Ballad to the Buffy Big Bads #2 -- based on a true love story!!! (Lyrics below.)
You swept into the lair with your tractor beam stare
And dusted that anointed little brat.
Then your lovely lips rattled some insane psychobabble.
That was that.
You were with someone else from the start.
Watching you like blood off his cheek was a stake to my heart.
Drusilla, Drusilla, with you I am obsessed.
No mirror in the universe could reflect your loveliness.
Ever since your debut on Buffy Season 2,
You've driven me crazy like Angel did to you.
Drusilla, how I want you, but also I confess
One love bite might send me into cardiac arrest.
But if I arose, I'd be yours eternally.
When Spike left you for the slayer, it was my prayer that you would run to me.
But be careful what you wish for, at least that's what they say.
I never did believe them until that fateful day
Outside a club in Hollywood, we met.
But instead of Dru, you called yourself Juliet.
And you acted like you weren't crazy,
You spoke with an American accent,
You stood directly in the sunlight,
And you survived!!!
Those three little syllables knocked me to my knees.
That Juliet, that one word Juliet, hath slain a thousand fantasies,
And raised the critical question in me:
Do I only love you for the vampire you play on TV?
And even as Drusilla, I seriously doubt
A loving, long relationship ever could work out.
Despite my unquenchable lust,
We'd probably turn each other to dust.
Oh Drusilla, I still-a adore you to excess,
And being a work of fiction doesn't make me love you less.
But since our future holds no guarantees,
I'll keep our love story tucked away in my box
Of Buffy DVDs.