 So the other night my girlfriend and I were watching a Netflix show a dating a relationship show called back with your ex Now I know many of you aren't big fans of reality TV In fact, I can honestly say reality TV is a bit scripted and some might even say that it's rather Garbage and I probably would incur or agree at the same time I find it fascinating human behavior and what's particular about this show is this is the story of four different couples who dated at one period at one point in time and For whatever reason they ended their relationship But usually the guys ended the relationship and now they're coming back wanting to get together with their ex and they claim It's because of timing so I thought this would be an interesting Conversation to explore timing now. What's fascinating about this show first off. It's a 2018 show in in Australia and So I think it's a little bit different than US reality TV or at least that's my impression anyway And I thought One couple in particular was a couple in their 50s and most everyone else was in there Roughly their early 30s. Okay The men claim that they've actually matured since this period of time and they felt like it was the right time to Explore their relationship and what they did was they're basically put in this incubator if you will in other words, they're put into this Blender for about three weeks to see if it makes sense to get back together And I started to think about timing and I know many of you have thought about the idea of timing in relationship I know even for myself in my current relationship. I really started to explore the timing of it Why was the timing right now versus a different time? In my life Well, certainly after my divorce and I know many of you watch my channel or in midlife Which is after baby making years and before retirement? Like many people in that age bracket I went through a divorce and for the most part people who are single over 45 years old I'm gonna say roughly 75% of them are divorced. Okay, so what's the benefit of knowing this? Well, I know in my case after my divorce. I thought oh, I was so ready I was so ready. I was so ready for a relationship because I was in an unhappy relationship for so long What's interesting that happened to me over the next few years is I realized the more I push my boundaries In other words, let me reframe that the more I was pushing up against my emotional boundaries And what I mean is my emotional capacity to be in a relationship with someone the more I realized It was not ready Ladies, how many times have you connected with a man who's gone through a divorce or any man who's had a significant relationship that ended and They said to you after they began dating you after they've spent time with you They aren't ready for a relationship. They're not ready for a relationship. Has this happened to you? If it has please let me know post a comment or post a comment in the chat box I know I've said this many a time because I wanted companionship connection I wanted sex, but I realized that the missing ingredient for me at that time was my capacity to commit So let's think of timing in the context of someone's capacity to commit their readiness to commit And you have to look at the balance of someone's life to be able to know it to kind of decipher if they're ready to commit If you watch my video the five glaring red flags to spot in the guy It'll give you some insight into how some men are incapable of commitment Even though they might think they are ready That's right. They might think they're ready But when you look at the totality of their life, what's going on in their life? Are they really capable to lean into commitment and I want to share with you some important things that you should know Before you actually invest time in a man in relationship because the reality is today we are swimming in a sea of Casual relationships. In fact, I believe the dating process today has really just turned into a hookup process That's right The dating process is simply a hookup process Because the reality is is you don't have to make much of a commitment to a person To actually explore a relationship with someone. In fact, you could simply say I'm willing to be monogamous and exclusive And that now while that might sound like whoa, that's so much commitment Really, there isn't the difference between monogamy and exclusivity and You know is basically a casual relationship without some level of commitment to where is this relationship going to go? What do you want a relationship to look like for you? Many of you have been following my channel know that I speak about this frequently I speak about what I was looking for when it came to commitment in a relationship In fact, I invite you all to ask men this question when you're actively dating What does a relationship look like for you? What does commitment look like for you? That's right. Ask those specific words What does it look like for you? Again? I said a moment ago. If you've been following my channel, you know I said it looked like this We spend three we spend consistent time together whether it's three or four and eight four three or four days and nights a week together Doing shared activities hobbies mutual interests spending time with family and friends traveling together teamwork building skills both in our personal and our professional life intimacy both physical and emotional intimacy leading to either moving in together or getting married That's a very defined look at what commitment looks like and My actions in my relationship right now Demonstrated that that's what I wanted, but if you're actively dating right now, you might hear things from men that look like this Oh, yeah, I'm ready for a relationship. I want a relationship Well, what if your idea relationship is what I just