 I was in a relationship for four years, and I really thought I would get married to this person, and then he just randomly got engaged with someone else, and it's been eight months. So my first question is, so I've been trying to move on, and I've been trying to do things that would help me get him out of my system, but he's still in my system, like when I close my eyes, like when I'm meditating or throughout the day, and when I wake up, and first I want to ask how do I get this person out of, I feel like it's inside, how do I get this person out so I can move, so I don't think about him, and I can concentrate on my work. My second question to this is, can I still keep... I want to move on, but I still want to keep some hope that if he does return, is that a health need to do, or can I do that or not? If this is a connection where you are really daily and literally every single day sort of plagued by that thought is like when you wake up in the morning and it goes through the day, and it simply doesn't stop day after day after day after day, and when it goes on for months like that, then it is not... it doesn't feature in what one would call a normal breakup or a normal story. So there are certain connections, soul connections which are much more challenging in the sense that there is a karmic connection from past associations along the genetic line and so on, and this is something more intense, actually much more happening there. I think the most, and it's difficult I guess to actually accept this to start with, but it is a very, very important way to handle something of this nature and what can actually bring quiet into this whole thing is if you really start to tune into your soul. Surrender is the key. Surrender. It is not detachment. So whenever you detach from anything, if you say I'm not this and I'm not that and I'm not the other, for example, I'm not that pain, you are actually empowering that very thing even by the fact of conceptually detaching from it. So the way that actually takes this or this system into greater states of joy is in those very moments when the pain is at its maximum, which can be any time during a day, that you actually start to move into a surrender state towards the soul. It is not you identifying with the soul. It is not an I am posture, but I am this surrendering to this, to the soul, to that actually. Now, when you do that and especially in an experience like the one you are having which does not fall into the category of normal break ups, then all the more the way to actually find quiet in that story without losing the possibility of a future connection with that person is to actually when the pain hits to move into surrender state just as you would actually with any pain or any suffering because pain or suffering means the ego is in action. It can't mean anything else. That is the ego in action. So in that moment when you move into the surrender state, then you are moving on, but you are not moving on away from the reality of that challenging connection, but you are moving into connection with the soul, the master of the being, the Antar Guru, that individualized cosmic soul that as the Antar Atman is connected with you from your childhood, from the time you were born actually, you have that as your master and that is the entity or the instance that is impulsing every single movement of this from moment to moment to moment. Now, what one calls that love pain is so intense it's very hard to actually accept that the way out is the way in, you know, what I mean. But it is indeed the only way because something like this can go on for years and it's not every second day but every day, every single day from morning to night, you know and it's a racking pain, it's not something simple but remember that when that emotional pain is there, it is the ego that is attacking the system, the materiality of your system, the cellular materiality and so you have to protect the system from that attack by tuning inward to the soul and seeing what that experience of surrender actually brings in that moment and what it brings is instant relief from the emotional pain because surrender is actually the one thing that transforms the environment because what you're doing when you surrender is you're not allowing the ego to take over in that moment. You're actually, without looking at the ego, you are repelling its action which is different from if you say this pain is not me you're still looking at the pain, detaching from it, but its presence you're still aware of. Still your soul to surrender, how would you practice that? What's your name? Fagun. Fagun is the one that actually makes the decision in that moment to allow this entire system to bend down and surrender to what? To that one thing that her system actually knows because and knows fully because she knows it from childhood when the ego was hardly there, when the conditioning was hardly there. It is something known, it is deep and it is almost imperceptible in its impulse. It is what you call the soul, the antar guru, the antar atman and that is what Fagun bends down to in that moment of pain and the pain dissipates instantly. It is a posture of humility, of humbleness, of surrender, of being actually the servant, the instrument of the soul. As you do this, that pain that dares to arise will gradually dissipate. It's a matter of days and weeks and then I have to tell you something very interesting. So if you're connecting that deeply with the soul then that connect is mirrored also. It's always mirrored. Every time you bend down to the soul as the master you bend down to the soul and the other as the master. So the ego is out of that play. And then why would this other person actually not connect with you? There's no reason why they wouldn't. The connect opens up then. It is because you are caught in the pain of the ego that there is no way that other person can connect with you because then they would connect with pain. So for a force you would actually bring the connect in if you connect with the truth rather than with the pain and this applies to all relationships, all relationships. That connect will come in what form is a different question but because you ask me is there a way to leave something like that open and yet move on, you move on to the soul. That's where you move. And yet that connect not only remains open but it's going to open its doors to you. That is for sure that I can assure you. When I am in connection, when I'm in surrender to the soul then the other has to because I'm not in pain. How will the other connect with me if I'm in pain? It's an immediate rejection because no being wants to connect with pain. So when you move into a state of quietitude, of surrender mainly that's the main thing surrender, bend down. This is yours. This is your instrument. This is the instrument of you, the truth, master of my beings. The moment there's pain the doors will close. The moment there's truth all the doors open. Moving on is not moving from this guy to the next to the next to the next. You have to move inward in surrender in order for that thing to settle down and for connections to open up. Please, please, please do it. Go there. There have been many who have done it and it actually does lead to what it's meant to lead to which is quiet and connection. Please. I know the pain you are undergoing. It's not something small.