 normally do, but you're trying to kind of sugarcoat it by saying, but it can't be manipulation and it can't be threatening to leave. And so that's my suggestion is that you have open and honest communication with him and talk to him about what's going on with him and see what he wants to do about it and see when he's going to be ready to do that. And if you're in a relationship with him and you're giving him all of his needs, you're fulfilling all of his needs by being with him in that way, there's a very good chance that he's not going to do that. That's one of the reasons why a lot of women end up just leaving guys because what they end up finding is that as long as they are giving him everything that he needs, he doesn't have any real motivation to do anything to heal himself or fix himself, which is why it's a bad idea to do the nursing a baby bird to health type of scenario, which it sounds like you're you are in right now, Tori. So that's that's what that sounds like, okay. So Rebecca says, never be anybody's number two. Claire says he needs to leave the relationship and heal before moving on. Yep. Karen says gross. What worse kind of dude? He's a gross cheating liar. Yeah. I mean, he's cheating. I mean, I don't, you know, he's got a girlfriend. You said that they're broken up, but they're still living together. Seems unlikely. And that he's cheating. I mean, I don't know that it's just a it's just a product. There's so it's so messy. That's just there is so messy. Sissy says, sorry, but for me, age isn't just a number, especially when the guy is a friend of your son and has personal personal issues, red flag, and he started sexual texts. She didn't value herself from the beginning. That's right. Sue says, hi, watching from Ormskirk. I don't never heard of Ormskirk. Chantel says, hi, he says all the right things and texts sometimes calls, but still no relationship. So let's see. Chantel says it's cruel men are cruel. I don't know. I mean, what's cruel about this scenario? I mean, you're both kind of using each other here. That's really what's going on. Shannon says, I refuse to have conversations through texting. I'm upfront in the beginning small chat. Okay. Yeah. I mean, texting is just bad. Like if you're trying to build a relationship over texting, there's so much confusion you're not really kind of getting to know each other for real. Sissy said, is that story for real? Yes. Yes. Yes, it is. The woman who sent me that story just is watching this right now. She says, how is this possible? This woman allowed him to use her because she needed attention. Yeah. Like I said, they both used each other. You know, you can sit here and kind of blame the guy. Like, you know, but he's in a weird situation as well as two people who are in kind of situations where they feel desperate and they feel like they need something and they're both using each other. That's really what's going on. And you can kind of look at men and be like, oh, well, he used her to hook up and kind of do this thing and whatever. But in reality, she created an image of what this dude isn't with her own mind. And she bought into this image that she created, which he wasn't projecting at all. He was projecting reality, which is massive red flags and, you know, this only being a very short one time thing. And then you're like, yeah. I mean, it's just not, it's just not a good idea. It's the whole thing was a bad was bad from the start. So that says kind of my situation right now. It hurts so bad, but is a right thing to walk away. Regina said, if he's a cheater, he's a cheater. That's right. Shannon said all about knowing who you are, loving yourself, only want the best for yourself, never settle for anything less. I'm, I'm love being me, myself and I good. Jack says, Jack Rabbit says, he says he doesn't want to be in a relationship, but wants an ongoing relationship with me with exclusive friend with benefits. He says he has strong feelings for me. Is that possible? Yeah, yeah, it's possible. If all you want is a friend with benefits situation, then you can be a guy can feel a lot for you and only want a friend with benefits situation. It's, it's one of the confusing things that a lot of women kind of throw out there because there's a lot of women out there. And what they think is if I'm in love, nothing else matters. And so they feel it for a guy and they just go, right? And they will be like, okay, well, you know, red flags all over the place says he just wants to be friend with benefits, but we're in love. So let's do it. And maybe I can convince him, maybe he'll, he'll want a real relationship to, to please me and, you know, for me because he's so in love with me. And that's rarely, that's rarely how it works. For most guys, if they like for guys, commitment tends to be a really kind of like serious issue, right? Like it's like, okay, you know, he's telling you, like I just want a friend with benefits and I know that I don't want anything more because of usually it's some kind of baggage that he has from his past, right? I was hurt, my family is filled with people who are divorced, you know, he thinks that women hurt, manipulate men, you know, yada, yada, yada, yada, right? And those things are pretty ingrained in his mind. And so you are like love is all that matters. And he's like, I'm in love, but, you know, I don't want to end up getting hurt again or getting hurt like my friends did or whatever. And so he's willing to let that obstacle stand in front of him no matter what. And what ends up happening a lot of times is women just end up getting hurt because they think that something's going to change and then they're getting physical. And so they're just getting more and more and more attached. While the guy is like, I told you from the beginning that this is what I wanted and nothing else was going to happen. And now you're turning it into something else. And it happens over and over and over again. Tammy says, so true, Matt, how soon after a shattered heart should I start to date again? Well, it kind of depends on you, right? It depends on where you are and how you feel. And it's one of those things where it's like, okay, it depends on whether you can help yourself heal. And while you're in a relationship, which a lot of people cannot and so what they end up doing is they just bring their baggage into the relationship. And so the best thing that you can do is figure out how to get rid of that baggage, right? And it can sometimes take a depending on how bad your baggage is. It might take a really long time. And for some people it takes less time. And if you want it to take less time, you can always go through different kinds of programs out there that you can go through to kind of heal and help yourself out. There's my suggestion right now. We're actually working that that's kind of the next one of the next phases that we have in our business here is we're going to start working with women to heal their hearts because it's such it's really such a problem, right? Like our our mission and goal with commitment connection in this business that I have is is to help heal the divide between men and women so that men and women can be in relationships where they have each other's back and they love each other and they're moving towards the same goals again. And one of the reasons why that doesn't happen in this day and age, the reason why we have things like the the war of the sexes and men and women are fighting each other and we're using each other and we're hurting each other and we're constantly hurting each other and it's men and women fighting against each other, hurting each other is because we are hurt, right? People hurt people hurt people and I used to do motivational speaking back in the day. And when I did motivational speaking, I worked with some groups that went to schools and talked about bullying. And one of the things that they talked about in bullying is they say bullies bully because they're bullied. Right. And so what we found was that people that are bullies, people that hurt other people are hurting on the inside. And so the only way that we can get to a space where we're in partnership and we're really loving each other and treating each other well is if we're healing ourselves. It's the only way that we're going to get there because if you're hurt inside, you're going to hurt other people, not because you want to, but because you're defending yourself, you're fighting against getting hurt again and in that process of making sure that you don't get hurt, you're hurting other people. Many times it's completely unintentional. Man, I went off on a rant there. So Regina said, first time catching you live. Thanks for the content. Hello. Hello, hello, hello. Jeanette says, if he broke up with her and is moving out, then what? Then you wait until it's broken up. They're not together anymore. You don't want to deal with that situation. It's not, it's a bad situation. Alexandra says, exactly leave those types of dudes. You want all strings attached, not a thin thread that you hope won't break. Guess what? It will break. Yeah. So Jeanette said, I think it is best to move on value self and do the abundance. Just got caught off guard and taken it back. She wasn't even looking and it sounds like it started. Yeah, it was innocent. It started off innocent and red flags were everywhere. And you didn't pay attention to them because you wanted it to be something different than what it was. And it wasn't and you ended up, you're probably going to end up getting hurt because of it. And it sucks. But that's just the reality of the situation. And it's guys, it's a guy's job to push things forward. Right. That's what a man's job is. Is he it's his job to move things forward. If we gave that job to women, it wouldn't like from from the initial phase, for the most part, it wouldn't end up happening. And it's guys who it's their job to push things forward from a physical standpoint and move things forward and forward and forward and forward. And it's your job as a woman to make sure that you need to do is make sure that you're either giving him green lights. Right. You're opening the door completely for him to come through. You're you're either opening the door for him completely. You're keeping the door shut and you're making him prove himself by saying, hey, I'm not going to open this door unless you prove to me that, you know, you're the right guy for me and that we both want the same things and that you're going to invest in me and that you want a real relationship. If that's what you want, or you're