described, but his idea relationship is Oh, I just want to spend time with you at my beck and call In fact in the reality show we're watching the back with your back with my ex back to my ex Something like that now. I can't remember the title Was interesting one of the men who is in relationship with a woman. She was 22 at the time He was 23 or 24 at the time and he had very specific rules around when he would see her He would say he only wanted to see her once a week This went on for six years their relationship was six years And he barely spent more than once or twice a week with her at any given time Can you really build the deep roots of trust once or twice a week? And I know some of you are saying well Jonathan. I'm in a long-distance relationship. I barely get to see a guy. Yeah, that's right You're in a cyber relationship. You're in a telephonic relationship when you are If you're not actively spending consistent time together as I said before shared activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends That's how two people can actually bond together and see if they actually can work together from a long-term perspective Fact I was watching a youtuber the other day. He says you really don't get to know someone until you live with them Hey, most of you know now my significant relationship. My partner and I are living together This happened within five months of our first physical meeting although we did know each other for a year prior to meeting Okay, now I'm getting to see she's getting to see the full me and I'm getting to see the full her Okay, why is this so critically important because dating today is a drawn-out process Where people just Cavalierly spend time together. That's why I said it's more like hanging out Or dating is more like did I say hanging out earlier? I meant to say dating today is more like hooking up People are just hooking up with one another They're not actually Investing the deep roots of trust needed to actually take the relationship to another significant level So when it comes to timing when it comes to men in recognizing their capacity to actually be in a relationship You have to first determine does the ground underneath this person seems solid? Does the ground underneath this person seems solid what I mean to say is does he have his professional life in order? Does he have chaos going on in his life with an ex-partner or an ex-spouse? Does he have health issues that might preclude him because the ground underneath him doesn't feel solid? Many of you know I got divorced over a decade and a half ago and I said as I said earlier in this video I skipped saying I'm ready for a relationship. I'm ready for a relationship. I'm ready for a relationship Well what I what I was going through at that time was a contentious divorce. I Also lost my quarter million dollar a year job, or I shouldn't say I lost it. They actually decided to Close down my division so by virtue I lost it Which gave me an opportunity to escape a business. I couldn't stand anymore anyway, but at that time Imagine this my professional life was in chaos I was going through a contentious divorce my living arrangements kept switching around the ground underneath me wasn't solid So how could I deeply explore a relationship with someone? Well the timing wasn't right Now I eventually met someone and I wasn't a relationship with this person for over six years But still I wasn't in the space I am today because I was going through what Alison Armstrong Calls the tunnel the tunnel and what the tunnel is It's kind of like Joseph Campbell's Heroes journey if you're not familiar with the heroes journey of Joseph Campbell. I highly recommend looking into this Why is this so important? Because when men go through a significant transition in their life like what Allison calls the tunnel This is what's also known as midlife crisis It's where the reality of where they thought their life was going to be or excuse me it's where the the the vision of where they thought their life was going to be collides with their reality and This is why many men go through a deep dark night of the soul. They go through this tunnel I know I went through this quite frankly the tunnel for some men can last five ten fifteen or even twenty years and Men who are in the tunnel at least the beginning stage of the tunnel. It's very difficult for them to actually lean into a significant relationship Maybe they feel burned in their past relationship may and by the way ladies everything I'm sharing with here is equal to This is you know, not singular to a gender This is about human beings experience this dark night of the soul for women It might look a little bit different than men, but the end of the day It's this journey of basically I Think midlife crisis is that period of time where as I said you crash with your reality and it's an opportunity to reinvent yourself And yet many people They cover their pain with alcohol they cover their pain with drugs they cover their pain with sex Sexaholics, maybe it's some other addiction and when people have addictions in their life that consume them It makes it difficult for them as I said earlier to lean into a relationship So timing has a lot of different factors associated with it Ultimately, what's more most important as I said before is the ground underneath him solid? This is why in my private coaching by the way There's a link right here to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you My whole coaching is designed to help you identify Through a series of questions based on your personality is what questions Do I need to ask this person to determine if they're emotionally mature and available enough for a relationship and if they're Compatible with me with yourself in a relationship If you're not familiar with my emotional maturities relationship chart by the way, thank you to one of your beautiful you Followers out there. By the way, this is not a fact. This is merely opinion I believe roughly this is emotional maturity in relationship skills. This relates to timing Because if their emotional maturity if their relationship skills is weak It doesn't matter if they think it's the right time for them to be in a relationship. Can they truly? Can they truly sustain the relationship if they represent either the 20% of people? I think are clinical or the 60% I believe were dysfunctional and Healthy people healthy emotionally mature people. Let me tell you how they show up in relationship Their actions consistently match their words their actions consistently match their words and number one They have victor consciousness and not victim consciousness Unfortunately, sadly here in the United States. We are suckling on the nipple of victim consciousness Meaning we feel like, you know, what's we feel like everything is happening to us instead of victor consciousness seeing every Misfortune as an opportunity to grow Just like what Edison experienced when he was creating a light bulb He didn't say he had 2,000 failures when he tried to create below when he was creating light bulb He said I learned 2,000 ways not to make a light bulb. He saw every misfortune as an opportunity in his life Instead of calamity is life and yet sadly here. We are suckling on that nipple of victim consciousness number three Most importantly is do you have good? Listening skills and good communication skills good listening skills, especially in relationship is to actively listen to what your partner has to say You validate or acknowledge what they have just said so they know you've heard them and Then you accept what they say is true for them, even if you disagree with them You've heard the phrase agree to disagree Well, what's most important is that you accept what they say is true for that person and yet sadly here We oftentimes have power struggles. We have gas lighting people want to be right Rather than being happy and that's an important skill That's an important relationship skill is to actively listen to your partner and accept what they have to say is true for them number four is They have empathy and empathy isn't just I can feel your feelings empathy is I Care about your feelings your feelings matter to me and most importantly your feelings matter to yourself as well Self-love is an important component to being emotionally mature. This is why I wrote my book What the heck is self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work? Because without it it's going to be coming back to timing without having these pieces in place the timing won't be right And let me just share with you. I truly believe 80% of the population is rather fucked up Emotionally speaking and relationship skills By the way, all the books I recommend in my videos are in the description below under Jonathan recommends books Or my book is that self-love the book calm all right, so What's the note? What's important about knowing this all of this? I think of my own relationship now Why was the timing right? We had met each other online a year before But the timing wasn't right now. We had distance involved. That was probably that is was a hurdle we had to overcome But she came to visit Los Angeles six months after that and I chose not to meet her Timing wasn't right for me. I was going through a lot of things after my son passed away after my mother passed away and my father You know moved out of the country, so I was going through my own Many dark night of the soul after my big dark night of the soul And when she came out to visit again, I didn't choose to see her because the timing wasn't right What's interesting is when I chose when I went out to Chicago For a wedding. I made sure to ask her to meet me I felt like it was my time not necessarily to claim this person because quite frankly We saw each other as friends first I was I was surprised at how well we got along with each other and that was the right time for us folks Timing isn't intangible. We can't know when when it is that we are going to meet someone special in our life It took me took like it took me 50 plus years to experience an amazing relationship a lot of you go I want it now and many of you can't wait. I had the timing for me also Represented was I wasn't attached to the outcome. I wasn't attached to the outcome of Meeting a mate. I desired it, but I wasn't attached to the outcome and because of that there was no pressure when we met Thankfully we hit it off and look here. We as she and I say frequently and here we are So I want to leave you with this one last note before I take questions And that is the following Things that again, I want to emphasize things that affect timing age and life experience maturity and emotional maturity Past relationship experiences life goals because that's a big piece in the puzzle love attachment styles The vision for the future like what I shared earlier the vision for the future of what commitment looks like and a person's emotional baseline and healing their traumas ladies It's important incumbent upon you if you want to be in a what I call juicy delicious happy relationship You need to remember these three things for yourself as well You have to retain your power Sadly most women give their power away in relationships You really do and it saddens me that you do this This is why I continually recommend reading the book why men love bitches and I always say bitch stands for babe in total control of herself Giving your power away seems to be a Significant experience for women and I can go into more detail on that later number two It's choosing a partner who sees the future through the same window as you do meaning to say he wants