 So I don't believe that you have any social obligations other than to leave your neighbor alone That is not to infringe on his right to pursue his happiness But I don't consider a relationship with a child or relationship with your parents a social They your relationships the your obligations if they are obligations Now I Think there's a difference when you're talking about with a child or with a parent and I'm gonna say something controversial And my son's in the room, which makes it even more complicated. I Don't think children owe anything to their parents I don't think children owe anything to their parents except to the extent that they love them if you love somebody then that love Determines your relationship with them, but you don't owe them anything for bringing you into this world. You didn't ask for it There's no contractor right you are not obliged to your parents other than you know You have to do it. They tell you to do up until a certain age and if they pay for your college and stuff Then I think you owe them something in gratitude for that, but if you don't love your parents And I think there are plenty of people who don't love their parents I think there's a biblical commandment that they'll show whatever to your parents But that's just a commandment most a lot of people not most people a lot of people don't love their parents because their parents didn't Earn it the parents are not that good and our nice people You shouldn't love people who are not nice. You're not automatically obliged to love anybody anybody Everybody's love needs to be earned So I don't think so if you love your older parents and you feel You know part of your happiness is in helping them out when they're sick then do it Absolutely, you should do it But it has to be in the context of your happiness if it's a sacrifice to help your elderly parents You should not do it. It's your life. Your life is not theirs You own your life not your parents So, you know, you should help their parents to the extent that it's part of your life Now I think most of us love our parents and want to help them and don't want to see them suffer Most of us would help our parents, but I don't condemn somebody who doesn't who says you know what I don't like my parents I'm not gonna help them when they're old fine. I think that's perfectly it's different with children You brought them into the world They are your responsibility Even if you don't like them even if you don't love them You took on an obligation when you had them. You didn't have to have sex. You could have used birth control You could still in this country have an abortion Right once you chose to have the child you have taken on a mountain of obligation It's a mountain don't have kids if you're not willing to take it on you don't sleep the first couple of years They cost you, you know, I did the calculation once it's an astronomical amount of money Particularly if you're gonna pay with them for college They're a huge huge responsibility in buddhan. You should only do it if you really want to but once you do it You're locked in. It's like you know you you you you sign a contract to buy a house You bought it right you sign the country you bought you might hate the house after you move in you might regret doing it But it's your house With a child you can't sell it without she can sell so But that's why having children is such a huge deal Nobody should have children until they are committed to having children. Nobody should have children until they're sure that's what they want That's why I think it's actually a healthy thing that Americans are having children later in life Because I think they're more mature and they realize what they're doing and they're taking on the obligation much more consciously versus 67 years ago when when people would get married in they in their late teens early 20s and just have kids Automatically and then suddenly realize oh my god You know I've taken on this obligation without having the maturity the wealth or the other or the thought That that's involved in doing it So I think it's a very different type of relationship with children You are obliged because you took on that responsibility, but you chose it you can't say somebody forced me With parents you don't have that obligation But it's certainly part of most of our lives because we do love our parents. I think you had a question right I suppose my questions a similar sort of vibe in terms of Caring about other people or looking after you say like the mother Teresa example If she generally got pleasure or satisfaction from helping other people was purely selfish Would that sort of go against what yours your example then no if she'd actually got pleasure that is if she Had sat down and said you know I love helping other people. This is it's like teaching right I can really help them become better human beings I can I can help them rise up and she would have enjoyed it absolutely to rat being a social worker is Not an irrational profession. You can be a social worker rationally. That's not what she did by the way, right? She didn't help them become better She helped them stay poor because she believed the Porsche inherit the earth like the Michelin into earth So she she discouraged them from getting an education. She discouraged them from trying to rise up and become middle-class I mean, I truly believe Mother Teresa was a horrible human being I mean, I'm on record on video saying that because I think it's true and she didn't pursue Helping other people rationally in terms of her own values in terms of make and as a consequence She was miserable. I mean if you read the diary She was even doubting the existence of God and she didn't know why she was doing this And I mean it's it's very difficult when you commit yourself out of a sense of duty And that's the difference. So I'm all for helping other people. I you know, I love people. I'm not gonna help bad people Hitler can come and I don't you know, I'll help shoot him. I'm not helping him, right? So You want to help people who you have identified as good or who are innocent Who you've fallen a bad times for no fault of one I have a soft spot for children because I think they are innocent Right to the extent that they they're poor or whatever. It's not their fault. It's kind of you know, it's either their parents fault Or it's just it's the way it is. So But you don't want to just be random in your help. You don't want to help it. So I'll help children But I'm not gonna help them at the expense of my kids So my kids come first. I don't buy this love the neighbor like yourself. Sorry. I mean I love my name. I don't love some of my neighbors. Some of my neighbors I hate some of my neighbors I like none of them do I really love and none of them come close to how much I love myself and Their kids. I mean if there's a burning house, who am I gonna save my kids or their kids? I mean, who are you gonna save? See, I'm gonna do it and I'm not gonna feel guilty about I'm gonna say my kids You're gonna save some of you will save your kids and feel guilty about not having to save their kids Because that's how you were brought up. I reject that. I You know, it's my life. I'm gonna pursue my values And I'm gonna help people that I think deserve help and that I get something out of helping Am I gonna help strangers? Sure, you know, if it doesn't cost me too much You know, but if somebody's drowning people always give me the drowning example, right? There's somebody drowning do you jump in and help them? What depends? It depends is it is it a ocean in which the probability of me dying is 99% I'm not jumping in. Sorry Not my job. Now if I was if I was a lifeguard, it's my job my Responsibility going back to a spot. I signed a contract then I do it. It's not my job Is there is the risk minor and it's just a matter of effort Sure, human life is incredibly valuable and I would go and jump in and save them But the fact is and we all know this that you're gonna make a risk assessment of what's the cost? You know every day every American chooses not to help dying children Right because the dying children in Africa and you could write a check You could write a check, but you choose to let them die Rather than give up whatever money it would take to write the check and that's okay. That's actually good Because your life comes first And you shouldn't give up that nice meal You shouldn't give up the college education shift give up to help kids in Africa And I'm saying it bluntly even though all of you kind of feel a little uncomfortable with this, right? But it's the reality and we all do it all the time. We all make choices about ourselves. I'm saying stop feeling guilty for it You don't owe that kid anything I mean, it's sad and I feel sad when I see it, but you don't owe it's not your fault and you don't you are not responsible You're responsible for you And that responsibility doesn't mean to be callous It means to be thoughtful It needs to be rational needs to be figured out what is really good for you and kids that are close By are gonna be are gonna get more of my help than kids that are far away because they impact my life more because I'm being selfish We have to cut lunch food. Thank you