shutting the door and locking it completely and not letting him in. And the problem with what you did in this situation is that you opened a door and let him come in. And what you should have done is shut it and been like, hey, what are we doing here? Right. And thought about it logically instead of just getting totally emotionally wrapped up into it and making sure that the situation was clear from the beginning and what you would have found was that it's not and that it's a messy situation and you should have gotten into it in the first place and you should have locked the door. So Mona says, hi, he never said that we are in a relationship, but he wants to see me two to three times a week. Didn't have sex and it's been two months almost hanging out at the same time he is texting me every single day. Talks about his day and he thinks of me and misses me. I don't know what's going on. He shows a lot of interest though. Yeah, what you need to do is go watch the last the last live stream that I did about the signs that a guy wants a real relationship with you. You need to go watch that video right now or after, after we're done live streaming here. That's what you need to do. Mona, Tammy says, I have a guy that says he wants to have a friend with benefits, but he shows me more than that with his actions is this real. No, believe him when he says that he wants a friend with benefits. What you need to go do is you need to go watch. What was that? What was the life? There's another live stream that I did about this. I think it was how to go from a friend with benefits, how to go from a casual relationship to a committed one. Go watch that video, Tammy, because that will show you exactly what's going on and your situation is that he just wants a friend with benefits and you're thinking that it's something more because he's acting like it's something more and what you don't realize is that he really doesn't want anything more and he told you that and if you get into this any deeper into this situation, you're just going to end up getting hurt because he's going to be like, hey, I told you from the beginning, I just wanted friend with benefits. Tammy says, I really need help. I'm at the lowest and see nothing to move forward. I am thinking I don't want to continue on anymore. I'm so tired. Go get my forever woman program. Go to the forever woman formula dot com. You can download my program for free there and start using what I talk about this whole situation of all of this stuff, the things that we're talking about in this live stream, the story that we went over. None of that would have happened if you would have if you follow what's in my forever woman formula program, none of that would have happened. So click on the link above or below this video and go check that out. That's my suggestion. Shannon says he's looking for a woman with low self-esteem, no confidence in herself. He's probably low self-esteem as well and he has no confidence in himself, which is why they're attracting each other in this situation. Helena Hart says, hello, hello, Helena. Hello, Helena. I hope you're doing well. We should still do that live stream soon. If you guys want Helena and I to do a live stream together soon, say it. Let us know in the comments. Jillian says, thank you, Matt. Ladies, just because we're feeling love doesn't mean a guy is exactly, exactly, exactly. Think of guys who want to have sex seconds after meeting us and are bewildered when we want none of that. Same situation. Yes, it is. It's the same situation. So Kim says, how do you pay attention to the man you're married to? Not sure, not sure what you mean by that. How do you pay attention to the man you're married to? Oh, you're having problems paying attention to the man you're married to? Seems like a strange... Well, you can focus on learning how to pay more attention to somebody, right? Like, if you want to pay more attention to a guy, what you need to do is get curious. If you're like, hey, I need, like, I have a problem with paying attention to him, which is what it sounds like your problem is, what you need to do is get curious about him, get curious about who he is, get curious about his life, get curious about what he does, just get curious about, about him in general, and that will help you a lot. All right, are there any more questions about anything from anybody in here? If there are no other questions, then we will end up. Helena says, I love you guys. Tammy says, thank you, Matt. Yes, sessions are awesome. Okay, great. All right, so is there anything else that we need to talk about here? I feel like we're kind of running into a wall here. So all right, so I'm just going to, I'm just going to assume that we're done here. There's no other questions. And we will just go ahead and close this off. Thank you so much for being here with us today. I appreciate, I appreciate you guys. Really, we're working here to empower all of you women to have the relationships that you want to have. Again, if you don't have the Forever Woman program, go to theforeverwomanformula.com and check that out. If you haven't joined our community yet, you can join for free at thegoddaskcommunity.com. And so thank you, everybody, for being here. And I will speak with you again soon. Toodaloo, toodalada, da, toodaloo.