talk about the bad things in my life, make it entertaining and help people, or of all that. So I did that. And my first video sucked, but like it gradually got better. You know, after you do like 50 videos, it's OK. Develop them over time. Yeah, exactly. Like that's the kind of key there. But, you know, I'm glad I did because like I was like the first person to do it. It was like, nobody, there was no like autistic kind of YouTubers. There was none. So I was like, you know, sorry, I'll do it. And then it was it's amazing because there's so many now. I'm like, whoa, I love this. You know, I love the fact that like I inspire these people to do this stuff. Well, I hope anyway. Unless it's the same idea, like, you know, years apart. Well, it's the same kind of thing with the the like social media communities. Like, I mean, the one that I'm most involved in is the one on Instagram. And like when I started off, it was hard to like find people to like message and DM and like try and get them on the podcast. Yeah, now. Oh my God, it's just like it's flooded with accounts and people. I'm like, oh, Jesus. And they're not even like little accounts. So I every every every odd day that I find like new and budding in Instagram influencer. Yeah, this Instagram is actually responsible for like the I think it was something like in 2020, it was responsible for like 90% of the millionaires that were made in America because it's just such a big business opportunity on Instagram. You know, the land grab is crazy big, but you're absolutely right. I think like so many people are telling to Instagram now because obviously there's more opportunity with video. And it is a great platform. It does something about Instagram, which is very kind of like it's very relatable to everybody. And I really like that. I do like Instagram. I actually just had a video go viral on Instagram. I've got like half a million views on a video the other day. What was that? It was I did a video on just a just a real dude, you know, talking about how like the flickering of light. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you must have seen that one. Yeah, I've seen it. Yeah. And then I was just in the toy store, right? Like 609,000 views. So I was in the toy store and I was like, dude, I said to my my girlfriend, I was like, can you see this light? She's like, no. And I was like, oh, my God, like this light is like doing my nutting. I can't stand and see that it's happened all the time. And she's like, I can't see it. I was like, what? So I randomly have my camera open on my phone and it picked up the light. I thought, I can explain this because I can show the flicker on the camera because the camera was running at 24 frames a second or 60 frames a second or so. The frame rate was different. So it was able to pick up the the flicker. So I did that and I put it on TikTok first and then it just blew up on TikTok again, like half a million views on TikTok. And I was like, oh, so I put it on Instagram. Same thing, half a million views on Instagram. I was like, holy smokes. So yeah, I mean, the video did really well. Actually, yeah, my TikTok blew up because of that. So I went from like pretty much nothing on TikTok for like 22,000 followers now. So getting there. That's a good sign. Yeah, it was really good. It was really good. Cool, man. So as far as like the sort of the main topics that I wanted to cover. Because what I was just talking a little bit about parenting, you know, starting off I suppose at the beginning. I mean, how did you prepare yourself for having a child and did you have any initial worries about being a parent? I think like, you know, I mean, nothing can prepare you for being a parent because like being a parent is something that like, you know, it's individual for everybody, you know? Because you're not just becoming a parent. Like you're becoming a parent for the first time and that child is making you a parent for the first time, you know? Sure. It's an interesting experience, almost a spiritual experience because you kind of like earn like a hierarchy, you know? You earn like a graduation from being just a human to being like, you know, playing the hand of God. You know, you've created life and you have this thing in front of you but then you have to like play the hand of the universe and to keep it alive and do the best for it. It's kind of scary to me. It's kind of like, yeah, you know, it's not scary. It's kind of really cool because like, you know, because I was like 31, 32 and I'm like, got from was like 28, 29 or whatever. So we were like, oh, let's just, you know, now it's time, you know, we're a good time in our lives to have a child. And so kind of like the only preparation we did was like, I kind of had to, I mean, I had this conversation. You said at the beginning though, like you said, you know, you were scared of having offspring and then passing on issues to offspring, right? Which is, which is a huge concern of mine. But then I was like, yeah, but, you know, there's so much like, there's so much like help available, right? If you know how to access it. And plus it's me. So like, you know, I do this for a living, I help people for a living. So I was like, I can help my kid, you know, if they have issues, maybe they, and I was like, look, there's a chance they won't have issues. But which we'll get on to in a bit. But in terms of, in terms of like prep, I basically kind of like literally sat down because there's some, there's like, so when you talk about preparation, there's no mental preparation you can do. But there's some physical preparation you can do. You can make sure that you've got everything you need, right? So I kind of like made a list of everything we needed and just like bought everything straight away. And so we had this like huge list of stuff and it was a buy and like, and so that to me was like the prep work for it, right? But there was no, there was no, there's nothing you could do to prepare yourself for what it is. And you know what the interesting thing about it is like when you have a kid, like it goes from being like everything like, how can I explain, you know, like, you know when you have to like prepare stuff for yourself, like say, like, oh, I gotta go to the grocery store. So like, then you have to like mentally prepare yourself to do all the stuff and you have to do the things you take your headphones with you and stuff. It's kind of like those things come secondary and then you have to prepare the kid first. So you put yourself second and do you know what the biggest problem there is that you kind of like, you'll forget about you a little bit. So, and then what happens, and this is difficult because what happens is, you know, you'll go to the grocery store, oh, I forgot my headphones, you know, and then you can't deal with all the stuff that's going on. And you know what I mean? So it's like, it's super interesting. Like I, yeah, it doesn't mean you could prepare yourself but it was, you know, yeah, it's good. It's good. I forgot the rest of the question. No, I think you answered it pretty well, that. I think, you know, as far as my worries being a parent, it's less about, I mean, the thing that I'm most scared about is their experiences at school, like in later life. I think, you know, I feel like sort of the early stages sort of going up to, you know, primary school top that, you know, I feel like I could probably do pretty well, but I'm always worried in the back of my head, it's like, oh my God, are they gonna have the same experiences that I've had? Yeah, I feel the exact same thing, but I do have an answer for that. But I think as far as like difficulties that I have, I think, you know, the executive functioning of mental health on my end is one of the reasons why I'm a bit tentative about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, that was like one of my, you know, the school thing was really hard. Like I feel like school is so, like my experience at school was terrible. That stuff was, I'm swearing, was awful, right? And like, even like primary school, secondary school, school, school, like the whole thing just sucked. And I relayed this to my partner. I said, look, I just, I just can't, you know, I can't have this beautiful little thing we just made go off to school and then, and then like, you know, he's, so when, because when he's that young, we were like, oh, he's definitely ADHD. And we're like, look, he's gonna have some issues in school and it's like, you know, and she's like, oh, okay. So we decided to homeschool. We were like, we're gonna homeschool. And we have this rule actually. We said, look, if our kid says like, I want to go to school, we have to allow him to track because this is his own person, you know, like he, he wants to, he has to live his life as well. And so we have to respect his choice, you know, like that's not, we don't dominate somebody's life. We just guide them in the best way we can. You know, we don't make their decisions. And I know everyone's like, oh, you know, you have to make decisions if your kid's until 18. Yeah, stuff like, you know, drinking and smoking and, you know, driving cars and stuff. But like things like, you know, oh, this or that and stuff. And so my kid was like, I want to go to school. We're like, oh shoot. And we spent all his money buying this homeschool stuff. And we're like, oh, okay. So we thought, okay. So we found this really cool school locally, which my partner's sister works at, funny enough. And it was the best school locally. And it's a Welsh school as well. Cause obviously we're living in Wales and we wanted them to have bilingual upbringing. So anyway, this is interesting. We, we got him initiated in the school and he was difficult. Like the integration was super difficult because like he was on like the list to be tested for all sorts of stuff. And they were kind of like, you know, and it was a bad experience. The first class he went to was a bad experience. They were like, does he play with other children? I was like, well, I dunno, it's been COVID. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. And they were like, you know, cause we'd never had this experience with him before because we'd never been around other kids with him. And then they were, they were just really, they were just, it was a bad experience. But then that teacher left and a new teacher came in and this new teacher's kid is on the spectrum, right? And so this new teacher was like, just dead cool. And she like, she was like, oh, we're doing this, that and the other. And so we had a huge, there was loads, there's loads of issues. I could say here all day talking about issues like, how, you know, getting him past the gate, you know? Like to go into the school. Like that, that on itself was just a nightmare. But in terms of- I relate to the, the getting past the gate when I used to do a bit of special needs, TAing. Yeah. I had to do that a few times. And it did so weird, right? Because like he'd walk, he'd like run up to the gate and then freak out. And