 Grotowski and I found ourselves sitting opposite each other in the middle of this whole thing, and we threw the teddy bear back and forth. Yeah, on one level you could say this is childish. And I gave the teddy bear suck suddenly at my breast, and then I threw the teddy bear to him, and he gave it suck at his breast, and then the teddy bear was thrown up into the air again, in which there was another explosion of form into something. And these, what was it like? You know, there's something like a kaleidoscope, like a human kaleidoscope. The evening was made up of shiftings with a kaleidoscope. Claire, the ladybug. Where, on my head? It's on your shoulder now, did you see it? I thought it, I thought it left. Oh my gosh, it's right here! Where, where? Hey! My ladybug friend is still in here. That is the cutest thing ever! Yeah, we're friends, we'll never part. Did you not notice? No, it was crawling up at this. No, I can't hold you because they're ugly. Hold my leg! I picked up a ladybug earlier today at a, outside? It was at an outside, I think. Are they still here? Lady B, we call her. No, wait, did you, wait, no, you did, did you name her? Lady B. Earlier? Lady B! You don't normally hold me like, I normally... Well, you hold me, but now we can't, you can't hold me because... It's fine, you're not gonna grab my shoulder. I don't know. It's fine. Is this, is this even a ladybug? It's a ladybug, it's a yellow one, so maybe it's an old ladybug that's not red anymore, or maybe it's a young ladybug that has yet to be red. What if it's a spied ladybug? Couldn't be a spied ladybug, but I don't believe so. I believe that this is a genuine ladybug. Lady B wouldn't be a spy. The lady B in the house, cracking some bars. Cracking some bars? I don't know how you put bars together. No, I think you lay bars. Drop bars, or drop beats? Probably drop bars, no, yeah, you drop beats and you drop discs, but I don't know if you drop bars. In view bars? Okay, all right. In view bars. All right, if you're attached now, I don't wanna just kick her out. Well, what's gonna happen? We're gonna sleep with a ladybug, and it looks like it's scarier. Those eyes are huge. What are you talking about? Do their eyes get bigger? Ah! So scary now, all of a sudden. It's eyes were not like that and that's freaking me out. It's eyes. It turned from cute to double. It was probably feeling threatened. Incarnate. That is so freaky. I didn't know. Let me get rid of it, all right. You're not gonna be able to focus. I missed it. It was probably like, oh. All right. I'm tired. Oh my gosh. What is that? I mean, who is it? No way. We are not in our uniform. No. If you haven't noticed. We have a uniform. Yeah. We just didn't plan on reporting. Well, welcome back to Life Lessons and Films. Today we're gonna be making sense of life through My Dinner with Andre. So there is so much stuff in this movie. But yeah, we were watching My Dinner with Andre and you haven't seen it. It's about a two hour movie of the whole time they're having a very in-depth, deep, intense, trying to think of other words to profound, the profundity of this conversation is off the charts. It's a lot to take in. But that's why we thought, let's just do it even before we finish the movie. Because it's just so much. We were starting to have a conversation. We were having a conversation. And we were like, oh, why don't we just film this? Even though I'm exhausted out of my mind. I am exhausted. I felt like I could do it. But now I feel like a car. Right? Let's go. What are we talking about? Yeah. So I mean, really the synopsis is we got Wally and Andre, the two characters in the entire movie. And they both work in the theater and Wally was asked kind of out of nowhere to have dinner with Andre, who he hadn't seen for a couple of years and he was kind of avoiding just because Andre kind of fell off the map and there were rumors of him doing all kinds of crazy things. So Wally was kind of like, I could just go home and have a nice evening, nice quiet evening with my girlfriend. But instead I decided to have this dinner with this guy that I don't know what's gonna happen. What we're gonna talk about. I haven't seen him in a long time. I've heard he has had issues. Yeah, he's got a lot of issues and a lot of rough times. So I don't know why I'm doing this and it's gonna be, I don't know. The reason I was meeting Andre was that an acquaintance of mine, George Grassfield, had called me and just insisted that I had to see him. Apparently George had been walking his dog in an odd section of town the night before and he'd suddenly come upon Andre leaning against a crumbling old building and sobbing. And then they get into it and at first he's very quiet, the first half of the movie, he's just asking questions now and then because Andre is just going from one topic to the next telling about all his travels and all the crises, existential crises and everything he's going through all the self-doubt and all the experiences and all the things that he's reflected on and noticed and experienced. So yeah, and that's it. They have the dinner. We haven't even finished it yet. No, we haven't even finished