 When I was about 14 years old, I decided to avoid the process of lying as much as I can. And that applies still up to today. To today I'm 31 right now, so it's been a while. And again, I avoid lying at all costs as much as much as possible. Now to make a disclaimer, that does not mean I never lie. It's not like I completely refuse to lie. But I do have conditions. If I employ the tool of lying, that is primarily when the situation really is about someone else. Like when somebody's well-being depends on it. So let's say this is an extreme example, but let's say Nazis are hunting a person and that person is hiding at my basement and Nazis come in and I'm like, I refuse to lie. There's a person in my basement. It's like, no. There are cases where lying can really have negative impact on another person's life. And sometimes I really struggle with that. I balance with that. And it's like, ah, they really have to lie now. And it's like, is this really like the limit where the other person's well-being stands in the fact whether I will lie for that person or not. So those rare occasions, I don't admit lying entirely, but I really do my all best to avoid it as much as possible. Now, if I do lie, the cases that I lie, they're super rare. Like through the, what, 17 years that I chose to start avoiding lying by all means. It's almost like I can remember the moments when I lie. I could probably count them on my fingers. There's another, you could say, disclaimer. So I guess making this video allows, because it's all about disclaimers. But I feel it's important to kind of set up the ground before I continue sharing how that process of avoiding lying by all means, how it impacts my personal thinking, my life, and how it feels to live that way. But before I go there, it doesn't also mean that I'm a rude, terrible asshole. You know, it's not like, you know, let's say my girlfriend asks me, you know, is this, what do you think about this dress? So I will not lie and say, oh, it looks amazing. It's the best one. If in the back of mind I'm thinking, it's not really that good. But I also won't go on and say like, it sucks. It's terrible. You know, my mom makes meal and let's say, she actually does great food, but let's say, you know, it's like I don't like it. I won't say like, oh, it's shit. I'll be like, you know, I'll be diplomatic. I'll try to be more in the gray zone, kind of feeling, what's the closest to truth where I'm still not lying? It's like, well, you know, yeah, I kind of missed a little bit of, you know, saltiness or something, but it was okay, you know. So something like that. It's not like a rude asshole, which is using not lying as an excuse to be an asshole. So there's sometimes a bit of playing in the gray zone. You know, last example, you know, you know, in a cafe or restaurant and I didn't enjoy the food that much and the waitress says, and did you like it? I'm like, I was okay, you know, and it's like, yeah, it's not like, you know, it's kind of a gray zone. So that I still do that. But in terms of lying, just not telling the truth and avoiding it in, in like real ways, I don't do that. So I don't know if this, after all these disclaimers, if there's anything still special about it, I guess, you know, I don't, I think lying is probably, I don't associate myself with it because so many years I'm avoiding lying, but so I can't, I can't speak for others, but it does seem that lying is much more employed by others than, than I probably would guess. One way or another, what is fascinating about that process and what I want to share is, you know, into, into how that affects my mindset and into what situations it gets me. Now, kind of on a funny, but also interesting note, I, there's, there are numerous situations where lying would be so much easier where it's like, if I would lie and that's kind of what fascinated me is that avoiding lying in a very strong way, that's actually the hard way. Most of the times, lying is such a convenient tool. It could be such a convenient tool. And I find myself in those situations where again, as I said, you know, let's see, I go to a masseuse and the masseuse does, does a job. I'm like, it's like, I was not impressed at all per se. And I'm a nice guy. I do like to make people feel good. So it's tough for me to say that. But so, so, you know, and let's say the masseuse asked me, so, so, did you enjoy my session? And do you feel better? And my first instinct is to be like, oh, yeah, yeah, it's so great, man, you're amazing. But I know it's like, I will not lie. I choose not to lie. So it's like, it would be so much easier to just lie. And I'm like, well, you know, no, actually, you know, sorry to say that I wasn't so impressed. And I feel bad about saying that. But I also recognize that most likely it's important, especially if I'm, you know, diplomatic about it and I'm not being a douche, it's important for other people sometimes to hear the truth. And it's easier for us to lie, especially if you're a nice person like myself. But that does make things better in most cases. So, you know, there's other moments as well. If you do something embarrassing, and somebody asks you about, you know, about that embarrassing thing you did. And it would be so easy to lie and say, no, I never did that. No, oh, no, I never, you know, embarrassed myself that way. But since I don't lie, I'm like, oh, no, no, that person asked me that. So embarrassing, but I will not lie. And either, you know, there's the option to say, well, you know, can I choose the right not to answer this? Can we skip the question? Although that already kind of shows, you know, you've done it. But most of the times I'm like, I hate to say it, and I'm like, yes, you know, I've done that embarrassing thing or I admit the blame that I did. So it's often, it's the hard way to tell the truth. But what it does, the brilliant part, and there's, I feel like there's like two parts that I'd like to emphasize in this video, the brilliant part that I appreciate about that, how it affects my mindset is first of all, I feel it toughens my character because I choose not to lie. And when lying would be the easy way out, and I'm not choosing the easy way out, but it makes me grow. It makes me become bigger. It makes me take responsibility. It makes me admit to things and be transparent and be open. And it just, I feel like it forces me to grow my character because I do kind of have to overstep my ego. I do have to overstep my sense of comfort. I do have to, I do have to dare to feel uncomfortable and to own the truth. And I feel the more I do that with each time it makes me stronger, it makes me more, it makes me feel like I'm more kind of, more myself. I kind of find the right expression there. There's