 family meeting we got an issue the church's response to pornography over the last decade or so has had some missteps and there's been some a few observations that I've had over the last few years that I just need to highlight because it's breaking my heart some the like just the the tragedy of this whole situation and how we've addressed it in not good ways that has led a lot of people into hurt so there are two big problems here the first big problem is that although we've been good about speaking up about pornography in context to men we've said hey man you know you got to be aware of this it's a distortion it's a lie it's perverted you know this is an issue that you're gonna encounter unfortunately sometimes and I've observed this firsthand we've used language that kind of tells men that it's no big deal because every guy experiences it right it's like you're gonna you know you're gonna see pornography the probability that you're gonna watch it is really high the probability that lots of guys in this room are gonna watch it is really high and you need to be aware because every man is gonna battle with this or is it gonna watch pornography I can say firsthand the fact that I when I struggle with lust and I and I've used the excuse oh well you know a lot of guys struggle with this it's not a big deal you know I'm just one the same as everybody else right if you're a guy I'd ask you have used that same justification as well because I know I have the second big problem is that we have not talked about pornography nearly enough if at all in context to women so we've kind of shut that off for them we've we've said this is like pretty much a hundred percent a men's issue women you know never need to deal with this so you know at the youth group they're doing something completely different when well men are having you know the the teen boys are having the pornography talk the girls are talking about something else you guys can tell me what you guys are talking about um in the comments down below but the problem is is that because girls are going to encounter pornography it's just going to happen they don't have the resources to deal with it meanwhile men like from the age of 12 13 14 you know pornography and is being talked about it's like hey be aware of this is going to be an issue for girls I just haven't seen that be the case and based on kind of the videos that spurred this video on from tiktok it seems like a lot of girls weren't told about the dangers of pornography and given some practical tools and resources in order to avoid it break free from it and so what that leads them to and I've heard I've heard numerous stories so I'm just kind of relaying that to you here it leads them to shame it leads them to places of suppression and saying okay look you know why do you know no I guess no girls deal with this it's just me and I'm all on my own so kind of two different ends of the spectrum right so guys who's like oh every guy does it so it's kind of justifying me taking pardon in and for girls it's like I guess nobody does it even though that's that's not true but girls feel isolated and they're not given the resources necessary to actually combat it in a biblical way okay so here's my humble submission in how we can maybe provide a little bit of a course correct for guys and I've talked a lot about pornography on this channel and I never want guys to feel like and I'm talking to guys here because I'm going to talk to girls in a second but I never want guys to feel like you know the fact that so many guys struggle with pornography that gives them license to you know partake in it to watch it or or just you know indulge in it because you know all the guys do it kind of thing but I also don't want to be uncompassionate I don't know if that's that's a word but to the struggle and the real the real tension that's going on there so you know I don't want to be like you know just you know do what you gotta do and you know yell at people or whatever and not take into account the real challenge that it is for guys so I want to my goal is to establish a little bit of balance and so take the thought that a lot of guys do struggle with lust as more of a motivation to pour into your brothers and check up on them and be accountability for them and be a leader in that way and not to stoop to their level okay that would be my messaging okay my kind of course correcting I'm not saying that's perfect but that's kind of where I I land on this we gotta be pursuing holiness and not sinking to the level of the lowest common denominator I don't know if that's right analogy but you know what I'm saying so for girls what are we gonna do I think we gotta be more open about the fact that girls do struggle with pornography I think older women in the church are gonna need to do some catch up here so for older men in the church they've already experienced kind of pornography in the sense of maybe that was magazines whether that was whatever you know whatever else during their growing up period and now in the digital age they're becoming more of a resource to the young men in their lives to help them break free from it because they know kind of what's going on they're a lot of them are aware of the whole situation and dynamic and how really toxic and distorted and perverted a lot of the online space can be so they're they're being more of a resource to the guys for the girls I think a lot of the older women that you would hope to be kind of a resource in that area they haven't experienced pornography in this digital age to the degree where they can really help the younger women in the church and so that's that's a big issue right so as guys I think we can help the girls out by becoming a little bit more vocal by not singling it off to just hey this is the guys struggle this is I'm trying to change my language on that I'm trying to be more welcoming to to the girls that struggle in this area I don't want you know I used to just be like oh guys it's you know this is this is our thing because that was the messaging that I was given but hearing so many of these girls come forward and say hey I struggle with this too and yet nobody's talking to us about it it breaks my heart because there's so much hurt there's so much pain there's so much shame there that just shouldn't it shouldn't need to stay that way because when we enter sin right when we're in we're stuck in a cycle of sin it's not about it's not about just convincing yourself that it's not a sin so it's not just saying oh it's okay the way you are or you know just chill it's no big deal but we need the resources and help to actually begin to break that cycle that begins with God that begins to coming to Christ if we're not already there but then from there it's having his power in his presence transform us from the inside out pouring into Christian community where people can come alongside us and say hey look I see you're you're struggling with this or we can speak up about our own struggle creating those places of of curious and compassionate community that aren't immediately judgmental towards the people or condemning but also aren't just going to be oh you know it's all good you know boys will be boys or girls will be girls or any of that kind of thing right because we need to be pursuing holiness so if I could summarize this video guys if you hear that a lot of you know men struggle with pornography or lust don't take that as license to partake or indulge in those things seek Christ flee the things of the flesh flee sexual immorality and pursue Christ and for the girls that you feel like you're alone you're you're caught in the cycle of sin you feel isolated I want you to know that we are with you that we recognize that this is a struggle that you go through as well but also that there is so much freedom in community and pouring into the one that is set us free and can lead us into victory he's given you his power and his presence in your life so that you can overcome these things I have plenty of videos about overcoming pornography so if that's something you want to begin I'd ask you to visit the playlist in the link in my bio and just begin by watching those videos they'll give you some practical steps and I think they're gonna really begin you on the journey to freedom and victory in this area thank you so much for watching guys I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments down below and more particularly your experience with the church and how they've talked about pornography or in different Christian circles and how that's affected you in your life and maybe some of the things that you're learning and how you talk about it and encourage other believers in the faith I want to give a huge shout out to my patrons on patreon it is because of you guys that I can make these videos that I'm so passionate about so thank you for supporting my mission of helping people follow Jesus daily until next time guys I'll see you later God bless