it. It is a very long movie. Is it because I felt like I have never in my life related to a movie as much as I relate to this because the way that they're interacting with each other is the way, is my dream. That the world could interact this way all the time. But all interact with each other in that way. The things that they discuss about people, about life in general, about themselves, it's stuff that I like to talk about. I like the openness between them. It's something that seems to be quite rare, or at least it has seemed to be rare. When we met, obviously. We kind of had my dinner with Andre conversation. Exactly. That's what we met. Yeah, the first day we met, we had like a literal my dinner with Andre conversation and it was like, oh. Yeah. They're people? Yeah. Masks came off. They're people like this. You know? I think, I mean this movie I think could be enjoyable for a lot of people, but I think it really hits home for people to find themselves where they struggle to have. At one point, basically we kind of stopped around the midpoint when they talk about, nowadays it just seems like it's so hard to, when interacting, going to parties, everyone is so indirect and then telling jokes instead of opening up and sharing and actually letting their guard down and being vulnerable and having taken their persona, their public mask off in front of people. And then so you're just wind up just kind of being confused because you're trying to interact and then connect and be around people, but nothing's really happening, right? Yeah. That's kind of the part that they've talked about where we kind of stopped it. And that is something that they kind of is throughout the movie. It's one of the big things. It's just kind of reconnecting with essential things like our human nature or the connecting with other people on a very basic fundamental level, you know? You see, this is the thing, right? Yeah. Like it's very hard to explain this. I realized this is the reason I really love this movie because we have these kinds of conversations all the time. Since meeting, we realized you can explain to people what you need, what kind of person you are. You know, as we're talking about this movie and how much we identify with it. And as we're talking about the fact of things that they bring up, like people having masks, what does that even mean? We feel that way. These people in the movie feel that people have a mask but some people don't feel like that. And in the past out to say there's no way, there's no way that you don't realize that you have a mask. But who am I to say that? You know what I mean? Maybe there are people who are perfectly satisfied with existing on a level that I feel is superficial and which I perceive to be them wearing a mask because I've had lots of experiences, lots of relationships. In fact, basically all of my relationships, everybody, my family, friends, you name it have always said I'm too emotional or you're just like too intense or you're too deep. Like all the conversations are always is like super just like unpacking life, you know? Tears and that's fine. I have no, I love that. I love connecting with people to the point where we're both crying. And I've found that sometimes when people say that I wondered, am I supposed to dial it down? Because I don't know how to dial it down to the point where people won't assess me as being too intense. I spend years trying to figure out how to tone myself down until I realize that I really don't want to do that. I am realizing, you know, like I don't want to force anyone to be like me. If I find that someone isn't able to connect with me in a way that I'm fulfilled by and in a way that they aren't fulfilled by, I think it's okay to say that we're just not. Different compatibilities. We're not compatible and it's okay to leave. I think that's where people get to where they realize they get to a certain point. They're like I need to be around my tribe. And that I think for a lot of people means people that exactly. It's enjoyable for both people. Like our brains work the same. This is good. This is a good arrangement. People could look at how we basically from dawn to dusk, our brains are going crazy and then trying to figure things out or analyze or whatever. And that's not always the most practical or the most useful. And some people are like, you know what? Life could maybe be a little easier, more enjoyable if you just kind of go with it. You just, you know, like you operate on a different frequency. It's not necessarily a better or worse frequency. It's just a different frequency. And some jobs like, you know, it's part of I think growing up too is realizing that the world might, probably wouldn't be better if everyone was like you. No matter how you are, it's good that you have different kinds of people. Nothing would ever get done. Cause you'd be waking up and you'd just be like, is the sky really blue? Yeah. That's stupid like. Yeah. By the time you've figured that out and realized that you've gotten nowhere, people still haven't, there's no food for, there's no things being fixed or constructed. People are killing themselves. People don't know what time it is. People still trying to figure out why are ladybloods gendered? Exactly. Sometimes I'll start a conversation about something and then I'm just kind of like rearing off into, and I don't even remember. What was I talking about? What is it? And I'll ask you. Yeah. I'll be like, I don't know, but I was going with it. It's okay, let's just go. Let's go with it. This is where we're riding down the. Like right now, we're totally, you know. Yeah. Given our experiences, we have felt that there aren't a lot of people like us. But then again, maybe someone who is the exact opposite feels the same way. Because we never know how people are feeling. It actually really drains me to try and be what I think people who are on the opposite end of the spectrum are, where you're not really like connecting on the level that other people perceive to be intense and overly emotional. That drains me the same way that people are drained by how I am. By me forcing them as far as they're concerned to tap into emotions that they would prefer not to. And that's draining for them. But that's great for me. I have lots more energy when I've spent hours with someone when we're connecting on that level, when there's tears. Yeah. When there are tears and hugging and embracing, opening up, I come home and I'm like, you know. Yeah. Jasmine. Do you like to talk to me? Why do you want to talk to me? Well, you read. You had things to say. I don't know, but I come out with a ton. That's okay. That's what we're doing. You have drained me in. At one point during the movie, it talks about how things like with technology, doesn't test trust technology and how it kind of keeps us in this dream world because things are too comfortable when I'm looking around and there are five screens all facing us right now. Oh my God. We have four, we have three laptops open, one computer and then the TV. Sometimes it hits you. You're like, yeah, we do have a lot of technology around us all the time, don't we? Like at one point in the movie, he's talking about how other cultures would probably find, say, I guess, like a lot of how North Americans or he's talking about people in New York or interacting where it's mostly just, there's no connecting. There's just talking about people's career. You know, what are you doing for your career? Because if you're only worrying about your career, you can kind of go on autopilot. You don't really have to think about all the, let the self-doubt creep in about like, is this actually what I should be doing with my life? Is this, what I want to do is make it happy? What do I actually want to do? And like, what do I care about, you know? People just worry about talking about what they're doing for work. And then they just make a lot of inane jokes and everything and they don't really talk about anything and they just laugh instead of mourn when someone passed away or something serious happens. People would rather just indirectly deal with, they don't know how to deal with their emotions. So they just laugh it off, for example, and how other people would find that just weird and unhealthy and crazy. And then he starts to do these, these kind of mimic these laughs and then the waiter behind them is kind of like, what's going on, right? If four Tibetans came together and tragedy had just struck one of the ones and they spent the whole evening going, ha, ha, ha, ha, he, he, he. Right? No. Tibetans would have looked at that. I thought that was the most unimaginable behavior. Because he talks about this one point where it's like, it's not necessarily that these two having this deep conversation are better than the waiter, say, right? Oh, this waiter probably doesn't get what the essence of the intellect and the genius that we're discussing right now, he lives life differently. And he talks, and when he talks about it, one point where he compares, he thinks it's messed up that when he goes into his apartment, The doorman greets him, Mr., I forget his last name, Mr. Gregory or something in the movie, and he calls him Jimmy, right? He's like, I'm treating him like a kid, because I use his first name, and kind of like a kiddish version of James, and then he calls me Mr., right? And it's like, it's kind of, he at least compares it to plantation owners, where it's like, you know, it's treating people as inferior to you, but even just using how they greet you and you greet them, right? And he's saying, here's a guy my age, intelligent guy, good person, and yet I'm treating him like this way, and then he's treating me superior, I'm treating him inferior, and we're doing this, and just simply because I live in this building, and he works at this building. That's where I think a lot of times, when it comes to unconscious complexes, or unconscious, you know, if you're already complex, or unconscious biases, or unconscious, you know, they talk again about like, how we're all walking around like zombies, and everyone's so unconscious, where this is even before cell phones and everything, when people are using some like, this has been around for a while, people think only now are people enslaved. No, no, this has been something that we've been able to discuss for a long time. What was it back in the day? Because he's talking about like electric blankets. Yeah, yeah. At that time, like we're talking about tech play. Like we're so disconnected from the natural world. Like laptops. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Because of an electric blanket, we're so disconnected from the natural world. Yeah, I see his point, and like, you know, he talks about it, he's like, I like being cold, you know? It's good, it's feeling something. Isn't it kind of weird that we're animals, yet we never allow ourselves to feel uncomfortable temperatures, or uncomfortable smells, or uncomfortable sights, or anything, you know? Yeah. It's so sanitized. I like the cold, my God. I never realized. I don't want a blanket, it's fun being cold. I can snuggle up against you even more because it's cold. All sorts of things occur to you. Turn on that electric blanket, and it's like taking a tranquilizer. It's like being lobotomized by watching television. These comforts that we love and appreciate so much because of human evolution, how we've progressed, right? Is that for him, it kind of like lobotomizes you. They talk a lot about being in a dream reality, right? So you're kind of like, you're not really here. I understand that, right? Like, so this whole electric blanket discussion, the guy's like, well, you know, I like being comfortable, New York is cold. I quite like the electric blanket because New York is cold. Yeah, and life is hard. And life is hard. There's so many hard things. And so yeah, some comforts I really appreciate because life isn't saying can be quite abrasive. And he's like, yeah, it's true. I completely understand that I like those comforts too. However, the truth is, it does take away from living naturally. He's talking about how as one theater producer or theater director, Gorbowski or whatever, he's talking about how he, his friend quit, you know, working in the theater because he just felt like everyone's acting and performing all the time now in their normal lives. Anyway, that it makes theater kind of superfluous and then just like, you know, when he's at a scene, you know, it's just, it's too much. It's not necessary because everyone's performing all the time now. With all of these comforts that we do gain, you know, gain, right? Things become much more artificial, I guess. You can do everything from the safety of your couch. You can order food, you can order anything. You can start dating people, never often leave your couch. You can, you know, you can do everything basically you can work from your couch. You can never have to leave your living room. Exactly, electric blanket thing. He's like, well, you know, firstly, if you didn't have an electric blanket, you would be aware of the elements. And then secondly, you'd realize, okay, it's super cold. I'm cold. Oh my God, what do I do? Let's forget like piles and piles of blankets and whatever. And then you start thinking, oh man, is my partner okay, honey? Are you okay? Are you warm? Yeah. You know, just like that extra- It takes you out of yourself even to people you care about and then to even people you don't even know. He says, what about people that are outside that don't have a place to live? They must be even more cold. Yeah, like you start thinking about, oh my God, there are homeless people who are out there right now. I at least have this blanket that I have my own place, but that person is outside. Those things, he says, you wouldn't really think about with those comforts, right? Because those comforts kind of like take you into that dream world where you don't really think about it. He even talks about food too, right? Like eating so much where he makes an example of like the Tibetan monks. It takes two hours to eat with them and you like, you have to chew everything and you know, taste really, basically what we now call mindful eating. You're there for two hours and you really can sense them. Yeah, I'm full now, but here you're just scoffing it down. You don't even taste it. Yeah, you don't taste it. You don't even taste it. You're just eating to eat, piles and piles of food. And you're removed from the nourishment that what this is supposed to serve, treating food more like what it's supposed to be versus just another thing that removes you from reality that keeps you into the in the day drink. Wally's character actually starts to open up more. I think he's really lets his guard down as he gets more comfortable with Andres. Andres being just so raw and open and from the get go basically, just boom, laying it all out, you know, which is a hard thing to do, especially to someone you don't even know for years, but I think he's gone through so many experiences lately that have just uncracked him or cracked him. Yeah, he's like, I can't even hold back. I can't pull him, I can't close up again. Yeah, I'm just, you know. There's, it's kind of like the matrix deal, right? You can't go back. That movie's great, cause that can relate to anything. It can relate to anything. I'm relating it in this way by, you know, how the movie is like, well, once you see certain things, once you experience certain things, going back to what you, how you lived before. It feels like a fantasy, feels like an illusion. Yeah, when he talks about some girl who was associated with the Kennedys died and we were just talking about that, this death, it was awful, but we were laughing about it, you know? And because we just cannot bring ourselves to deal with difficult emotions, people don't want to deal with difficult emotions. And if ever difficult things come up, then we have to kind of pacify them with a joke, you know? When you are someone like Andres, kind of like accumulated so much life experience and it's changed you so much that you can't, if you are literally incapable of playing the roles anymore that we are supposed to play when we are around people, even people that we love, you know, even with family, like I think a lot of us find ourselves playing roles and where sometimes if your family doesn't even know you. And Andre, he's so raw and so honest with himself now and doing so much like going through all these experiences really challenging who he is to the core, that's when he's able to say like, honestly, I'm kind of sick in myself and I also feel like I haven't done anything with myself, my life and everything. And while he's like, how could you say that? You've done all these amazing experiences, very successful career, all this kind of stuff, your family, you've got a lot of connections and friends that will hook you up and you do all these things with all these people. And he's like, but really I just feel like, like I compare myself to like a creep or like it was like the Nazi architect, work for Hitler, you know, like he's like, I've got, because he's, I mean, you know, maybe, you know, maybe he's being too hard on himself, but he's also just so honest with himself that he's willing to accept like, that I think a lot of people, if they're honest with themselves would feel like, how much have I really achieved in life? Does any of it matter or mean anything or what has it done in the greater scheme of things? Or who am I? Have I changed or grown at all at all really? Or, you know, am I the same person or, you know? I think the willingness to constructively criticize yourself, I think is something that we both appreciate a lot and we try to practice personally. The reason why this conversation is so good in this movie is because it has the ingredients that you need to have a conversation that can go this deep, which is at least one person being willing to just lay it all out there and be willing to admit being foolish, ignorant, immoral, unkind, superficial, selfish, spoiled, out of touch. You have these things and then that allows for a lot more honest reflection, right? But so many people just don't really wanna think, they might be willing to kind of admit a little bit of wrongdoing or mistakes here and there, but they really don't wanna dig too, too deep and he's digging to the core, you know? And then that allows other people around them to feel more comfortable to do the same also. But so many conversations either don't really have the time to get that far, to take time to dig that deep or they don't have the, you know. There isn't that kind of reciprocity because maybe the people are different. Yeah, different people that don't find that kind of stuff engaging or interesting or it's too much or. He speaks about, he brings up different people who are in the same kind of, who move in the same circles and he talks about how he would look at them and judge them, you know? And then he would then look at them and realize, well, hold on, hold on. I exactly like those people. You know what I mean? Because when you think about it, this guy has been traveling around like crazy. India, Poland, I think the Ireland or something like that. Just different countries all the time. Tibet, he's spending time in the desert, gets this famous playwright or someone in the, who's some famous guy to get him a group of people to go spend like time in the forest and he finds a forest for them. Food to eat in that forest and a specific type of people. I mean, that is a level of privilege that not a lot of people have access to. And this is something that where he's kind of like the willingness to reflect on himself openly. This is something that I like because it brings him to the reality that, you know what, I'm actually, I have a lot of privilege, you know what I mean? And so then, am I really a good person? Are these things that I actually did even meaningful? Because, I mean, when do they become meaningful? If I, you know what I mean? The people I'm judging that seems so in illusion and don't realize they're privileged, maybe they're thinking the same thing about me. And they're seeing me like going off and doing all these travels and finding myself. And really they think, well, what a pompous, spoiled, privileged, layabout, useless, you know, you're not even doing anything anymore. You're just going around finding yourself. Whatever that means. You know, maybe they're thinking the same thing about him. Not a freaking family. Yeah. And you're busy traveling around. You make a scary