the great Lithuanian expression. Maybe it works in English too. I feel like more in my own skin. I think that works in English too. And I feel like I don't need to hide anything. I don't need to pretend stunning I'm not. And I get used to taking the right but the hard way versus the wrong but the easy way, which I feel that's a huge mistake many people do. They usually choose the easy path which leads to worse results. And on the long term they lose because of that. But it feels easier and more comfortable at that moment. And again, in the long term they win in the short period. Kind of they feel like they won but in the long term they lose. And I lose on the short term. I admit something embarrassing per se, for example. But then I win in the long term because I'm developing my character. So that's a really brilliant part of avoiding lying by old means. Now the other aspect which I wanted to emphasize in this video too is how to affect my mindset. I think it would be fair to say that especially through my work on my main YouTube channel, The Martial Arts Journey, I am known for my honesty. Or many of my videos are appreciated for my honesty. That's how I kind of made my career. If you know the Aikido vs. Mimei video, my most watched video, I admitted in that video which was definitely not in my favor. I did not know how people would respond. And it was risky career-wise for me. I might have lost my students because of it. It was uncomfortable to do that on record. It didn't feel good for me, but truth was more important for me. And I still published it. And many people up to today are impressed and they ask me, So man, how did you do that video? How did you have the guts to publish it? Because people are surprised because most people would never do that. They would choose the easier path, the path of lying. But I feel because part of that, the reason I was able to publish that video and admit all those things on record, is not because it was just super easy and convenient for me and comfortable. I didn't know that the video would be so successful. But I think the reason I was able to do that was because each day, each moment, each time I choose the truth vs. the lie, and I build that character, it becomes more and more natural for me to do that. Lying is just so distasteful for me. I don't like lying so much. I just feel so bad. And again, as I said, it usually has to be extreme cases, which usually impact the other person, where if I would lie, it would have to be those circumstances. But still, I'm like, I'm going to hate doing this. Or if somebody asks me to lie for a not a good enough reason, I'm like, man, you don't realize what you're asking. It's like, I hate being that. It's just my guts hate it. And I feel that sense of hatred towards lying, I accept other people who lie. I learned about body language a while ago, and I read people's body language. It's kind of a natural thing I do. And I do sometimes notice people lying. When I was a martial arts instructor, I used to see some of my students coming and lying, like, oh, I've been away so that I didn't come because of that. I'm like, it's fine. You know, it's like, I accept that. I just smile at it. And that's it. But internally for myself, lying, I hate the process. It's just not up to my standards. And I feel the sense of hatred I developed over the years towards it, the fact of how much I hate lying and how I became used to seeing the truth even at the price of my own comfort, that step by step that built up to such a realm where I became capable of doing what I did and of doing what I'm doing now, of admitting my faults, of admitting my shortcomings, of admitting my mistakes, of exploring something honestly. And again, many people are impressed or they expressed their impressions of me. You know, I've done Aikido that day for 13 years and I was able to let it go eventually. I closed my dojo, my main livelihood, all of that. Most people are impressed. They're like, how were you able to do that? And I'm like, for me, it's a lot of that was natural. And I think that's because I'm so invested in the truth in every aspect of my life that because I'm not lying to others, I feel I lost and became used to lying to myself as well. And I think that's one of the worst things that can happen on the opposite side. If you're lying to everyone else all the time, the worst thing is that if you start to lie to yourself, and I think some people do lie, like even in the case of the martial art Aikido, which I was quite vocal about giving some criticism towards it, I met a great number of Aikidoka who I would feel like they have doubts. They are not certain about that, some of the aspects of it, but they would not admit it. Not only to others, but to themselves as well. It was like kind of they're lying to themselves and there's various cases where people do that. And I feel that eventually, you know, that's going to blow up in your face. That's not a long-term good path. It will, again, as I said, hit you in the face eventually because if you're lying to yourself, you will make decisions which are not according to your integrity, which are not true and honest to yourself, and those decisions will, you know, fuck up your life. And so if you're honest, if you're truthful, if you value truth in great means, I feel it may be uncomfortable at that moment. I've been in many situations where I was like, oh man, because I don't lie, I'm going to have to say that. This is not easy. I'm going to hate doing this, but I know it's important. I'm still going to do it. And usually in the long run, it turns out to be one of the best things I did in my life. Closing the Maikido Dojo. It was one of the best things I did in my life. Opening it too, but closing it as well. And, you know, even like starting this new channel, it was difficult. It was a challenging process, but I feel like I would be lying to myself if I wouldn't start it, if I would focus on the martial arts journey channel just because it's successful already, but I don't feel as passionate about it anymore. And that's like, for me, that's like not a way to go in. It's going to take a while until this channel will come about and we'll pick up its pace, et cetera, et cetera. And it's an uncomfortable feeling to go through the process of building a new channel from ground up, but I feel, I know, I trust that eventually that will be much better as the end result. I know there's like light at the end of the tunnel. So, you know, that's kind of, I cannot tell a lie moment, which leads to uncomfort, but awesome things. So, enough blabbling anymore. I think you got the point. Let me know what you think in the comments. What's your relationship with lying? Kirsten knows always. See you there.