 Yeah, good evening friends. And in the journey of beyond law CLC, it has always been fascinating. And the baby steps we feel are taking the converting into the giant steps at the journey and the intent with which this entire process of beyond law CLC was germinated with a concept that we could go and talk beyond law. And while we are talking about beyond law, the topics like today are a journey and steps towards that wherein we can talk about the short skills and how you can improve the different aspects of today's topic of secret of self confidence is also an attempt and a process towards that. Amongst us, we have, I'm sorry, I have a bad throat, CA Amar Agarwala, who is not only an advocate, lawyer, chartered accountant, CS MBA, when I received the professional qualifications of Mr. Amar Agarwala, I thought probably he had not just done the MBBS and engineering. The rest of all the forties he has done, which it could have been done. And probably that is one of the reasons that the journey of self confidence oozes out and to say that just like a cricketer was a good baller or a good cricketer. One he has knowledge that oozes more confidence and self confidence is self acclimation towards that journey. But is it simplicity, a self belief of self confidence, or as they say, that you have to have knowledge. I'm just reminded that they say that empty vessels make more noise. And the more the occupied knowledge, the more occupied the space it is, it is less. And when I was talking before connecting on the session, he said that his hallmark is to join the session or a webinar or a seminar much prior in time. His entire belief is that time is more like a gas which occupies the space and the vessel which would like to give it. Since people would like to hear Mr. Agarwala, I shouldn't become a standing wall within it, rather I should become a bridge so that Mr. Agarwala takes over just like a marathon. But we believe that from the silver linings it would turn into the gold because he's well known for his oratory, his knowledge, a poet, an author, and so on and on. As a book, always you see, you find that written in its PTO, that is please turn over. So his knowledge and his professional qualification is just like that. You have to just keep on turning pages and you will always embark upon the new processes and mindsets over to that. Over to you sir. Thank you so much Vikash. And Namaskar. Good evening everybody. Warm greetings from the city of Kolkata. It's also called the city of joy. And one of the reasons which connects this theme, the city of joy to this month, this month of September, is that September is a very special month. Very special in the sense that September plays the prelude to the Durga Puja celebrations, which happens to be the grandest, the most pious, the most spirited, the biggest street festival to be held in this country and anywhere in the world. In fact, what makes this month of September all the more special this year is because in December 2021, Kolkata was given the heritage status, I mean Durga Puja celebrations of Kolkata by UNESCO. So, you know, this year the celebrations are all the more special because of that. And this is the time when the city and the state of West Bengal, you know, it comes alive. It's spirit with a lot of piety, with of course, needless to say a lot of holidays. And there are many days in this month of September, which is prelude to Durga Puja, which starts in October, which are very, very auspicious. Like today, 17th of September also happens to be Isha Karmapuja. And I am not sure how many people would be aware of it but, you know, people who are skilled craftsmen, artisans, engineers, you know, people who work with their hands, you know, skillful people. They are all devotees of Vishakarma because he is supposed to be the one who creates. So, you know, today is Vishakarmapuja's day of creation. And, you know, when we talk about creation, when we talk about skills, when we talk about such kind of gadgets, we cannot leave out machines because, you know, we live in a machine world. I mean, today we live with machines and gadgets and I think that is man's, one of the foremost creations of mankind has been machines and gadgets and, you know, considering that the machines hold sway over everything in the kind of world we live in today. And we have to understand that in this era of information technology where you and me live, there is something which is very significant and that is data. You must be wondering that I am starting this topic with machines and data, but you will find the deep connect. You see, you know, data runs the world today and processing data is the same thing. And let me start with some small statistics, you know, again, being a teacher for many, many years, I always have students in my mind and I think every one of us is a student, no matter how old we are. And you know, when we talk about our country and we talk about a certain statistics, which is again, deeply linked with data, you know, at any point of time in our country, there are 250 million students studying anywhere, whether it's in school or it's in college or any other part, any university. Now, an astonishing fact is out of the 250 million who study in these schools and colleges and universities about, you know, about 50 million, they drop out. They drop out in the primary and secondary stage so they don't go in for further studies. Others drop out after the primary and secondary stage and the most astonishing part is that only about 20 million, they go in for probably graduation for higher studies. Maybe they study law or they study charted accountancy in commerce because, you know, since I'm from commerce. And out of the 20 million who study these kind of advanced and premium courses in commerce, probably only a quarter of a million attempt such premium education courses and every small percentile pass. Now, what is important for us to understand is this small percentile who are passing are very special, they're very privileged. And not only are they very special and very privileged, but the fact remains that the owners of the youth to a great measure lies on these shoulders because these are educated, highly educated boys and girls who have to carry the mantle of this country forward. And, you know, you have to understand that not only are these people premium educated, but, you know, with premium education, you know, comes a lot of power. And we have to understand that with a lot of power comes a lot of responsibility, they say, you know, as in that famous line in the movie Spider-Man that with great powers comes great responsibility. So, you know, these highly educated children need to be very, very responsible to the society. But while they are responsible to the society, what is very important is they need to be responsible to themselves. The first thing is, you know, I mean, if you ever, if you think about the fact that when we're traveling in airplane and when the air hostess is giving the preliminary instructions, she says that before you put on the oxygen mask in case that the mask drop down upon yourself or you wear it yourself, you please, you know, wear it to your neighbor or somebody. I mean, before you wear it to your neighbor, I'm so sorry, you wear it yourself. So we need to, you know, first be responsible to ourselves before we be responsible to somebody else. Now, what is responsibility? See, we have to understand that, you know, when we do special things in life and when young children do special things in life, to a great measure, it's the parents who are catalysts. They are the ones who really push the children to do well in their lives. So, you know, they are special. You have special children because parents are special. And I personally believe that children are special because mothers are very, very special. I mean, today, they are great careers all over the world and they're great careers because somewhere there's a great mother who's standing, you know, quietly like a mountain, like a pillar pushing this. And, you know, when I talk about parents, why is it so important is because, you know, when we talk about responsibility and, you know, we talk about education, which ultimately go on somewhere to enhance self-confidence. We have to understand that, you know, confidence is not about getting great education, getting premium education. Confidence is not just about knowing and doing something very well or effectively. You know, confidence is to a great measure when we do things and achieve things, you know, which in certain ways also enhance the regard, repetition, thought process of our parents, our families, our peer groups. You know, they all linked, you know, a special person does special things not only for himself. I mean, only when you do special things for others does that make you special. So, you know, the same thing about confidence is not about I am very educated. So I am very confident, but my education brings a lot of honor and respect and glory to my parents. Right. Now we have to understand something that the best certificates and degrees, the best ones are not given by school, college or university, which is a lot of people think that, no, it's not. You know, the best certificate is not given by school, university or a college, it's given by life. You know, the normal certificates which you and me get, I mean, you can touch them, you can feel them, you can frame them, laminate them, put them on a wall, you know, but the certificate's life gives you. You cannot laminate them, you cannot frame them. You cannot put them on a wall, mount it and show people. I mean, you know, when we do well, when we do something special, you can imagine that, you know, what kind of respect and regard and honor and joy brings to our families. They come up in their levels, which is what self-confidence is all about. I mean, you know, you're walking the street and you see a blind man crossing, not trying to, you know, not managing really with the traffic. And you are in great hurry because everybody's in a hurry nowadays, but you still take those two minutes to help him cross the road. Or maybe you see an old lady with a huge bag and she's struggling with it and you just help her on, you get a certificate from life. And it's these certificates which bring self-confidence. It's not, you know, what a lot of people feel that, you know, I know something really well or I understand things well, I do things very effectively and that makes me self-confident. Well, that's not the best one. Now, you know, coming back to the fact about the responsibility part that, you know, I mean, there are two words today. One is the confidence part, which I just spoke about and the secret part. You know, I think, you know, when you say the secrets of self-confidence is hype, you know, and, you know, human beings are naturally attracted to the word secret. They're very curious. The secret, okay, what is this? But, you know, honestly speaking, this is no secret. I mean, you have videos, you've got YouTube channels, you've got motivational talks and you've got every kind of thing possible around you. Probably you get a hundred different things on WhatsApp, which tells you everything about self-confidence. So it's not a secret, but secret is just a hype because, you know, the moment the word comes out, people are very interested and more so people are always interested in other people's secrets. I suppose, you know, that's the normal human tendency. You want to know what is someone else's secret about maybe doing well, maybe achieving something, maybe getting some recognition. What is that secret? So, you know, I'm not going to share any great secret with you, but I'm going to tell you things which probably are all around us, but we kind of don't give that kind of an importance to it. So, you know, today's topic is not about giving a great secret, it's about telling you certain things which we really don't give any importance to. You know, like I was telling because a short while ago that, you know, the human mind is such that it's like a pendulum, you know, it's going from the past to the future, future to the past, it's never there in the present. So, you know, since our mind's not there in the present, you know, we ignore a lot of things which is all around us at the moment. We're always, you know, either fast-forwarding or probably going back. So we don't really get to see the things we really need to see. Now, the first thing which I would like to tell you is, you know, when we talk about self-confidence and the secrets of self-confidence, you know, a lot of people mistake this self-confidence in the sense that they link it to something. I mean, let's assume that a person is very highly qualified, you know, premium qualification. Maybe he's from commerce, science arts, from any field, very highly qualified. To a great measure, you know, such a person, vis-à-vis another person who's not very highly qualified or not qualified at all, probably, feels something really good, feels a little elevated in status, feels very nice. Why? Because he's qualified and that qualification kind of tantamounts to his confidence. But here I have something very important to say. I mean, see, I have professional qualifications myself and once upon a time when probably, you know, I had qualifications but no sense. I used to feel that, you know, being a chartered accountant or a company secretary in MBA and having it there on your card is something amazing. But, you know, as I grew older, you know, that's how it is with human beings. You know, wisdom comes with age. You may be very qualified at a young age and you may think no end of himself, that's perfectly all right. But wisdom will only come with age. There's something called experience and life gives you those certificates which really makes you wise. A university or a college teaches you a lot of things but wisdom comes only with time. So the same thing happened with me, I was no different to it. And what I learned was that, you know, these, the huge qualifications which are backing me up, that was not the thing which was making me confident. It was something else. And here I have a story to tell. You see, being a story teller, I must link things with stories so that way you'll remember it very well. You know, I'm going to tell you about the Great Wall of China. You know, see, the Great Wall of China is a very, very special edifice. It's a very special monument. Why? Because, you know, the Great Wall of China was supposedly once upon a time 21,000 kilometers long. You can very well imagine. Of course, now it's not that long. It's broken down now with time and age. 21,000 kilometers long and this wall was, it started being built in around 220 BC. And, you know, after that about seven, eight dynasties of kings in China went on building it. So, you