 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan as they have Jonathan as they comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today We're gonna talk about texting and the telephone but really quickly if you're new to my channel Please do me a favor hit the subscribe button wherever it's at and if you have something to say Please post a comment below. I want to hear your thoughts about this video and anything else that you may have in mind Okay, let's talk about texting versus the telephone because I know or at least as a dating and relationship coach for women Oftentimes I hear one of the most frustrating things Over and over and over again is in the early stages of dating or even in a seasoned relationship How oftentimes men choose to use that the the smart phone The smart phone for communicating via text messaging versus getting on a telephone And I know for many of you and tell me if I'm wrong You'd like to hear a man's voice. You want to be able to connect at an auditory level instead of the thumb level And I want to go into a couple of reasons why this occurs before we shift on how to turn this around So I want you to think about this in the beginning stages of dating Most the time these days were meeting total strangers and what I mean to say is it used to be when we lived in Tribes whoever we mated with with someone we knew when we lived in a small town There was a chance as you knew the person or you knew their family Certainly if you met someone in a work environment, you knew who they were and now we've evolved to a situation Where most of the time we're not meeting people organically We're meeting people through an online connection not always but a significant number of time in fact from an antedotal perspective I've noticed almost 50 wait 50 percent of all new relationships is happening through an online connection And so the reality is is when we're meeting someone from an online perspective, they are a total stranger to us We know so little and whether there is a couple scribbles on their profile or there's an essay written that we we don't trust That's who they are yet And so there's this kind of miss by the way, I just noticed that this picture was off I want to fix that Fill down Where was I okay now I'm sorry for being disconnected here and I should edit this But I'm just going to go raw like this So when it comes to connecting with someone who's a total stranger and we don't feel familiar with them We don't feel comfortable. We don't feel like we know them yet It's hard sometimes to express how we're feeling through words and it's safer to communicate via text messaging in the beginning to exchange some thoughts some ideas because it allows us time to process It allows us time to feel Here what the other person says we and and also it just might be that you know There's another reason we might be busy doing other things and we can communicate through this medium much easier But I think the primary reason why people for lack of a better word hide behind the smartphone is because they don't feel safe yet and I say safe or they don't really feel familiar with you yet So there's I think we set ourselves up when we have these Expectations too high in the beginning stages now certainly in a seasoned relationship There might be a different reason why a man might choose texting over telephone And I can say that in many cases if it's centered around if their Professional life is on the telephone all day long it becomes so much of an emotional Burden to be on the phone later in the day even if you genuinely care about your partner if you truly care about your partner It still might be emotionally draining to get on the phone and sometimes it's just easier to communicate via text messaging Now let me just say this. I'm not a big. I'm not encouraging texting for serious Conversations or anything that requires some depth. I'm talking about those quick little check-ins to say hi But if you want to get your guy to shift Especially in the early stages in that brand new stages of dating to shift from text to telephone call Then there is one simple way to make that happen. I'm going to talk about that in a second First just recognize I just want to step in and say hey look most men are good guys They're just bad daters and I think hollywood and disney has set us up men for failure Because we're the knight in shining armor and we're chivalrous and we know what we want and we know what we're doing And I can tell you that's the furthest thing from the truth as we age our emotional I'm going to call it luggage not baggage our emotional luggage starts to set in And for many men as well as women they haven't navigated their emotional luggage in such a way that they're free from the weight of this emotional luggage And what i'm talking about is childhood wounds and traumas that might cause us to not be fully articulate with our own feelings and desires Because we just haven't learned it And I just want you to lean in and recognize that most men are good guys. They're just bad at the process So let's have compassion for both sexes men should have compassion for women and I'm encouraging you to have compassion for men Because there's really this one simple thing you can do to get a guide to start calling you And that's simply ask Ask him to call you simply say hey, I really appreciate text messaging But I would prefer a telephone call And express what you want You know, it's interesting how often That seems to be ignored or forgotten that you can ask for what you want I mean simply asking doesn't necessarily mean they're going to say no or yes It's just a request So my invitation for you if you want to shift from a texting relationship to a telephone relationship Then just ask for it Now it might mean that you might communicate less But you might have more richer communication more quality communication if that's what you're seeking And I can't guarantee that but what can I what I can say is when you make a request for what you want You actually determine whether or not they're really ready to invest in you But please be careful because in the early stages of dating as I said before we're total strangers with one another And that hollywood disney fantasy that men are going to charge in Is not a reality because we don't know you yet It takes time to get to know another human being in fact It takes of one person I heard said it takes a hundred hours of face to face time Face to face time to really get to know another human being so just recognize that it takes time to feel familiar And safe and the more familiar and safe we feel whether man or woman The more likely we're going to want to engage in more telephone calls than just the safer way of text messaging Ah Okay, I'm sure you have you have something to say I want to hear about it Please post a comment below if this resonated with you if you've got something you want to add or something I miss please post it. I want to hear about it And if you'd like to learn more about what I do I've got a free gift called the five qualities a man seeks in the soul made I highly check recommend you check it out and check out my book. What the heck is self love? Anyway, where is it somewhere here? What the heck is self love anyway? My book and that's the back cover which you can see right there as well All right, I'm gonna sign off this video as I always do giving you a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug if I have your consent Uh, thank you Wishing you a wonderful day. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye now