 Oh, oh, oh my goodness gracious Mortal Kombat I don't know how better to start this than being like us. So, you know what's everybody What's everybody's experience with you know, Mortal Kombat we go left to right chase explain to us your deep history with Mortal Kombat I know that made ballad is worth a thing on the Super Nintendo All right Free I remember playing Mortal Kombat when I was a kid and then I kind of like I think it was like Alliance or deception and then I kind of forgot about it And then when the reboot came out that game looks really cool But Australia had a ban on any game that was rated like I yeah, I couldn't play it Like five years until they eventually started releasing him. Yeah, Mortal Kombat's pretty cool. I like it. All right That's bullshit. Well, what do you know about all combat? I'm so glad you asked because I was born in 83 So I was old enough to know Mortal Kombat and be cognizant of it really Mortal Kombat. Yeah, I'm an old motherfucker So at the time that this movie came out in 95 I was actually 11 so there was no chance in fucking hell that my parents were gonna let me see this movie So as of today, I haven't actually seen it but back in the day Mortal Kombat was that game that broke the mold They had the two game ratings. They had GA for general audiences and MA-13. That's all the ESRB had But Mortal Kombat was the first to bust out the third rating the MA-17 rating It was like a big old violent phenomenon among like, you know school kids and everything people would shout Mortal Kombat and the playground all that shit and losers share. Yeah, exactly and then and share Fake fatality codes on the bus and all that shit So Mortal Kombat was quite the cultural phenomenon at the time But I had never seen this movie as a result of my parents being kind of like, you know parents and so I never saw the movie And when I became of age, I never really bothered to see it after so it's gonna be a fresh experience for me We're gonna find out whether or not this movie was good If it is a bad good movie if it is a good movie or if it was only popular because the soundtrack was good I like you like was it bad good good bad bad good good? Like exactly which is it? We'll find out. We have to know John. What's your experience on E fat movies with? Combat you gamer my I played Mortal Kombat on the Sega CD in 1993 and I loved it One of the goriest things I'd ever seen at the time about must have been five or six years old loved it I had the movie on VHS. It's one of those tapes that I watched over and over again until the tape wore out So I'm very familiar with this movie. It is garbage, but it is very entertaining literature devil What do you go? What's more combat to you? What'll come that was introduced to me is the game that I'm not allowed to play When it came out, but it was also the game that my older cousin would allow us to watch him play on his The game gear Me and quake. Yeah, quake was another one, but I love quake more combat was great It was fantastic. It was a lot of fun. It was very gory and everything was brutal Like it was one of those games that you don't really see you didn't really see a game like that that often It was always a more sanitized more to combat was not sanitized I remember having a lot of fun coming up with different things that they could do like different fatalities It was a contest who can come with a more gory fatality a lot of fun serial killer Exactly a very brief addendum to my initial like meme response. Yeah, that is When I was a kid like that was definitely sort of the stigma that it had was like this is the fucking glorious game ever It's gonna literally make your child worship Satan. It's yeah something that he's yeah So it had that shock but it was kind of like if you remember back when dead space came out It's like your mom's gonna hate dead space. It was kind of going for the same sort of marketing space to marketing Yeah, yeah, I know one the wave of games where they Marketed to upset your parents so that we cooler to kids especially especially little boys who won a rebell against their parents And come on more of combat is not a mature game That's a game made for like young boys to like because it's just immature gore But I was like they have some of the characters they added in later like bull right show always just barracha, which is just drunk guy in Spanish Because I love I love it because they're self-aware. It's it's a really funny Game because they know what they're doing. They know what they're doing. This is over-the-top gourd nonsense violence It's good stuff. How they recommend Me it was I think I mentioned this on eFab before but when I first got my gamecube I was like, oh, it's great Bible games now and my parents were very much and timey seeing things That were highly age-rated if it involved nudity violence is fine I watched Hannibal eat people and my dad was like, yeah, you're right, and you know like yeah, but I Buffalo Bill was like, oh careful. He's wearing. He's wearing women's skin. You might see a boo Not a boo like you shouldn't show this violent media to your kids My mom would always say if you have a decent grasp on reality and fiction and distinction between them that I'm not worried And I was like, I love you mom. Oh, yeah The thing is this extended Hilariously the video games to the point where my parents didn't take video games seriously at all They were like it's a bunch of pixels not sense. What do you mean? It's an 18. That's stupid. He can have that like what's it gonna do is colors? For me, I still remember the shop I was super young and I went into like a little bargain bin thing I was like, I think it was too for like 10 pound I think or five. I can't remember anymore You know inflation is hard to remember these things and the two I picked were the two scariest Looking ones from the covers which was the resident evil remake and mortal combat I was like, they knew what they were doing. They're marketing towards little boys. Yeah, what gore? I was like, I will spend my my dollar on this because of the blood on the cover. Thank you It's not a mature game. Okay, it's not made for mature people The only time that like a violent video game I forgot under my skin as a kid was when I played Resident Evil 2 on PlayStation 1 and like a blockbuster demo back in the Day and you know how you fucking save Robert Kendo like you meet Robert Robert Kendo in his gun shop And then when you leave or grab the bullets zombies just jump in and fucking devour him I saw that and I fucking ran out of the store crying my parents Like I was bleeding out He's freaking out. We got to get him home. I had something similar to that If you remember the the eye remake What are the first things you'll end up seeing is when you look down the hallway and there's a zombie that's eating Somebody and it turns and looks at you. Yeah. Yeah, I remember being like nah I'm gonna play more combat now So watery looking and dripping from his chin it was like too real and he was still alive Well, yeah, I am the zombie was eating him. It's like that's fucked up I had a memory of it being so high detail graphically other what I saw it again when I was much older. I was like Bunch of boxes taped together. Yeah And so I play more combat then I played all of the I don't know how it's split in generations But yeah, I basically skipped all of the the older gen and I was on to like Deadly Alliance deception shall in monks Armageddon and then followed it on to a mk9 I think because that carries directly after Armageddon. So played a whole bunch I wasn't super into fighting games like at all But more combat I really just found fun and despite how like shitty the story is always mostly weird And how they use time travel to reset constantly and how everybody's powers don't really fit in They just have powers like it's usually as stupid as like this one is the one with the big face People Yeah, it was just really really fun There was like the whole appeal and then fatalities on friends and doing co-op and different adventures I was like, yeah, it's fun never watched the original movie knew it existed, but I just never did this should be fun There's a lot of fun. Yeah, and I've seen bits and bobs for this new one So I was like, this should be a fun adventure for us all to jump right into. All right, Moriarty What do we got? Well when I was younger we would go to this pizza place, you know You go and you eat pizza and staying people and I'd go and we'd take my friends, you know and be like hey Let's all go to the the pizza place and in the corner They had an arcade machine to try and siphon every single dollar out of every person that came in and it was mortal combat So I'd always play with my friends would go over and throw in as many quarters as we could and and just play So I've seen the movie because I wanted to see it after playing that and I love it I think the first movie is terrible, but it might be one of the better Video game adaptation movies like in the top couple, you know, I agree with that Bad things about this movie over time So it was like kind of interesting because whenever there's like extremely bad movie You'll at least hear it mean to death even now, but I haven't got that so interesting I think the CGI is probably terrible Probably really really bad I can't 95 CGI, baby I remember reading at one point that this was the most expensive CGI movie of all time So I think back in the day if the public made any acknowledgment of like video game culture or anime It was like fucking mind-blowing. I remember in 2001 when Daft Punk made their Interstellar 55 55 music video and the entire thing was just a big anime music video And I was just like anime is playing on MTV. That's insane So is this anything that like acknowledged this sort of niche Subcultural hobby was just like dude, that's fucking that's epic. That's so cool. You didn't even care if it was shitty You're just like we're getting noticed now noticing I think there was a band that did like the main menu song or some shit for a little combat deadly Alliance and like in The extras you could unlock the music video and I was just like this so weird You know, we were just talking about expenditures in terms of how this movie was made I just looked it up. They only had a budget of 18 million at the time Which just seems like panties on the dollar compared to what we spend nowadays on movies But it made a hundred and twenty two million So and everyone thought the COVID would crash that whole approach, but I'm pretty sure it's only just delayed By a year and a half or so, and we're just gonna get right back to it Flutting back out again wait for it guys the first one billion dollar movie. Oh my Jesus The best part about the old motor comment movie that I remember now is that there are no woke political lectures So that's why it's a lot of fun. Yeah, but in the 90s, they didn't really do that It was all about rebellion and junk food and yeah, it was awesome Delicious delicious ultra violence, that's the best part of it Yeah, I think the first billion dollar one might just be like Marvel's Avengers versus Kong or something, right? That's probably gonna get Captain Marvel And finally rags let us know the illustrious history of yourself with Mortal Kombat So I don't know anything about Mortal Kombat. I have not seen the movies. I have not played any of the games I have no interest in fighting games really whatsoever. So I have an absolutely zero expectations I don't know what those expectations would even be if I had them I'm a totally walking in as new delicious as possible. I don't know anything about Mortal Kombat Well, I mean keep them low. I'm not walking into a masterpiece here or anything. Yes It's gonna be great because the fact you have no expectations is gonna make it even more funny because I feel like From what I can gather maybe myself ringing John might have the most familiarity with with sort of what we're expecting to see In terms of stuff to do with more combat certainly in the new one, of course, John knows this film already But yeah, I don't know if you see like a reptile person burping acid on people That's not gonna surprise me at all, but it might surprise right reptile person. That's very inclusive. Yeah So we're gonna be watching both movies the 1951 and the 2021 one back-to-back I imagine the CGI is probably gonna be about the same I've heard that the 95 was revolutionary, so I feel like you know, it's a big way you just sort of can't tell it's timeless But yes, is everybody on zero on their copy of the 95 version On zero. Oh wonderful three here we go. Hang on Mahler. Sorry You guys would fucking like a death note because it has very So anyway Look at the fire, you know, this is the opening theme for terminal velocity Yeah, this is partially famous. All right, no one is gonna Originally from here or the game like this It wasn't in the game at all this is strictly a movie track that made it to radio stations and everything Honestly, it's me every kid who likes karate did their performances to this song Yeah, oh, I guess he's evil. No, if you couldn't shang sung. Yeah This is Liu Kang here we go I promise you so good this is Liu Kang's brother Is this Marvel's Shang-Chi? Yes, this is so bad-looking. He's gonna say the line. It's worth waiting for oh good. I'm committing a hate crime I think it's just a regular crime. Does he have an ass? Oh geez? These are some of the great wow it's anime. Look at it. Look Your soul is mine That's really bad dubbing is he talking to me I have this dream every night in my green room. Why did I install this? Yeah Very bright green light in my bedroom next to a bicycle So this is what you don't understand This is an or two the director this and you can identify that by how it's not normal Are his walls like massive cement blocks brother dead I think this film trying to tell us that his brother has died. Oh, you like the minimalistic writing the other dead My god It's a backup shot like it fires the torch Wait, they're not showing the other side of his face is this Kano Yeah, I wonder yeah, that is I'm not fake Australia. No, I know There is so this isn't really funny to me because no context is just like what the fuck is happening. Why why is all this? Well, we've got an age today boss evil and now sub evil and you can tell from the eye that he's pretty evil I like how the night popped up when he wasn't in frame Legendary oh my god, what are y'all doing just this beating oh, no Here we go. Oh, thank you for beating up. Wow. Wow like 17 people died. She weighed alone Firing into the crowd. Yeah, he hit everyone but her nobody gives a shit Is a crowd from John Wick do that nobody cares that torch is hilarious You killed me already Blue my lungs out. I can't these shot all those bullets into the crowd and no one cared. Nope Everyone would have been looking Cassie cage like mommy, please You don't even know her name yet. That makes it even more sexy. I don't know who you are Los Angeles Wait, oh, what are we doing? Chicks Turtles This is a movie in a movie because Johnny cage is a movie Oh I see this is different from the other action sets we've had because his whole character supposed to be mocking John Claude Van Damme I think can I be honest? I fucking love this movie so far like a lot. This is where you fall down Also, we need to buy some cameras Jesus Christ You're killing me Let somebody on the set. You don't know who it is. No, of course not I'm the kind of person who doesn't wear a belt with jeans. I don't I'm not ready to make important Don't talk to me you fucking trash. I'm walking away now a proto soy boys. How dare you a proto soy boy No, Linda Hamilton You're one of the best martial artists in the world prove it. Thanks for telling me tournament Thanks, my very feet in hell once a generation big Lebowski King of iron fish. I was just trying to remember Jeff Bridges His name. He's a small Lebowski mid-Lebowski Can't read this Jansen the bad guy manipulated one of the okay guys am wow no tip fine Yeah, I hope you have fun with whatever They all wore the same Exploited children He stands next to them to look really big We only have one rule do not walk on the grass those kids had no fucking idea why they're here Yeah, it's kind of how the Hollywood gives the main character fat best friend so the main character looks better. It's like that Yeah Before we talk about what happened, how do you get your hair so voluminous didn't you read the message brother dead? That's what happens. Yeah, that's all we took a lot of time Oh, you do you use your cheat to grow your hair you model your head this way to insult me Just a glorious hair though. Oh, no, it's okay. Oh, that's totally gonna fall. Oh, they're right. Oh It's been too long without a fight come on Look like a penis they're just pointing vaguely at each other like I'm upset Grievances these they already speak English exactly exactly. I said wipe your hands around like yeah They're accusing me if someone would try to clutch at things. It's like what are you doing? I will taste Before anyone else If you zoom in on any shot with children, they're just looking like do we get to eat snacks? Yeah There's the man of the hour. I think the one that if anyone knows anything, but we'll come out. I'll typically know this guy, right? Quite white actually the white wolf Yeah, having the minorities bow to the white man the fuck Yeah, I mean the Lord the Lord more or combat is all gods are white This isn't your God of thunder and lightning. He's just a beggar Spare him my Lord Rayden spare him my white man Oh My god, oh my god, that might have been impressive if I saw any of it Whoa, look at him. Oh, no, that was oh my god sparkles Why did you let Tandai like I think the original game Raiden was a bad guy I'm going to find my brother's killer at the time. They turned him into a good guy for the move Oh, without your consent. Oh, what's that? This is really ahead of its time All of them are like, well, that's a bit of a faux pop. It's not really that big of a deal It's already okay. He looks Now what let's find one of the least intimidating people and make them raiden Thunder oh that little sparkles. That's cute Achai one bae no, you can't do that anymore Well, not unless you want your social credit score to go down. Yeah, right? So like a zero already Sorry couldn't read this No, this isn't Jack's this is Wait, they don't think he's an actor. Wait, Jack's isn't he supposed to be an actor. No, I wait I think Jack's is but this isn't Jack's. This is cyborg. There was a sequel to this movie Called Mortal Kombat Annihilation Jack's Jack's was in that one, but is not in this one. Okay. There is no more combat annihilation having a Money you carry the bags or is that too complicated? No, I Got it What a cock go grab it the longer you leave it into the more when it gets The car What if your Gameboy was it there? Never be able to play Mortal Kombat on Gameboy because that was a thing to anxiety. Oh, there you go That's probably that would be janked by the way What the fuck oh my god is this? Oh My god, wait, the sales world's one. How does it move? Magic magic? Yeah, not real Magic That's why he needs all those souls of power the ship has to be CGI sales I was just gonna say that seems to be a lot of money to spend for no reason at all Like your job is to cut up sales. All right, it's like, yeah I wonder if this is the tournament killers. Maybe oh my gosh. His glowing eye makes it so easy to see I look so awkward man in the dark He looks like full gore that I not nobody nobody knows anything about killer instinct. All right No, I know I played it on Gameboy at some point Sonya run gayer. He's already at maximum levels of gay He's already out. So how is the yeah, I don't understand the propulsion for this ship. They like backs up magic magic Dragon is alive. He's like, oh So this is the boat you guys get me some new sales, please I got four bags now Where's Kano? According to Mortal Kombat rules, that'll be a fair fight. You can actually use a gun in Mortal Kombat. Oh, yeah, but they don't do much That's what makes good writing so far Luke King is my favorite Great place for our kung fu fight. Yeah with the floating chains. My favorite was probably Sonya's gun I am blue You are not the blue what color When I want back up a radio fort what is happening strong woman. Okay. Well, neither of us have one. So fuck you Oh shit boy. Oh my goodness gracious. Oh I need to hear him say it we just we're gonna get a fight. I'm on boats. This really breaks continuity Oh My god, what's happening now? Oh jeez? Oh, is this Raiden? Oh my god fuck is happening. Oh, no Enough his face. He was like enough and in the thing Thank you white man being big fans of sub-zero and scorpion Won't happen again, I promise you Yeah, I'll be in meanest here. We need we need the fact comic relief characters be like I have no idea what's going on here You guys help me out We need a comment for the character. Yeah, I wish it was just a dude in the background that would just soundly observe Okay with magic happening is that fine to them? Do they not care? Yeah, they came right out of the second genesis All right peace You know this is so a set look at the background look at the stars in the background. It's just a wall Oh god, look at it Guys it was the 90s They had oceans in the 90s. No. No, they didn't in venom yet Your ego Yeah, like how does anyone trust him when he's doing he speaks like this? I promise I love It's actually not fog the cruise just smoking cigarettes and doors in the 90s He just has that that sociopath fucking brawl on your world is but one of many realms his voice You should hear they they got him to re-record for like Raiden with the dlc and we'll come at 11 and really What it's just so rusty. Wait, is that supposed to be Raiden? Yes. Yeah Oh my god, that man Yeah, I'll get your ip's right mortal combat We said it again it's not about death Oh, yeah, it is like life. What? No, it isn't the music. I don't believe that bullshit You can see the smoke coming out of the smoke machine in the back You can just hear no, that's the ocean idiot the ocean machine. Yeah There's ocean water you fucking infidel One of you three will decide the outcome of the tournament. We don't say that we're having that creepy face on It's well-dependent on you Oh My evil slipped out. I think we're so awesome. I love this movie so much. Um, right Exactly did they judge? Yes. He is sufficiently dead. Good job. You you Well until until the judge calls it, I mean you're hacking away at the corpse like please call it The only benefit I'm sure they're just like the games. Oh my god, the only benefit we have is knowing Any benefit we haven't knowing well powers very calm about everything happening in this fucking movie. Yeah all the lightning magic They're like, that's not good So hard to be impressive. He's trying so hard to be scary Look at the shit I can make I am moving along Nice shot. I like all the character introductions. The one for Goro is awesome Remember they could go out here for production So why did they shoot that last scene on a theater? Because the spooky boat wasn't so seared. Oh, that looks not right I would expect a non-movie maker like you'd understand. Yeah, rags idiot fucking dumbass your radio works when you're in like an alternate dimension Wow, they all arrived at the same time ish Very timed it I don't arrive first You're in your fucking nice outfits. You couldn't wait until you get a little close to the shore Bags than he had before As all Johnny with his luggage, I don't know about you if I really like in this Johnny, Kate There's Johnny cage bag scheme nice sweater. Yeah, the bags just keep multiplying as the time Like burning up in that sweater That statue looks confused This is the pirate cave from the phantom That statue is like what? Oh, it's geltor That was a goblin person Who that? That's a katana, right? This is katana. Yes I really want like some outdated 90s term like I want Johnny case to be like, oh, she's amazing. She's etch. She's exotic looking She's radical What's your carefully reptile? Why are his eyebrows? Oh, that's reptiles This is fine The shit day in and day out they're just like, you know, he does that sometimes He's awesome Ordered the Caesar salad this is like a 10 out of 10 so far for me. I don't know Dude, dude, they awesome when they finished making him and showed him to like the director the director's like, oh, no We make this it's live in like a week Will people notice and he's like no You know what they're all thinking This is a problem. We gotta do something about this guy. You you saw that red pile effect, right? That was so Wait, was he done a lot of it? Oh, it's this guy Who's the yellow one? He looks oh there. He's kind of like skinny Once that'd be his actual name like his first name is sub his last name is zero It seems like a very cucky name, doesn't it? Yeah, my name is zero Sub Zero, you know what? Fuck you Joke it's not talking about infidelity. Okay, the Californian zeros. Yeah. No dad Also, wow, we're already like set up in 25 minutes for this tournament, right? Yeah, we're here The movie's like a third over of you will even have the distinct honor And pleasure to face Prince Goro and pleasure. Hey goro Whoa, there's a way here for us to go. Yay. Name. I recognize. Woo. I'm getting some weird I'm getting some Weinstein vibes from this guy What are you doing sub zero Oh those like oh god, are they gonna fuck all those men? Oh, they're very loyal. What's happening? Are we all? Oh, no, they're very oiled up. They're really good. Oh, they got up. Oh, they're kicking the we were eating time for the casting Why just move the tables there's that was gonna be food. Oh, they clean that up. They clean those floors fast Yeah, they clean that was bullshit. Oh, no, this pool random. He's gonna get killed Oh Woo, okay, there's one guy in there that's a hairy chest like everyone else is smooth There's one guy in the hairy chest. Look at all these beautiful tits Oh What's he doing with his hand? I don't know what I'm doing. All right, just go ahead and freeze him already. Come on. Yeah, there we go He's throwing a bowl of ice at you. Look out He turned into an n64 character for this tournament For lawless victory Lawless victory there really aren't any ground rules for more of a combat you can pretty much do anything This is if you had a commentator you would have been like and he's preparing. He's kicking. Oh, well Yeah, there we go. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's the other guy has magic ice powers And he's gone didn't really feel like a fair fight, but there we are. Yeah, I feel if I don't have powers I'm just not gonna sign up. Mm-hmm. Well, yeah, but johnny cage has weird green map. Well, not in this movie, but Johnny cage johnny cage has a magic nut punch skill Yeah, all right I do like however that despite the fact that sub zero and scorpion are asian. They're not in this movie for some reason They're just they're still in born in asia. Do they get to have characters in this movie or no? Oh my god, it's your boy Those are some jerking off hands right there But that's not really lame because like scorpion and sub zero are awesome Oh, yeah, the main characters in mortal combat. They're the two that everyone likes and if you don't know instead We've got discount laura croft. She came out before laura croft Laura croft counts on your blade. She doesn't know she's shitty this chick here She's discount laura croft. Wow rags. So cruel. She's just asshole. She's just an idiot with a Big flashlight on her shotgun But why does that make her a bad character rags? That's just yeah, that's just who she is No people. I think I can criticize people wearing sweaters and sweater is her character Look, she's got a whole backstory about this weather. It comes in halfway through. Oh my goodness gracious. Oh, this doesn't seem safe. Oh Oh, I'm glad we had that aside. Oh, we're here now. That was a transition. Yeah, that was a transition indeed Why are they just they didn't look behind them at all? I like that. I saw that and they don't really care Wait, do they know how shadows work? He wouldn't be in front Yeah, I Goro's like, it's me Fine. Fuck you then. Why are they walking your way? The people in the red hats come in and they just flip his table over Yeah It's time for mortal combat You're scuss. Oh god. Oh my god. That looks pretty good for the era Not bad. I think that's where most of the budget went. I think there's a budget, right? Whenever you go this far back, it's a nice looking cake over there. They really contrast with the rest of the food They wouldn't be the catering was the biggest part of the budget Yeah, I think that is that's that's half cg half practical Maybe like maybe like the torso in the lower half. I don't know. Well, guess we'll see when he's in action I feel like whatever they did practically was always gonna age better because the cg I'm not gonna lie. His face doesn't really dip an uncanny valley. That's pretty good I'm starting to think that he's a stack of two people. Yeah, I'm not sure Like he's he's actually six It's proper puppeteering and uh prosthetic work effects for her. Yeah, right Come here. Oh, no That was this is not over That was he was like Yeah, it's in the realm of why did he have so many extravagant entrances Perhaps Slowly and poetically I'd like to get back to my amassing as soon as possible. You were right about that cake really stands out It looks like a bunch of melted rice crisps What they said obviously just doesn't really see that evil though. Can we like put some black frosting on it? It's not an evil looking cake It's really shanksons mom brought the cake in I don't do evil cakes find another one I do not fail Watch that then Oh, no, they're sending that guy So it was the first fight with the ice. Was that part of the tournament? Yeah, that was the first round I think that was just a demonstration We got on the blue hall or do we go down the oh, that's it. Oh, look someone's standing there with the bright torch. We'll get it Okay, bye. Oh god. Look at her face. She's so unappealing just Yeah, I know she's such a fucking bitch why she wears a mask all the time in the game She seems so angry at everything. I guess they didn't follow him No, guess not. We're looking back behind like it. Those guys didn't follow me with jerks You know, it's up to me blue king Mortal combat the story about a man who traverses 10,000 small yet independent sets Oh, is that your boy reptile? Look out. There he is Who brought the playstation one dragon in That's very generous of you Oh my god, that looks terrible that last frame. He just kind of slithered away off of nothing Goomed on me Stop rubbing you're gonna make it worse Oh, no, the web whole way this is a post alien world We put up the web this was the 90s and so they were like got a CGI everything because it's sort of a thing now We haven't seen a heck of a lot of CGI a lot of his practicals I really want him to look at her at one point in the movie and say, oh, why don't you smile more? They call that candle wax. Oh my god Hey, there we go. Yeah, fucking women are annoying We hate women. Oh, no, I got webs on my favorite black sweater. Oh, no, they're like for that situation Oh, no, they have sticks Oh, here we go. I know things about to go down. Oh, there's just a pointy bits on them Like I just waited to be correct Be careful Oh She's so strong for how skinny she is They're not even coming close. I love how much they all wait to be hit. They're just like, yeah Oh my god, is that the key to get the mascara? He was gonna say some stops He's like, this guy would be trying to cut costs by hiring stuntmen instead of actual fighters Oh, they just run up to get hurt and then they're like, oh fucking you have to plan B Is that guy thrown down? Oh, look at that Oh, okay, where did that music come from though? That was kind of fucking weird Absolutely brilliant. Well done. Where did those guys go that you just beat up? They exploded like in turtles in time It's a PlayStation one game. So they just evaporated Blinked out of it. Oh, they're back. Yeah, they were just standing there. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, see they're very commandable There it is I don't understand at all the hierarchy of this establishment I think they just listen to you if you have long hair I like how Johnny Cage is just like I'm the wise cracking white guy. Everything is a joke to me Johnny Cage doesn't work that well because he's not fat. He needs to be fat and want to be funny Nah, I like him a lot James Corden was fat and the three Musketeers and he was he was I like how everything has an asian theme except for the statues of greek warriors What are we finding and the asian god and the asian god exactly and all the white people Other white people from this moment on my island will be your battleground I think that looks really boring. What about that first fight? Well, that was optional. They chose the points with two fingers Let mortal combat begin. All right. My money's on luke hang. Can I can I confess something? No I I really I'm like sexually attracted to luke hang's hair specifically the only part of him Whoa, they're about to wind bend right now. This is what I call serious Hmm How can there be veterans? I'm in the winner. Yeah, maybe They don't like to use the sticks. Oh, well, I guess we are using this. Oh wait, are there no pointy ends to these things? Are they just like I was just smiling like yeah, you're fucking asian. I'm gonna get He's so angry. He's having so much fun with it. I feel like you'd have to be a little angry and mortal combat Oh, maybe he's been doing this for so long. It just because this is his 10th time, right? This is 10th mortal combat. You think he'd be kind of mellowed out by now Or just like, you know, maybe the first couple mortal combats. He's really angry all the time But Now I have two sticks Oh Defeated did he run out of health? I wish they had like I wish they had feet prints right on his tits Just for that one shot. Well, he did run out of health. Oh, is he oh, is he Nice hair shot or yeah, they have like a health cause and you run out. I really want him to say finish him Finish do it Do it your soul is mine. Oh no Your soul is mine. That was lame. I'll do it. Give me your black abs Oh Oh my god, wait a minute. When you take his soul, it sucks a skeleton. Oh, I took a skeleton He sucked the photoshop layer out of him. Your skeleton shall be mine Oh, no He sucked two of the three color gradients out of him. No Only blue was left only v was left I will take your g is mine. Oh, you get him. Let's see how she can do who she fighting Yeah, she's she's really intimidating the opposition. I don't want anything from you Oh my god, those buck teeth. I'm sorry. She's beautiful, but She's beautiful, but they're good. I'm sorry. She's beautiful, but she looks like lullabunny. What do you mean butt? Yeah, I mean her teeth. I fucked lullabunny before her Yeah, I mean Well, yeah, but the teeth makes sense on lullabunny, not on her. What's this? Can you say lullabody? I think it's Kano. I think it's nipples. Is this the set of like survivor island or something? Like everyone else in this movie has abs and he just has kind of like a bad body Well, he has he has he's he looks like an actual strong person. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, so you're adding to a rock over the camera Kano has a knife Yes, this little baby brings back memories now doesn't it? That's not a knife This is a regular australian knife That checks out. Yeah, that's a butter knife in australia. Exactly I feel like sticking a knife down the back of your pants is just a recipe for a lot of cuts Oh my god How are you even half as strong as him? I feel like you could just break her arm by touching it See this movie is having a moment of female empowerment. I'm wondering how they're gonna sexualize her later to like compensate They're already sexualized it in the writing world Like a food which means that's a little 90 pound girl can just defeat this 200 pound muscle man That's the thing sonia blade's not really magical, right? She's just Sure, you studied all of her moves because you're just sitting there getting the shit kicked out of you She's sitting in very good. He likes to yeah, he's really enjoys this. Whoa bad She's Pretty good with a builder. Yeah, if he only has to hit her like two times She just started vomiting Yeah, yeah, oh jeez. Okay. All right. Are you making those noises sounds like yes. Oh my goodness. What is she with her? What is that? Oh, give me a break Okay No, sonia don't wait. What is she killing? He just pretend to die He said give me a break and he broke the deck wait. He's kato. I won't is that it? That was Okay, you can you can say it's a good screen shot just a fucking white guy in a forest next to scorpion Yeah, why is he here? What's happened? Is this another way to do it? I was going on a walk This movie is a thousand independent tiny Oh my god Get over here Why didn't they just get him? Why did they just give him a normal room? Get over here In adr, but he said it reflective nature. I love any old cg has that weird fucking acid wash like metal look How how long can that look like an episode of rebate? What? I know. Why all around like several trees Why didn't they give him a normal thing? Oh, wow, that was lucky. Oh, that's how long it is Oh The real thing He said two lines. Holy shit. He's like, well, that was fucking cram here. This is a weird fire. That was embarrassing Oh That's that scorpion's only move, you know, I will stand here. I know he has a teleport move Wait, was that the same shot? Oh, is it dead? You can take off a human mask and breathe fire. He's got the thing died What oh, there's the teleport move. Oh, but you took him with him. What oh my goodness I love this actually. There we go. There's scorpions. I really like this now. This kind of looks like a set I'm still annoyed that they killed kainar. Yeah. Well, it was bullshit. I don't think they actually did I think yeah, that was no way he got killed by that. Come on I like how they regularly stop to show him just looking around like whoa Like immortal comeback I'm gonna imagine him shuffling into, you know, place while the camera was panning Why didn't you think immortal combat is nothing? It's because something you just brush off. Oh, no Why do you think you're scoping a weird snake thing in his hand? Why wasn't it just a regular thing? I think what we're dealing with are different dimensions and shit than they wanted to spice it up a bit But it's so lame So I'm I'm hoping that with this loot cage guy we get some sort of payoff for him being an actor Like he pretends to do something in a fight and then he turns out he was just acting No, look, just a look for bobble Loot cage, shoddy cage Loot cage is for marvel. That's what this is. This is marvel combat, right? They kind of blend together This is marvel combat and that's loot cage. Good recovery. Good recovery. I don't understand what's happening. Why are they fighting each other? They're just punching each other for a while while the silver camera changes It's the new round Which infinity stone are they fighting for the left one? Johnny cage. I think was walking out of bounds and scorpion's just looking for a fight. I guess Out of bounds the game rules apply Oh, yeah, you asked that it's funny you would ask that that was really obvious. That's a really terrible. Oh, jeez careful the set I'll take it That all looks like fucking driftwood We got luke vision for a second Oh, really? There you go All right, so what was the point of all that? I like how it didn't break under a man's weight spinning three times, but one kick did it retard What was the point of all that? Oh my god a skull in this skull, please The man with the hook hand that's fine skulls. Why did he do that? What is he doing? They keep showing his eyes like yes, I'm indeed looking at you. I'm very intense What? Oh my god There we go. He was like wow you could have done better with that His face he was like I'm a shield bro. I'm not gonna lie. Wait, how did he know that would happen? Oh, damn you found a shield Do he bad? An awful lot in this movie Oh, no I'm sorry Oh The greatest film of all time You made me bleed my own lava blood How do they just sense the itinerary here for this? Does everyone get a piece of paper that has all of the locations and times that their fight happens? It's like half and half He organizes these little fights on like platforms, but then it's like you are you have free reign to walk anywhere You want in the island, but if you find each other you have to fight. I think those are the rules Fight all right So how are the rules of this movie that all the main characters are gonna kill each other one by one until like One person stands are they gonna band together because I'm excited to see what is gonna go What if it's both? I guess that's the idea, but how the fuck is johnny cage supposed to get out of the multiverse? Uh, that's a good question. I don't know. That's the brother fight. There's probably uh, there's probably a convenient cut where he'll be back He'll just be back. Yeah. Well, hopefully the bone zone is just elsewhere on the island that looked really gentle. Thank you Is so much sexual tension. It isn't gentlest mortal combat ever Oh, that's katana anything like katana. Yeah, she's supposed to be blue. That's the whole thing Yeah, yeah, she could at least be blue. Molina's pink or purple, I guess Oh, do they have a winner in this film part of the fight? Oh Did that fight not count? He was getting upset because they weren't fine. Probably they're just kind of like eye fucking Yeah, uh, they were disqualified from the tournament. I'm not in this to watch. Okay I guess that wasn't a real fight But the fight because that seemed a lot more organized than the uh flame boy Cage fight that we had in the bone zone I feel like that was a little bit more impromptu, but I guess that counted Is raiden gonna fight someone is he in the fight? No, oh no, he's just like a supervisor. Oh monk, man Yeah, he's that kind of role in this What do you always walk like dude? He's like Oh, he's walking a man corn dog up tired just holding my invisible buckets. Don't mind me You will be decimated by me. I would like to remind you guys that the person who made this made the resident evil movies I know Also, I like the official fight now. Oh, sure. Yeah This is like fighting I I I just really want to see them play leapfrog in the middle of this fucking battle Oh My hair. Oh, you know what annie should have been in this movie. I know That's a motivation this whole fight. I want you're here. I have zero That's the interesting thing for these animals and I guess he sold scorpion and sub-zero and was just like That's the fire one and the ice one. What's it? This is the penultimate 90s shot of all the candles falling. This is the penultimate 90s karate movie Just they overused slo-mo like crazy Wobbling when he jumped on it That's a red ramp. It wobbled on it Hey, look shang sung is not he's cutting corners. All right. Oh, no now it's time to ice men on your island It comes the it's a good sign that I want to step away, but I can't because I'm really interested to see what's going to happen That's a good sign Give me an h No, for all that effort I'm very big Oh, oh, shit Liu Kang run away. Uh, oh what this is lame. Yeah, he's in 64 graphics. Oh, they burn. Oh No, I think it's it's like coal that's freezer burn use the element which brings life How would be able to talk to him? We doing fights The element that brings life it's going to be all slippery water. Oh, yeah He was like, wait, oh, that's all falling out all of that's out of the no use heart instead I was oh my Wow, that thing is really big What the fuck how did that work out perfectly? Oh, no ice sub zero is one weakness Okay, come kick him and break him kick him and break him right now Oh, you pussy you fucking ruined it worst film ever. Yeah, it's terrible now. I hate it How come scoreb your brother's like you stand to shut it off just fucking shut it off right now Jesus the same at least redeem yourself and flip that fucking table right now. Mm-hmm. This movie is so stupid Can you really call it stupid? Would you have no way about that? Do you think what he masturbates? He alternates his top and his bottom arms? Yes, he uses all four of them. Damn. That's a big cock. Oh, we montage of like all of the losses Are they what are what is happening right now? Are they like failing to somersault? These are all of the goro is dispatching these guys one by one. These are the reviews I think they use the same guy a couple of times there I think cape so we're all of is he a species where oh this guy's so fucking dead No, it'll be fine He comes across as like a creature that eventually begs to be killed because he's just His existence is tough I sort of call my spine hurts all the time Yeah, oh no Oh, he's got you now I love how because he has to be cg or whatever all of his punches are really slow Really slow Right. Yeah, I mean how hard would it be just to speed up speed up these swings? I can't tell if this is practical I'm not gonna lie for like a puppet. That's I mean, yeah the closer you get the more the flaws are revealed But oh no They had to make him kill the black guy because it's not his racist Oh, he's just all right then what You need a money shot there where his head kicks in or something what happens when you don't know how to do a fatality So he just punch him instead on accident Exactly. I don't know the code Is he dead? What's happening now? Break him in half. Do something really epic Goro totally lost some of his health, but oh no Oh, he's offering his soul Wait, no, no, no, no that dude that guy, oh no that guy What in the world was all of that I have no idea what's going on and I fucking love every second. Yeah, one things for sure. I was never bored Yeah, yes, Sonia. What the fuck happened to your firearms? Mm-hmm, you know for second there is like rags. She doesn't have fire. Oh, you mean guns. Yeah You must first face your fears Man, I'm listening to everything you're saying. It looks like Skeletor completely like Skeletor. It's ridiculous. You'll fight He has these villain vibes. It's so strong. Yeah, do we have to have the talking bits? Can we go back to the fight? Yeah Looking for extras in karate scene we'll stand around with abs and yell You have to frown If you're a protagonist you can't laugh at anything everything's very serious Whoa Don't crush them Better Don't you think well first you're drawing because you would have the advantage here because he has that nutpunch thing And he's Goro is really tall. Oh, yeah, he does. He's not got it at all Oh my his fucking eyes get more and canny the more I look at them It's the only part that fucking jars me. Everything else. I'm sorry. Did he just get taller in that cut? I thought we were fucking joking you got it Oh Oh my goodness do it again. Don't run away. You pussy. That's just a solid playground strategy kick him in He's getting away. Go get him. He is about this. I don't work too. Like it really it really got Goro stunned Do you think he has four balls? Yes, he probably I hope so what's happening now? Why did he wait that for so long? What was his plan? It really the more you look at him every time he moves He looks like he really does look like a dude on stilts that's just trying not to lose his balance Is how to make him try to lose balance it'll be fun to compare him to the new one because he's probably gonna be full cgi Oh god, the composition It's gonna be so much less fun in the new movie Guys, he's totally here, okay Was he green screen on a jpeg for that? Also, you built your fucking arena total with like right next to the edge of a cliff I guess it's pretty cool That's it. Oh, he's so he's so cool. He's not even phased by anything. Oh god. That's clouds. It's weird. He's super cool This is where you fall down Hey, it's a callback Into the clouds. Did he plod this this way? I like how johnny's everything johnny looks at. He's like, hmm, okay Oh, no, now this is happening. You're a coward sorcerer Wanted maybe try that again Oh I'll allow it Oh I love how he had to remind them to care. Where's he taking her to the emperor's castle the emperor's asshole The whole movie he's just like I am very promoting there. He's like Did did you beat goro? Nice by the way Nothing was huge. Yeah, you want to beat the best guy. You've pretty much won already man. Imagine. There's no respect at all There's no reason for the movie to continue. Roll the credits. Imagine they had to fight him in a ring What about sanya? Well, she's stuck in the emperor's asshole The real reptile Are you fuck? Oh, it's him again. Oh, no, what's happening? What's he doing? Oh, he's doing so bad Oh, man, that reptile is like the shittest thing ever Why didn't it just make him look like he does in the video game where he's just Yeah, like a huge but reptile face. Well, you that's the power of The freeing you could even go as far as Making him like scoping sub zero but green right that portal was actually just a flat image So many things they could have done but they did the wrong You know what it is they committed a lot of time to making reptile Then they were like we could get rid of him do someone else like oh, but I spent so much time on that You're like, yeah, but All they could do with goro is just have him march around and go Well The cjr showed them off and they're like, okay, so when are when are you gonna be done with a reptile? I'm like, oh, but it is done Okay, I could have sworn that that entire thing was about to fall on the camera. Do you think the guy Looks like the pre-rendered cutscenes from Oddworld Ames Odyssey Oh geez What's happening Check out this wall you're gonna fight No, they're gonna fight. Oh, oh my god. Wow It's the best he's ever looked. I just don't wait. What's happening? Wait, what what the fuck? Oh, his legs were like clipping like they're climbing with each other and glitching That looks so bad Oh my god Legitimate ps1 graphics. So there are statues that you just throw people into the the eat them What how did you know? Obviously? Didn't you see it just now? Oh my god Yeah, it turns out the statue is actually sub zero. No, no reptile. That's That's reptile. He's gonna say I recognize the green. That's what reptiles smoke in here. He's better now Costumes are confusing. Well, I'm gonna get smoking here just for the easter egg. It's very straightforward. Yeah Who is sub zero green as reptile? Well, I think he's really clean. I can I can understand that. Yeah Yeah Though I will say I'm whooping his ass. I don't know what it was that happened there though The pillar was wobbling. Are all of the statues like people waiting to be activated. I guess Depends if the story needs it. Oh dude. He's kicking the crap out of him. Look how he sucks Because I saw sub zero get into a statue with ice. So I thought this statue was like him In a different form. Yeah, I guess I could understand which is slightly intuitive I was gonna say right. That's that makes slightly more sense. I think it's really it's really in bad taste for this movie They continue to be aired while Asian violence is happening. Reptile. I guess he's both now So educate guest, right? This is what reptile was supposed to be and then he erupted an animal out of him And luke hang happened to throw him back in there you go. Yeah Oh Oh Good thing that was there to spin quick break his neck I don't know if I believe that All right, this is actually wait, wait, wait, what happens to joanie cage? I guess what's he doing out there? He was watching Does he give a fuck? Like this is how you got it buddy. You got this buddy. I can't interfere. Yeah, that's true Oh, no, what he just threw him. What he just grabbed him. What are reptiles powers? Issues acid. You can go invisible. I would so I don't know why he ain't doing it right now. I mean it worked once again It's it's wonderful. Wait, how does he spit it? He has a mask covering his face Wow, he's supposed to take the mask off and he's got like a reptile mouth and then he spits In the new ones. He's just a reptile man. Yeah, he's just In the old ones, he just shot it like a duke and it was dumb I know that's how the move works, but I still love him coming up to him What? Oh He was just with a statue full of bugs To make a movie work in the 90s need to have creepy crawlies for the young boys What in the world? Oh, is he gonna fucking Fucking axe kick I killed the cameraman. Look, I'm gonna be honest. I'm not quite sure how that worked. That was such I'm here to stare at you some more. It's the emperor's asshole everyone's here He was the reptile though, and if he gets kicked into a statue, he he turns into a cool guy and this feels like All of those cool guy, but if he gets kicked by the stupidest looking kick in the world He basically is done He's someone here is a very big mortal combat fan Bicycle kick idiots. Yeah, I know what it is. It just looked like shit. Go read the wiki you fucking pleb Yeah Go read the wiki So, you know the whole scene with scorpion and on that whole scene with reptile That's what I would make to like fuck around with someone's brain. I just feel like I'm gonna make fun of mortal combat Not even just make fun of continuity You can like see the clipping through the bottom. You really can that's that's like a full motion video Oh It's kind of bored like what am I doing here? Let's see this Had a fucking skirt ready to go for this cow. Oh, yeah, you know, this is this is first rodeo With this law it's like guys don't go towards the CGI stay on the set These people so where the fuck are they the emperor's castle emperor's asshole And I but where is this meant to be the nether realm or is this like where are they as if that would help? My friends will come for me. How would they even know how to get here? Where even is here? They went to the portal right on the island. I just love the idea the freeze like it's another all rags Right like, okay So what about the other 50 contestants back on earth are they lost like it's irrelevant And also that might have been out world. It is our world. I said it several times Oh, no, I know How did they how did they do it? What a twist Oh, well, okay. All right, then It's these villains listen to anyone Damn you speak to me with treachery Oh, we're just letting her get taken up. Yeah, I guess you have the keys to Johnny Cage No What's this? Yeah, what's all allow it you just us taking his clothes off and check so it's like, oh, I'm not I don't Okay, but I have a skirt for you if you want hang on Except yeah Leave us No, they'll pull the lure out it's fine the monk's like you haven't been doing very well. You sure you want us to go All right, I guess we'll leave you Okay, he transforms into other fighters here. Let's see if he does it Oh my god Oh, I love crazy frog We fight commenced Dude, this is next fucking Jen just in the middle of the fight you hear Better than we are creeping in jail jay the little hit to his head would god. They're fighting like they're both tired already It's like a beautiful dance They've had to put up with a lot today I'm not gonna lie though that music really does make every fucking fight better It doesn't it's really it's undeniably. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, this should have been in the saving private ryan soundtrack But I appreciate it. You made me bleed. I'm angry about that He's gonna summon a snake The back of his head he's doing this now I like how he gets punched once and then he summons his full power He's like he's like this man is clearly a threat And what's CGI monstrosity will this be I'm so excited. Yeah, me too me too So I think what's happening here is in a fighting game when your opponent starts charging Ah, it's real people you get worried about whether or not you should go near them in case they do some kind of AoE blast wait, could he have summoned them anywhere or specifically only this Oh What is this this is cheating Some guy underneath who had to push them up, you know Really it's like yes, he's going really into a little happy. Yeah Wow, I don't believe that that was so dangerous dude. You could have had all your hands cut off All of them One of the rules is to hit near his head but never on his head Nice Where did he go? He like ducked his head down and covered his face. Why is the samurai looks so silly It's something they do the fucking don't take a moment to be like what what happened Where did he go? Shang Tsung's probably like this guy's fucking suck. I paid them so much buddy So this is a lame thing for Shang Tsung to do like he should just want to fight him alone If you remember though I want him to point just be like i'm going to kill you Get him Okay, now you can Clearly not his actor was just happy to get more screen time I like the idea that he's like you wouldn't punch your own brother and then before you finish the sentence He punched oh, this was not this is actually the the actor for the evil man And they just put a bunch of makeup and stuff on him. Oh, wait. No. Is this the soul of the brother that got captured Like no, he's just saying to song shifting shape. He's just believing it because why not shang the shung shifting shape I'm glad you said that because I was thinking it wait Why the fuck hasn't there been a single fatality outside of people falling over in school? No That allows these things to go through the stone floor If they did a bay ballad in this movie, I would like it like for the final boss. I'd be so fucking happy Every man is responsible for his own destiny. All right. Yeah. Wow the timing of the yeah the done done What he's gonna throw you onto the knives bro look out Unless he throws him onto the knives. No way. Oh, no Look if you do it Okay, wrong way try again. He's run out of energy suddenly. Didn't he have energy? Now it's all gone spent it all fighting us acid spitter that don't shoot acid Oh, yeah, bring back reptile. He was the best villain Oh his hair is ruined. What no, it's it's okay now. Does he in better now? They fix it between cuts. It's fine He's just regenerating hair. I am the chosen one He's a chosen one Well, he is but this every man He's chosen one. Yeah, I kind of chosen one thing at the very end here. Oh There goes your face. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so this is so embarrassing. I'm so Sometimes my soul is just all those souls and you still don't have one of your own. Oh damn guys. Oh Shit Oh, you have a lot of pokemon cards, but I bet you didn't make one Oh, no, they don't punch to the stomach. Here we go. It's all set. Here we go I'm so angry to really be more careful No, oh Come on. Oh, is this one? Oh, it was just one Victory That doesn't mean what I'm thinking I was one of god's chosen ones and now I will go to heaven. Who are these people? We did it. Are they the monks? You've fallen into my trap. The only way I was able to get into heaven is by dying. His body's like, thanks, bro Thanks for my mission, Hitler. This was the only way for me to get into heaven. Thank you. Look, are you afraid to be? I went early about to do that. I now return to earth I still use Lanti eyes for honorary Aryans. Yeah, so the people he fought I guess they're just unconscious and they got their bodies back I mean, he took the effort to come out here and have a have a chat Do you think there'd be a lot of randies just coming out and be like, what's going on? What is this? Oh Yeah, it's used in a lot of stuff. Yeah, yeah, I don't you own deep minor Let's go home How are you going to go home? Do we even go home? They open the portal idiots. They open the portal Yeah Dude run to do shit. Why are they so happy? What is what is what are the flag? What's that? Oh raiden? I forgot that was the character He didn't do it I guess you knew it would end this way Didn't have a clue. What is with his voice changing? How why they're all happy they haven't gone on any arc. They win maybe maybe samsung had his voice and it was released And now it's free Oh What is it? What? Oh, yeah, I'm evil. That's right Oh, oh my god He looks awful. Oh, Jesus. I don't think so I can hear the voice part of that That was awesome. I guess he had a catchphrase. There you go. That was Yeah, someone really is It told you it was ten out of ten. I haven't had that much fun watching a movie and like Dude, I told you a lot of fun. It's so good. Isn't it? Ten out of ten. It was really good. I can't The cdi is obviously terrible because I understood anything though. That was probably yeah I'm gonna have to take off like 300 points for no smoke. Giant's pile of shit Is there an after credit scene? It kind of annoys me. No, it's just tenderless credits It's like it the movie knew what it was It was a movie about a fighting game not a love interest or romance or anything like that with tons of dialogue They just one half It was like a quarter of the movie was introduction and then they just beat each other's ass Honestly as a mortal combat film is kind of lame. That's not that much and why are violence and fatalities? He aimed everyone. Yeah, it's really funny. I really hoped he would just get fucking skewered in the spikes at the end It's like no, there's one. There's no blood. I'm going to have a nasty later Yeah, wait if he doesn't have a soul of his own what happens to him He's dead. Well, as you saw rex turned into a skele man. He's like Oh, yeah, that's right. He turned into the depressed me and I don't How did you don't follow that? Well, they need to spell raiden properly the guy who Just a question mark. We don't know who these people are They told us these were the roles part of the movie. That's boy. I'm still gonna maintain I think luke keng's hair was the fucking hottest part of that entire movie. All the females be doomed Sonya wearing that sweater on the tropical island This guy over here had the best that way really pulled me out of the movie when their when their fashion was not suited to the weather Really does it bugs me because I knew that actress was sweating up a fucking In that sweater. This is how he tried to Maybe Maybe humidity did not exist in that particular like pocket dimension. Maybe it's probably it probably did because they were next to an ocean These are all the forearm In the emperor's asshole. I thought we went over this They even got ed boon to be the voice of scorpion. How about that? Wait, really? Yeah, that's awesome. Wait. Do I know that? Ed Boon Fucking old man from up He was so excited. He was like what really ed boon Asner I was just like it's a fucking ed asner what had the creator of modal combat the other the guy old guy and stuff One is clearly better I mean, look I I have some bad news like this movie was so fucking good that I realized You know like those people that watch avatar and they were sad they couldn't be in the avatar world They just like killed themselves. I'm gonna do that now You're still gonna be in the modal combat. Well, you go go be fine. I do remember that. Yeah I remember the the news and all the avatar suicides. Yeah, well wait, did they actually kill themselves? Or would they just like I don't want to live anymore? No, they were they were avid. They were suicides apparently Pandora was such a wonderful amazing incredible place and they really wanted to fuck those blue people But it would never ever happen that they got super depressed go to the disney thing They made like a will to whatever is that excluding all the suicides of people who just thought it was a lame movie It was just Pocahontas in space and shitty knows dances with wars in space. It was dancing. Yeah Seriously, I don't think I've quite finished processing the whole reptile thing. That was incredible That was very strange and then it led to like one of the actual more believable fight scenes of the movie You think the This was made in an era where like it all made there was some guy with a whole set of books and stuff She's like, no this all makes sense, but like the audience isn't gonna give a fuck just throw it in Okay, can I just say these credits are way fucking longer than I could have ever predicted they were gonna be Yeah, you think like 12 people made this movie, but apparently genuinely. Yeah, genuinely. You're like, oh, this is Oh, look the plasterer made it Repile is interesting because in the game you could only make the character appear in the first game under very specific circumstances Like he wasn't catering twice. He wasn't a playable character But if you killed another character in a certain way in it on a certain level You could get him to show up as like a fatality bonus kind of thing So I'm wondering if that went into this movie where it's like the conditions of getting him to appear in the movie You have to be so fucking weird. That's probably it. It made it really It made it a mystery on how to unlock the reptile fight My my favorite fucking thing about mortal combat because like back in the day My cousin who now is like a game developer for like id or whatever He would just show us mortal combat and he had VHS tapes of him chronicling every type of fatality and babality and friendship So it was interesting to find out like this is how you unlock smoke It was whoa all the easter eggs, but it's like it's like the only thing I remember about it was just all the obscurity You had to get the gaming magazines to figure out all the secrets Yeah, I guess uh, I guess it's time to um jump forward How many years was it? 25 years 26 26 years into the future They tried again Keyword tried Well, I don't know what to expect from this new one. I don't have high expectations I'll say that and can I just say if you thought mortal combat was bad You should check out mortal combat annihilation, which manages to be about 10 times worse If you imagine that it has some of the most atrocious lines of dialogue You'll ever see like there's a bunch of top 10 lists Oh, yeah, you'll see a line for mortal combat annihilation on there one of them's like when was that like um 96 97 Maybe it came out pretty quick after like one character insults another character and their response is literally like too bad You will die On that level You gotta enhance that party is over for you Like they gave it a line. They're like too bad. You will shall die or something Then they're like i'm gonna add a dramatic pause too bad. You Shall die All right, i'm back No, is it are we waiting for anybody? Are we already going still here? I'm ready to get more. You're already just like god fucking damn. It's chasing. Yeah, I mean we could start. Yeah All right. Well, yeah, all right. So yeah, I'll count it down because what else is that? I'm already bored. I'm already Right another one started with mortal combat and then zero 10 It's like already do do do all the pieces are going to change and make them all the combat symbol right? I already missed. I already missed the ps1 grass. What is sub zero going to do with ice? Explain yourself Asians looking good so far. It's amazing how they make this forest seem like a set So that means he's going to be scorpion see now I mentioned the three buckets thing in the previous movie And she just said I need more than two buckets. So I don't know feeling like this continuity already They're explicitly speaking japanese. Is luke king japanese or is he Yeah, I felt like they king louis. You mean luke king luke king luke. What's his name king louis Can I go check on the the baby basket? Of course They're so dead. Well, she's dead Now that's me What they're digging in the dirt. Oh, no, just just it's fine. You wouldn't understand you wouldn't get it Oh, because I'm dumb Fucking nice. You just you just not familiar with it. That's all I've tilled the earth before name one time you've done that Oh hike. I didn't write it down. There we go. Gotcha Well, well, well you've got a tier two What's wrong little ones like mom's a baby they fucking yell There they are right on time Oh my god. Oh my god. All right already. This is an upgrade Find hanzo. Oh, no chinese a symbol overwatch, you know, how do you make a model combat movie that doesn't get coded blood and shit like that's It just kind of seems like a logical progression. You gotta do They got the funny part down in the previous movie, but this one might have to oh my goodness Hi This is our home. Oh, that's that bodes well. He dropped the sword. That's good What are you doing stupid child? Stop pull my finger. I'm going to see hail thing Well, they did bring back hitler in the previous movie. So Oh Damn it. My hand is freezing. Oh, so that would be sub zero. Look, he's way cooler in this one But this is og sub zero and not the main one. I don't think that's good. I don't even know if he'll do that in this film Oh, what's with all these ice people? I don't mean that's just mainly the one people with ice powers That takes me a long time to fill up these buckets. No, you spent so long Idiot also he killed a bunch of people didn't he was didn't he hear the screams before now? No, they died quietly. I guess he didn't know. Oh, jeez a second. You were alive when I left Oh, dear, they definitely weren't frozen. Hey, honey. Hey, honey. Hey, hey, hey ice to meet you Hey, hey, hey, this would be like if you made a writing class. You'd be like he has a family they get killed What a mean protagonist. He's gonna be pissed and probably kill a bunch of people He said I'm so lucky to have you. So they're fucked honey. Why why aren't you talking to me? How come you're giving me the cold shoulder? Oh, no Yeah Oh Oh, oh finally. Yeah Yeah Oh, he needs that Oh, that's a lot of blood. Nope. Just keep chopping blood. That's that's the silly amount of blood. Where was that guy going? This is definitely more of what I wanted in terms of violence. That's more combat. You need a silly amount of blood More to come There we go. There it is. There it is. All right. Welcome up. This is way better than the stupid snake thing He had plenty of time to die when it hit this target. Oh my good god, that is so funny What? Yes, sir Okay, that weapon is just gonna be growing on me. He's definitely growing on me. He's definitely just better off using that little sword Yeah So that's original sub zero then I don't know. Are you sure that ain't scorpion? No, that's original. So that's scorpion. Oh, wait, we're getting Theon is the name of original sub zero Oh, okay. I thought you meant the guy with the speed. Look, let's make it simple. He worked with subs here. I'm like, are you sure you're not confused? When is all right, buddy? When is when is yellow scorpion man gonna turn into a skull with lava blood? That's what I want to know Hopefully soon This movie already feels like a penance for what they did to these characters in the last film Oh, you should have just walked away for a bit. No one makes me bleed my own blood Oh my ice blood. No Hey, wait till that guy gets lava blood. He really cool Must be either lava blood or ice blood. It'll be lava blood, right? Oh, I think ice blood will literally be cooler. Oh, he's digging in. Oh, oh, this is really bad No, my jammy honestly with how much he went up there. You're probably doomed already. Oh, oh, that's really bad Ah Finally such a nice hole Don't stop to look at wounds keep going This is the thing I need to know if this is model combat rules where it's literally like you can pull their intestines out I think this is just a fright all their bones. I feel like if you get slammed by a rock and you bleed that much You're probably dead. No, that's what I mean. Yeah Right, but Ronald model combat rules. I'm referring to health bars and not Yeah, it's all that matters health bars There's actually feel like the game where you get your next nap middle of combat and then That's fine. You can't have that. You're some zero. You can't Why would you stab him there? Okay Fatality Oh, he wasn't dead yet I don't feel like that's a fatal place to be stabbed. Yeah It is when your health bar is empty Why'd you say that in english though? You're gonna wake up now Yeah, I mean, you're gonna wake up. Maybe he really did have one HP left one HP. Come on, buddy Yeah, see that's not a fatal place to get stabbed. Yeah, but it was Intestines It's that's That's superficial. It's a flesh wound after the match is done in the game. The guy you just killed gets back up It's more than a video game Hey, man, not everybody gets two death scenes. That's pretty cool. Oh the fires of vengeance There it is. Now he gets to be a skull with lava blood and it's gonna burn down the forest But awesome. Since I have no idea what we're dealing with in this Is that literally like his anger has made him a spirit of vengeance or some shit? We're doing yes, that's exactly like um, like that nicolas cage movie with the stone I do I do wish to watch both ghost ride as brief. That means at some point Oh Because he asked to be so yes, the CGI is slightly improved, but I mean dagger, but I hardly know her Whoa He looks like um Who's the blind is a toy chi the blind swordsman his eyes look so much better Again, it's been like over a generation. So it's better. Yeah, 26 years. Uh, they better shape it up even the rain looks better That's a good thing That one charred corpse Oh Dude when he teleports into the other side just splatters everywhere people like what was that? Oh, if her realm is on the verge of catastrophe should it lose one more tournament the savage realm of outworld will invade But an ancient prophecy foretells that a new group of champions will be united by the rise of hanzo hasashi's blood Yeah, that is the standard opening story. Yes. Here's our boy. Look hang This is yeah, yeah random. Oh, it's on your blade. That's not so what I I haven't seen this yet. I just know that this guy's the new edition. I think they put him in instead of johnny cage That's the story anyway And yeah, a little max sucks What yeah, I'm great at this range. It's jacks probably hey, it looks like jacks sands robotic arms though What do you mean fringy? I don't know what you're talking about That's an expression. Hey, he's yeah, he's like, uh, it kind of turned on Oh, I just realized kano really did die when he died. Yeah, that was it. Oh, yeah Yeah Oh, man, give me a break such enthusiasm advice. Come on You're supposed to die you fucking loser Lola's victory I'm disappointed in you brother It's like look at my face Hey, it's updated cchi will devote world sweet. Tell you do those things spin on the side. That doesn't look safe Be nice bit of continuity. I wouldn't want to hang out on the edge of that. Wait. Oh, there's a smoke Be quanchi don't think that's quanchi. It kind of looks like noob cyborg though. Yeah, we can teleport through the floor We're we're confirmed Oh, he looks is that oh, no, wait a minute. No, that shanks song Or is that shanks going right there? He looks familiar. He looks very familiar. Is that the Milan guy? Yeah, he's the dad in Milan. He's a dad. You are the daughter. Nice to see. This movie is already better than Milan It is wave. Oh, wow. What you got there? It's a strength bracelet rips in half Yeah, it's a strength bracelet. They don't work It's a really fit for a while, but okay now we got one each You're sure you're okay Those will come up later. What what do you care? You told him not to tap out She will cast spells with it man that took the bell from eddie to bias names jacks Nice to meet you jacks. Yep jacks. Wait, how'd you control the case? Finally eddie to bias Ed boon and the other guy's name was something to uh Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why it's backwards both of them and dragon logo you got I I think that man. It's a birthmark It's maybe like that's a weird motion birthmark. It's very marketable I've been thinking of my superhero dragon man a birthmark like Okay That was a birthmark. I was like no someone burned me I don't remember it. You have it the temporary tattoo as the prophecy foretold. He's drawn off of the sharpie. Oh my god. Look at this He's with his family This is already like significantly more boring. I will say oh my goodness. No, where's the snow coming from? I appreciate the violence, but I want more violence. Maybe there's a fire and yeah kind of like All of this stuff and it's string together all the violence. That's what we need when we have more to combat Okay, cookie jar. Yeah, what's this emotion and contemplation doing in my mortal combat movie the way they got this shot I feel like she's about to get killed. I wonder if uh Sub-zero has anything to do with this. Maybe Sub-zero kill it. I don't know why sub-zero would have anything to do with Suddenly Oh, no the mustard now. That's awesome. So you know, this is where you run towards your family Right. Oh, yeah, that is smoke. Oh, this is smoke Sub-zero well sub-zero Maybe it's vapor Vapor, what's he doing? What's this? Oh, no Oh I feel like going inside would be the things to do get in my car I don't see how the truck would be being safer If it's going through no, that's bullshit. It's going through that are very dependable and durable. Um Oh, jeez car. What's what's sub-zero's goal here because he doesn't seem to execute very well I guess he wants to kill him to be really tried a little harder, couldn't he? It's after both of us. Look That's impossible. Oh my god. We're related. That's the same birthmark. It's impossible. Somebody branded you too. I mean birthmark Okay, I'm points doctor. They've chosen one thing. That's stupid. Yeah, of course They had to fucking throw that in there. See like I I I understand this is a movie releasing in 2021 You gotta have fucking hallmarks of like a cinematic movie with all this Quickly reverse. Well reverse Probably not good for you just get out of there, please It's kind of my car because it doesn't go it kind of seems like he's got both Sub-zero and noob cybot powers like if they're teleporting and stuff Yeah, but he's gonna be a smoke. So I have to wonder what's going on. Yeah, well Noob cybot kind of has a weird flimby black smoke thing kind of yeah when he teleports Why didn't you just leave over there and shoot him? Why not? Let's see if it works. Oh, he's gone. Fuck He walked away. What are you right now? There's weird smoke stuff. It is right, but it's cool I wouldn't be going anywhere near this shit. Yeah. Why did you yeah stay in the car? Ronald, why do you want to travel quickly? Oh, no, no, because Kenneth has to lose his arms. I wouldn't have to Oh, yeah, probably Oh, does he get robot arms well Yeah, I mean he already said give him five minutes. Oh, he's got a fucking destroyed this Jacks and jacks Oh, well, it's a there's one barrel, but the bottom two are you probably should shoot Quickly not hold the gun. Hold the gun. Don't hold the gun. That's cool It looks great the ice cool. Yeah, that looks really cool When you think of using more of his ice powers That's six tours motherfucker He's got three medals of honor He's got three medals of honor Get him jacks No, jacks can't win this one No, unfortunately He hatched up his arms. That was a pretty mean bitch slap. Yeah, you gotta freeze his arms and then blow him up Yeah, we'll have to happen Oh, no, he's sort of doing it. He's sort of doing it. So so far. I'm still more impressed by the production value of the first movie Oh No, yeah, there they go. Here we go. Those are some good frost effects though. Oh, that is grim I don't like that at all. Oh There they go Stay in the van next time. Good night. He's probably not dead though. Oh Okay, that would be like hell Oh, they crumbled even more. I'm so happy that this movie is like really leaning into the violence same I'm actually having a little bit of fun here. I'm having a lot of fun This is super fun, man Yeah, I just want less of the cinematic fucking shot reverse shot character conversations and more just murder and blood everywhere Give us more drama and stuff like that. Give us more fights more gore more violence and cut out all this boring stuff Yeah, I think the less scenes we have with little mac the better little mac. He's too tall to be little mac Well, I guess he's meant to be our like generic hero Outsider who gets taught all the stuff about mortal combat and he has the voice Johnny the perfect example like to do Johnny would be a better way to do it because he doesn't know any of this but he's exactly In a man and again, I mean you get the benefit of he's like he's probably mostly white But he has a bit of asian in there. So it's like they have that Older enough right on there. Oh, look Wait, is that it's gotta be katana, right? No, that's melina Yeah, man outworld is shit. Oh, that could be melina. That's why they want to Face is all fucked up. Why did anybody Why did anybody think that was katana? What was the argument? No, you wouldn't chase trust me. Yes, I would trust me You wouldn't it's I'm very creative with my suicide. They walk here every day. Leave the other gods to me We didn't win nine straight. So this is Because he's he's oh, hey, look, it's oh my god Not a very good grade screen. I assume from the last would be that this statue's gonna come to eat here Sand, what are people doing sand with ketchup? They just eat each other and pour the kessex from earth. Yeah rags. That's that's why they want to take over earth realm They're they're outworld sucks. Yes, and then they're gonna terraform it to be exactly like outworld I think they just want to live here and ruin everything else. They like that. We have bushes of green So he kept the car Yeah, whoa Chill out, bro. That's a crime. Wow. Damn. I think they want to eliminate the green soon. There will only be blue It's only dark gray rocks everywhere Oh, sonia Blond and she has a torch. She's got a torch Yeah, because she is she a cop cononically? No, she's special forces, right? For the sake of changing the car military bit. Why are you shining at my fucking eyes? Yeah, please. Let me do that in movies. It's very rude. Are you just waiting out there to ambush a guy with your hands? Close the door. Don't pretend like you don't do that. You guys are military. Look, she's friends with jacks Special forces and then all special forces called regular forces I'm just good. Yes Just regular. Is this part of your trailer? Right. I'm thinking this is like Damn, I've got a really big trailer. Okay. Doctor Who bullshit here with your Oh, what an advanced. It's PC You just met this guy like two minutes ago. She knows him. She's been studying Could you imagine going into a room like that? You all over the wall like that? There's not enough like okay. I'm gonna go ahead and leave now You really wanna fuck me Look, I get it. You're a fan. Oh To fight for something known As mortal combat Mortal combat They misspelled it though. They put the k back. It sounds like you made it up. I mean and look they spelled it wrong Hey, you said it too What is this you have a visitor carefully bites Oh Kano that Kano. Oh, hello sunshine. Yeah, it's got me the accent. It's it's kind of look at the eye then Hopefully gets in a very brutal fashion somebody's gonna Supposed to be hostile man Is the best that ever lived he would come off cooler if he was a little more restrained This is this is part of why we were upset that he got so shittily killed in the other one I see if you're a natural blonde Watch his eye. Oh no now I have a metal face. Ah He turns back with a metal face It was that quick. That was the arc Oh no Oh no reptile It's alien. I think that has to be reptiles all green goons. It is reptiles. Yeah. Yeah, it's gotta be Nobody else. No dead. Oh, he's invisible. Nice. Oh, shit. Oh Kick him for no good reason. Oh, I guess he's trying to kill cake. Oh, is I Yeah, there it is. That's how he gets it. No, that could be that. No, his eyes still there Yeah, I'm gonna say this this reptile looks a little bit better than the other one Just a little bit instead of PlayStation one is PlayStation two now. It's ps5 Look at this one. I wouldn't wait for a few minutes. What did I miss? That looks a little better. New reptile He ate the mouse already melted it If luke can't got spat in the face, but that thing his face would be gone. Well, so this is the problem with reptiles We should probably just spill on everybody and win Hey, that's an idea. I like that Yeah, that's fine. Why not? Get him. Get him Now he has a knife too I hated these enemies in resneval four Oh, is this is this gonna be reptile? Oh, he stabbed the flare into him. That's pretty good. They're just gonna try They're already making up for him and the other yeah Yeah, I was just gonna be a good guy and doing things now Oh, look at this little man. Yeah, that looks pretty good. Well, 2021, right? Yo Oh boy, oh Guys help him Guys, wait, what? Oh, what what was the editing on that? Oh Awesome, I thought his hand was melting. I guess it's not Delicious delicious ultra violence that would have kind of been funny though if he was really happy Melted and he had like an omnic skeleton arm underneath it. I know what you mean Is is is the logic here that shang sung is sending his men to kill all of the mortal combat people? Yeah, it's a cheat. It seems like yeah, is um, is k-no a mortal combat person? Yes No, he's not a boy. He's not a combatant. Does he have one on the tattoo birthmark thing? Oh, he doesn't have one of the tattoos. She said no He's one of the characters. He's drawing himself Nice He's my favorite dude. He actually has a personality. Well, yeah, it was like k-no's number one and then 17 Is I don't even know who the protagonist I think it was enough that he used his environment to free himself and then beat the adabee that the other two people couldn't Where is it? Uh, you got a pen. You want to write this down? Get fucked main character guy is going to play Your traditional edgy main character personality k-no actually has a personality And then that lizard thing took off half of my face lucky for me. You can hardly notice it He's so good Why isn't he the protagonist? He should be just god dude Honestly going on adventures. This is the thing that happened in a lot of movies where the protagonist is the fucking lame generic one There's some side character that just steals the show How do you divide that the reason why they didn't have johnny cage in here is because k-no is also in here He looks like a really badass version of robin williams But this is for actual Yeah, you're right. How are you planning on getting us there? Oh, I got a friend with a plan You got friends. Hey, fuck you pretty boy. I'm a popular guy. All right, then He looks like um, who who plays the flash in the the vc movies as marmilla He looks like his older brother. Well, the main character guy is lame as fuck Yeah, that's super lame and like barely a character and I think he's gotten lame by standing next to k-no That's what's happened. Yeah, it really sucks. It's a little pussy If I think he makes k-no look better. They're the fat best friend of k-no I'm still shocked that that turns out to be her actual house Yeah, that's just the state of veterans. It's a sad commentary on the Oh, wow All right Oh, jeez He's still just in hell. I guess give me scolpey and I want to see him fuck people up with his fire Do it Nobody cares about him. No, I was sleeping I think what's making me really happy as well as it for once k-no's actually played by an australian instead of somebody pretending to be australian Yeah representation Is it real and it's an illuminati Deception everyone is pretending even fake stuff to say it's representation. Not wrong actually, you know like lord of the rings They had actual goblins. They didn't just fucking like bringing people in costumes and shit. That's true. Yeah goblins are real. That's actually true Oh, shit He got so much more screen time than the first one Oh, yeah, I feel like whoever made this actually kind of likes mortal combat and they wanted to right the wrongs Just hang on guys. He said he needs a break. I think he's doomed now. You jealous girlie Give me a little marking Hey, I'm talking to you. Oh, dude in the games. This is enough to have a fight captain marvel 2.0 incoming Yeah, round one. It was pathetic in the games campaigns. They'd be like someone goes. Hey, who are you fight? They're like, hey, are you looking at me funny? I'm not looking at you funny He's like fuck it. Let's fight like every fighting game story. Oh, they actually I'll do it is round one. Here we go Like oh, you're supposed to be the best. No, I'm the best. I'm gonna fight you Look, this is very accurate to the games Stupid painter could have known he can't fight he can't beat a woman in today's era Yeah, I like this. He's got the blade to his neck and it's actually making it bleed Take it. I'm not a killer like you We're very surprised if Sonya blade loses anything any battle. Yeah Yeah, I'm starting to worry that she's gonna be insane Well, neither hair and all the protagonists have characters. I just want to see k no's film There's more combat k no I want to see scoping as well. Yeah, scoping and k no We did the thing where everyone except for this If this birth the mortal combat in the universe, I'd be okay with that Looks like Ah All right I'm luke From the shallow end of the flight. I didn't recognize him because he wasn't sure in this realm You just shot a fireball out of your hand. How'd you do that? Does that mean I'm gonna get superpowers at any point? It does doesn't it? There's much to learn the fuck He's saying Why is he touching me? That was awesome The fire comes out of his hand. He puts the hat on his shoulder. He's like the fuck I have a feeling luke King is just dropped into the group like like slipknot is in suicide squad. You're still the next guy He can fireball anything What is all of this we get to the fight now? It's been like what five minutes with no violence Come on. Yeah, they're gonna have like a training fight. Surely. What do you guys eat? Oh, no, is that white? No, that's no. Oh, do you think they'll have baraka? They should They'll definitely have scuro. I don't see chun lee anywhere. Yeah Oh, look, it's when he died Stop teasing scorpion gimme gimme Most violence I want scorpion back. Yeah, I literally couldn't give less of a fuck about everyone other than came out. Okay. Oh conchie Yeah, he steals it Classic canes. She's just wandering off No, look who it is. Hey, there's jacks. Hey jacks. He's absurd. Didn't finish the job Let's go He awaits I'm guessing ridin. I hope it's wounded though The great you think I will the photo play raiden. That'd be awesome. How dramatic has to do that? You couldn't just be like, yeah, wait there a sec. Yeah, he seriously was Hold on. Oh, does he just sit there in this room with his head down really at least he has a fucking hat this time Jesus christ sitting there snoozing Really cool hat too. I thought he was white at first. I was gonna I was gonna go fall What do I make end up? What's my fortune cookie? Jesus christ Canes like to come up relief in this one. It's awesome. Hope he's okay They tried to kill my family Help us. Oh, he's so generic. Well, I'm willing to die from my family Can that come soon, please dude? He just said in generic action man voice. I'm willing to die from my family That's like from a It's like one of those generic things I like him and then what you do is what you do is you have a camera pan a little and then canes like I'm fucking not This is like a nice little payoff. Yeah. Oh my goodness gracious. There's a bad man. He's coming I like comic relief, but sometimes it gets me. Oh ice boy. All right, finally some violence can happen Let's do it. Somebody but not kill him. Here we go. Oh, give us luke king for some zero. Yes. Come on. Let's do it How you missed Oh and I hit I guess I'm better Oh, you look like you're losing already. Oh Oh Oh, here he is Nice entry. Oh no good up a stone door Oh melina. See there's what look at that bloody face. Nice How long are you gonna back up boys? Keep walking forward. Let's see how far they go. Plus they went over. Does anybody got a gun? Don't you have a gun? Sonya make with the gun. Oh, you're gonna ruin it I want to fight I want to fight No It's kind of in the star wars dome. Yeah, it's like a force field. I want to fight though I feel I feel blue balls. Yeah a little bit. Yeah, I was kind of hoping for a fight there The point of your training is for you to unlock that power without it Defeating up world will be impossible. Wow little vein to have a statue Yeah Well, they made it for him and he didn't want to be rude He's like no, no, it's not me. It's like my dad. It's fine. Well, it's up there now. So Yeah, I mean it took a lot of work to get it up there. So What else gonna shit out of my ass like knowledge of guns? You ever shut up No, it's good that he's speaking. No allow him to speak silence woman You will be the one to speak less woman. Who wouldn't be here without her. She's one of us A fighter without a mocking can never achieve that kind of and a fighter Always win every fight is a liability to the others Yeah, my ability. Yeah Go away Sonya bloody get out of here This can anyone have a conversation without him like finishing it off. He does have the little mock thing right? Hey Yeah, this is a funny this is a funny comment and then everyone just goes I guess that's the end of that sentence And conversation moving on what else are we gonna do word? It's fights and then listening to him Let's fucking jokes like once in a scene like he's like benda from futura. Everyone's like, I'm serious He's like, I'm not lull and they're like I see and then they just let him dominate the conversation So fucking lucky. I want him to play this comic relief like that. Oh if I were in this scene I would say this funny thing. Oh, that's so fun. That's relatable He's the only person hating. Why are you? He's such a killjoy All over here having a great time This he rips into squad anime and now he's ripping into cameo. I have a problem with chase The first time history chase You need to kick me Dude, I'm gonna cut your hand. I'm gonna cut your hand. Now saw him in half Take him out of the fucking thing. Wait, if we're doing a practice fight Uh practice fight probably should involve the lethal Kill him. Is it really worth having the lethal weapon in the practice fight? Oh, watch out That thing I hope I see that chop a head off in there. So otherwise, I'll be very sad You know, maybe your arcana is getting your ass kicked by a hat Huh, he's right That's very funny. I hope he comments on everything that happens in the tweet forever Every time a thing happens About kano just watching movies if it was kano movies. Well, yeah, no, that would be great Yeah That's the fight He's useless. Isn't that hilarious Hey chase wouldn't be annoying if someone commented negatively on everything. Yeah, it would be. Yeah, like the kato character. Yeah Yeah, yeah, put a fucking shirt on magic mic That was a very good very fresh reference. Thank you. Thank you kano. Very talkable. If only he referenced out of it Oh good. He actually did get cut by the hat. Hey, healing it with ancient magic. I don't care what you have to say. I want 10 of those What what is what did he put in there? He just stabbed him. It's You thought he was like showing it closed magic acupuncture. Is that what he's doing? What is he doing? What i'm hoping is that they front loaded the exposition and all that stuff So that the second half of this film was just nothing but fights Please i'm kind of hoping kano switches sides and it gets to be a funny thing Well, I mean, he's a bad guy normally, so yeah, I think he's not just a bad guy No, we'd be often does the switchy sidey thing like that's his thing. Yeah, he's like kind of a chaotic neutral almost It's like the little Oh now we're gonna get the montage until he wins I guess Great, you got to believe in yourself I need to see a hot be pulled out. Come on. Oh, look at those weedy robot arms I'm assuming he gets blasted by a ray of robot arm energy. It looks like a little t-rex. Yeah Yeah, it looks dumb. I guess that's Two point over Upgrade it or he's gonna do something to him. He'll fall into a vat of robotic arm It's just a big old bucket. Maybe he gets like adam gents and rmc Are we halfway through? Where's kano's laser eye? The end. What's his that kang pao? Oh Yuri has painted on mate egg roll There you go. Good boy All right Seeing how you wouldn't be ready to fight if you had a hundred days to train fat lazy pig terrible fighter zero skill You're like a dog. So how did he so I feel like the issue is that they're kind of Like Yeah, it's like I was bugged in how they just made him lose that fight like for comedic effect It's like let me ask you. Yeah, the shit out of reptile the good will Yeah What's the analysis of his fighting style was a little more intelligent and not just like you are you have zero Your big zero skill and you are stupid and fat Yeah Everyone's pissing him off. Is he gonna get all pissed and fire a laser is that what You're angry. Oh fucking nothing gets by you, does it? You some fucking cave dweller hippie twirling his anal beads taking orders from this Holy fucking shit Are you serious? Why does he have a laser eye? He already had it Yeah, he's growing on me now He was funny before but it was just he was he was just like an obstacle in the writing where anytime anything would happen He would be like Feel Yeah Stupid No, no, I love comic relief. I just like it when it's a little bit more Selective and not just every fucking other line when it's successful He was a little too much for me at the start I caught me off guard But like he's easily the best one of the best parts of this movie Yeah, I'm definitely I'm definitely agreeing initially. I was just like, all right. Yeah, we get at your quippy Just like let the other characters talk for like half a second. No, don't let little mac talk. He's terrible They have nothing to say I like how I say I like him, but I was a little annoyed by some of his comedy and you guys just said How could you not like him? He's a funny man. You have to like the funny man Chase is upset that he ostracized himself No, I'm just blown away Rags is so right. I still wish we had more fights when Dragon Age 2 came out That's why I appreciated how all of your answers could be sarcastic and witty because I just wanted a sarcastic witty enjoyable protagonist and anything kind of wait, you didn't choose to have your character to be like epic and dramatic and everything They say like I'm not ready. I don't know The conversation options in that game in the second one definitely mattered a lot and not the heck and stuff Oh, shit. Are they getting scorpion back? Can we have scorpion now, please? Dude sub zero and scorpion fans must be so fucking happy with the treatment so far in this world Visually, yes, and we've had the one fight maybe two fights But I want more gimme like if I can't see blood pouring out of wounds. I don't know what I'm doing Do not give up on this I'm sorry. I have to do this Before I am the protagonist Diagonist personality protagonist line. I hate it. It's like I thought we dropped this in the 2010s ish It's um, if anyone's seen king of the monsters the protagonist in that is the exact same Yeah, yeah At least he was funny bad like he was enjoyable in his awfulness like we can make fun of him easier This guy's sure. Oh cabal. Oh cabal. This character's cardboard. There's nothing. I think these guys are bad. Oh my god Nittara And also is cabal from like new york you talk like that well, that's hunk from resident evil Did you see a guy down there complete fucking asshole answers to cano? Oh my god I love it He's a low-life piece of shit scumbag You're gonna love him Come on cabal. Yes Oh, oh, do we have a character that chase the troops out? He approved of him to go briefly. Also, we got cano too. Come on movie pull it together. Oh, this is gore. Oh, this is gore Yeah, he's got the arms. He's got so many arms. Dude. Just make them make everybody fight Satisfyingly and I will give you a thumbs up movie. Please That's all I want. Yeah, I don't take orders from anyone cabal then you're on the wrong side Fight with us and you can have more money than you know what to do with You could turn this old temple into your own casino if you wanted to just name your price I would imagine he's just gonna be strict evil for the rest of the bad guy. Yeah, I know you don't want to see him die But he that's what cano'd do Yeah, it was really good idea going back to your house. It's not like Subzero came to your house earlier. It's trying to kill you fucked up your six exactly We have all these other characters and all of a sudden you go back to this guy. Oh, yeah This guy's supposed to be the like this kid. Yeah, see here he is gonna fuck up your family Thanks for showing up. It is infinitely amusing that he's there like, you know new guy and he's like the worst absolute Oh, no, he's doing evil No Well surely raiden can just make it again, right? Maybe he needs a staff. Oh, no spooky. Oh geez. Well, here we go. Let's get some fights We are honestly, we're running out of time. Just better. We better start fighting. That's an entrance He's he's all about that He loves his entrances. The undoing of the prophecy has begun Kind of a lame name, isn't it the undoing of the prophecy? Man, you are having a hard time opening that door on you, buddy Oh, there he is. You should just smash through it Damn god, you suck What up? You're gonna go away. The world of warcraft movies looking a lot different Why would you go for them instead of the guy? I don't know why you would even bother. Yeah Yeah Oh, well, these guys these two are helpless and they're not running inside. So you just crush them Crowbar, that'll help you crowbar a mirror and a rope. It will though. Yeah, why wouldn't you want a crowbar? It's not gonna help you as much as maybe like Oh, thank god. Yes There he goes. Oh, yes. Oh jacks needs better arms. What is this? He's just a fight before he gets enough. Oh, shit. Was that a lion's out? Oh, damn. Oh, like a panther. Yeah, it is really amusing just because Oh, look at that transition. I like a little double punch that was cute Hey, fuck him up. Oh, well, he's dead. Oh Damn, how are we? Oh, we've got to get the payoff where she opens her mouth. You got to do it It's a girl fight. Can't fight. Ha ha. This is serious chase. Someone could get hurt Oh, I feel like you're dead. No, he's got powers. He's gonna unleash his powers Where the fuck is scorpion gimme? Oh, he dropped his crowbar Ow, how are you alive? Oh All right, we got some injuries I was gonna say mole combat rules though. She's probably fine. Yeah She's only lost like Do it. Do it. Open your fucking face Show your teeth Little bit lesbians lesbians This is not the blood of a chosen one Was that a meow? Okay. That was my cat I can't get upset by that same Oh Why are you just not I guess you can only kill the chosen one I guys I'm pretty sure he's doomed especially because he's got traitor tisms on him right now. He's got to get him up You know a story's work. He's got to get cool weapons. They just lost a fight, but she lost to another You know what? We'll still have cave cabal. He seems kind of cool Oh, that looked awkward as fuck Oh god, Nisara, here we go. Go grab your hat. You need it. Go stand in the corner Just surrounded by Well, remember he can jump through the floor and stuff do that. Oh, he's doing that thing where he appeared. Yeah Oh, he's doing how pig with the monks doing the movies where they're super calm and though they do something Yeah, oh, wait, was this the plan mystical That is a fatality The one thing I will say is I have no I I didn't know he controlled the hat that way Any fans of the bat character lady because she's I don't think people that could care about it are that much Why aren't you killing him? No, no, no, don't help No, no, no finish him off rip him in half, please. He's he gets his power because his family's in danger Oh, no, maybe you'll be of the car and then you'll be like no that old Ford ain't gonna start passing. Yeah. No Oh, yeah, here it is everything's written in place. Oh, no, it's not being in a quiet place Yeah, here it is. Here comes my family. No Uh-oh It's a bracelet. What is this? That's a strength bracelet. That's what they do. What's happening Oh That's cheating though. Oh, it's just like black. Oh, he's he's he vibrator man or something Oh, he doesn't least just grow out sneak up on your enemy by the way Dude, he has literal plot armor This cg is quite good for his face in my opinion. Good that you said in your opinion So he's like gathering up hits and energy. Yeah, there's black panthers You think that in your opinion would protect you Roll away Okay, so now you just know to punch him in the head, right? Just punch him in the head. What is this System. Yeah, you just see gauge power from getting here and gets red gets stronger Oh, I guess well What okay, okay. Oh come on With the power of being punished And you get this That seems hardly fair. Does he even know what's happening with his own body right now? Is he like Planner is he just like oh fucking cool. That's awesome He looks so sad. He's like Come on It's okay. I have three more. I don't know things are gonna fall out. That's good I like how it's fucking like open at the bottom Yeah, pretty cool. Oh Things falling out like I said now you're giving us what we want. Well, I came here. Listen. I'm really sad This was Johnny Cage. I was gonna say Yeah, I just wanted one of the characters doing this. That one's a little bit more upsetting because it's gore Goro is That's happened, but yeah goro deserved a better death than that. I'm sorry That was kind of cool, but the the character's still kind of boring. I don't know He's extremely boring every moment that people aren't getting stabbed and dismembered in this movie I just kind of to know uh and him trying to save her will give him crazy super duper He's super crazy. Do you want to remember? Oh, yeah, he's the chosen. So is that like a rule in this world Do you sort of just get powers based on what you want? Well, oh, yeah, here we go Yeah Oh my god. Oh Magic Okay, why is this happening now? I don't know because he really wants it. That seems to be what everyone's arms look now Everyone gets their powers when they really really want them and a time of need or something when they really feel like having them So I guess we're going for some powers right now if that was the case did kano need to be really really pissed at somebody about to say that He really needed that egg roll I don't get that. What the fuck he's just in background like I'm here to say some funny shit soon. Don't worry. I hope so. It's okay He's a doorway back Hey, it's not over. It's not over. Now that I have magic powers. I can kind of compete. How he sucks He walks into it and he dies like no, that was actually just a lightning storm. No, that was just a lightning storm. Yeah Yeah, he just died Oh Nicely done. That's funny. Stop. I would have teleported Okay, so get the obvious weak spot the face Oh jeez. Oh, is he gonna suck out his soul? Not the end of kung lao then. I'm guessing. Yeah, probably He's about to get his soul sucked. Dude. These two have been in this position for hours Did he say he's gonna get his soul sucked? Is that what he said? That's what he said Did you hear those punches? Wait, what is what is What is protagonist doing protagonist help him? Fucking my soul Protagonist, what are you doing? What are you doing? That's just standing there. Just stand there. Well, I guess he could die because he got the whole powerless We could hear a lot. What are you doing? Oh, he's gonna stop other people from saving him too, is he? If we intervene the cg will get considerably more complicated I think this his razor hat went through the yeah, I did hopefully it landed in sonia Shansun cannot follow us here. Dude, that was bullshit Shansun can't follow you here. Why didn't you go there at the beginning then? That's a delinquent powers friend Yeah, that seems to be an issue. Is it just weird? Does she just stare blankly with her mouth a gape most of this movie? She's not much of a character either. You can't Yeah, I can't believe protagonist man forced our kung lao to die. That was lame every stage of life too After kung lao got a really I guess they gave him the fatality so they could Something and the fatality shang sung just it was pretty cool Yeah, that was cool. The gods that forbid them from engaging in one realm was war against another I need sometimes I missed that too. I wasn't really hard and Like directly basically that's oh no, which doesn't feel true because thanks. Oh wait. No, he's sorcery. Yeah. No, I guess I don't buy that I want to see scorpion gimme scorpion. Yeah, I know. Where is that mother fucker? I'm right cheated at this point We need to fight smarter We need to control the fight How all right now you're taking charge Shut the fuck up little mac Is little mac like a new character just for this movie? I think so he's horrible. He's like a new kid in south park. Yeah. He's like the self-insert. He's the self-insert O.C. Is what I've accepted about this character We're gonna show him the power of friendship you guys All right, that's the map. I recognize that was the way not only do you make that character so fucking uninteresting You give him a device that lets him do anything. Oh, yeah, we make him more uninteresting They had to make sonya fight him didn't they Wait, so ridin's teleporting the man here. He's just real street fighter now. What about sub zero? Nobody's taking him out one on one. We saved sub zero for last. Oh, we just established that he's just unstoppable compared to everyone else Okay, why didn't you just why don't you put you imagine the scorpion individually as a group? That seems like a safe bet Come on Malina take him down Why is head off? All right went for the head that time finally I don't care about this one jacksman. Well, no, I want jacks to uppercut him onto the stage death. Yeah Yeah, come on uppercut Where is it come on spike death? Come on. It's fucking brutalizing him Oh It's that All right, I need to figure it out No, I'm sorry for me. He's gotta die No, Jesus. Oh, it's so dumb. He's gonna die Just look at him. He's really not cut the house in half Oh, like how his eye laser is like his tick. He just has to do it all the time and voluntarily Unless you lose your fight there's no tension here because he's already beat this guy like We already know he's gonna lose See at least he's not unstoppable. All right, she's taken hits. So at least there's that Yeah, at least this yes, even though she's still too overpowered You're gonna get people commenting on this like oh just because of girls Winning in a fight dude anybody watching this probably wants him to win too Oh, no Maybe who get his laser eye What he's gonna get his He's got his magic laser from working Short circuit how do you short circuit magic? What was that bottle you threw at him? I don't I don't know what he threw at him. Let him survive and be in the next one. Please Yeah, give him his cool little Who made this thinking that they want her to win? Tell me Lundi, how does that feel? Oh What it's the little gnome we saw earlier had a little life. He could still be alive No, this is That's fucking lame This guy's cool. Both of these guys. Yeah cabal and yeah, cabal might die though because he's gonna slip Because he's the bad guy. He has to lose What how could you do that? Oh, there it is I love that they always keep that Oh, no, he's in the pit. He put him in the star wars quicksand in the mud Oh, he's gonna burn him cabal's already been burned. That's his whole thing. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yes That sucks so much. Yeah, that's pretty cheesy dude Cabal cabal's playing dragon. I'm going to nom on you for a moment Can't they just bite him in half like the games? No, he has to go Open that mouth open it. There it is Yes Come on. There it is. There it is. I don't care. I put my dick in that. I'm just saying I wouldn't Oh, what do you know? She appeared behind you. Who would have seen that come on? You can't kill him It's impossible for you to kill him. He's the protagonist Oh That now So she just used him and that's it. Okay. Yeah, at least it's fine. Okay. Well, that's fucking lame She just goes Oh, well, that's fucking Go away Once again, go away. I'm very upset by the choices narratively I was lame Look at you and use his fucking laser. Maybe shang sun is gonna show up here. Isn't the daughter Technically the the the oh, it's some zero Hello there. Kill him all. This is the horror now. You should really lock your doors Everybody forgot about me Well, this is a good neighborhood Well, that's it's no, it's not it's it's just that's the word teleport I thought it was smoke. I'm waiting to put smoke in one of these movies How does he know that that holds any meaning to him? I don't know. I guess you just guess Okay, but did he not kill the family? Maybe it's a trick. Okay. He's so zero should totally fucking win here. Come on. I don't see how he wouldn't you know He's not going to I know All he has to do is shatter the entire arena and then just crush him with the ice Yeah, he can telekinetically control the ice so he can't lose. Is he gonna summon scorpion? Oh, no, he is isn't he? Oh, he's gonna use the scorpion powers. No, I want it to be no I want actual scorpion. Come on Yeah, you don't get what you want because little mat gets to win. I feel like this guy's gonna die already apparently Oh, it's a little bouncy. Oh A little glass little ice trampoline. It's fun. Just just commit freeze him fully commit. Yeah I guess I'm doing it in the in the face. Just do it in the face Oh, I fight for my family. I fight for my family. Now you will die With your family my family. Did you say family? Maybe I won't That's my trigger work the power of my family Martha, how are you doing this? I'm freezing you stop freeze him. It's like, excuse me. Oh, yeah, here we go Yep, listen. Oh, just let me have scorpion and subzero fight. I'm playing enough pokemons to know who's gonna win this one Oh Say it. All right. Well, that's good reveal Get over here. That's perfect Man, this guy, our protagonist is getting bailed out a lot. Yes Make a sword make a sword Oh my god, oh my god Yes This was what we deserved This this kind of just made up for all of your bad points in the movie You know the shitty protagonist gets the final hit They'll find a way to ruin this trust me No, they know that this guy's gotta Yeah, no scorpion's gonna win this one, but then fucking It's like he said in the beginning All right, thanks for showing me almost forgot I didn't need to say that Scorpion Is that like canonical that scorpion's japanese? Yeah No, not you. I don't very little I'm a very little outside of the games She's dead jim. Well, you probably shouldn't do that Just shatter her Please shatter here. It'll be funny. Oh no Okay That was very cool All right, I want to see scorpion fire moves. Let's go Stop it. Just punching me. I first Blast your arms off. Yeah No, you get over here Hey, look, that's a that's a Development of the original time you did it I want to see his fire teleport do it now teleport him to the stick dimension. Oh Oh the clone. Yeah Nice How you guys can think this is cool and anime isn't is beyond me Why are you even bringing that up? Because I always have to talk about anime. He's contractually obligated. No, I just I say anime and you guys like shit yourselves. It's really funny to me Stop Yeah For us to like anime the characters have to be good and they rarely are and all anime is bad No, this guy. I hate him. No, please. What? No, I don't even this isn't even fair anymore out of this. You don't even know this guy I'm part of the fight too Oh, you probably should have No, god damn it. Why would you start doing that when he's clean? He's still there Oh, no We did get the fight Goro does he have to kill this guy too. Do you have to kill sub zero use your fire powers? There we go Bullshit I'm still not I would have way prefered it if you don't the clean kill Fatality come on, but tell it. Oh, yeah, we're getting a super fatality here No Get out of this movie Think everything works every time he appears. He he really does feel like a self insert And then I killed the final boss and I was really cool And then scorpion and I now please and then everyone loved me because I was very cool Oh, that's just okay. This guy who plays sub zero He's like I had my fun now. It's time to rescue. See you Yeah, what did I tell you fire beats ice type every time I've been trained in my childhood to know this. Oh, he's still okay Oh, he's not okay. I could have been better Yeah, exactly. Maybe they're trying to leave it open so that they can bring him back Wow I bought yeah, so maybe that'll be I feel like the stakes are a little more interesting than the actual like outcomes of the fights It's like, oh really that's the round thing Yeah, what was that? You want him to make babies. Did you did you not understand me? Oh, you're talking about him. Okay. No, he spoke Japanese like sorry. I don't I don't know what you told me to do Oh, yeah, yeah All right, he's all right guys. That sounded important. Dude. If sub zero just starts getting back up like oh, thank fucking god Was that a good was that a good shot? Was it a good scene? They just leave it in I want sub zero to stick around, but I just feel like scorpion like would have made sure he's we could just leave the building Yeah, it'll be so cold. Yeah Oh, hey, it's raiden the guy really doesn't Hey, you might do a thing now. Who knows I thought you said you couldn't get involved Okay Oh final fight with shang sung I guess shang sung They worked hard on this set. I mean they got they want to get their money's worth out of it Yeah, no That's actually probably the reason like this. So just really cold you can go somewhere else We said like fucking five hundred thousand dollars in the set. This has to be the final setting You've killed my warriors and you think you have won But death is only I kind of did though Hey, he's gonna be there. There he is. Yeah He'll he'll be goro too That's very original rags. Thank you. I genuinely think that they showed the smoke on those two to let us know those two will come back Yeah, yeah, yeah probably Kano to come back Yeah, we're Oh Damn, you should have done that earlier. You do that old shang sung run away. I'll assemble a new list of champions You must find them Who's first? Oh Who are gonna be our new people though some time movies that the protagonist guy has to be the second one now Surely we can have johnny k. No, they were placing. Yeah. He's just he's off doing something in the distance, right? We just never see him again If we've killed kano our one white guy we can have johnny cage now, right? We're gonna go hollywood Hey, oh, what the hell is johnny cage? Yeah, it's johnny cage Gotta be johnny cage. Yeah, all I know about him is what I saw from mortal combat and he was you know, I want more of him Johnny Cajun's like I want to get a lot of There he is Hey, look at this six out of ten. That's all right. The action parts are great. Everything else is not Everything I really enjoyed that. I just wasn't happy with who won and who lost and how exactly and every Yeah, I like I like the fucking Lockiness of the first movie a little bit more and this one took more of an emphasis on like the cinematic kind of the storytelling And you know, I just like the Yeah The fighting in the first one was shit Or stand out of the the whole show Yeah, it's clearly try and make him a favorite for the audience and then You know do what they did and because what I thought they do was he gets he turns evil But then at the end he turns good again Well, I guess that's well because you haven't played the games. So that's that's what they do in movies You have the guy and he's like And then he starts off okay But they could have done whatever they wanted I think it would have been way more In his character is when he fought sonia She would have damaged his eye again, and he would have run away like a you know, that would have Yeah, I would have been good if it gave him some way to come back. Now he's gone as freeman Hey, he just runs off into the distance little combat genuinely the the new film It could open with him on like an operating table and he's just not dead Okay, I got to ask a question is little mac more or less tolerable than ray from star wars He's the same character He's he's I've never been more frustrated with a protagonist before he's he Does not fit. He's just He feels like a self-insert. It's terrible. He has no personality other than generic protagonist hero His family in any way. Yeah, what can we say about him at all basic stuff is like he likes his family. Yeah Yeah I guess Um, she was only better than protagonist because she didn't have as much of an effect on all the plot Explosive She sort of gave jacks a little bit of inspirational pep talk, but yeah You can then again that was just her being next to a better character. He was just cooler The movie lost me at the gold armor. That was stupid. I Of all the of all the I'm still not even sure what his powers are He literally really invented his ass kicked to get power and they never went for his face other than that His name Cole Cole young was the name of the fucking little mat character. He was the first yeah in the Jesus christ, I I guess I heard his name once and I refused to call him by that because I fucking loathe The character I refuse to store that information about who he is in my brain. I do I can't even I just have nothing like I got nothing about. Yeah He loves his family flingy. Isn't that enough? Interesting I like the schlock of the first movie a little bit more Obviously, this is like a more well-rounded movie But all the cinematic parts just had me falling asleep and I was just waiting for the next fight The first one had no shortage of like hilariously fucking shitty moments. This one was just like the first one was just fight after fight Yeah, it was fucking if this movie had all of the story ripped out And it was just one person after another entering an arena and fighting to the death I feel like I would enjoy that more just with really high octane like expensive cg gore I'd fight that'd be a perfect movie for me. If you just you just want to go watch some people dismember each other It's like here's the movie for you dude get some popcorn get some beer I'm fine with them doing character and story stuff. They're just a shit at it I know that was no exactly I like your personal stuff and character things and characters that you care about but yeah But it should like add something where the woman's fucking unstoppable and skinny And the protagonist is boring and shitty and lame and the one interesting character They do him dirty and like everyone. Uh, it's just he had a good amount of screen time though. He really he really He did have a good amount of screen time It's just it became frustrating to know exactly who was going to die based on the good and bad It was like they were good and bad. So you knew that the bad was going to die He's good. He has to win, yeah Well, yeah, I was like there was no there felt like no tension. It was bummer It felt like they didn't know what they had too because they just erased cabal and cano and it's like Those two were clearly the most interesting people you had. Yeah, this could have been like a fucking amazing movie And it was just like a an okay movie. Yeah, it could have really done more. They were the most fun and interesting to watch You know the ones they killed off Because you know like I think the scene where he was like fireballs are for pussies. That was the moment where I was like Okay, he annoyed me a little bit at first but like now I really like him Everything he said started to really sound more relatable than it did at first. I was like, okay. Yeah, I agree with him there Vampire ladies didn't even get to do a vampire payoff She didn't get to buy anybody a little bit later. I know hope there weren't a lot of fans of the the vampire lady This is not really called themselves like a mortal combat fan in 2021. I feel like that's like super boomer tier I think I don't think I've known many most of them just gonna be general fans where they just they just want to see That's like talking to someone in 2021. They're like, I'm a diehard gi joe fan. It's like really Hey, there's some boomer listening to this like what the fuck Yeah, all you want is now this I'm to do a signature move and then get killed. That's all we want to see Give me that I just think it would have been a better movie if it was anime Yes, I'm definitely when I speak in this voice. This is a bit my very serious I think I think you're using that to to hide what you secretly desire. Yes rags. I definitely want an anime mortal That would look so much shittier with like the gore would be so pathetic They did like an anime matrix movie. They did an anime dead space movie. Yeah, they don't do very well I can't imagine why I kind of hope this does well because I wouldn't mind another watch like I wouldn't mind another Yeah I feel like this is precisely the kind of like it knows what his market is and it should do fine I have to imagine it's going to do. Okay. Yeah I mean just like a fucking goofy blockbuster movie where you watch people beat the shit out of each other and get a Something yeah, I think an average movie going audience will be able to enjoy that even if they know fucking nothing about the series Yeah I'm reading on wikipedia If this film is successful the guy who like some of these people signed on to make four movies Yeah, I think four is optimistic. I'm just I'm hoping for two. Yeah Yeah, I don't need four more movies. I could just have for a couple of Covid come get some of the other Amen They'll kill Shang Tsung in the second one and then Shao Khan will arrive We'll kill him in the third and fourth or whatever and then galactus will arrive. It'll be great I just I just I would like to see a mortal comment movie where we don't have good side bad side Where you think the plot armor is clear I just want a nice tournament setting where you get the characters in who wins or who loses is just kind of Actually gave our protag the fucking plot armor power. That's literally Dozen opportunities to kill him and he threw him into barn beams and all kinds of shit And he just lived treat the protagonist is almost more on the nose and how they treated rey He just did they gave him plot armor. Yeah, because what it does fucking Sonia is like the same thing as our protagonist She literally like didn't get to have it by birth because she was chosen I think she just got one because she killed kato is like how And then she just shows up with death slinkies and then that's yeah, that's her character. So lame He shows up and shoots her and dies Oh, okay That she proved she was already awesome to the universe and the universe like okay, we we believe you now I think I preferred The new version and I would rather see the next one of this than the next one of the prior. However Yeah, this one frustrated me more though. Yeah, that's because you cared. Yeah Well, it could have done so much better with all the you know everything at its disposal in these days But they just didn't yeah, they they fucked up a couple of some moms It felt like it felt like a little bit of a fucking cop out I think it was a little bit restrained like they weren't comfortable with actually going really hardcore leaning into What they still needed that little grounding element when that was unneeded you had What's that movie that's like first person action and it's like he's jumping on a helicopter Yeah, like I wish they went like a hardcore henry route Well, they just made it fucking hyper violent with fucking everything that would have been like amazing But yeah, like you said they felt way too much australian government. They uh Uh, yeah, they definitely definitely felt way too restrained They could have made that so much more balls to the wall entertaining But maybe there's like left me left a lot to be desired, you know Maybe having like a standard sort of people talking in room stuff is what you have to do when you want to appeal to a Mainline audience. Yeah, you gotta have that shot reverse shot I just wish they didn't do that. They just didn't appeal to the main line lean into the camp There's so much you could do with mortal combat. There's so many fucking characters the fact that they like It was just so so squandered. I mean, yeah, look if you want a good mortal combat movie Look no further than mortal combat annihilation Citizen came I get the feeling we're gonna have to cover that at some point It is so bad. It just well, baby. Well if they release a single to this we'll do those back to back I enjoyed the you know, like the the buzz saw fatality the smacking the head fatality and the pulling the heart Of it. I liked all of them. I wish that wasn't it. I wish there was like six, you know Yeah, yeah, it felt so thin. Well, technically you had cabals, right? See sub zero and cabals sort of ends were kind of just like, oh, okay Like they sort of yeah, I think what I want is is bodies being blown apart. I guess It's like just it's like when I when I think back to this one show that I reviewed the first season was like really amazing Everything was super funny entertaining and then they did like a second season like a decade later Like hey, we're cashing in on this and just it was all conversation and jokes whereas the first Season was known for like balls of the wall action and amazing like animation and and budget and then the second one They're just like, yeah, we're just gonna make this like a fucking sitcom now Well, I feel like the protag really held the whole movie back like the whole movie entirely by him because of his existence they weren't willing to really lean in Yeah, chop him the fuck out. We don't need him. I know the main character should have been scorpion I don't know why it wasn't. Yeah. Yeah, I thought that that's what they were going for Oh, well, that's fun. Just that was literally what was holding the movie together was the book and the scorpion That dynamic between those two characters. Yeah, what a weird way to open the protagonist got involved and Like if i'm watching your movie, I shouldn't be thinking get this fucking protagonist out of the film What a weird way to do the movie too like that's probably the last thing you should be thinking about Not something you want to hear for feedback I don't know what is is Sonia blade like a really popular character that people love? She's one of the mainstays of the cost Yeah, she's been there since the beginning. She's got to go in because for both of these movies. She's just been soldier lady Oh, yeah, she can be she can be way better characterized. They've made her lame in both of them really Yeah, she's just a lame, you know modern-day female character in thing and it is super lame No, we'll just get a couple cuts here and there And I would argue the male equivalent is what we got as well where it's just kind of yeah Action hero man who has to fight for his family. You're like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah How strange to have a 10 minute prologue of this story that's clearly set and everything's understood Then we don't come back to that until like the finale Yeah, they spend a lot of time with the protagonist and the little girl and the mom and like No one fucking cares and if they say they do they're lying should have been about scorpion. That's that's it All you had to do The build-up made that a little satisfying when he did finally show up It's just like, oh, are they gonna are they gonna do it? They're gonna do it. There's the hook like that was pretty satisfying But yeah, it's just it felt it felt all too rushed They could have chewed the fat a little bit more in terms of the pacing But they felt like they were really in a hurry to get to the end of the story And they're like we have to he has to hit all of these beats in this exact order at this time And it's just kind of like you just fucking have fun have more have more fun with it It felt a little too serious for what should have been like a schlocky fucking Gory martial arts movie. Yeah, they really held back at certain points. It's just like what you're doing guys big time But then when they didn't hold back it was awesome. Yes. Yeah It almost felt like there were two different directors who wanted two different things and they each got like they divvied up through luck Who would do what and so that's why it felt like the film was just it felt like two different movies mashed together awkwardly Yeah Yeah In the film because sorry, what was the black guy in the very beginning environment and Countering the other person's powers like he's invisible. I'll stick I'll use this knife in this flare and I'll stick it to its back And that was a really cool visual What was the name of the black guy in the beginning that lost his arms jacks jacks. I thought so Yeah, like that scene was that was fucking brutal like that like made me uncomfortable to watch that was really gory And that's that was the thing that's what mortal combat did back in the day Was it even though it was just messing with fucking transparent jpegs and shit It was like, you know and knocking off someone's head and watching a bunch of blood comically squirt out Like that's what made that fun what it really was Yes, but like as a kid like that was the goriest games had gotten at that time So it was like for somebody was kind of traumatic. It was like, oh my god. I've never seen gore That he pulled out his spine You know and so then you you want more of that in the movie you want more like I want fucking like pixel string Oh, no I want like fucking razor blades near people's areola or not areola right there in their fucking eyes Shut up Because I think the the hat buzzword thing that took everyone off god, we were just like, oh my god The entire movie you look for saw blade hats Why did you want a popcorn action movie? You know, you just want fucking shit to go. Oh my god. That was awesome I don't know why they didn't feel because that's the thing back I'm wildly like you want to show your friends all the fatalities because that's just like look at this fucking shit Yeah, so if there is a second movie lean into the camp you pussies They get rid of that that cold kid, dude, you know that he's gonna ruin the second one too He's got to go. They can't do it. He needs to be killed. This is a success. It's not his success Dude, they have to they have to kill him like in the first quarter of the movie and there I just like well just chop his head off. It's right there. It's vulnerable in the first 60 Our our master assassin had him totally by surprise and she scrapes his armor with it So we need to have a movies need to have like a conversation about how knives work You don't slash with knives That's dumb and it's stupid and it don't work. You stab with knives movies You stab with knives knives are for stabbing. What if I want to slash with them though? Then you're dumb Oh, man Yeah, I wouldn't even give him that much respect that you guys are suggesting I would just be like some random character halfway through maybe a fat comic relief type is like what happens to that guy He died. I need to move on He died because he got anal cancer anal cancer He got asked when trashed on the way you were to Steve Johnny Cage Spaces Or as they call it how do they get their who knows? That's not important the action happened. It was great. What happened to Cole. Oh, we don't talk about that Who we just don't talk and then they just move on. All right, then. Uh, yeah We need a newer more bloody mortal combat movies and I'll be very happy. Just make it to make it so much bloodier Let's go ham. You'll be great 2022 or three or four where they make a whole bunch more school. Let's see. Yeah, it was fun. I enjoyed both of the movies I enjoyed them both as well But I think the I think Mahler summed it up well The second one made me more upset because I cared right you wanted to see it like really hit its full potential Yeah, big time like you could have been great, but you weren't and so I'm more disappointed in you. They had more to work with I'm very disappointed. You could have I loved sub zero. I thought he was dope They really did a lot of impressive shit with the fucking ice visuals like at times For me, I mean not not that I'm any like 3d model or expert or anything like that But as a layman looking at it with my fucking untrained eye It looked like genuinely like frosts and it made the fucking jacks's arms bleeding and then getting cut off like really brutal So I enjoyed that part a lot. That's very good. Yeah, really good. The the the smoke the black smoke portal Yeah, that looked great. Look um the face of what's her name? Molina. Yeah, her weird moan open. Yeah, her face. That looked really cool when her mouth opened up like that Milan her when her face Also, is it it feels weird that you would have the background of cabal and um Luke kano kano. That's it. This is a lot of names Um, and they don't like they don't have a fight at the end or something Like they build up that they know each other and they just use it to yeah, you're right Evil, but they don't do anything with it and it's like, oh, okay Yeah, he's the guy who put me in this suit and then he just okay come on over and be my friend now So I thought they were gonna do something with it Do you think it would have been more interesting to kind of see them like sparring before actual lives or at stake where it's like You get to see this character fight this character and then they kind of call it off before they die Just to kind of see how they would match up and then at the end It's like now that we've seen everyone's power and now we'll decide like who murders everyone else That could work just to give everyone what they want. It's like, here's your favorite character Let's see how cool he is in this fight, you know just weird like adaptation wise Like there's so much stuff that would make more sense if you had played the games But at the same time like they do in random shit that they want to do on their own Yeah, I guess it's like the more you care about the original like ip the more you're like, where did that come from? Well, yeah, just that fucking armor better at the very least be something from the games because it's not plot armor You know, I assume like the sequel will will actually be the tournament itself, right? Yeah Right. Yeah, we'll go and they'll recruit things and then have the actual tournament If they just have people Gathering champions, which is what they're leading up to and it's just about even if they never get to it I don't really care. Yeah. I mean, we're really doing it. We just want to see the fights Yeah No, the tournament's just like a framing device for people fighting Yeah, the protagonist is and put it game shark codes and didn't got the Exactly and we have our evil emperor man and he wants to still do his plan isn't changed It's just he has to get new people to do it or the old people again So they they definitely have left the door open for the return of some characters with some Modifications who knows what happens when they go through the death portal I wonder if Goro will come back as the girl version of Goro like he's he's gonna be trans now Goro Some of the more combat does which the movies can easily do is just they just reset the timeline constantly bring everyone back Bring dark versions of everybody around that just that's just something that can happen And again, I don't give a shit about the story. Yeah, so we can get the head chopped off and then, you know, they're like I've I got surgery. Well, actually I have black magic powers from the multi-nether world that will make them a Super skull warrior or something and yeah, and just like fuck it whatever And so we're really only in this for those zany characters with crazy powers fight in each other So she's like just own it. Okay. Just yeah at the end of the day That's really why people are buying tickets to see moral combat movies make it And hyper violence. Yeah Yeah, yes, because like it seemed like with cameras we can only seem to understand that like I also have a family I relate with this protagonist. He is great. That's probably most of the audience is just like I also have a family But like for real though, doesn't he sound like he's mandated when you think about it? Oh, you need to have a protagonist who has a family that he cares about. It's like, oh, fuck me Check mark They wanted to get funding But the producer said well, you gotta have you know x y z because that's It's gotta be asian or else we'll be accused of whitewashing. They'll be cancelled And they're like name him whatever the asian equivalent of john is the most like yeah, how about col young? Brilliant first name last name Everyone knows that col is the john of the asian community. Yeah all those col col wins col slaw So I don't know what when you said that that was really funny to me even though I like thought it already But then the moment you said it it just became instantly really Oh, no, he could be col sa and he could have like Yeah Fucking armor it just goes just shoots at people. Oh god. What was that? That's my ability. I'm col flaming col slaw Flaming cool We're already writing a better movie by the way. No, it's not too Oh, and the protagonist will be likable. Yeah. Oh that dude. What an upgrade. Um, the protagonist will just be the ozzy That's it. It's better. There you go. I'm amused in this universe You just have to want it enough and you get a power and you if you You're only with the only way that's possible is if you have the tattoo birthmark But that you can get by killing someone with it. You also get it I just like how he was like, oh, I'm gonna get powers too, right? And then he gets a laser beam. He's just like, fuck you I win Probably something most people would do in any way efficiently for the entire movie. It's just an involuntary like premature ejaculation thing Where he's just like you hit me. Yeah, he just fucking happens. He's like, oh god. I'm so embarrassed You know, I mean the way that he's written it comes across as they're aware of what they're doing But that the way the generic protagonist man is written. It's like, oh, they're completely unaware of what they're doing Just like is there a common thread here? Hmm. I'll just be in the second one I do not care how you bring him back. Just put him in the second one Yeah, make it happen. They they have left the door open for him coming back But may I just may I just make my final concluding thought and say that even if it's a shitty moral combat movie It's still very good fun with friends, especially with little alcohol. Definitely worth a try Welcome a hold one of those. Oh, are you gonna watch this with friends of yours later? Yeah If my friends you mean my my anime body pillow You're Daki Makura My Daki Makura My Daki Makura My Daki Mortal Kombat together My Ramune and my Paki That was really fun. I enjoyed it. That was a very good time for you I enjoyed both of those Yeah, it's rare 1991, 2021, 1995, 21, yeah, that's that's what it was. All right When are you gonna pay me for this? When did you get the payment gonna clear for my experience? Well, much like your um, what's it called? Your much like your chi or what what are the powers called your aurora in anime? No arcana. Yeah, much like your arcana Your your payment was inside you the whole time. You just had to I'm so blessed very deep. Thank you. That's pretty cool. Today has been a beautiful day Oh, don't thank me. It was all you the power was inside the whole time That was good. That was really fun. I enjoyed it. Well, good good times. Say goodbye everybody. Goodbye Check out Mortal Kombat Nihilation Find the truth in you memes It's the ultimate catalyst But you bring me again But you bring me, but you bring me, but you bring me again But you bring me, but you bring me again But you bring the white tear out your spine Again