we'd have a full amount that was like, and it's like, oh my God. And then, but yeah, but now, funny enough, like yesterday, I went to pick him up now. So he's, he's been there a year. He's in a full-time position there now. And he's in a class with his actual auntie, which is cool. And he loves it. But the cool thing, there's two cool things. The first thing is that the schooling had changed the way that we, so when you and I were in school, right? It was a sit down at a desk. And if you can't sit down at a desk, there's something wrong with you. And that's the issue. You're the issue, right? Not the establishment, but it's changed now. Schooling is, what the hell do they call it? It's called like, like a rotation development. So it's indoor, outdoor place. So the doors are always open. So they can go outside if they want to. And you never sat at a desk doing something. You're always in small little groups doing like different tasks and play learning and all these things. Like they did Macaton and they did yoga and they did all these kinds of things, right? And I was like, oh, he smells. And the cool thing about it is that the school have a catchment criteria. So they did certain things with him yesterday. And then so we had a conversation. So now they have to send him for assessment for hypermobility and find motor skill issues and all the other stuff. The lovely things that come with autism. And so, you know, he's got floppy hands and he can't hold things and he gets frustrated. He doesn't play with kids. He plays on his own and all that sort of. So it's kind of like, where I was terrified of that experience for him, he's actually in a really good place because the teachers are looking out for those things to then say, okay, this is what we do in this situation. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So- A little more holistic sort of- Yeah. Case by case kind of- Exactly. And I- Attitudes. And I think this whole new approach to schooling is, is an initiative here in Wales. I don't know if it's everywhere in the UK, but it's definitely here in Wales. So I'm kind of like really blessed. And so, yeah. So, you know, all those fears I had, you know, it's kind of helped me therapeutically because going to the school with him and helping him go in there, I'm feeling way more at ease with it. So which makes me less like, because I was just scared the whole time, you know, thinking back to my childhood thinking, oh my God, it's gonna be a nightmare. And like, you know, and this is the thing, you'll learn this. When you have a kid, it's like holding a very thin glass ball and you don't wanna drop it because it could smash anyway. It's so delicate, you know, you don't want anyone to touch this thing, you know? I had such bad anxiety when like family members would pick up my kid when he was a little baby. I'd like, I'd be crying and shaking and stuff because I'd be like, so like, oh my God. And I was so protective because it was difficult, you know, like, you know, we give like personalities to shoes and stuff and we have a bad time throwing out all clothes. Well, it's kind of like, you know, with a kid there's a deeper connection there, you know? Especially for autistic people, as we feel things deeper. And so having other people holding was crazy. So I had this like whole like, oh no, you know, having him go to- Like attachment, anxiously attached. Yeah, exactly. And you know, but then again, but yeah, it's good now because he's like, he loves school and yeah, I was just like, wow. And so yeah, it's definitely helped me think about, you know, it's helping me as well. And I think that's a good thing, you know? There's therapy there, so. That's awesome, man. Thanks, buddy. Well, I guess like, could you give us like a couple of, or maybe one for each about like the positives and negatives about being an autistic parent? Do you find that there's certain aspects that you struggle with and certain aspects that you really flourishing? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Okay, so I'll give you the negatives. Straight off the bat, the worst part is sensory processing, noise, food textures, and being tapped out. Like a kid always wants to like sit on you or I'll tap you or talk to you or like sit on your head or something, you know? And it's like, you get it, but you're like, whoa dude, like I'm so century tapped out. Like I can't have anybody else touch me today or else I'm gonna flip a table, you know? And it's like the spoon theory, but your kid takes all his spoons from like 9 a.m. It's like, all the spoons are gone, it's like, shh. So it's kind of like, you know, no spoons and you have to kind of plod along. I mean, that's the like, like noise, but especially my kid has like audio, audio ticks. So, sorry, stims. So he does his like, does like, I'm like, ah! Like, and it's so loud. And so like, it's like the funniest household ever. So I'm saying, I wear headphones on and he's like, ah! I'm like, ah! And he's obsessed with sirens. Like, you know, air raid sirens. He's obsessed with air raid sirens. We watch countless TikTok videos of air raid sirens. It's the most bizarre obsession ever, but I even have to buy him one. And then, so we watch these air raid sirens and he imitates air raid sirens. Oh my God. So the noise sensitivity and it being tapped out, I mean, like by far the worst thing. Like it's just horrendous. But the good thing, I mean, this is kind of like a weird byproduct is because obviously you have a lot of anxiety and fear with autism, you know, you're kind of like fearful of certain things. Like you're like, I'm fearful of like going anywhere on my own, right? Because I always feel kind of quite intimidated by people or like say, even down to small things, like say you were scared of spiders, right? But with a kid, you're in charge and making sure that they feel safe and you're protecting them. So to take my kid anywhere, like to town or to a grocery store or to a market, you kind of like put on this like bulletproof vest a little bit and you're like, yeah, man, I can, I'm going to nail this. So you kind of have this. Or your focus is on needs. Yeah, because you're like protecting this kid and you know you can protect this kid, you become like braver in a way, you know? You become somebody else, like in a good way. Like it's not masking, it's like, it's almost like overcoming certain fears. They never really go away. You're overcoming for those times you're with your kid. And like same with spiders and stuff. Like say, spiders and hatch, you have to teach him, like, oh, he's our friend and the spiders on his journey through life and we get him out. And we're very Buddhist here. So like, you know, we kind of like, you know, I teach him all these things, you know? And like bees, right? Like I used to be so like triggered by bees, there's a noise and like what's flying next to you. Oh my goodness. Honestly, that stuff is the worst. But now it's kind of like, I teach him like, oh, the bees are our friend. Hello, Mr. B and they come and land on us. Now I can have like bees land on me and stuff. And I'm like, wow, look how beautiful it is. She's like, whoa, you know, I can never have those things. But so you learn, like kids teach you so much. And I think that's a beautiful thing. But for autistic people, there's so much that you can gain. If you're open to just being, there's so much more you can gain from that experience. It's really interesting. My God. So I guess like one of the last things that I wanted to to chat about is, you know, if, you know, people are watching us and, you know, thinking to themselves like, even if they're just young, you know, they're in their early 20s, mid 20s. And they're kind of like, hmm, I don't I don't know about this whole being apparent thing. But they kind of have an inkling that it's something that they might want, they might want to do in the future. What kind of advice would you give to those autistic people wanting to start a family? OK, so what I did is I did the Lamar's classes, you know, like, you know, like prenatal classes. So you can go and sit in it like what do you expect a birth? What do you expect? Like you can go to and you can even actually have a walk around the the the midwifery unit in the local hospital. That's kind of cool. Those things are super important because what you want to do is you want to know what the experience is like. And that's what I wanted. So I set myself up for the Lamar's classes straight away. Also, there's actually extra help. So if you're if you're on the spectrum and you're, you know, you have family planning in mind, then you can actually have there's like a course you can go on that prepares you for through your through your local health board. You can just say to them, you say to the midwives and the care team, you say, look, I've got just some leads and what are the helps available? And they just throw help you do. Like and what they do is they come to the house and you go through. Like we had this that. So, yeah, this is something really important, actually. We had a like a trainer come to the house and she would sit down with us every week and we'd have like a course book and we'd go through it and it'd be like, if you're in this situation, this is what happens. And it was really good because it was like, you know, like simple things kind of. Yeah, you know, like bands do this. Yeah, like and it's it was it was algorithmic, you know. And but it was logical. So like rather than like one thing was like, if your kid is screaming, you know, don't scream back, it's not going to get you anywhere. Sit down and give them a hug or or tell them validate their feelings. Or, you know, and it's just like, oh, shoot, you know, and stuff that you think like, holy smokes, like, but the stuff that people would kind of come to eventually because they are, you know, they're not everybody's on the autism spectrum, right? So it's not just black and white people. So people would go all around the way and they'd find out that. But if but for us, it's like, you know, I'd be like, OK, kids broken, take it back, you know, like, but but they teach you all these things. And that was really cool. And all that is available. You just have to ask for it. And the other thing I would do is I would spend time around people with children, but don't look at how the parents are dealing with it, because every parent is different. Look at how the children react to life, because that really gives you because a lot of people do this mistake. They they look at people parenting and try and see what they would be like as parents, but you're looking at somebody else's life. You know, that's yeah, or somebody else is a person. You never look at them and think, how do they eat their dinner? You know, I suppose as well, like if you have, for example, if you were around at someone's house, you know, you're in their house, you're in the vicinity, and it's not always going to be the same if it was them, their kids, and you come into kind of hang around with them. It's not not the same as just daily life, kind of. Exactly. It's not it's not just like, you know, the bed time routine or whatever it's completely different. Right. But the thing is you want to look at, you want to see how kids react to things and kids are so funny. They're just like little tiny people who know nothing about the world. So they just rely on you for everything they just need to know. And and that's cool because you get to tell them honest truths and you know, you shout on them from some things. But like, but it's good because it prepares you that prepares you because that's the stuff that people don't tell you. You know, like I think the hardest thing about parenting, though, the hardest part or the portion of it is the initial, like, you know, you've had a you've had a kid and you go home. And then and now what? You know, like, then you're responsible for this. Yeah, this little delicate human creature. I mean, it's crazy. So the best way. Yeah. So we like I said, you know, the whole prepping thing. We bought like a prep machine so that we can make bottles exactly precisely at any time of day. We we made sure we had everything we needed so that there was never an ambiguity of like, oh, we don't have this thing and the baby Christ, you know what I mean? My son actually had a severe reflux, which sounds just like a reflux. Yeah, that's the reflux. And it was just absolutely horrendous. I mean, I never felt, you know, anything like it for a kid. Like, apparently, it's like it's like a heart attack for a kid. Like, that's what it feels like. And it's just like screaming in pain. And I said, burning your trachea. Bounce him up and down the whole time. And yeah. And he was admitted to hospital at eight weeks old and stuff like that. Like just crazy stuff. Like it was just, yeah, it was absolutely crazy. But, you know, we learnt loads from that. But, you know, even if he didn't have a reflux, it would still be a that that's like the most difficult part, because you're adapting to a new type. You've got a new person in the house. You know how you know how it is when you're like guests to stay over your house and you're like, you kind of get the ick because like the inside your space is like some random dude crawling into your bed. Right. That's what it feels like when you have a guest in your house, right? It's weird, isn't it? Yeah. And I used to feel really weird when guests like my friends just sleep over my house like when I when I was growing up, I was like, weird, I just want to go home. But like, it's my time to be alone, chill. Yeah, exactly. Like it's that kind of comfort zone. So you kind of have to adapt to having this little thing and you want it there in your comfort zone because it's part of you. Right. But you have to kind of adapt to like, shoot, you know, how are we doing it? But it's fun. You know, it's the hardest part, but it's fun. And this is the thing I'd say anything that's worth having should be hard work. You know, we don't we don't just get up every day and somebody gives us money. We work hard for our money. We, you know, we don't just get up every day and like life just happens. You know, we work hard at life. And so everything is hard work. And those things are rewarding, you know, nobody does. Nobody puts hard work in something and gets nothing out, you know, what that's that's not how thermodynamics works. You know, I mean, like it's anyway, you get it. I'm really surprised about the amount of support that's available. I mean, insane, insane amounts. It fills me with a lot of confidence, as I'll definitely say that. And I know that there are some different options that you can go for as far as education, which is, I think the main thing for me. Yeah. Yeah. But I know, I mean, I have a little. I like to call them a little prodigy. It's one of my mom's friends, daughter, who's who's on the autistic spectrum. And I help them sort of go through sort of pick up different traits to tell the occupational therapist, you know, about the awesome man. And I guess sort of do some stuff to kind of work on on the confidence, you know, kids at that age are around about 10 years old. Yeah, they tend to struggle with the the environments and stuff, and especially at school, like, you know, if they've had like a long break and then they come back and. So I kind of I do have experience of it. I think it's just it's. It's just it's a very, very. Small, but big leap at the same time, like you can have a child if you want to. And but looking after a child, it's another thing. Like, yeah, you know, the thing about getting back to the support stuff, though, is that you have a health visitors as well, right? And the health visitors are there like you can phone them any time. And even the midwives, you can phone them any time. Be like, dude, I need some help. Like, I have no idea what I'm doing. And like the health visitors, they come and visit you every week. You know, you just had a baby in the lunch. Like, could you baby? See you later. They're like a few days. Like, you know, that's why I thought that's what I thought when I was thinking about it. So it's why I was, you know, so keen to chat to you about it. Because it's yeah, no, they, they, they, you know, and and so the mid and the midwife team and the, the, the, um, uh, the, uh, what did I just say? What did I call them at the, the, uh, the health visitors, they know that you, they know that you have issues because you put it down and you're kind of like your, your pregnancy planning. And so they, they