 Oh man a bunch of you reached out to me and let me know about this brand new Laura Lee video and I finally had a chance to watch it and now I know why everybody was telling me to watch it so let's break this thing down. What is up everybody this is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel what I try to do take different topics going on in the YouTube community try to see what lessons we can learn from them to improve our own mental and emotional well-being and check this out this is part one of a two-parter when it comes to breaking down Laura Lee's video I want to take a look at it from two different angles so make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell so you don't miss out on part two all right but anyways yeah and if you're not following me on social media make sure you do at the Rewired Soul over on Instagram and Twitter and before we get started real quick make sure you watch this entire video because I have not one but two special announcements later on in this video one of them's like hidden in the middle because I know some of you like to just skip to the end and find out what the announcement is so one of them's going to be hidden right in the middle all right but yeah let's talk about this so Laura Lee just released her video about why she adopted her niece Erin and yeah so we're break this down I pulled some clips that I want to discuss in this video so those of you who are just now meeting me hi my name is Chris and I'm a recovering drug addict and alcoholic I'm also the son of an alcoholic mom all right so my sobriety date is June 23rd 2012 so a few months ago I just celebrated seven years sober all right my drug of choice it started off with alcohol then I got really into prescription pain medications opioids and I was pretty much just doing both but anyways I can relate a lot to this story especially coming from a family where addiction runs rampant all right but anyways let's take a look at this first clip I never really had an intention on ever having this conversation with you guys and it's not because I don't care about you guys but it's because it's such a sensitive subject and such a big thing that happened in my family and but I know that when I implemented her in it was just like her just here and it was so much left unsaid so with talking to my sister and with talking to Aaron they both agreed they're really excited for me to film it and talk about it now so something I forgot to mention is aside from being in recovery I also worked at a drug and alcohol treatment center for a little over three years and I'm currently pursuing my CADC which is a certified alcohol and drug counselor license so with that clip right there I want to discuss like the power of sharing your story and it's one of the reasons why I wanted to work in a treatment center all right like I'm so grateful that not only Laura Lee but her niece and her sister are willing to open up and share this story like it's it's difficult for a lot of people it took me two years I refer to myself in my first two years as a closet recovering addict because I didn't tell anybody if you weren't a very close friend or family member nobody knew but eventually what happened for me was I got to a point where I was like man I never thought I could even get two days clean and sober now I have two years how many other people feel like that I need to share my story right so it's so awesome that Laura Lee and her family are sharing this story and I really really hope it inspires some other people it caused a lot of chaos it caused a lot of fights it caused even violence in our household and parents singing along and on top of that we were a low income family my water and power were cut off literally all the time cable cut off all the time phones cut off all the time and it was really chaotic but I don't want you guys thinking I'm telling you this so you're like have empathy for me and feel bad for me I just want to be candid and let you guys know the real world and what really went on because I know there are so many people out there in the exact same situation as I was in and I want you to know you're not alone and that you can get through it and you know your life can change completely so I wanted to toss in that clip right there because this this kind of thing really bumps me out it bumps me out because like creators you know when we sit down and make a video like just like being open and vulnerable which in my opinion are some of the best videos on YouTube like I'm not even subscribed to Loreley but this is the best video I've ever seen from her like but it bumps me out that people have to like preface them sharing their story like I'm not looking for pity I'm not looking for you to feel bad for me or anything like that it's like god like it just it bumps me out because it kind of shows you the state that we're in as a culture where we're always expecting the worst out of people we're expecting everybody to have the worst intentions the worst motives right so creators like Loreley they have to say I'm not trying to get pity or anything like that she has to explain her motivations behind it which is trying to help others you know what I mean like the fact that she hasn't gone into this story before should be enough but especially because of the you know controversy Loreley was in last year I understand why she did it but I want you as the viewers to kind of think about that how how isn't it sad that creators have to say I'm not looking for pity I'm just trying to share my story to hopefully help people like it's a little silly how we have to do that when my sister was 16 she was pregnant with Aaron so she was a teen mom I was 14 years old I'm two years younger than my sister and this is what led up to my parents divorce which I think needed to happen probably before this but when my mom found out my sister was pregnant she thought it was a bit of a mistake how she raised all three of us with my dad and so she told us she was divorcing my dad to take my sister and her new baby and me away from the situation just she wouldn't have to raise Aaron in the same situation that me my brother sister were raised so in that clip right there I want to talk about this like her mom leaving the husband like that is so powerful and I don't think many people understand how powerful that is all right so when I was working at the treatment center I had so so many people mainly women who came through treatment and their life depended on getting sober or their kids well being depended on the the mom getting sober right but they would say I can't leave my husband I can't leave I'm like the hell you can't you can leave this dude right the thing is we don't want to all right so like Laura Lee when she's talking about how when her niece was uh you know about to be born the mom was finally like you know what I do not want her to go through what my kids went through and she finally gained the courage to leave you know that man and my mother she um I'm gonna show a little bit about what it was like growing up with an alcoholic mother in a little bit but she's coming up on 14 years clean and sober and one of the only reasons she's still sober today is because she finally left her husband all right not my dad it was my step dad but she left my dad too anyways anyways like this is really powerful I just want you guys to know like when it comes to our recovery like this is a life and death situation in most cases like we have to leave people that are not there helping us get better or in this case with Laura Lee's mom if you're in a relationship with an addict or alcoholic if they're refusing to get help if they're refusing to stay well and do what they have to do to stay sober it is time for you to leave that relationship all right as much as we wish our love or think our love could make someone get better and by staying with them they can make them get better like in many cases it's actually keeping them in that bad place and then we moved into a two-bedroom apartment where Aaron and my sister could share a room and then me and my mom shared a room our then income went from being low to being like really low because my mom's a daycare teacher and they don't make a lot of money she always she's been a daycare teacher for like over 20 years and so the money we have from my dad's job literally was gone and we just were living off her income so my mom had picked up two extra jobs she got another daycare teacher job after work and then really late at night she worked at a pet store almost every night so my mom was working her hardest I was in school and my sister was about to have her baby I just want to show that clip right there because Laura Lee if you ever see this tell your mom that she is a badass like I love I love hearing stories about this like her mom left the dad and is working multiple jobs to support these kids and her new granddaughter I'm like dang like sit back like when we think about all the excuses we have not to go out and do stuff like we need to look at stories like that and be like damn if Laura Lee's mom could do that what can I get done well definitely want to say something about it because if it will help anybody it's worth telling um I just never thought that I would be somebody to be addicted to a drug I've had you know boyfriends in the past who were addicted and I tried to help them to them where we have um our dad you know with an alcoholic so um I never really realized what it meant to be and actually to have a tiny one and so addiction definitely doesn't discriminate so right there Laura Lee's sister talks about how she never thought she'd be addicted and I can definitely relate to that so as the child of an alcoholic mom like I swore like I'm never gonna touch that stuff you know what I mean and I actually didn't get drunk for my first time until the end of my senior year but I was like you know I this this won't happen to me I'm not gonna turn into that person and Laura Lee's sister kind of shares a little bit about how she was just off and running once she started and that was my story too and then second we're gonna talk about genetics and everything when it comes to addiction but for some of us that's the case like if any of you are in recovery or even currently in addiction like feel free to leave a comment down below like did you realize that you were hooked the second you got higher drunk the first time because that's what happens to so so many of us all right and something else I was just thinking about is I'm really glad that Laura Lee is talking about this and her whole family's involved because like everybody out there needs to care about addiction like it affects everybody like on average I think the current statistic is one out of every 10 or 11 people is addicted to a substance so that means like even if you're not addicted if you know 10 or 11 people someone you know is addicted and like Laura Lee talks about it affects the entire family like you might be affected by this so it's important to understand that stuff all right do you think it was hereditary in any way or do you think like you know our childhood was a little crazy with mom and dad um yeah I think like I don't know like they say it's hereditary with those alcoholics and I don't know I think it's just like a disease that we have so right there when she's asking like do you think you know you got it from dad or you know whatever it is right so here's the thing when it comes to addiction there are a variety of different risk factors so I used to teach a class in the rehab center about the science of addiction and one of the things I would start off with was the risk factors because something I got to a point with my recovery was I was like why me why did I become addicted so there are a variety of different risk factors and just from listening to this story like one of them is genetics all right there is an addiction gene and if you have that gene you have a 50 50 chance of becoming addicted it doesn't mean you will become addicted like Laura Lee it doesn't sound uh or we don't know like but it doesn't sound like she has a problem with drugs or alcohol it doesn't happen to everybody that has that addiction gene all right the other thing is too people who are raised by alcoholics or drug addicts are at a much higher risk of addiction all right so if your caregiver is an alcoholic or a drug addict your chances increase to I believe it's about 80% all right so there's a 50% chance based on genetics but an 80% chance just by being raised in that environment so even if you are adopted and raised by an alcoholic or a drug addict your chances of becoming addicted are extremely high but then there are other risk factors such as mental illness um Laura Lee mentioned that they were pretty broke when she was growing up poverty is another contributing factor factor towards addiction but anyways anyways if you're interested in this stuff and learning about the science of addiction the course I taught at the rehab center I actually have it up on my website all right and it was 100% free all right the course is only like an hour hour and a half long okay so that is going to be linked down in the description below so if you want to learn about the science of addiction go check that thing out I truly am really grateful and have so much family that actually love and care about me and like I put that for granted you know like mom is so awesome and you and Erin just everybody that's been so forgiving of me that you know just all the horrible things that I did while I was on drugs and it just it's crazy how everybody just you know came back to me and like trusting me and it feels really good even if I do have to go to prison down the road you know God forbid I don't have to I hope I don't but if I do I know that I have my family and you guys behind me it it's a different mindset it really is right there that is such a powerful part all right when she's talking about like even if I eventually have to go to prison I have my family like I remember when I first got clean I heard people talking like this and like that is madness that is absolute bananas like I don't know about y'all but I didn't get clean and sober to go to prison you know what I mean but as we stay sober like a lot of us have to we call it cleaning up the wreckage of our past and some things come up like for example I'm seven years sober and some stuff came up earlier this year from before I got sober all right like these things can happen and sometimes I've seen people go to jail for stuff they did before they got sober even though they had years of recovery but here's the thing when we get sober and we start living this new life like we get our family back right like I'm gonna talk about my son in a second but we get our children back like we have hope you know what I mean and I've met people who have gotten locked up and stayed sober you know so I think it's awesome that Lorely's sister's in a place where she can share that I know that she's happy and I'm happy that she's happy and I'm just so thankful that my family took you know over and came and stepped in where I put it because there's so many people out there that their children are in foster care and they're fighting I see them in class fighting to get them out and I feel like this is beyond blessed that both my children didn't have to go that you know my family members stepped up and so that's a blessing so right there like that is so true like her sister talking about how there's other people like fighting to get their kids out of foster care and yeah she was very fortunate um that Laura was able to adopt you know her daughter Erin um I am very fortunate as well like I was addicted until my son was three years old and I wasn't allowed to see him I didn't see him for the last four months of my addiction and then I didn't see him until I was about four or five months sober all right and thank god for his mom like I am so lucky to have such an amazing baby mama she is awesome and her family is amazing and it took some time but we've repaired our relationship like today is my son's little brother's birthday and we were able to like get him some presents and everything like that and my son's little brother is the kid of my baby mama and her new husband you know what I mean like my life is just extraordinary today and I hear stories like this and it makes me so grateful like even Laura Lee's sister you can hear that gratitude that Laura Lee was able to adopt Erin you know what I mean like I've I've met other people who got sober and they've had family members adopt their kids you know and it's it's something that a lot of people who aren't in recovery won't understand but yeah like that's definitely better than your kids ending up in foster care you know what I mean yes and that is that you just have to give it time and I know that sounds horrible but it eventually gets better if it didn't nobody would recover lastly I love that part right there where you know she just wants to tell anybody out there struggling like it gets better and like that's the same thing I would tell anybody out there struggling or just in early recovery like when we when we get sober so many of us we we think that it's going to get better right away we think we're going to get clean and sober for like 30 days and the family's going to come back we're going to get a job we're going to have money and everybody's going to forgive us and all this other stuff it takes time like there's a saying in the rooms of 12 step programs that don't leave before the miracle happens right and I'm the type of person I don't know about you but I'm like when when is this when is this damn miracle going to happen right and nobody nobody could tell me that but they promise me that as long as I stay sober one day at a time and try to become a little bit better of a person one day at a time things will get better and there were so so many times that I wanted to relapse in my first couple years sober but I remember to just give it more time and now my life is phenomenal and those of you who who have been around for a little while you know that I've had a very very rough year but relapse is not an option for me because even during my horrible days while sober there's still way better than the life I used to live all right but anyways tomorrow I will be making a video um the part two of this video and I'm going to discuss being a loved one of an addict or an alcoholic because like I said I'm the son of an alcoholic mom luckily she's sober now but I want to discuss this from the angle of Laura Lee and her daughter Erin so make sure that you stay tuned and that exciting announcement I was telling you about I actually wrote a book called caught in the crossfire and I wrote that book for anybody who has a loved one struggling with addiction all right it has intervention strategies but mainly it's how you can keep your head on straight whether or not the other person gets sober all right so down in the description below there's a coupon code and the first 10 people to use that code get a free copy of caught in the crossfire all right if you miss out on the coupon code it's only three bucks but anyways anyways if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon everybody who supports the channel in other ways by getting merch or buying my books and all that kind of stuff all of it helps a lot and I love you for it all right thanks again for watching I'll see you next time