commitment the way you want commitment and Lastly you have to have good communication skills particularly in the area of conflict resolution. I Was reading a book. Where's his book? This is by Calvin Robertson He's the pastor on Married at first sight. He calls marriage ain't for punks. Now. Let me just say something to you Marriage might not be the end all for many of you marriage The makeup of a significantly successful marriage is a great foundation Whether you're in a whether you're married or you're living together and you're in a fully committed relationship And what I like about what he says in this book particularly is to emphasize the importance of conflict resolution skills and Folks this is gonna take by the way This is why I like the idea of people spending a lot of time together in a short period of time So they can figure out if they're a match instead of this long drawn out process Because you can spend two years with someone and not know if they're really even capable of being in a relationship And again, if you need some support with that check out a link. It's a schedule a call with me I'll go into greater detail of helping you understand compatibility for yourself So you don't make the choices of going down the wrong path and you put the odds in your favor Is this thinking in is this resonating? Please let me know. Please hit that like button Please share this video and if you're brand new to this video, please subscribe to my channel All right, I think this would be a good place. I got a hair on my face somewhere here I think this would be a good place to start with our Q&A All right, if you're familiar with my format You have a question write the word question then post the question there after or you can purchase a super sticker super chat All the money's from this and there's a little dollar sign in the chat box if you're watching live or you can purchase a super Thanks if you're watching the replay all the money's from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my Son Connor Azley. He's my son who passed away a few years ago and in his honor I donate to causes like the Hoffman process and insight seminars just to name a few these are personal development Organizations that I think can make a big difference in people's lives All right, well, it's time to take questions I've got to take this question right here Jamie writes Jonathan Why do you look like you're in a Ralph Lauren ad? What are you doing? You have a glow about you? Well, thank you so much. I suspect that glow is because I am in what I Frequently say is a juicy delicious happy relationship You know, it's interesting. She and I were talking the other day over the weekend. I Think we're both experiencing The feeling of being content Like there's something wonderfully magical about feeling content and what I mean to say is It's kind of joy. It's kind of peaceful We don't there we're not bumping up against each other and what's fascinating is when we do play Our little kids come out and sometimes they can be a little whiny a little complaining But we know it's our little kid because we switch to a little kid voice with one another And it just simply means that sometimes it just we want attention. Sometimes we just want to connect but mostly I Think what it's it's saying is we're happy and I'm just grateful to experience this and the one thing I recommend with everybody And it's what she and I do every night We express gratitude for one another gratitude is a it's it's like a Booster shot in your relationship. I mean, I I think it's really it's it's well what booster shot isn't even the right terminology I would say it's the fundamental foundation For a successful healthy happy relationship is to feel at a level of gratitude And I can't begin to tell you I'm glowing because I am ridiculously grateful To be in this amazing relationship and I'm grateful for the person. I'm wet. So thank you Jamie for that I really appreciate it Hey, I want to thank Samantha for the super sticker three dollars. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it for the Connor Asley fun Okay, Jen four says Question they say it's how he feels when he's around you, but that's how but that How can you discuss problems you have and be yourself? I'm not a hundred percent sure of your question, but let me just say this I Think one of the one of the Things I appreciate most about the relationship I am is our ability to be vulnerable authentic and transparent that's right vulnerable authentic and transparent and We've expressed fears with one another as I wrote in my book what the heck of self-love anyway chapter 9 says First chapter 1 says speak your truth do it with kindness Let me pull up my book again speak your truth do it with kindness Chapter 9 says if it's sincere and from the heart you can't say the wrong thing to the right person folks when you Express something from the heart A lot of times people express their desires or they project on another person when you express insecurity from the heart When you're with the right person they can receive it I'm very appreciative of my sweetheart to share. She shared some insecurities with me I've shared some insecurities with her I lean into it a because of the readiness I have to be in a relationship because that's a big part of it But more importantly I care enough because remember I said before Empathy isn't just you can feel a person's feelings empathy means I genuinely care about her feelings when you're with the right person You'll leave when the right person is with you in with you. Let me reframe that They're gonna lean into your vulnerabilities instead of run away Anyway, Jen, I hope I answered your question. Thank you so much for that one All right, Jamie says juicy delicious. Happy. Yes, you can bottle and you bottle it, please. I'm