know, it was built over a period of almost 2,000 years and the man who started building it was a Chinese king those days. He was Qin Shi Huang. He was the man who started building the Great Wall. And the purpose of building the Great Wall was one. One was to unify China. It was, you know, divided into many territories and in regions and also they wanted it to be unified. And they wanted, most of all, it to be protected from outsiders, especially, you know, warring tribes, especially the Mongols, those kind of people. That was the Great Wall of China was made to protect that. Now, despite of this great structure being made to protect the whole of China, it was invaded numerous times. And, you know, they were petrified of the Mongols and the first Mongol broken through the Great Wall of China was Chengi Skal. Who was a dreaded Mongol if you've heard about it. So, why did that happen? Why is it that such a strong wall and again, not just the wall fortified their towers in between watchtowers which were full of soldiers and those kind of artillery and equipment to protect. So, it was not just the wall. It was even soldiers sitting on, standing on top, protecting the wall. Now, why, despite of such kind of fortification which is unheard of in history, you know, Great Wall of China is the only man made feature which is visible from outer space. You can very well imagine the gigantic mammoth structure which man has made. Now, why, despite of this fortification, it failed. It failed. Why? One very important reason is because of human fallibility. The soldiers who were on top, they were not competent. They couldn't protect the wall. Too many times because of greed and other factors, they themselves opened the gates so that the enemy could come in. And at certain times, they themselves, you know, dropped down ladders and other kind of things, the enemy could come in. So, despite of all that structure, the gigantic strong fortification, it failed because the people behind the show were not for the matter. And that is the reason why despite of the Great Wall being made, China was embedded numerous times. The same about the qualifications. You have the world space qualification, but that has to be backed by a strong personality. It must have personal characteristics. It must have, you know, those kind of elements which should be there within the person who carries those qualifications for those qualifications to take real effect. So, you know, let us not equate. This is just an example. Let us not equate self confidence with any particular thing. You know, you may have a fantastic build. Very strong. You may still not be self confident. You may have great qualifications. I mean, I know the most qualified people to be the most nervous people. You know, when especially, you know, when they're probably going for an interview or they're going for, you know, any kind of a public speech or something that they're terribly nervous. The most qualified, the strongest, etc., etc. Are, I mean, they have this, this strange notion that it's this which gives us, gives us self confidence. That's not so. You know, so, you know, let me elaborate it in a way that you and me can understand. See, we can go to numerous classrooms, you can go for numerous lectures. It's nice when we hear lectures about motivation, inspiration, confidence. Everyone feels good. And, you know, the speakers, you know, they pepper it with things and stories and inferences that feels good for a while you get motivated and the motivation is gone. You know, we can, as I said, that we live in a machine world and people are charging their equipments and their mobiles and laptops much more than they charge themselves, which is not a great idea, but then that's how the world runs nowadays. So what I, what I want to tell you is, you know, when we, when we talk about self confidence, we have to, we have to understand that, you know, we need to, we need to do a few things. Just, just listening to lectures, as I said, or listening to sermons or going for a class or some motivational thing. That is not going to help everyone goes for that. And there are numerous such lectures and all which are all on YouTube. But somehow the self confidence fact is not there. The reason is because, you know, it's not about listening. We listen a lot. We hear, we see, but the fact remains, we don't practice. I mean, a child is told in a, in a, in a personality development class that, you know what, you need to be standing in front of the mirror and talking. You need to be, you know, you know, expressing yourself, and that is going to improve your self confidence, that's going to improve your communication abilities, that's going to improve your stage presence is all fine. It's all fine. But the fact is, would that child be doing it more than once or even once? You wouldn't do it. I mean, today we listen to a lot of good things, but where do we practice it? There's no practice. I mean, I'm sure that you all have heard wonderful things, much more wonderful than what I can possibly even think about saying today. But the fact remains that after a while, it's like a snake ladder. You go up, when you're motivated, you know, you climb up the stake ladder and 98, there's a big python about to, you know, just follow you. When you come down. So life is like that. So, you know, let me just discuss a few things about self confidence, which we all know about, but, you know, we don't practice it. And, you know, mankind has become such that, you know, we are always suspicious of everything around us. It's so hard for us to believe it. And the first thing about self confidence, which I want to tell you is about belief. And the word which I'm going to use over here for self confidence is faith. And faith is a strong belief that no, something is going to happen. See, there are a lot of things around us happening, a lot of good things also. Unfortunately, the media and news and everything else is projecting everything in a very bad and a very negative like the good things happening in the world too. No one was talking about those things because, you know, nothing in our country, nothing sells like bad news. Two things are sold, sorrow and fear, and people buy it astonishingly, but that's the sad truth. So, you know, when we talk about faith, it's about a certain belief and, you know, man has become so suspicious by nature, unfortunately, because of the negativity in the environment. So suspicious that even probably if God was sitting beside you, you probably pinch God to see if it's really God or something else. The suspicion has gone to that level. So, you know, when certain things happen in our life, or when we are confronted with certain things, it's not necessary that it's bad or it's negative, it can be something good. So we need to believe certain things. At least we need to believe certain good things in our life that, okay, if awkward things can happen, even good things can happen. So this, you know, I'm going to tell you a story which kind of, you know, it resonates this fact. The story is, you know, somewhere in the heartland of India in a small village, the people were really suffering because there were no rains that was dropped for many years. And because the drought, what happened was that the rivers were drying, the ponds were drying, the water bodies were drying, cattle were dying every day, and people were on the brink of starvation. Things were really really bad and the villagers were at the teethers end, did not know what to do. And that's the time when someone came and told the village headman, in India you call them Mukhiya. Someone came and informed the Mukhiya that, you know, there's a God man, there's a very holy man who has come to visit the neighboring village. So would you want to go and visit that man? Maybe, you know, he might be able to help you in Avalon because you need some divine intervention. So the headman thought it's a good idea, so he along with some villagers, he went to the other village and they begged and pleaded with the holy man that if you could please help us. We are in the brink of starvation and we are in a very bad condition. The holy man agreed to come. So on a certain appointed day, he came and he saw the things around, he understood, then he said, okay, I'm going to do some small ritual over here. When the ritual is done, I'm going to give you a particular date and time. At that date and time, be sure that your problems will be alleviated. I mean, there will be things. Anyway, he finished the ritual and he left. And on that appointed date and time, the villagers remembering that what the holy man had said, they came out of the houses in big groups and they stood at the fields. They stood near the river and, you know, astonishingly, there were some dark clouds in the horizon. So they were all anticipating now that the holy man had said, be sure that it's going to rain. In this huge crowd, only one little boy, a small boy who used to live in the village, he carried a small umbrella with him. In the hundreds of people who were accumulated over there, only this little boy had faith. The holy man had said, he's a really saintly man. If he has said it for sure, it's going to rain. If he's going to rain, let me take an umbrella. I must protect myself. So he was the only one who really had faith that the rest were curious. There's a big difference. It's so surprising. We believe in our 100,000 gods and goddesses, saints, facades, goddesses, whatnot. But we literally have no faith. And most importantly in ourselves, that if we have come this far in life, if you and me are here now, I mean, all of us combined, we all have a certain average age, 30, 40, 50 maybe. And we have lived through these number of years. We're going to go further. You imagine in the pandemic in the last two and a half, three years, there are probably hundreds and thousands of people like you and me who haven't been able to pass the pandemic. They all passed away. So there's something special about you and me. Obviously, the reason why we are alive is because we have things to be done, which will take us forward. So in the first thing about self-confidence, we must have faith. Forget about faith in another. If we have some faith in ourselves that if we've reached here, we're going to go far. I mean, luck is not going to abandon us and walk away. Okay, you've come till here. Thank you very much. I'm going. That's not going to happen. But that's what a lot of people feel. You know, especially I see young qualified boys when they qualify. Maybe they qualify for engineering or they've qualified CA or CAS or something. And then they are at the teacher's end. My God, what's going to happen? Will I get a job? I think if you've come so far, of course, you're going to get a job. I haven't seen a single CAS or an MBA or whoever sitting at home and hatching eggs. They all are working. I mean, where is the faith gone? So that's the first thing which I wanted to speak about. And the next thing which I want to speak about is something very, very important. And that word is called fear. Now, we all know what is fear. Now, fear is again a feeling. You feel hot. You feel cold. You feel tired. You feel fear. It's a feeling. But unfortunately, what happens is the way we can deal with the other emotions or the other requirements, the other elements, we don't deal with the fear as anything near that. I mean, fear builds in us from childhood, brick by brick, brick by brick until it's a huge palace and we're all living inside it. And we love living inside it for whatever reason. And the environment around it is such, it compels us to live inside. As long as you are fearful, things are fine. Things are fine for probably everyone because that is one psychosis which you know during COVID. I mean, some people died. Some people probably died in the living rooms looking at the news going on. So fear is something which is a very common phenomenon. And the fact remains that we have to understand when we spoke about data that if we really take a look at data and we take a look at the things which we are scared of, it's human. You will feel fear. It's all that you cannot feel. Of course you're going to feel fear, but you need to have that gain, that fear that we're going to go beyond it. And it's fine with an ad. It's a symbol of fear. We never use it in our lives. Today 95% of the things we are worried about, it's not going to happen. Out of the 100 things, 95 things won't happen. And the 5% which happens, probably happens because we are attracted. Because day and night you are thinking, God knows what is going to happen. I am not going to get a job, my daughter is not going to get a good match, we won't find a good house. So that 5% which happens, the fear is because you bring it. We are attracted by a law of attraction. Whatever we think day and night, whatever we imagine day and night is bound to come to be, it has to manifest. So fear is one very important factor which erodes the self-confidence completely. I find that very educated people are fearful and the ones who are not educated textually. Because nobody is illiterate in this world. Unfortunately a lot of people feel there is illiteracy. Nobody is illiterate. Literacy is of two kinds, text-literate, skill-literate. I mean if somebody is a Riksha, he is making a living running a Riksha or maybe a cobbler. He doesn't know to read and write, but he is skill-literate. How dare somebody calls him illiterate. So he is not illiterate, he is text-literate, he is educated. Akshar knows or he is skill-literate. So the literate ones are the most scared. The ones who are semi-literate or not literate, they are probably much more sure about life. Probably they understand that the psychosis of fear is better than a literate person. So another story over here which comes to mind and the story is about a great monk who we have probably all heard about. He is no lesser than a man called Swami Vivekananda and then what happened was once upon a time he had gone to Varanasi and he was walking the banks of the Ganges and he had a small cloth bag on his side which had a few of his belongings. So while he was walking, it was getting a little dark and he suddenly found that a huge group of monkeys were walking behind him. And of course they were eyeing the bag because monkeys always look for food and they had this impression that maybe there is something eatable inside this cloth bag. And seeing so many monkeys following him, he got a little unnerved and he was walking faster and the monkeys were also going faster and he started running because he was a little over-ordered. The monkeys were chasing him to imagine how a man can outrun a monkey. And that's a time when from somewhere maybe some sattu, some saint, some great man was meditating in some corner and when he saw that