 The Craft Foods Company presents the Great Gildersleeve. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the Great Gildersleeve starring Harold Perry, brought to you by the Craft Foods Company, makers of parquet margarine, and a complete line of famous quality food products. Like a lot of people these days, Gildersleeve lately has been taking stock of himself and of his prospects for the future. Now when a man gets so low in his mind that he's willing to face the ugly truth about himself, there's usually some dear friend who can be counted on to help rub it in. You know what the trouble with you is, Gilder? No. You want me to tell you? No. You really want to know? No. What? You're lazy. I am not. You wanted to know. What makes you say I'm lazy? Because you loaf around here trying to make a career for a part-time job. Water commissioner? That's one of the biggest jobs. It's a political sinecure, and if you don't know it, you're the only man in town who doesn't. Hooker? Look at your predecessor, Clanahan. He was not only water commissioner. He was in the contracting business. He was in the sand and gravel business. He was... He was a crook. Granted. But if you had the slightest bit of get-up-and-go, you'd be out rastling around trying to stir up something too. Something that would bring you in a little income instead of just sitting here complaining. I'll tell you what's the matter with you, my friend. You've made a career out of boondoggling. Oh! I only tell you these things for your own good, Gilly. Hooker, I doubt if I'll ever speak to you again as long as I live. A friendship. But a few days later, the seed the judge had planted bore fruit. Raking your leaves, I see. Yes, doing a little raking. Gardener usually does it, but... I ought to rake mine, too. I have to speak to Leroy about that. Your place looks very nice. Thanks. Oh, say, gildishly. Yes? I've been meaning to speak to you. You've lived in summer feel longer than I have. Yes? I have a little problem. You see, I have a married sister. Her husband passed on recently, and I sort of have her on my hands. A widow, eh? Unfortunately. Although her husband never amounted to much in a business way, but it was a loss. The point is, I'd like to bring her here to summer feel if I could find a house for her. You don't happen to know of one. What's the matter with the house next door to me there? Mrs. Ransom's house. Ideal house for a widow. This sister is younger than you, you say? Older. Oh. No. No, I looked into that house a little. It seems to be all tied up in some estate. I don't know that it'd be quite suitable anyway. You see what I want? Well, I don't want a great big house, but on the other hand... Ah, you want something suitable. That's right, something suitable. How high would you be willing to go? Well, I know you have to pay for houses these days. You said it. But as long as it's not too far out of line... Mr. Bullard, I'm glad you spoke to me. I'll go right to work on it. You know of a house? I might. Whose? That would be telling, Mr. Bullard. But don't you worry, you just leave it in my hands and I'll get you a house. I'm not thinking of selling him this house. Gosh, where would we live? Yeah, that's the hitch. But there he is, money running right out of his ears practically. And he wants a house the worst way. Anki, you've got to learn not to get excited every time somebody comes along and wants to buy the house. Now, it's happened three times in the last year and every time we've had to go through this. I know, but it seems such an opportunity, darn it. I tell you, there are fortunes to be made in real estate today. Children, fortunes. Why don't you go in the business? I'm thinking seriously of it, Leroy. Thinking seriously of it. Let's see now. What would I need? You'd need some real estate. Well, not necessarily. That's not the way they operate. You see, they get a commission for selling other people's real estate. Boy, that's some racket. We do not consider it a racket, Leroy. And I'll thank you not to call it that. Ours is a public service that fills a real need. Now, take Mr. Bullard, for instance. He needs a house for his widowed sister. He needs it real badly. But if he hadn't happened to come to me and I hadn't happened to be in the real estate business, he might never find one. I wonder where I'm going to find one. I wonder where you're going to find an office, even. Yeah, that too. Well, who needs an office? My office is in my hat. Where is my hat? On the floor. You just took it off. Oh. Hand me the wisp room there, my boy. I want to sweep out the office. What a character. Yes, sir, children. There are fortunes to be made in this business. A real estate man, Leroy, never tells anybody where he's