doing I'm bottling it every day Thank you DM says question He doesn't have a time schedule. He responds to things as when he as when as he has a free Lance job as a massage therapist. He often doesn't have time to rest himself. Is there any hope in this relationship? Folks, oh listen. There are all different types of relationships out there There are casual relationships. There are situations ships. There are friends with benefits. There are serious Relationships there are relationships where two people live together and then there's marriage and I'm sure there's a couple in there between that I've missed My belief is this What's the fucking point to date someone if you don't want to either live with them or get married? What's the point? That's my Belief system you don't have to subscribe to that But I am of the belief system that two people join together in partnership Otherwise, it's just a casual relationship. So my belief system is to very early on discuss Discuss what does a serious relationship look like for you? What does commitment look like for you? I know but Jonathan It's gonna scare people away Yeah, who's it gonna scare away the guy who's not ready for a relationship the guy where the timing isn't right But Jonathan, I'm just supposed to sit in my feminine energy and let him claim me Folks you can sit in your feminine energy all day long But if you're not on the same page He might short term claim you men are hunters. You've heard it before I'm gonna say it again men are hunters What do men hunt? They don't hunt around like this. I want a relationship. I want a relationship. I want a relationship They're not hunting that men hunt Physical pleasure so when you've been indoctrinating this belief that men are the leaders of relationship because they're hunters and they must chase you Yeah Temporarily they might capture you or claim you for a moment But if their timing isn't right if their emotional maturity isn't there if their readiness isn't there it doesn't really matter So I just did a squirrel I went off on a tangent now. I can't remember the original question So as far as his time schedule coming back to my point if you're not spending Consistent time together doing shared activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends It's gonna be difficult to build the deep roots of trust and trust as I said about empathy trust is this person Cares about your feelings as much as they care about their own they look at you with their they look at you From the perspective of they want your best in they're always looking you with For your best interest I Can tell you within my relationship. I am continually looking at her and saying what's in her best interest Ladies you do this for men. Men should be doing the same thing for you So if his timing won't allow you to build the deep roots of trust do you want to invest in that relationship? You've got to make that decision for yourself All right. Thank you so much for that question DM Jen xx Jen xx question Can you address the syndrome of men deciding they are ready and just marrying whomever happens to be there? Why don't they choose the best woman they know and win her over? I love this question By the way, I want to thank Elise for the $5 super sticker. Let's come back to this question. Love this question So there's something I noticed shortly after my divorce and that was I Notice men going through a divorce and they literally Remarried the next person that they met they remarried the next person they met wonder if I have the book handy That's too far for me to reach right now What I learned was something called codependency codependency there are a group of men who are Absolutely terrified of being alone. They're a group of people. I should say that are terrified of being alone and They literally locked themselves on to the first person they meet and that's oftentimes what happens and guess what? Why do you think second and third marriages have a 60 to 70 percent? Failure rate. I'll call it ending rate a failure rate Because people jump into quickly Relationship oftentimes because they're coming at it from a place of codependency and not from as you said Picking the best person and ladies do this as well ladies. You oftentimes choose the wrong guy tolerate Intolerable behavior and then ask yourself why did you settle you didn't pick the best guy because we're operated because women Operate from fear and scarcity and men. Hey if someone says hi to them and they're willing to commit women Do the women in the relationship goes wow? I got a guy who's willing to commit So anyway, I think that answers your question Thank you so much Elise did give us a five dollar super sticker and then she asked a question as well a question is There a difference between monogamy and exclusivity when it comes to love and relationships All right. I love this question So in my mind monogamy simply means if we're sleeping together we agree not to sleep with someone else That's monogamy exclusivity means if we're in relation we're spending time with one another We won't actively be seeking someone else to spend time with one is sex related one is the amount of the Commitment to not explore a relationship with someone else. So folks You guys all know where's my book? Eight dates by doctors John and Julie Gottman What do I always say before the penis goes inside the vagina read chapter one in this book This is about trust and commitment Folks if you're not discussed listen before he gets to have sex with you or at least the second or third time if you're not Asking what does the commitment look like for this guy and read this chapter first that I have clients Buying two copies of this book giving the second copy to the guy they're dating They're giving the second kind of copy of the guy they're dating and saying look before we have sex We're gonna do this book. I've and I gotta tell you I'm getting email after email after email from by the way I am so blessed to have a business where my my personal coaching clients I get phone calls almost at least a couple times a week Jonathan. I met a great guy Jonathan. I met a great guy Jonathan, I met a great guy and they know the difference In fact, I have a call later this week with a client who's just told me she's she's now Two and a half years in a relationship and she wanted to just touch face with me because now it's going to the next level of them Moving in together She talked about the serious stuff before they had sex together Folks if you're not listen, I know you love the idea like I said before jokingly sitting in your feminine and waiting to Be claimed but let me tell you something I know you love the idea of men being the leaders of the relationship You're giving the job to the wrong person. You are in charge of your relationship. That's me Don't give that job to a guy. Don't give that job to a guy. You're in charge of your relationship. That's me So at least thanks so much for that question or Ellie. I appreciate that question All right corny cob Would you be able to explain the main takeaway from talking to strangers? I've been reading it and I'd like to know more about how it relates to dating relationships great question So I've talked about this book called talking to strangers It's not a dating a relationship book. It's about understanding that these days We are meeting total strangers and it's interesting We could go to a grocery store Somebody could drop a bag and we'll pick it up and be cordial to someone who's a total stranger Sometimes we operate from a place of blind trust with total strangers and in the dating realm It fascinates me how much blind trust there is to somebody you know nothing about Sadly there are bad people out there sadly there are sociopaths out there sadly there are narcissists out there and Even worse the tinder swindler So it behooves us to understand that if we're meeting a total stranger We need to vet this person as much as possible We need to do whether it's a background check checking out their social media footprint do something and More importantly try to connect the dots of who is this person's friends are So we can actually determine who this person is It used to be we made it in our tribe Everybody knew each other now. We no longer mate in our tribes So I'm here to suggest a way of looking at things by recommending that book to understand that if we're meeting strangers Not to have our radar up, but most importantly to understand It takes time to get to know a total stranger And you might want to do some research before you invest your heart to somebody you don't know All right, thanks so much for that question corny Cobb. I really appreciate it. Okay Lisa says could there be the rock? Could there be a right person at the wrong time? You know, I think it's all the right person is at the right time So the right time represents the right person Because you might see the problem with this notion They're the right person the timing in the right you might have what's called unrequited love You might try to convince this person. That's the right time and might invest hours days and weeks Convincing this person to shift their narrative Hmm. Hey, I want to test something everybody. I can't take off the microphone. I was going to take down the blinds All right, let's see what other questions we have Alright Corny Cobb says I want a relationship All right, Lisa says question Could there be oh you asked that already. Oh wait, she and she went on to have a little bit more here He hasn't quite healed from his marriage of 22 years This was the first time he had his heart broken at 54 years old He's gonna probably need a lot of healing before he's ready for a relationship By the way, the blinds are gonna be opened in just a sec. Oh, it's too bright. Sweet. Oh, no, you can open them Nope, it's too bright My sweetheart right there is opening the blinds at the speed that she can be here. Let me grab that Folks hopefully when the sun sets a little bit sooner I can show you the beautiful view of the ocean and the sunset right behind me. So thank you so much, sweetheart I appreciate that See what are questions we have? AM1 says I really appreciate your coaching information But I always go away from these videos with a little hope in with little hope in ever having a relationship just so sad about that You know, I could blow smoke up your ass and give you a lot of false hope I Can be on I'm gonna be honest with all you I can blow smoke up your ass and give you a lot of false hope So I can understand why my videos might seem that way. I'll be candid with you The the odds are slim the older we get the odds are slimmer My job as a coach is to put those odds in your favor The most important aspect of this journey is not to find your mate The most important aspect of this journey in life is finding the relationship within yourself This is why I continually recommend the book the untethered soul by Michael Singer Folks, this isn't a journey about finding your mate This is a journey about finding the mate within yourself That's where you should be investing all your time We have a lot of broken human beings out there and if you're investing time and let me be fair When I say the word broken human beings what I really mean to say is human beings that who have had traumas Who are unhealed? That's the significant percentage of the population My job is to put the first opt is to encourage personal development self-help and spiritual work This is why I continually recommend the book the Hoffman process So you can do a deep dive in the healing your childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas So you can be prepared for a great relationship and also become a magnetic Attractor for that kind of relationship in your life if you want to attract an amazing relationship in your life then you listen most of you Most of you have this attitude that it just should be simple and easy It should be simple and easy By the way, if you hear a little barking down there, that's our we're babysitting a dog right now. So if you hear that So it should be simple and easy It's not simple and easy Finding your mate might be the hardest thing you'll ever experience in your life So why act so cavalier about it that it's just supposed to be magic fairy dust to make everything work folks I literally had crawled through glass Emotionally speaking to be able to be in the situation. I could be today To attract an amazing partner in my life. I had to crawl through emotional Broken glass if you will and what I mean to say is I had to do a lot of introspective work personal development self-help and spiritual work Most human beings spend more time brushing their teeth combing their hair and putting makeup on for women in particular Then they do in their emotional health This is why I continually recommend book after book after book Because when you shore up your emotional health when you actually and many human beings are in this delusion fantasy That they're actually have emotional maturity and good relationship skills I continually speak to women who are in the delusion That they actually have good skills In fact, if you watch the tv show couples therapy Couples there by the way most couples therapists will tell you this is what happens They walk couples will walk into the office and they point the finger like this. It's his fault. It's her fault It's his fault. It's her fault. I am perfect men and women alike do this 80 90 percent of the population are delusional thinking that they don't have any issues in their life I'm riddled with issues and I work on this shit every day So as far as hope. Yeah, there might not be hope you might want to just but here's the way I look at things As my friend Dennis Cohen said He said love is a risk And yet it's still the best game in town folks I crawled through glass because I knew at the other end it was worth it when you see an olympic athlete Train day in day out day in day out day in day out day in day out It's because they have a vision in their life of what they want Don't focus on the end goal of the listen Instead of focusing on the end goal of the guy act as if it's in your life right now God universe spirit. I'm experiencing amazing chemist or amazing relationship where we have Just off the charts chemistry with one another and our communication With one another is so amazing and the banter can go on for hours and hours of the time And our lives are so aligned with one another and blendable with one another That it's made it easy for us to be in this relationship And we share the same values that allow us to be able to navigate the difficulties in relationship with greater ease And we built the deep roots of trust We built the deep roots of trust that will sustain our relationship when sometimes the waters get rough in front of us God universe spirit. I have this I experience this in my life right now folks You can think about in the future or you can do What happened in the movie with kevin costner filled the dreams build it and they will come My coaching is all about encouraging you to build it from the inside out So you can actually become a magnetic attractor. So I you're one of those people that calls me up and says jonathan I met a great guy Schedule a call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you So I went on a little rant right there. Thank you so much for that question. I am one. I really appreciate it All right, michelle says so true Uh gen four says i'm tired of dating coaches say he needs to feel good around you and he'll have to be positive It's bull crap. You should just be yourself I know here's the thing I feel great around my partner. There's no doubt about the idea of feeling good around your partner There's no doubt about that But ultimately there are a lot of other moving parts that make my relationship work We have good communication with one another our lifestyles were blendable We shared the same values and it's because and we're both emotional grown-ups If we weren't both emotional grown-ups this relationship never would have taken off the ground She's probably more grown-up than I am All right, I'm gonna try to hold on one second I'm gonna try to turn this Okay A little of that back drop in All right, thank you so much for that gen. I really appreciate it holly says Question what dating sites do you recommend for a relationship? Well, I happen to meet my beloved on match.com We were also on a dating site called millionaire match, which Actually, she believes we first connected there Earlier before them the time we actually did connect that we both remember There's okay cupid. There's um Her son met his wife on uh On his her son. Okay. She has two sons that are married her her Seconds or her second oldest son met his wife on e harmony and his oldest son met his wife on bumble So a bumble hinge of the you know, I'm not a big fan of tinder for whatever reason, but you can you listen You have to understand with swipe dating apps We bastardized the process of discounting people We bastardized the the mating process because we discount people by swiping Left Okay, and when you've swiped left so many times you start feeling there's nobody good out there The dating sites at least have more robust information like match.com Okay, cupid e harmony now many of you are going to complain about e harmony, but hey Her son met his wife on e harmony. So there are a lot of people that have met through e harmony So I wouldn't discount it completely But those are I I'm a big fan of match.com and I'm certainly a fan of Millionaire match because I met amazing women on a millionaire match All right, let's see what else we have going here Jonathan Jentee says Jonathan you have changed so much in the past few months You know what being in love and being happy will do that for you. So I'm very grateful for that All right Let's see. Oh my god. We have so many questions Okay, corny cob writes Question do you think raising children together increases the need for compatible values? Past baby making years perhaps issues can be easily ignored Well, whether you're raising children or not I think raising children it's it's hugely important to be on the same page with one another when it comes to values Without it. Well, it should be that because you're instilling those values in children That's the same time those values will probably Um You know blend in with your adult life. So yeah, I'm it's so important to share the same values with one another Listen, let me give me an example where people might be misaligned in values One person might be a vegan doesn't eat red meat And they might believe that animals are precious and they shouldn't be killed or slaughtered Another person doesn't have a problem with that That's a value around health and humanity That's different and that might be a very difficult challenge to Appreciate where one is on one side of the fence and the other person's on the other side Now one of my values is punctuality Now in the dating realm, I never held strict to that value because up until my beloved I've yet to meet a woman who's ever been on time for a date Thankfully she's as punctual as I am so I'm very grateful for that And I say this a little tongue-in-cheek. It's one of my values But it's one that I don't hold as much importance as maybe a healthy lifestyle Might be important to me or might be important to you So yes, I just believe that whether you're raising children or not your values being aligned is hugely important So thank you so much for that Michelle Morris says relationships take time take lots of work The work is really the effort to be aligned with one another. I'm in full agreement of that So thank you so much for that Let's see Corny Cobb has a personal question to ask me Any financial advice for youngsters? Would you buy gold? I know nothing about gold. So I'll pass on that one Uh, let's see Mary Ann says question Do you think the first step is to become comfortable with being alone to get to know yourself and give yourself time To just be and then things will start to turn around. Oh my god. I love this question Mary Ann You know, it's interesting. I was in a significant relationship the last six years It started about five years after my divorce It was an on again off again a relationship. I wasn't in the best place then um, so So, um The next five years of my life when that relationship ended in 2017 I didn't I barely dated I went on on a few first or second dates with someone I briefly dated someone for three weeks and for the most part I realized I had to learn to be comfortable being by myself I'm repeat that I had to learn to be comfortable to being by myself And in that space I actually was able to let go of the need to be in relationship And this really puts to a close this topic of timing I think what you just shared is an important facet of timing is that ability to Love your own company I reached that place of loving my own company And when I reached that place She was just around the corner. I wasn't attached to the outcome of whether or not I found my mate I knew it would happen I operate from a place of knowing and so I invite you all to do the personal development the self-help and spiritual work So you can be in that place and also not attached to the outcome and learn What I talk about in my book what the heck is self-love anyway learn to just love your own company and when you're in that timing You might attract someone who's also in that timing and I thank you so much for that question Marianne All right, I noticed there was a super sticker of five dollars and fifty five cents from celeste. Thank you so much Folks, this has been a fun broadcast. I really appreciate it Um As you can see The backdrop uh now you can see the ocean and the backdrop over there The sun's just set over there. I still haven't built out the uh the balance of my studio But for now we'll try to shoot videos from this angle and see if the sun Isn't going to be beaming so much to wipe me out I want to thank you all for this opportunity to share with you. You are so I Really appreciate all the kindness love and care many of you have expressed towards me and certainly my relationship as well as the content I'm not here to blow smoke up your ass. I'm here to give it to you straight the way I see it's the world according to jonathan sometimes But this world has been built on over 3000 hours of personal development workshops trainings Uh studying videos and books that I've read along with the 28 000 hours of coaching. I've amassed in the last 15 years So I'm not speaking about little techniques. Uh text this to get your ex back I want you to find the love within yourself so you can actually become a magnetic attractor for the relationship you want And I hope I encourage you all to find that Mate within yourself All right, I think this will be a great place to wrap up this video first off I'm going to give myself a big gigantic jonathan bear hug Next I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives I want to thank Cindy and holly and corny cob and christine uh And celeste and gen x and am one and uh kathy And amilia and jamie all of you. Thank you so much. God bless you. Have a great evening. Bye now