 Hello there my beautiful internet friends welcome back to my channel and welcome to this video where we will be joined by my co-host Cakes my adorable fluffy ginger cat at about 1 a.m. Last night. I got back from a trip to Hilton Head, South Carolina It was a lovely little trip, but it came with a little bit of complication over this past year in particular I have been learning a lot about doing things even when the circumstances for doing those things are not Right, I don't know if you're anything like me But I get caught in the cycle pretty often that if something isn't the way that I want it to be even if it's similar If it's close if it's not the way I really want it to be I'm not gonna do that I think this can apply to so many things like completing work projects or producing videos or going out if you don't look the Way you feel like you should look or fill in the blank with whatever it is that you particularly struggle with So let's talk a little bit today about doing things even when the circumstances themselves seem to suck So quick recap if you're not familiar with my story I'm a below-the-knee amputee this occurred about a year and a half ago due to a lot of different circumstances Which are documented on the rest of my channel and prior to knowing that that was gonna happen that year my friends and I Planned a trip to Ireland. We had this plan for a very long time. We saved up for it We had the dates picked and when I actually decided to go through the amputation I was like, you know what it's six months out That's more than enough time to heal and get to a place where I can least you know walk according to my Doctors according to prosthetics according to other amputees. I talked to I was like, all right At least I'll be able to walk around some of the country and it shouldn't be significant issue, right? Well, if you've been here for a little while, you know that that is not how things have gone I've had many complications. I've had additional surgeries I eventually had to have it chopped off the second time and when we were getting ready to go to Ireland I was in a place where I was in a lot of physical pain and I could not walk on a prosthetic leg at all whatsoever. I'd had a bad fall in a restaurant and it had caused really bad problems where all I could do was walk on crutches Or on an eye walk and it was a real serious consideration To just cancel the trip because trying to get around a foreign country for the first time trying to cart around crutches and a walking crutch and the Limited range of activities that I would be able to do with that situation Really had me considering just not going at all like just cancelling the whole thing Letting my friends go and being like I'll make it in a couple years when the situation is actually right and I can do What I want to do there But we thought about it for a while and eventually we decided we were gonna go and I was just gonna do whatever I could do And to be honest with you I was pretty I was pretty bummed out about that because I love big outside I love going and doing things and walking and hiking and pushing myself and all of that and I had these great dreams of what it was gonna look like when I finally went to Ireland and It seemed like all those dreams were totally dead. I was gonna go there and sit around and eat some Probably delicious food maybe drink a little bit of beer even though that's not totally my thing but not be able to walk around the city or go hiking in the hills or walk along rivers or anything like that and If I could it would be for very short distances and it kind of felt like it ruined the whole thing So I decided to give it a shot and let's pause right there and then jump forward to this year Like I said, I just got back from a trip to Hilton Head, South Carolina We were there for a little under a week and it had been planned again for a really long time and this time This was gonna be awesome because my leg had been doing really well. I'd been able to walk I was training for like a 5k that walking fast version not the running just yet And I was so excited to be heading into this with like a good situation and not having to like carry Crutches and a ton of extra medical supplies and just be able to like go with my leg And it wasn't gonna take all that extra energy that had gone into trying to prepare for Ireland and all that And I was just I was excited about it and then things started going bad with my leg again It started hurting and started having serious issues trying to walk on it for any extended period of time Just a lot of pain and doctors couldn't figure out what's going on I'll link the video up above that talks about that it's my it's my latest video and the timing of it was really Discouraging like it sucks to have issues going on that prevents you from being able to walk consistently and bring more pain Anyways, but I had been so looking forward to going to beaches and doing a lot of things and walking everywhere Because that's just what we do and it seemed like that wasn't gonna be able to happen at all and part of me Wanted to stay home. I desperately wanted to see my friends. I really wanted to enjoy their company But I didn't want to go under those circumstances again I wanted to go the way that I wanted to go there and I was really pouty and really bummed out about the fact that oh Okay, this is gonna go back to how my life was for the last year where I'm walking on I walk which hurts my knee I might bring travel crutches, but those are really heavy and bulky and I don't want to do that But my desire to see my friends overwrote that because I was like regardless. We're gonna sit and we're gonna have good conversation So screw it whatever. It's a loss But I'll I'll do it under these circumstances and something that trips me up pretty consistently is thinking that I know What the future is gonna look like or what it's gonna hold when I think we all know in reality That's a ridiculous thought to have because no one can predict what's gonna happen We go on the information that we have but I get really caught up thinking that I know just because I know I know my body I know how my life works. I know what's gonna happen, you know But I actually don't and we went on this trip and yeah I was having some pain and yeah I wasn't able to do as much as I would have done but I was able to do a lot and I am going for a walk By myself With delicious coffee in my hand on my own two feet And it's really perfect And I was able to do cool things that I haven't done in a really long time like walk on a beach There's this quote that goes salt water heals all things sweat tears in the ocean, and I think it's true It's lovely here and figure out how to manage sand in my prosthetic leg and Saw a really cool area of the country and I was able to do a lot of things. I loved I was able to do so much more I predicted in my mind I was gonna be able to and it was a wonderful trip and a couple of the days I was there my leg was doing a lot better than it had been doing and then it took a turn again But whatever it was doing really well And so I was able to like walk to the beach in the morning by myself as the sun was rising and that was one of the most Incredible experiences to me. I don't feel a lot of peace in my life But going to a beach earlier in the morning when no one else was there and just existing I felt that peace again for the first time in a really long time And I was thinking back to this last year when I went to Ireland and when I was very Frustrated and discontent with the situation under which I was going but decided to go anyways And it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I was able to do more than I thought yes It was difficult. Yes, it took so much more energy than I wanted it to yeah I'd rather be walking when I was there, but I saw amazing things. We drove around. We did so much I walked to a little French pastry shop with my husband and one of my best friends And I got up early in the morning because that's like my thing to do when I'm on vacation I know it's a little counterintuitive most people want to sleep in but like I want to get up first thing in the morning before Anyone is awake and I walked down to the edge of the Kenmare Bay in Ireland and just listened To the sound of the water and the otters playing that will I think always be one of my favorite memories of my life Because I felt at peace again and there are so many cool memories from that But neither one of these trips was done the way that I wanted to do it and I seriously considered not doing it because the situation wasn't perfect I fall into this trap quite often I fall in the trap of thinking like I can't paint unless the situation is absolutely right My mood is absolutely perfect to do it and the lighting is right in the house And I have enough time and blah blah blah like fill in the blank I do this with work where I feel like I can't work if my house isn't clean It's like a thing that I have if my house is not clean and orderly I feel like I cannot focus and so I focus all my energy on getting the environment right so the situation is right So I can do my best work. I think that there's something to be said for that to some extent But if you take it to the level that I often try to take it to I just end up not doing things I end up not doing things that are really good for me and good for my life and could Bring amazing things and good memories and the more that I go along this journey of being an amputee and having issues With that and having physical issues with that and not knowing what that means I feel like I'm learning again and again and again that it's so important for me to participate in life Anyways to do things that I can do to the best of my ability And that doesn't mean that it's bad to take a break or to not do something if you really feel like it's not right for you Or the situation isn't good or healthy or safe or whatever But I wonder how much all of us get caught up in this theology this mental theology sometimes That's probably the wrong term for it mindset. That's what I'm thinking of how often do we not do something that we have Opportunity to do because the circumstances aren't exactly what we want them to be I really don't want to sound like a cheesy motivational speaker and be like go out and do things just do it Just do them anyways Even if you don't feel like perfect about it, but I guess that is kind of what I'm saying and I'm learning for myself more And more what a powerful thing that is because I know I have missed out on a lot of life Because the circumstances were not what I wanted them to be and the more I stop paying attention to that And I'm grateful for the opportunity and I try to take advantage of it the best that I can and make something out of it I think that is kind of what life is It's taking the circumstances that were handed because we cannot control those and Choosing to do what we can with what we can control, which is ourselves our minds our bodies So I know also as I'm filming this video someone turned a fan on which means that there's no background noise I don't want there to be in this video and my gut reaction is to stop it restart it get the audio right But that's not the point this video doesn't have to be perfect to be worth publishing This video doesn't have to be exactly right with audio quality to get the message out that I'm trying to convey And so with the noise in the background I don't know what your life looks like or what your particular struggles are But I feel like it's a pretty human thing to strive for perfection or to strive for the perfect circumstances So the perfect opportunity before we really take it before we go after what we want before we actually start creating or writing or Or or doing art or pursuing that career We really want or investing in friendships that matter to us or fill in the blank if everything hasn't fallen into a place a hundred percent But I know that I am learning again and again again, but that is not what matters What actually matters for me anyways is it's what I choose to do with the circumstance I find myself in it's what I choose to do and what I choose to create and build in those moments where I can't control External circumstances and I am going to do my very best to keep trying and probably failing and trying and succeeding and trying all over again To live life regardless of the circumstances that I find myself in and find joy in those moments the best that I can Let me know if any of this resonates with you if you agree or you disagree share a story down below I'd love to hear from you guys It would seem that this video is all about leading by example today They're not intentionally because as I was filming the outro to the video my camera battery died So now I'm changing locations and that is you know what who really cares I want to make myself some French Pest coffee here and to breathe for a moment and enjoy the moment that I have right now Before I go about and do the things that I need to do But I want to say thank you to all my patrons over on patreon for choosing to support me the way that you do it means the World to me I truly appreciate it link is here if you're interested in what that is all about and to you watching this video right now Thank you so much for allowing me to be a piece of your day Thanks for spending a few minutes out of your day here with me You could be anywhere in the world doing anything and you chose to spend it with me and I'm really grateful for that I love you guys. I'm thinking about you and I will see you in the next video