flag that ruins your going away party that your wife put on for you and then you go travel. You know? Like, what are you doing? You're being a very unhealthy, kind of, not a very, yeah, kind person to probably his family or people that rely on him. Yeah, I mean, he has kids. Goes off and does things. Yeah, like he literally has kids. And he's coming back. He even says, you know, honestly, really retabberg on me. And I'm thinking, how about the kids, you know what I mean? How about the wife? But these are things that he thinks about. And I like that. And he opens up to this guy about these very things and why he's feeling kind of like a failure. And I really like that because I think it's so hard for us to look at ourselves and criticize the things that we have done or things, failures are failures or things that we don't feel proud to have done, which there are so many of those things I know for me. We all have those. Yeah, we all have those things. But I think it's really tough to unpack those things, even individually, you know, in the privacy of our own heads. Some of these things you just prefer not to talk about, but like it is such an important part of your life. I think people who are willing to just take accountability for their flaws and the mistakes they made and the possibility that they are just as vile as the person that they could perceive to be vile, people who are willing to actually look at that and be open to looking at themselves through that kind of negative lens that they may be viewing other people. I think those people are the ones that are really, that might actually grow from it. Yeah, that will grow from it and become better, you know? Like obviously being human and being human is insanely difficult and what is better anyway, but like as long as you're moving forward, I think, and moving forward is that just kind of like constantly reflecting on yourself and how you are as a person and owning up to the fact that, you know, you're not better than the next person. I was just thinking about, obviously I thought about myself, how I kind of used to be in the past. I think there's this time in your life when you, because you are the way that you are, you have either this assumption that people will be like you too. You know, if I'm like this, therefore everybody is like that because we're all human. Or then, and if you meet someone who isn't like you, you think, well, what's wrong with this person? You know what I mean? At this moment. Instead of what's right with them and what's wrong with me. Yeah, and instead of, well, people are different and that's okay. And I think the thing you were saying before, I love that because, you know, Andre's out here, he's already gone through all of these experiences and he's just, he cannot be anything but vulnerable and open. And so he's sharing everything. But then the other guy, Wally. Yeah, Wally is for, you know, like an hour in, he's just asking questions the whole time. He doesn't want to share too much. And I think that's okay. Like I think it's not easy to, even with your closest friends. You know what I mean? Because even he says it, Wally, he's like, you know, sometimes you just wish that people could share things that they're challenges that they're going through. Because then sometimes you realize that you're not alone in the hell that you may be living in. Maybe other people are living that same hell and it will give you some comfort to know that at least I'm not alone. And it will give you comfort to know that you can turn to someone who will understand exactly what it is you're going through and give you the support that speaks to that reality because they've personally experienced it. But we are not vulnerable enough to allow ourselves to get to that point. And so then you are all, we're all here living alone, you know, privately in pain, privately suffering and then presenting ourselves as perfectly okay to people that we should be seeking support from. So anyway, you're tired now? So this is some stuff that we thought about dinner with Andre and a lot of stuff that just reminded us of better own lives. Yeah, we're still watching it. We're still watching it, which is why, again, no uniform. No uniform. You know, that's a lot to munch on. So let us know what you guys think about what we had to share here. If you've seen the movie, what you got from it as well. Share your thoughts on our thoughts down below or share your thoughts on anything. Yeah. She's so tired, can't even do her lines. I mean, well, you know, I was just thinking right now people aren't really commenting and I get it cause we're new and we don't really have a lot of subscribers and we're not really expecting to get like old people in the comments and getting clapped in a way. If ever we get to a point where people are commenting I really would like to know what kind of person you are, person watching. Like, would you, do you see yourself in Dinner with Andre? Please comment down below and share your thoughts on our thoughts and your thoughts on the movie. Yeah, but that's it. Till next time though. Thanks for watching. Thank you. See you later. Bye. It's a wrap.