always, they love like, how are you doing? You know what I mean? Like, do you need any help in it? And so I was like, oh yeah. And that's how I kind of got into that course, the, the post course about like children learning and all that kind of stuff and how do you deal with home life and things. Um, I think they still have the book somewhere, man. Like it's amazing. Like they just, and it was so good. And they check in and they'd be like, can you complete the sheet by next week? I'm like, yeah, I'm not sure, but you never did because like, you know, you've like, zombied out for the first kind of like a couple of months when you have a kid and you're like, oh, what day is it? Like, wake up at 4am. Concent. Like a kid wants to wake up every couple of hours for feeding when they're super tiny. And it's just, I mean, it doesn't last forever. I mean, it's tiny, you know, it's like a blip in the, in the reality of life. It's like this little tiny like, um, moment that you go, oh, God, I remember being up all night constantly for like a month. And they're like, oh yeah, it feels like forever at the time. But then you look back, geez, that was four years ago, man. You know what I mean? And like, it's just, it's like, wow, that didn't last long. Really did it. And it's, it's cool. It's a good thing. So. So it's been really, really, really, really good to talk to you again, Dan. And, um, I can tell you that it has filled me with, with quite a bit of confidence actually about becoming an awesome parent, you know, having all this, you know, the possibility of support in place and different options. And as far as education, I think it's, it's, it's definitely something worth considering very, um, seriously. Like it's not just a, you know, just a, well, I want to be a parent. It's, um, I think it's, I like that there's all that prep in place. And yeah, I mean, obviously there are going to be challenges and different challenges depending on whether they're autistic or not. But yeah, it's, um, really, really interesting to, uh, to hear your thoughts on it. Cool. So before we sort of end the episode, do you have any links that you want, want me to share about? Yeah. I mean, like, if you just, like, it's super simple. If you want to follow me on any social media platform, I mean, literally mean anyone, it's just at the ASP world. So T-H-E-A-S-P-I-E-W-O-I-L-D with the symbol before it. Um, and you can find me on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, uh, V-E-R-O, everything, uh, and yeah, all of them, every single one. Get on it, man. And we upload videos. Oh, we also got a podcast and a blog. So yeah, I upload videos every single day. Yeah. So yeah, we do, we do a ton of stuff and I love it. And if you like this episode, make sure to go over to the ASP world podcast because, um, we, we did an episode of a little while ago, didn't we? Yeah. A short one, 20 minutes. Um, that one is, that one's only available for my public, sorry, my private community at the moment, but there is an edited version of it coming out in the next month or so. Very cool. Very cool. So thank you very much for everyone listening in. Uh, we're going to go through a bit of a song of the day. Dan, what is your song of the day? That was, that was an awful, that was an awful introduction to the segment. Um, but basically, uh, what's your song and, uh, why do you like it? Cool. There you go. This song is called Charlie be quiet by Charlie Puth and, uh, or Charlie Puth and it's only just come out, but the reason I like it is because, um, Charlie Puth definitely has ADHD and I'd say he's on the spectrum as well because he has perfect pitch. Uh, very interesting guy. He's a YouTuber as well, but he, uh, did the song called Charlie be quiet and it's kind of like a story about people telling us to be quiet. Um, you have to lower the tone, which I find very relatable because I'm very loud and the ADHD makes me go like all day. So it's a good song and it's great. It's a great song. It's a great song right here. Cool. Very nice. I will add that to playlist, which is always down at the bottom of the description, uh, Charlie be quiet by Charlie Puth, Puth, Puth. Okay. I think you have pronunciations important. It is, it is Charlie Puth. I said, I kept saying Charlie Puth and then I heard him say Charlie Puth. And I was like, Oh man, that's how you say your name. It's like, I'm pretty sure he knows that say his own name, man. Dang it. Yeah. So yeah, that's funny. Well, um, of course, if you enjoyed this episode and you want to see more, make sure to, if you're on a podcasting service, Spotify, Apple podcast, Google, make sure to give us a rating. Very much appreciated. Preferably the five star variety. Um, if you could be so kind. It's like Uber. We give you a ride. You give us a five star, right? Yeah. Five star and some, some cold out cash. Yeah, buddy. Lightweight. Oh man. I love it. So yeah, um, if you want to catch up on the podcast, make sure to check out the YouTube channel, Thomas Hanley, uh, links always in the description podcast available on pretty much all podcast streaming services. And if you want to keep up to date with my life, how things are going, the work that I'm doing, head over to Instagram or pretty much any social media platforms, but primarily Instagram, which is at Thomas Hanley UK. And yeah, uh, I hope you guys are doing well. And, um, it's been really, really, really great to talk to you, Dan. And I hope you guys have a very, very lovely day. See you later, folks. Peace. Peace. Peace.