going. Well, come in. Certainly glad I found you at home. I thought you weren't speaking to me, Gilda. I'm in the real estate business now, judge. I'm speaking to everybody. Real estate? Mm-hmm. Just a sideline. I never really considered the water department a full time. Job, you know. Huh. Judge, how'd you like to sell this shanty for $40,000? $40,000? In the neighborhood, I should imagine. Is this a bona fide offer? Absolutely. $14 carat, AA. Who's the client? That would be telling Horace. But he's well-heeled, believe me. Of course, that'd be the usual commission involved. Oh, you come over here as a friend. Not only a friend, judge, but a businessman, thanks to you. And business is business, you know. Take your time, judge. Think it over. Well, what's your answer? Well, I don't... Yes or no? Well, Gildy, I... Come, judge, how about it? I'm trying to decide. You don't need this great big house. You know you don't. Nobody in it but you and your housekeeper. You ought to be ashamed living in a great big house like this with all this housing shortage. But, Gildy, if I... It'll probably fall on you. I guarantee you'll spend more on repairs on this house in the next two years than it cost you originally. You don't want this house. Get rid of it. Sell it while the selling's good. But, Gildy... A $40,000 judge, cash on the line. What's your answer? Gildy, if I sold this house, where would I go? Nuts. If you had a place to go, would you sell it? I'd certainly consider it. All right, I'll find you a house. Gildy, what can I do? Pee-Vee, let me ask you something. Have you and Mrs. Pee-Vee ever thought of taking in a border? No, I can't say we ever have. No, we've been pretty fortunate that way. No, wait a minute. It might not be so bad, Pee-Vee. It might be worth considering. Why? Well, it'd be a chance to share expenses. Fill that extra room of yours and make a nice little profit out of it. Oh, I don't think Mrs. Pee-Vee or I would like to have an extra room. Come stumbling in at all hours of the night and knock over the potted plants. Well, suppose it wasn't a stranger. Suppose it was someone you knew. Someone you know very well. Who? Well, this is just an idea, Pee-Vee. But for the sake of argument, say it was someone like a... well, say, Judge Hooker, for instance. Well, what would a judge be like? I'm just saying, suppose. But suppose the judge liked the idea and you liked the idea. I don't know. You know, sometimes I worry about you, Pee-Vee. You and Mrs. Pee-Vee. Just two old souls living all alone there. You think what we need is another old soul, huh? Let me tell you something, Pee-Vee. A man couldn't have a better friend than Horace Hooker. Well, I guess that's true. He's sober, but he's not. I don't know. I don't know. You know, sometimes I worry about you, Pee-Vee. You and Mrs. Pee-Vee. Just two old souls living all alone there. Well, I guess that's true. He's sober. He's neat. He's dependable. Yes, he is. And above all, he's a gentleman. A gentleman and a scholar. Yes, he is. He's true blue, Hooker is. He's all wool and a yard white. Now go along with you there, too. He's good company. He's considerate of others. Oh, always. In fact, it's a positive pleasure just to have him around. What's more, he goes to bed early. Oh, I've always thought well of Judge Hooker. Judge has always been a real favorite of mine. Good customer, too. You bet he is. Why don't you offer him your extra room, Pee-Vee? See what he says. We have got an extra room. Now don't tell me that. I've been to your house. Oh, the parrot has that room. Well, for goodness' sake, can't you move him out? Mr. Gillespie, if Mrs. Pee-Vee ever came to a choice between me and that parrot, I know which one of us would have to go. Ye gods, foiled by a parrot. Have I got to move the old goat in with me? No, I can't. The old goat stay right where he is. Because, you dunce. I've got a chance to sell his house for $40,000. Guess I didn't tell you, Pee-Vee. I'm in the real estate game now. On the side. No. Why didn't you say so in your first place? You mean we might have made a deal? It's not too late, you know. Now, if you took the judge in... Mr. Gillespie, I have one answer. I give to all salesmen. Oh, what's that? Get out. Well, you never knew the great gilder sleeve to stay out and he'll be back in just a moment. You know, Mr. Lang, I was doing some shopping today for a Halloween party and I thought I'd try the same thing on my grocer that the children do to me. So I walked up to the counter and said, trick or treat, Mr. Gibson. And he said, you're in for a treat today. There's parquet margarine in the refrigerator. That really was a treat. You're telling me. I've been trying for days to get some parquet to serve with hot rolls at this party. Well, it looks as though your guests are going to be well served. And I admire you for sharing parquet with them when there's still such a scarcity of fine quality spreads for bread. But I know how it is. When a woman discovers parquet margarine's delicious country sweet flavor, she wants her friends to know about it too. It's like telling them about a favorite recipe. The spreading of the good word about this good spread has made parquet a favorite in millions of homes. So if you'd like to share in its goodness too, look first when you shop for delicious flavor fresh parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine, made by Kraft. Now let's get back to the great builder's sleeve, whom we find sitting quietly in the parlor of his home and castle. Let's see, we could put the old goat in the sewing room, I guess. That cart in there isn't so wonderful, but I doubt if he sleeps very well anyway. If he doesn't like it, he knows what he can do. There's worse fellows than Hooker to live with. I guess. He's clean. He's honest. Well, fairly honest. Hi, Anki. What are you doing? Just thinking, my dear. Thinking? Poor Anki. Don't you want the evening paper? No, thank you. I can think better without it. Okay, go ahead and think. I've got to study. Yes. Marjorie, Leroy, come here. I want to talk to you. Go ahead. I can hear you. I don't wish to shout. Come over here, please. You too, Leroy. Now, leave your nose alone, Leroy. And itches. Use your handkerchief. Oh, Judge Hooker is coming to supper tonight. I know. I heard you tell Bertie. Yes, but this is going to be a sort of, well, a special occasion. His birthday? No, but I want him to have a wonderful time. Do you hear? I want him to feel at home. He always does. He always goes to sleep on the sofa after supper. Well, I want him to feel particularly at home this evening. To feel he's a member of the family. I want him to feel what he's missing, living all alone there in that great big old house. I don't get it. Neither do I. Do you want to make him feel good or feel bad? Children? How would you like it if the judge came to live with us? Are you kidding? Of course he is. I am not. I think it would be nice to have the judge living with us. And I want you children to make the prospect very attractive to him. Anki, what a terrible idea. Now, don't get panicky. It won't be so terrible, my dear. You mean he'd sleep here on everything? Certainly. Sleep here, take his meals here, just like one of the family. But what's the idea? The judge is getting along OK where he is. Why louse us up? That's not a very friendly spirit, my boy. Let's think of the other, shall we? Judge Hooker, all alone over there. Anki, there's something more to this. Why should you start worrying about Judge Hooker all of a sudden? My dear, I have reasons. Good and sufficient reasons. As I say, the main idea is I'm sorry for the judge. He's getting old now. He ought to be surrounded by younger people. And then, besides the confounded, I've told you we have to cut down expenses. The judge would be a paying guest. Oh, so that's it. But why him? There's lots of people looking for rooms. The man that delivers the groceries is looking for a room. He has to sleep in his truck every night. He's a swell guy, too, Anki. He's double-jointed. Can't we have him? We're not going to have some Tom, Dick and Harry living with a sleeroy. Judge Hooker is an old friend. It'll be a pleasure to have him with us. A pleasure for him and a pleasure for us. You understand? Never mind whether you understand or not. When he gets here tonight, you'll be just as charming as you know how. That's something I don't know much about. Then you'd better be even more so. Come in out of the wintry blast. Remove your outer garments and rest your bones by our roaring fire. Jeepers, they're shooting the works. Marjorie, take the judge's coat, my dear. I'm going to ascend as he gets it off. Here. My George, it's good to have you with us, Horace. It's good to be with you. Let's all go in the living room, shall we? I know Birdie will have supper ready in just a few minutes. I'm hungry. What are we having? Whatever Birdie gives us, we know it'll be delicious. Don't we? Yes, indeed. As long as it isn't leftovers. Leeroy. Marjorie, let's let Judge Hooker have the sofa, shall we? Oh, never mind, never mind. I'd like to stand here in front of the fire for a moment. Toast my coattails as my grandfather used to say. Very good. Very good. Leeroy, I haven't seen you in quite some little time. What have you been doing? Nothing. School work, keeping you pretty busy, is it? I suspect you find time for a game of catch now, and then just the same. Catch? Leeroy's getting more homework now, Judge. He's quite a student. I'm glad to hear it. Have you learned to parse a sentence, Leeroy? Pardon? Learning to parse an English sentence is the beginning of a real education. I daresay your sister can tell you all about it. I never heard of it. My dear. What is it? My golly, there's modern education. If they don't teach them English grammar, what do they teach them? Yes, yes. My George, it's good to have you with us, Horace. Good to be with you. Is that a new suit, Judge? No, indeed. I bought this suit in 1932. Jeepers, it's older than me. This is Worcestered, this suit. Not an unfinished Worcestered, mind you. A hard Worcestered. It's a material that wears like iron. Looks like iron. It's a funny thing that I can't keep a suit that long, that no matter what it's made of. Well, there are one or two simple rules for a man who wants his clothes to last. I learned them from my father, and they've saved me a pretty penny in the course of the years. Pay attention, Leroy. This is something you'll want to remember. I never wear the same suit two days in succession. Wear it today, take it off, hang it up carefully. Wear another suit tomorrow. It's very important to give the fabric a rest. You don't say. That's the whole trick. I rotate my suits. I've got suits I've had for 20 years that look almost as good as the day I bought them. Remarkable. Isn't it, Leroy? Yeah. Do you hear that, Marjorie? How the judge makes his suits last? Yes, it was very interesting. Let's go sleep. Something's on the table. Yeah! Something's on the table! Leroy, we do not race our guests to the table. I'm hungry! Just wait for the rest of us. Good evening, birdie. Good evening, judge. Marjorie, will you take my arm? What? Oh. Fine to have him with us, isn't it, my dear? What have we here? Something special, Mr. Gilseave, in honor of Judge Hilker. Oh, birdie, you shouldn't. Well, Mr. Gilseave told me he wanted you to enjoy yourself especially, so I've done what I could. Birdie, your humblest effort is invariably successful. Well, I hope you like it. I heard this one on the radio. Can't quite make out what it is. I've passed this to the judge. Will you, birdie? Yes, sir. Will you forgive me if I take my vitamins before I start, Throckmorton? Marjorie? No, no. Go right ahead, Liberty Hall, Horace. Dr. Pettibone recommended these things, and I must say I've had a better appetite and more pep, too. The blue box is A, B1, and E. The yellow box is D and G. That ought to fix whatever's wrong with you, Horace. For Marjorie, birdie. The A vitamin helps my eyes. B1 tones up the nervous system. E is for... Excellent. That will do, Leeroy. E is for something, rather. And then D is the sunshine vitamin. And G is for... Guildersleep. Leeroy. Okay, can I start now, Wonk? You may. What is this? Oh, oh. Yes. What is it, birdie? Well, I wanted to fix something with the judge's special diet. This is eggplant pie. Delicious, birdie. Simply delicious. Yes, isn't it? Yum, yum. Birdie, you've done it again. Eat it, Leeroy. Eat every mouthful and tell your sister to do the same. Delicious dinner, Guildie. And so wholesome, too. Well, I'm glad you like that. Excuse me. Let the judge have the sofa, Marjorie. Oh, here, Judge. I'd rather have the straight chair. Thank you, Marjorie. You know, Guildie, you ought to try that diet that Pettibone prescribed for me. Might help you. I'm perfectly healthy, thank you. But I might consider it, Judge. I can get used to practically anything. Hi, George. It's good to have you with us, all right. It's good to be with you. What are we going to do? Can I play the radio? A little music would be delightful. Does it have to be the radio? What else? I was wondering about your work on the piano, Leeroy. You still taking lessons? Sure, but nobody likes to hear me play. No, Leeroy, that's not true. I often ask you to play for me. You want me to play now? I don't think this is just the time. I think it would be very nice. I think it would be very nice, too. Some other time. Pay no attention to your uncle, Leeroy. Give us a little concert. OK. Good to have you with us, old goat. Oh, here's Bertie. And a surprise for you, Judge. It's K-lack water, Judge. Well, this is an unexpected treat. I thought of it myself, Horace. I thought to myself, Horace always takes a glass of K-lack water at home after supper. Why not here? Shall I pour it, Judge? They win. That's a deal. Miss Guilty, do you want some? Certainly, Bertie. I love it. Well, that's fine. Well, Horace, bottoms up. You're very good health, old friend. Same to you. Oh, my. I'm sorry. What's the matter, Judge? You had it on ice, haven't you, Bertie? Yes. And Mr. Guilty told you. Oh, Guilty. I always serve it at room temperature. Oh, for heaven's sake. You're right, Horace. I should have remembered. Take it out and warm it up for him, Bertie. Yes, sir. Now, Leeroy, a little music. OK, you ask for it. I'll just stretch out here on the sofa if I may. Make yourself comfortable, Horace. Go ahead, Leeroy. Would you play something else? Well, play that again. Beethoven, isn't it? It's Bach. That's what I meant to say. Nice melody. Play it again. No, Judge. Listen here. I've heard that piece a good deal oftener than you. He's been playing it for two years as badly as he played it just then. I can't stand it anymore. Well, Guilty, I don't know how you expect the boy to improve if you don't give him a little encouragement. Encouragement? I've encouraged him to the tune of $2 a week for his lessons for five long years. When is it going to start paying off? It'll begin to pay off when the boy feels that he's appreciated. That's when... What? If you had any ear for music, you'd know he had talent. He has not. Ms. Roots says I have. You stay out of this. If you have talent, Ms. Roots has failed to bring it out. And another thing, Hooker, don't talk about my ear for music. You can't even carry a tune. I resent that. Go ahead and resent it. And don't think you're going to live here, either. What did you say? Nothing. I just wouldn't want you here as a permanent guest. Yes, that's all. I don't know what you're talking about, but nothing could induce me to accept such an invitation. All right. We understand each other. Certainly. You're a contankerous old goat. You're a stubborn old windbag. Now you're beginning to sound like yourself. No, Marjorie. You want to try to care like water again, Judge? I'll set it on the back of the stove a minute. Fine, Birdie. You want some, Mr. Gilson? No, thank you, Birdie. I hate this stuff. Yes, that's what I felt. Take it away. Stop! But, Birdie. Yes, sir? Fix some bacon and eggs for me and the children, will you? We couldn't eat that eggplant all of them, Hooker. Uncle! Gee, thanks, Uncle! With plenty of toast, Birdie. What's going on here? Never mind, you old goat. You can forget that real estate deal we were talking about. I already have. Good. Marjorie, play the radio if you want to. Lee Roy, do whatever you like. Jump up and down on the sofa. Hooker, would you like a nice, unfriendly game of checkers? All right. I must not cheat. Good old Horace. As long as I can hate you, you're not a bad fella. The Great Gilder Sleeve will be right back. These last several weeks on the Gilder Sleeve show, we've been trying to explain why it's often so hard to find parquet margarine in your food store. Quality spreads for bread are still scarce. And right now, it looks as though supply won't catch up the demand for many months to come. Craft will continue to distribute fairly and equitably all the parquet it's possible to make. And Craft's modern margarine plants are ready to speed production at a moment's notice just as soon as more top quality American vegetable oils are available for parquet. In succeeding weeks on this program, you'll be hearing about other favorite craft quality food products. We'll be back with more news about parquet later in the season. So until then, remember to always look first for delicious, flavor-fresh parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine, made by Craft. I'm glad you gave up the real estate business. Really? Why, Marjorie? I don't know. It did something to you. It made you seem harder somehow. That's exactly why I gave it up, my dear. Yes, when success comes to mean so much to a man that it begins to go to his head, it's time to taper off. Time to taper off. Well, I guess I'll taper off. Good night, my dear. Good night, customers. The Great Geldu Sleeve is played by Harold Perry. It is written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley as LeRoy, Louise Erickson as Marjorie, and Lillian Randolph as Bertie. Judge Hooker as Earl Ross and Dick LeGrand plays Mr. Peavey. This is John Lang saying good night for the Craft Foods Company and stay tuned in for all the rest of NBC's Great Wednesday Entertainment. Be sure to listen too next Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Geldu Sleeve. Remember tomorrow to ask your grocer for the wonderful craft product called Frizz. Frizz makes delicious ice cream right in your refrigerator. Velvety smooth rich ice cream with plenty of cream and milk in it. It's easy to make any flavor you like with Frizz. Just add water, a little sugar, and freeze according to directions on the package. You get six generous servings from one package. Because Frizz is made by an exclusive process that retains the fresh cream flavor and because it freezes smoothly, Frizz ice cream is simply delicious. Frizz, F-R-I-Z-Z. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.