 Hello, Psych2goers! Welcome back! Have you ever caught yourself saying something manipulative to someone to get what you want? Sometimes you might not realize that some of the things you say and do are manipulative. Instead, you may notice friends going distant and relationships being at risk. So, if you've been questioning your own actions lately, here are six signs you're manipulative without realizing it. Number one, you're kind of a know-it-all. Do you often feel that people should follow you because you're the one that knows best? Or perhaps you have this constant urge to put yourself first in every circumstance? As a result, this tendency may make other people see you as selfish and a know-it-all, which may cause them to turn away and avoid spending time with you. For this reason, it's good to look at how you treat people. You may not be aware of this behavior as it may have developed unconsciously. For instance, having the upper hand may be your way to mask your insecurities. Or you may be unconsciously imitating the behavior of your strict parents, who made you obey their every demand growing up. So, take time off and focus on yourself. When you become more confident in yourself, you may find that you will no longer need to outshine everyone all the time. Number two, you shower someone with affection, then pull back if they do something wrong. Have you avoided someone after an argument to prove that you don't need them? Is it your way to tell them that they should be the one to go to you first if they want to make up? This is a push-and-pull type of behavior where you make someone feel happy when they're doing something right, but then pull back to punish them when they do something wrong. You might do this because it can give you a sense of control over others, but this tactic is toxic and manipulative and can seriously harm someone's mental health. Number three, you're very adamant about getting what you want. Do you go to extreme lengths to get what you want? Let's say you want candy, but others want chocolate. So what do you do? Someone who is manipulative may decide to throw out all the chocolates so nobody gets a choice. In the same sense, a constant urge to be in control may cause you to do just about anything, including lying, guilt-tripping, and blaming get what you want. But whenever you catch yourself thinking of doing any of this, it may be helpful to just stop. Breathe and take a step back. Give yourself some time to think. These moments of self-awareness and reflection can age you in moving forward. After all, changing your habits may not be easy, but it is doable, and you're more than capable of achieving it. Number four, jealousy makes you do problematic things. How do you respond to jealousy? If you saw some friends hanging out without you, would you feel offended and purposefully go out with someone else to take heaps of photos just to flaunt them on social media for them to see? Manipulative people have issues with jealousy. When you feel like you're not on top of a situation, you can create another one that you can control, even if it's at the expense of your own relationships. In moments like these, it may help to give yourself some time and space to come to terms with the fact that not everything other people do is related to you. Know your own self-worth first so you won't feel threatened when others don't. Number five, you never say what you want outright. Do you find yourself guilt-tripping others into doing you favors? According to Barham, manipulation can arise from an inability, or at least a reluctance to simply say what it is you're feeling or needing. This behavior may come from underlying anxiety, insecurity, or a strict childhood upbringing. Strict parents who don't let their children open up may bring up people who avoid confrontation completely. In this case, you might find it helpful to contact a therapist to talk to you and address your problems. Take it step by step. You can handle this. And number six, you use relationships as bait. Have you ever said to someone that they should do something for you if they really loved and cared about you? If so, then you're using your own relationships as bait to get something you want. Whenever you do this, you're basically saying that if they don't do what you want, then you'll break things off with them. This is a deeply hurtful and unkind thing to do, especially to the people who you love. As mentioned earlier, it is highly possible that you are not aware that you're even doing these things. That's why it's good to have a keen sense of awareness about your own actions. Respect others and find ways to build your self-esteem. Remember that all of this is part of your journey, growth. So, did you relate to one or more of these points? Let us know in the comments below. If you found this video helpful, be sure to like, subscribe, and share this video with those who might benefit from it. And don't forget to hit the notification bell icon to get notified whenever Psych2Go posts a new video. As always, the references and studies used in this video are added in the description below. Thanks for watching, and we'll see you in our next video.