 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and Now Claudia Rug needs it dog must be shit great Danes always said they like it. I don't like it Therefore I shall continue to vacuum the road. Oh, come on. Claudia. You're in my way Go on and enjoy this nice morning with David doing what doing what take a walk in the garden Huh take a walk in the garden. What do you mean doing what you seem to forget? My husband is staying at home in order to facilitate the completion of the plans for the Chicago freight terminal Any interruption of said concentration is unwelcome and excusable and not to be tolerated That goes for every type of noise such as vacuum cleaners washing machines singing and livestock Tramping through the house also questions of any in all descriptions I've just been fired out of his room. Oh my such a tragedy. You certainly sound as if you knew it by heart I've heard it often enough In fact, it was the last thing he told me before we went to sleep last night And the first thing he said when we woke up sounds like a very thrilling and romantic marriage I Like a fool was looking forward to his working up here. Mama. I tell you the strain is going to be terrible We might just as well have a genius in the house. What are the genius like for lunch? He said he wouldn't stop for lunch not to bother Just to hand him in some cool water and a crust of bread or something Spartan isn't oh full of character. I Wish I had some of it. I have as much concentration as a flea when it comes to Keeping my mind on something I have to do such as darling. Yes, such as darling I unearthed a pile of socks and shirts that must have been accumulating for days weeks Where'd you find them under two sheets that need mending inside a box on the bottom shelf of the linen closet will teach you to Go snooping around Anyway, you must admit it was all hidden away very tightly very that's what made me suspicious Quiet Shakespeare. You'll get your face in trouble. Hey, cut it off. Cut it off. Stop playing with the court of that vacuum I better leave it here instead of putting it back in the whole closet. It might disturb David if I pass his study Certainly has his two women towing the mark Wasn't that his door opening? I don't hear it. Oh, yes. Yes, he's coming Well, I was just putting the vacuum cleaner away David. It didn't sound right No, I say sorry Yeah Let's see. I think it needs oil. Oh, don't you trouble. We'll check it. You don't know how to check well darling We're not going to use it any way any more darling That's a fine attitude let a delicate piece of machinery get ruined and then you say you won't use that wasn't the reason It was so as not to disturb you you do you ungrateful creature It disturbs me a lot more to realize that you don't know how to take care of electrical equipment Women shouldn't be trusted with mechanical devices Modern household aids have progressed beyond the female capacity to understand how to handle darling Shut up and go back to work. How can I when I I see a good piece of equipment being abused are not abusing it Anyway, who asked you to come in here anyway? It was making a funny sound But we stopped it you stopped the machine. You did not stop what was making the funny sound I'll bet this thing hasn't been cleaned in six months. We've only had it two months We've only had the rugs down one month, so don't bother You both got guilty consciences Where's some old newspapers into the bag? Oh, we have no old newspapers Why not mama? Why haven't we any old newspapers at the last of them for lunch yesterday? Yes Are you two women being fresh? We just want you to go back to your freight terminal Never mind my freight terminal. I want to see what's wrong with this vacuum Nothing is wrong with it. Please go back to work David, or I'll get the blame for disturbing you I can feel it coming on shores paint now in the first place The proper way to fold the cord is not to bunch it up I see but to wind it carefully and evenly around these two little doohickeys here I always do it doesn't look like it. I haven't begun to put it away yet. Well Maybe you know how but not claudy I do no no no no roll it up roll it up anyway I certainly don't and she wonders why the thing goes on the fritz I never wondered why I went on the fritz. It was you haven't got sense to it isn't on the fritz though No, thanks to her mother. You sound like you hated me. I do. I do when it comes to machinery. I hate all women Well, I suppose we'll have to use today's newspapers. I Haven't even read it yet. You won't have time to read it anyway, David Oh use the front page be the theatrical section for me and the death notices for mama If you don't mind the front page is the only part of the paper. I happen to be interested It would be important things are happening in the world in case you feed two females didn't realize There are more nasty words for the weaker sex mama. He's running out of them I can't think of any except wife and mother-in-law. Yeah, that'll do. Yeah, very funny How does this do whacky open? Don't you know? Listen, I'm not the one who had the demonstration lesson on it I'm not the one who pushes it all around the house I thought that men just sort of sensed those things, you know had a sixth sense about machinery. They have I Just wanted to give my wife and mother-in-law a slight boost and morale. Oh Here we are David. You're not going to open empty that bag in the dining room. Why not? I've got the paper down. It isn't sanitary. We eat in here more sanitary than the kitchen you cook in there There is something in what he says There's very little dust anyway. Yes. I thought you said it needed cleaning. You probably never use not that It's hitting below the belt besides which you heard me use it this morning That was merely to make an impression because I was home You didn't kill yourself either about two seconds and you were through I stopped her because you were working You you you ungrateful creature. You said that before I I am I'm the one who should be speechless with fury. I'm the one who was disturbed I told you did not how important it was for me to have absolute peace and quiet Well, you've got it now So go back into your study and everything will be peace and quiet from now on. It's a solemn promise I don't believe a word of it Besides as long as I'm at it. I may as well go ahead and oil this thing How do you know it needs it because it was making a noise? vacuum