sight that man only used two words, face them. Vivekananda heard it. He stopped in his tracks, he stopped running, he stood his ground, turned around and he stayed at the monkeys. He looked at them and unbelievably the monkey shied away. And that is the nature of here. You have to face it. You got to stop at a track, turn around and look at it at his eyes. Nothing is as good or as bad as it seems on first sight. You always imagine fear to be much bigger than what it really is. So we need to face them and that is the other element or a platform which enables us to be a little more confident because as you face a fear, you deal with it and you overpower it, you're more confident. Life gives you one more certificate and the certificates add. So fearlessness is a very important element of self-confidence. And the next one which I'm going to tell you again is probably an offshoot of this. And again, since I was talking about Swami Vivekananda, I'll take another leaf from his work and it's his word and he says that I may not be handsome but I can always give my hand to some. He meant that we can all be of some use to someone and I think that is the greatest of things. When you are of use to others and they benefit, you benefit too. The rule of the cosmos is very, very simple. What you give, you get back. I mean, science has it. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I'm from commerce and we've been taught that every debit has an equal and corresponding credit. It's a given take. And when I'm talking about given take, I have to tell you that long ago when I finished my school, I had very poor marks and my teachers met my mother and said that we don't have much hope of this boy who's got such poor marks. And not knowing what to do after class 10, since everybody is joining college, I also joined college. I got into college with great difficulty because marks were equally pathetic. And I was looking for a good teacher. When someone recommended me a teacher, he was a mad professor who I was told doesn't take money. So he didn't take any money from me. And I thought that he's going to teach me. And when I went to him, he was very rude and difficult. And instead of teaching, he put me in charge of two boys who were in junior school. Both were in a pathetic state. Both were failures. They were failing repeatedly and they were terrible. So he said that I want you to bring them up. I want you to improve them so they remain in school. Otherwise, they'll get transfer certificates. Initially, I was very taken aback and I was very upset because I myself was in a bad state. And this mad professor was putting me in touch of two children who were way, way worse. And I did not know who I'd never taught in my life. I was hardly in class 11 myself. But over the years, I realized that what that man had taught me, they say that teacher impacts infinity. Teaching those two children, it really helped me to discover the real me because in teaching them, I improved myself. And over the years, the number of students grew, my qualifications grew. And many, many years later, when my first book was released and my school teachers were brought on stage with my mother, they just stared at me and they said, my mother said that we don't believe it's this boy with so many qualifications. How is it possible? It's no miracle. I became brilliant or something, nothing like that at all. What I gave, what I tried to teach, it just came back to me. That's it. It just came back. That's the rule of the cosmos. The world has become such a selfish space. People are only interested in getting. They want, not realizing that you will get everything, but you need to give. So, to give your hand to some. And when you get it back, you don't only get that back, you get much more in return. And what you get is self-confidence. I have taught for many, many years. And I realized that in teaching others, I have learned much more. My students, children, they have taught me things which I thought I knew, but I did not. So, giving a hand to some is a very big element. And we forget that. I have something else to tell you. One of the very important reasons why self-confidence erodes is when we compare ourselves to someone else. And there is, you know, in the society, there's comparison. I can understand. Not that parents are alienating, but sometimes parents compare their own children. Your brother is doing so well, your sister is doing so well. When I was small, I would see in my family, my cousin is doing well, and somebody is doing engineering, and I used to feel very small. My God. And then somebody would come and look at your brother. How good he is. What are you doing? You should be like him. So, that kind of thing. You know, the comparison is very common. And then we grow up with that thought process. We compare X to Y ourselves to somebody. So, you know, neighbors are comparing their financial status. Children are comparing their marks. And parents are comparing their achievements to YZ. So, this game of comparison goes on. And it's a very bad idea. See, each of us is unique. We are different in our own ways. This comparison business is bad. I mean, Barack Obama became the US President in 1948. And Donald Trump probably became a US President probably in his late 60s. I think Biden is nearing his 80 years. So, they've all been President signed. How does it matter? Everybody's got a different timeline. So, this comparison business is a very bad one. You must stop it. Because that is certainly going to erode yourself. Because there will be somebody doing better than you financially or otherwise or in whichever way. You think it's better. How do you know? You're not in that person's shoe. So, this comparison business is a tragic business. And it happens too much in the society. And it gets ingrained in us. We keep doing it. And we make things worse. Now, here again, I have another story to tell you. And the story is about a little boy. Now, one day this little boy, he runs up to his mother and says, Mama, want to ask you something? Mother said, yes, my son, tell me what? He said, can you tell me what I'm really worth? What was I taking back? I'm such a small boy. He said that, she said that, okay. Why is it that you ask me this question? He said, no, I'm very keen to know because I have been asking myself this question. I don't have an answer. So after a lot of thought, the mother said, okay, I'm going to give you an answer. And, you know, she went into one of our rooms and she opened a cupboard and she took out something and she gave it to the boy. What she gave him was a little bit of crystal. It's a small piece of crystal, a beautiful piece of crystal. And she said, why don't you just go and meet your friends or whoever you find and just ask them what is the value of this question? Go ask them. When you come back with the answers, I'm going to tell you what you're worth. The little boy took that. And very excitedly, he ran to his friend, a young girl called Mary and he said, Mary, this crystal, you see how, and she saw it. She said, yeah, it's very beautiful. Mary can tell what could be the worth of this crystal. She said, well, it looks expensive. Maybe $20, $30 maybe. So he got one answer then he ran to his neighborhood uncle who used to, you know, go for a walk and he would see him every day. I said, uncle, can you see this? Can you just tell me what this could be worth? So the uncle also took a look and he said, well, it looks good. Maybe who knows? Maybe $100. When did you go and ask the museum guy who, you know, who stays in the neighborhood? So there was a museum in the neighborhood. So he went and asked the museum keeper that what could be and he gave another word and he spent the whole day asking and everybody was giving a different price for it. Now, by the time he came back home in the evening, he was a little confused with his mother. Look, I don't know what everybody's going to give me a different answer. Isn't that exactly what I want to tell you? People will assign you, give you different, different words as per what they think you're worth to them, but your real worth, your priceless. So we all are priceless. Doesn't matter what the society assigns us as what they think is a word. That's not our true worth. If people elevate you very high, maybe your worth is different. If people put you right down, that's not your, that's not your worth. So don't be bothered about what people think about what is your worth. You must always consider that I'm unique and I'm very special and I'm going to be doing special things. And that is going to add to your self-confidence. Let's not go into that comparison business. It's a bad business. Okay. Very, very important in the society today because we live in a machine world, as I told you, that's why I mentioned machines and machines are not bothered about relationships. Machines don't care about relationships. They care about work and they care about time. So this is about relationship and how important it is for us to have meaningful relationships because meaningful relationships make us feel good about ourselves. And when you feel good about yourself, you probably are far more confident than what you're otherwise. If you're living alone and you really have no friends, no family, no nothing, the chances are that you're going to be very, very positive and motivated person doesn't see unless of course you're a money or a richie, you're meditating in the Himalayas, there's a different thing altogether. But living in a society, if you're living alone and you have no links or no contacts whatsoever with other humans, the chances that you might be pretty depressed. So it's very important that we have healthy relationships at home with our parents, whether it's the brothers and sisters, whether it is with our friends, especially with our friends and even networking other people, that gives us a lot of joy, that brings us a lot of satisfaction. It's a great satisfaction. I remember this, probably it's just a saying, it didn't really happen, but Outside in Operation Theoretic was written that, if you had to talk to your friends, you don't have to talk to them today. Had you spoken your hearts out with your friends, opened your hearts with your friends, then probably I wouldn't have had to open with a knife or a scalpel. So we fail to understand the value of relationships. Often we understand relationships when it's all gone. We understand the strength of a relationship and the person concerned is not there anymore. And I would say when I talk about relationships, I would also talk about relationships, people in our lives who were there, who used to love us, maybe family, friend, who are not there anymore. Even with them, there is a relationship. We have to understand something, friends that death ends a life. Death doesn't end relationships, sir. My grandmother is dead 15 years, but whenever I do something sometimes, and I think, my God, what would she have said? She would have not approved of it. Oh my God, she would have not liked it. My relationship with us continued because relationships will continue in the mind of the survivor. So that is the importance of relationships. So when you build good relationships, it is definitely going to add to your self-confidence. Undoubtedly, whether it is with your friend or whether it is a neighbor or whether anyone you meet, a good relationship doesn't mean you need to have a relationship where you are having interaction every day, but even if a chance meeting with somebody, the person should feel good in your company. Now, another story drill where relationships are concerned. Now, you know, it so happened that, you know, somewhere in Northwest America, there's a county called the Orange County. It was like a district where the Orange County is very famous for baseball championships. You know, like in India, cricket hockey is very famous. In America, baseball is considered to be a real big sport. So, you know, in the Orange County baseball championship was really famous, was really big. It was a grand affair and, you know, thousands and, and, and lots of people would watch it in the stadium. They would probably sit on television and listening to the commentary on that kind of thing. Now, this, this Orange County baseball championship was very special and the teams which used to play in the championship in the county, were also called by different colors, red, green, blue and all. And, you know, it was a known fact that the Blues were the best team because for quite a number of years, they were perpetually the champions. Now, I'm going to tell you about a particular year when the team which qualified opposite the Blue was the Red. They had never qualified and they were not considered to be one of the greatest of teams. But it was a surprise, you know, final like you see often in football and others. A surprise team comes in the finals. So, there was a surprise finalist The interesting thing is the exchange which happened in the dressing room on the day of the finals. You know, when the final was about to be held and the teams were getting ready, one of the members used to play for the Red, a boy called Jonathan. He was the smallest of the players in the Red, the youngest, tiny little fellow. And he was a very sweet boy. He had very good relations with everybody, including the coach. A wonderful relation, but unfortunately that season he didn't even get a single game to play. Everybody got a chance, but he was sitting in the bench always with, okay, I'm going to let you play. And, you know, it never happened. Now on the day of the final, he went to the coach and said, coach, today's the final game is the last game. Please, please allow me to play. Coach said, look, Jonathan, you're a good boy, you know, but Jonathan does the last game. I'm an old man. I'm out to retire. And, you know, I want to retire with the cup. It's my last hope. I want to put in the best team. You've been in the bench. You haven't played a single game. How can I take a chance? He said, coach, look, don't be unfair. The coach said, Jonathan, it's the final day. You can imagine the selectors and everybody else will be after me if anything goes wrong. The boy was begging and pleading the coach said, look, Jonathan, in the normal lineup, I cannot allow you. But yes, since you are pleading so much and you know, good, you're a good boy, if in case there's an injury, I might allow you some time. Jonathan didn't have a choice. After all, he was talking to the coach. So the game started. Jonathan was sitting in the bench and watching. And of course, by half time, as expected, the blues were winning, the reds were losing. And to make matters worse for it, the best player got injured. Jonathan went to the coach and said, you promised me, you're going to get me injury time. He said, the coach told Jonathan, look, I have some mercy on me. My best player is gone. I'm looking for a good replacement. I'm losing the game. What do you want? Jonathan said, but what if nobody else gets injured? I'm not going to get this, you know, this, this last chance where the coach was stuck by his word. He was, I mean, he didn't have a choice. He's saying, okay, fine. I promised you, I'm just going to give you 10, 15 minutes. Max, please don't go out and make me loser. For God's sake. Jonathan goes out to play. Jonathan plays a game. He plays a fantastic game. He plays so well, the coach does not withdraw him. He keeps playing well. And at the end, astonishingly, to everybody's, you know, great surprise, the reds win the cup by the narrowest margins. The spectators are stunned. The commentators are astonished. The selectors are flabbergasted. Who's this boy? Why didn't he play earlier? What has happened to the coach? Has he gone out of his mind? X, Y, Z, and you know, journalists, they're there everywhere. And especially when something wrong has been pointed out, they are there. They're the first ones to reach. And they were hammering the coach. What is this? Who's this boy? The coach called Jonathan and said, look, I have to ask for forgiveness. Jonathan, how could I be so blind? I did not see your talents. You have to forgive me because for you that I'm retiring with this cup, although I have not retired with this cup, for sure. Jonathan said, coach, please don't feel bad. I am grateful, utterly grateful, to play today. Because it was my last chance. Because I don't blame you because a lot of things about me you did not know. The coach said what? He said, you know, every time I would come to play a game over here, a man would come to me thinking I would play. The coach said, yes, I remember seeing this man who'd come with a hat and all. Who's this man? Jonathan said, coach, I never had a chance to introduce you, but he was my father. The coach said, but Jonathan, today's your big day. Shouldn't have your father come today? He said, coach, I did not even get a chance to tell you that a few weeks ago, my father passed away. Now, the coach was feeling very bad. He was feeling really, really disappointed and he was feeling very frustrated with himself. He said, Jonathan, what have I done? Had I allowed you to play earlier in earlier games, at least your father could have seen you play. He said, no, coach. Unfortunately, my father would have never seen me play. The coach said, why? He said, my father was blind. Now, the coach was feeling miserable. I said, my God, what have I done? He said, coach, thank you so much for allowing me to play today because today, wherever my father is, he's watching me play and I only play to show my father how well I can play. You only got a chance to play because you had a good relation with the coach and even his relationship with his dead father didn't end. Relationships don't end. You value relationships. You make good relationships. Your confidence is up. Forget about your qualifications. That's all humbug. People tell you, highly qualified, you're going to be this and you're going to be that. You've got to be human. That's very important. Unfortunately, the most qualified people are the most selfish people. Where are the human? I'm not categorizing. I'm not, please don't think that I'm criticizing anybody. Criticism is a career in a country. I don't want to make it a career. It's not a career for me. But a lot of qualified people, I find, they only think about themselves when I'm in meaningful relationships. I think the people who are not very qualified, not very educated are far more humble. And they make more meaningful relationships than the very smart ones. So relationships is so, so important for us. Time is running out. And I know Mikasa's clock is running very fast. So when I spoke about so many things, let me also tell you why is health so important? Guys, look, no matter what, no matter how qualified, how smart or what good relationships are, ultimately it's health. In Hindi, it's a very old saying, The first happiness is good health. And often, a lot of people, even youngsters neglect the health. Either they are studying or they are busy with their career. Okay, we'll do it later. Usually people start these walks and everything after a certain age. Even laughter clubs, I've seen young students of mine telling me, Sir, look at these middle-aged people. They raise their hands and laugh. Look at the age. If they laugh from time to time, they don't get old at all. I don't hear people laughing these days. Or they are laughing from a loud voice. I don't hear them. Earlier, people used to sing and sing. I don't find it. A lot of young health is connected with gyms. But being healthy is not only about exercising. It's about probably eating good food. It's probably laughing a lot. It's probably doing meaningful things physically. Because physical health is not that everything has been done by machines. Where is the need to move? The kind of bodies we've got, we need to work much, much more than what we do to have good health. That's why you have those things in your mobile, 10,000 steps and all that. We all need to work, walk, do these things much more. It's very important to have good health. And you're talking about good health. I just happen to remember this gentleman, his name. I think his name is Shekhar Gaud. Shekhar Gaud is a triple amputee. Shoulder gone, two legs, part of one full, one part of leg, amputee, triple amputee. And I remember that he was one of the first triple amputees, three amputations in his body. To have climbed Mount, one of the mountains in South Russia, I think it was Mount Elbrus. He climbed Mount Elbrus being a triple amputee. Can you imagine the spirit and the health? I mean, he's one man, I remember having read. He's cycled in 48 days from Ladakh to Kanyakumari, triple amputee. I mean, if I tell somebody in Calcutta that you cycled from one end of this to the other and you were panting, he probably wouldn't reach. He'd be so tired. In 48 days to cover that kind of a ground, you can very well imagine. That means good health. I mean, you have good health, you've got a strong body. It's certainly going to happen with a strong mind. And a strong body and a strong mind, well, it's a great combination for self-confidence. So anyway, I think I'm probably on the borderline of the session. So I need to tell you that I think this entire exercise, which has been done by Vikas and his organization Beyond Law, CLC, is a great initiative. When you spread education, you spread knowledge free of cost. You're doing a great society. Civilization has only moved forward because man has shared his knowledge free. That's how civilization has moved forward. The man who would have stored and probably hoarded his knowledge, the civilization doesn't move forward. So let me tell you a small thing before I go. And that is in everyday life, forget about the big things we spoke about. Small things. We don't use words like please. Thank you very much. You're looking very smart today. How are you doing? I mean, is everybody fine at all? Small, nice words. They add a lot because these words connect you to people. And when you connect to people in this manner, you speak nicely to them. They feel good. They retort back nicely. And this entire thing, it adds to your sense of self-confidence. Because life is giving you a certificate that you're a good person. And a good person is certainly a confident person. Certainly because the confidence comes from within. It's not dependent on any external factors. That I have a certificate, I have a degree or something. No, it's not that. The goodness comes from within. And again, being a very holy month of September, with Goddess Durga about to come, I'm just a small time teacher and a writer. But I want to wish all of you the best this festive season. May Goddess Durga bless each one of you and your families with her choices, blessings. And you will be happy, healthy, peaceful, prosperous in your lives. These words I would like to conclude the session. I'm very thankful to, again, to be on Law CLC for this wonderful initiative and for asking me to be here with all of you here today. And believe me, it was a sure pleasure. It was wonderful. And again, you know, see, life is paying me back in such nice ways. Another certificate I get. I can't be seen, but I can feel it in my heart. And I feel very good. So I'll be meet again. Best wishes because I would hand over the proceedings to you. Thank you very much. The way you have mesmerized, I'm reminded that if you are in a music concert, the firstly, the music and the way the people take things forward is you've even forget the time you just keep yourself in that swing and the music itself. And again to your name, I'm quite sure that this knowledge sharing of yours would be amour or as what we say, immortal. And two questions meanwhile have come and any other persons can also post the questions. This is by, in today's materialistic world, money has become everything. Earning money is becoming the sole motto of the exhibition how people with high standards of moral can live in this world of consumers. Rikazji, there is a question which has come here if you allow me to answer it. I've read that question. In fact, it's shared directly. That was a DM. Second question, I will also take how to come back at this when somebody dies. So would you answer it or you want me to answer it? You answer it. Okay. See what happens is death is inevitable. We have to understand that. And all of us are going to lose our near and dear one sometime or the other. And when that happens, it's human that we feel sad. But we need to be sad in a constructive way. In a way that today if one of our parents passed away like I lost my father at a very early age, I used to always remember and feel sad and then I realized that my father wouldn't want me to spend my days in sadness, crying for him. He would want me to be something to do someone and to be someone special. So I put all that emotion, whatever I had, that sad emotion into effort so that I could be someone he really wanted me to be. All of us, when someone we love passes away, we all know what the person thinks and wants. No one who loves us will want us to be sad. So while we will still feel sad, let us use that sadness toward doing something which the person would have liked. It's a much better way to remember that person. So we cannot avoid that sadness. But you can always channelize that sadness into activity which would make that person happy. You know what the person would have left to do. So do that and you will feel much better in your sadness. Not just sad, sad, but sad, happy and joyous that you did something the person would have liked because wherever the person is, somewhere someone is watching you and what could be better than someone watching you knowing that you're doing what they would have left to do. That was the fact that once you do the best thing what your closest one was, a dear to his heart, let's assume you wanted that you should make your place within the society and ex-serviced man. So one should try to raise that bar and that can be the best way of tribute. And keep on lingering with these sad thoughts. Doesn't leave one in a progressive manner. So one has to move on and that's the journey. And this is by how to control anger during work. There's another question, how to control anger during work. See, workplaces are a place where we are challenged to our limits. Whether it's the limit of our ability to work, whether it's our thought process, whether it is our relationships, especially employees with their seniors, with their bosses. But we have to understand that the biggest enemy which we have is anger. And it will never solve anything for us. It will never solve anything for us. I personally feel that when you find someone angry or you yourself are angry, at the least you can do is at that moment don't react. It's very easy to say, do this, do that. When you are very angry, you feel you're terribly angry about something or someone, at that moment try. You don't react. You just, you know, you just bear with it. Don't react. Somebody is being angry with you, shouting, screaming a lot. Don't react. You can do a much better job when you think about it well and react later in a karma way. That's the least we can do. Don't react. It's very easy to react. Somebody is angry with you, shouting at you, you're going to shout back and that he's abusing, you're abusing. And that puts your level up a lot. If you can get over your anger, you are a man or a woman who's going to be doing some very special things in life because most mortals fail to that one emotion. Either they fail to fear or they fall to anger, one of them. So the least you can do is hang on. Don't react then. If you want to react later, but at that moment, please wait for that time to pass. I can just add they say that anger is just one word short of danger. So they exist and coexist together. So one should always control the anger. They say that anger is more like holding the fire in the hand. If you keep on throwing at someone else, it's always dangerous. So rather you can burn something for yours, but to save the society in the larger interest, it's always better to control the anger. Now, this is why in Karnat, sadness is a cognitive function. One has to understand the cognition, and this will happen only when we raise the level of account. So mediation and is one another process or yoga or deep breathing is another process that one can do. And like you have been taking through the entire session and it's always said that fear would be face everything and rise. That's the best way rather than forget everything and run. That will not be taken. They say that only the converts run, but the stronger people always face it. And especially once you are head of an institution or leading a team, you have to act as a mentor and move things forward. Meanwhile, I will just check it out if we have something on the YouTube. So that was good for the day. And friends, tomorrow we will have a session with Mr. Manohar Sharma, who is presently in the Director Judicial Academy, Delhi. He will be speaking on the Data Privacy Act. So please stay connected with us tomorrow at 6 p.m. And words can fall short. The way, eruditely Mr. Ambar Garwal has explained the journey of self-confidence. And as I say that one is more like a candle if even in the darkest way, one can show the light. And similarly, if self-confidence one may has to generate from his own, but at the same time to say that even in the darkest alleys, darkest valleys and darkest tunnels, it's a light. And light is through confidence, through power. And they say knowledge is power, knowledge is light. Thank you for the day. Stay connected. Let's go.