 Item No. SCP-1974 Object Class Safe Special Containment Procedures SCP-1974 is to be contained in a standard low-value item storage vault at Site-242. Any D-class personnel or researchers may perform interviews or testing with SCP-1974 with permission from any researcher or senior researcher working on SCP-1974. Description SCP-1974 is a freestanding ceramic bathtub with a capacity of 148.2 liters, typical of the kind sold in the United States from the 1930s through the mid-1960s. When recovered, it contained 124 liters of water. Any substance added to the water inside of SCP-1974 will be drained or filtered out through unknown means. If drained, SCP-1974 will refill itself at a rate equivalent to the rate at which it is being drained, maintaining a constant volume of 124 liters. When a subject makes contact with the water inside of SCP-1974, they will immediately begin to hear two voices. One voice, nearby a designated SCP-1974-1, has been described as that of an American male of about 85 years of age. The other voice, nearby a designated SCP-1974-2, has been described as a male with a thick Russian accent of around the same age. The former claims to be SCP-1974, while the latter claims to be the water filling SCP-1974. SCP-1974-1 and SCP-1974-2 appear to dislike each other and are described as debating constantly. The debates between SCP-1974-1 and SCP-1974-2 are about capitalism, communism, and the historical and current states of the United States of America, the Soviet Union, and China. Audio Log, 1974-01 Forward, Dr. Hull performs an interview with SCP-1974-1 and SCP-1974-2 in an attempt to ascertain their origin. Begin Log Hello, would you two mind if I ask you some questions? No, no, no, no, no, no. The Russians would have never won if the Cuban Missile Crisis wasn't resolved. Maybe if you got an American education instead of a Russian one, you'd be smart enough to not make comments like that. Oh really? The American educational system was so much better than the Soviet one? Look at the statistics. With the children of the motherland being that much better at science, you'd hope that we would have worn a war against you egotists. In fact, with smart Soviet kids and an ally like China, how could the Communists not become the dominant political party? I have questions about your origins. Would you please answer them for- Because communism was thought up by a deranged crowd. Who wants to share when you can get rich like I was? The people in China are perfectly happy. And would you look at that? China also has smarter kids in the US and a better economy and a bigger military. Maybe if America could stop staring at its muscles in the mirror, it could try to fend off the impending Communist invasion by China. It wouldn't matter though. You'd be beaten anyways. Communism is bound to return to power. Ha! All you can do is hope. Just like you'll never be able to escape me without dying. Communism will never be able to escape capitalism. America is eternal. What do you think of that, Kami? Whose fault is it that you are like this? Remember while we're here, Tubby? It's because big smart Americans thought it would be a great idea to turn a Soviet POW into a tub of water. Then you thought, hey, I wonder if I could be a bathtub? Well guess what? You can. And now we're both trapped here, dammit. I think water got dumber from being your consciousness. Igotistical ass. Soviet savage. Wasp. Cook. Yank. Ivan. I wish I could be drained. I wish I could drain you. Maybe you should up for once if your only company is worms. I hope you get smashed. Both of you, for God's sakes, you're a bathtub filled with water. Why are you arguing about politics of all things? Because we need something to do, for once we agree about something. What else do you two do? We talk about how much we hate you, lardass. So back to debate. Wait. Indeed. Oh no, I'm not done yet. So what you're telling me is that you just sit here insulting each other and going in circles arguing about politics for fun? And then when you get bored of that, you're talking about me behind my back? That sums it up. Now if you would excuse us, doctor, thank you for the information. I will interview you again soon. Dr. Hull terminates contact with SCP-1974 and leaves the testing chamber. End log.