cleaners are supposed to make a noise not that much of a noise Where's that little tube of grease that came with it? Well, I don't know. Did any come with of course? Of course it came with it mama. Where is it? I haven't the least idea. This is your house Not mine. Well, you're you're living here. You should know things like that. Now look here I refuse to take any more blame for something I haven't done I am only an innocent bystander I began to use the vacuum cleaner this morning out of the goodness and cleanliness of my soul because the rug was fully your dog's hairs And I've been paying for it ever since with blood sweat and tears blood sweat and tears Where is the dog by the way? I don't know out out where just out We didn't want to disturb you since when does bluff disturb me. He doesn't disturb you, but I do naturally Bluff doesn't talk and ask I am speechless if I asked you one question one little question You're asking one little question now whether where you're going? I'm going in the kitchen My nerves will not stand any more of this this what I feel like I'm in a bad dream Nothing makes any sense. All I asked was where was the grease to all the back of them I said I never saw any grease She did so she pointed over yesterday's newspapers like syrup and ate it for breakfast go get me the directions I'll see if we can use regular machine oil instead Well, I don't see why not get the pamphlet of directions mama. It might surprise you, but I happen to know where it is. You do go and get it David While you're at it the plug on the electric iron is a little bit wobbly Well, I leave a weed wobbly how many times have I warned you not to yank it out of the wall Yeah, get out. Oh now if you're going to ask for a complete case history of the electric iron, too I'm sorry. I spoke forget it Here's mama with your precious directions. I wish I were dead. What's the matter now? I made a mistake and mentioned the electric iron cord will be in for another third degree Why don't you use your intelligence for one cent? Intelligence very funny go ahead and read your directions and get back to our hush. I'm trying to read now Just keep quiet. Can you keep the machine in a dry place into the back for you for purpose spring shampoos and a tax blower Yeah, you can put it away now The directs no the vacuum, but you have an oil that can't we use the regular oil apparently not Oh, you really shouldn't find the grease that came with it Claudia It probably does need oiling and if it makes a funny noise we might as well have it done while David's in a mood to David's not in a mood to David you show me where to put the grease and as soon as we find it. I'll attend to it myself Ain't no more about it. I don't mind doing it. You're right. It's time I learned how to take care of electrical equipment in my old age and Claudia too the manufacturers have done it for you. They're smart They know that women never remembered oil things so they're making household equipment that doesn't need oiling Well, that's very nice of them. It's quite a help just a moment, please I would like to examine mr. Norton on the stand mr. Norton Weren't you awfully sure that the vacuum was making a funny noise weren't you awfully sure it needed cleaning and oiling in fact Weren't you positively absolutely positive that I had mislaid the little tube of grease that comes with the machine? Mrs. Brown will you bear me with and just what are you trying to prove I'll tell you what? I'm trying to prove you're not fit to touch my electric. I and you probably want to oil that too You mean he's not such a much after all he's just a but in ski but in honestly mama what he's put us through with that vacuum What's a nasty word for the stronger sex big-headed excellent? I couldn't have expressed it better myself Claudia he's not even listening. He's looking out of the window. We might just as well be talking to the wind I am looking what mischief your dog is up to now. It's my dog when bluff behaves it's his dog Move aside. Let me see He is not up to anything. He's just standing there thinking Well, I better go and see what he's Thinking about David come back. He's just enjoying the air. Claudia. Let him go But his whole morning will be shot and he won't get any work done smart girl. You're awfully dumb at times What do you mean? It's a beautiful day and he wants an excuse not to work That's why he picked on the poor vacuum cleaner and now he's found bluff to play with You mean he has no more concentration than I have Yippie, I think you're right. Goodbye mama. Now, where are you going? I I don't know just someplace where david's going, but we'll be home for lunch for a crust of bread I presume but you better have a small steak and an apple pie on the side As you bustle about the house spending your precious energy You might bear in mind that house workers too deserve the pause that refreshes The time you take to enjoy an ice-cold bottle of coca-cola is time well spent Here's another suggestion when you turn on your favorite radio program reach for an ice-cold coke That's a growing family custom and a pleasant one. Oh, mr. King I fear me that david isn't going to get a great deal of work done today That's always what happens to me when I stay home. There are suddenly so many things I'd rather do Well, at least he can't blame it on us claudia and I were being as quiet as two mice Two mice with a vacuum cleaner. Oh you too Well, I'm glad to see claudia and david having such a good time together No, there aren't very many marriages like there's many too few. This is a happy marriage. It's good to see Speaking of marriages, I understand mr. Killian david's partner is coming for dinner tomorrow evening He is you always get such a lot of pleasure from watching claudia and david I suppose it's because his marriage isn't anything like it. I hardly even think of him as married Well, we'll all find out more about it tomorrow. See you then mr. King. Goodbye, mr. Brown As I was about to say Every day monday through friday claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joe king saying olivar and remember Whoever you are whatever you do Wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola For coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes And ice cold coca-cola is everywhere This broadcast of claudia was supervised and directed by william brown maloney And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola