 but let us look at the etiquette and you see when you read islamic teachings you will come across terminology as zafaf zafaf meaning the night when the husband goes to his wife meaning the night you send your son to his wife or you send the daughter to the house of her husband so therefore we going to look at the etiquette that we need to uphold before we send our daughters to the house of their marriage one there must be a small ceremony I don't know maybe that is what you call mendee or whatever I don't know but that one I don't know where it come from but maybe it's one of them there must be a ceremony this is based on the rewire of Ahlelvaj it's a small ceremony maybe that's the one you call reception fire where you call especially family members according to islam and close friends when they come there what are they coming to do they must do tahalilat what tahamidat la ilaha illallah alhamdulillah subhanallah that has to be chanted and to be recited during that gathering when after that there will be no gathering but to send the girl back to the house of her husband that will be the same night that will be after three days but that gathering there must be a lot of the praises of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala but today unfortunately some of us when we come to the mosque for marriage to be contracted we become like angels during our receptions harams take place haram take place unfortunately mix gathering without control haram haram you've already destroyed the bridge you are building when you gather for reception where you preparing this boy and this girl for the next social life there must be only praises of Allah hence you find when Amir al-Mu'minin our beloved imam got married to our beloved mom baby Fatima Rasool Allah invited all the daughters of Abdul Mutallib and then the women of Ansari and the women of Mohajireen and they all came together what were they doing they were only chanting the praises of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that was after the marriage was contracted now after this so try to avoid the haram this is your specialty make sure everything is done in accordance to the teachings of Islam two is the advices of the parents Islam highly encouraged that father more sit with your daughter who is going somewhere father more sit with your son who is welcoming a wife give them your advice now give us a guiding principle on how to advise them today we don't follow this thing that's why we struggle in our marriage divorce divorce divorce some are in marriage but they are like in Jahannam because every day fight there is no peace they will experience peace maybe for a week or month after that another problem we need to follow the teachings of Allah to build a very strong community according to the appearance of the awaited saviour two, your advices like Agha, sister Sukaina ok haji, Waluji or you must sit with your daughters and your sons that is the second and after your advice they are going to be taking home your advice must be something less than they have to be taking to where they belong to what are the general principles of the advice now you have to advise them on khushu khushu Islam said the first advice you offer is khushu priority love of Allah look at your son and tell him look at your daughter and tell her you know how we raise you we raise you a good muslim a good shi'a a good lover of Ahlulbayt I want to see more of that in this marriage number two guiding principle Islam says advise them on the question of khana satisfaction advise your daughter be satisfied with the little that your husband comes advise your son be satisfied with how your wife tries a level best to show you the love don't demand the miracle from her you also don't demand the miracle from him and the third one Islam says advise them on khushu to be obedient to one another you have your own way on how you are going to advise and then you advise the fourth one Islam says tell her Abide you are going to that family they are now your family and tell your son also the girl you are marrying worth she is from a family that family are now your family and tell her I don't want to hear anything bad about the family from you and you also I don't want to hear anything bad when there is a problem solve it between the two of you I don't want to hear this is how parents should advise a Rasool Allah did that with Fatima Tazzahera he sat down Ameer al-Mu'mineen ish ma'asum olai kainat Fatima the mother of ma'asumeen she is kawthar but upon all that Rasool Allah before sending Fatima to the house of Ameer and advise baby Fatima aleyha s-salam hence when you look at Abdullah Jafar al-Tayyar we have so many advices Jafar al-Tayyar when one of his daughters got married he advised her of treatings the first advice he gave his daughter is don't be too possessive and jealous you know today this thing is killing us even there are some women you are standing with only your male friend it becomes a fraud so now you father this is the advice you have to advise her and number two advice Jafar al-Tayyar gave his daughter oh my daughter try as much as you can not to point to the wrongs of your husband some of them ignore it if you want to pick up every mistake there will be no marriage these are your duties our fathers and mothers and I see hardly we do that we hardly have time and this is the most important aspect of the marriage because your daughter is going to represent you in that house and your son also is going to represent you in that family so ensure that the good name of your family is protected and preserved and then the last one Jafar al-Tayyar advises daughter is that your daughter always look presentable look presentable dress properly for your husband dress properly for your wife so number two is the advice number three etiquette the ladies have to send the girl to the house of their husband and this has to be close close family they should send her to the house and islamically the husband should be in the house before they come so you are in the room and they are bringing her and islam says when they are taking her there because they are ladies they are in the car they have to only chant the praises of Allah سبحان الله و الحمد لله ولا إله إلا الله الله أكبر الله أكبر و لله الحمد سامطن happen to Fatima al-Hassalam look at the house of Rasool Allah and the house of Bibi Fatima but he got people like Ummu Aiman, Asma all of them escorted Fatima to al-Zahra but Islam says my sister my mom when you take the daughter to the house of her husband immediately leave the house immediately that's why she when they took Fatima Rasool was there the Rasool asked all of them to go out and he ask Ummu Aiman and Asma just to be at the door to asha everybody out then after that he left them Fatima with Amir al-Mu'mine