 I mean, no, I'm probably not going to marry a black man, but I mean, I can still talk. Oh, wait, you said probably so there's hope. You haven't divested. I have divested. Okay, so why didn't you say I won't marry a black man? You said I probably won't. You have to make yourself into the kind of man that women want. You sound like Kevin Samuels. How? You're literally saying what he says. You have to make yourself the type of woman that these type of men want. No, no. So what's the difference? What's the difference? Because according to him, you shouldn't go to college. Because those because those because those men don't value that. Okay, well, what am I supposed to do? Sit in the hood and be poor as hell? But that's not that's not the point. The point is the rhetoric is the same. That is not the same thing because that is not the same. No, no, no. The things are different. I agree with you. The things are different, but the rhetoric is the same. You're saying, okay, so if I was to say to you, you have to become the type of man that the type of woman you want. Because that is what you want. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. If I have to become the type of man that the type of woman I want wants, correct? You have to become the type of man that women want. Yes, perfect. And if I said to you, you have to become the type of woman that the type of man you want wants. Is that correct as well? Wrong, because men and women are not the same. The reality, the reality for a lot of black women is that they are the breadwinners of their families. They are the they are the higher earners. They are the ones who are most responsible. They are the providers and the protectors of the household. You know what I would tell them? People have to keep the keep the lights on. You know what I would tell those women? I would tell those women to go back to the drawing board and become the type of woman that the type of man that wouldn't require you to be the breadwinner. That doesn't mean that that's not realistic. That is not a realistic. Why not? Because the point I was making is that a lot of our women don't hold white men or white love interests to the same pseudo masculine standards. So the white dude doesn't have to make six figures. The black dude does. Black women ask for black men to make six figures. Sure, it might it might not be six figures, but it's other metrics you guys you guys impose. And again, if it was just me saying this at my age and other men saying this at their age, I've had conversations with boys in high school and they say the same thing. They're not making money, but they're talking about like, you know, masculine features and things like that. So my thing is, why aren't you? Why are you grading white dudes on a curve and still talking shit about black men? Black men don't. I mean. So for those men who are committed, who are doing the right things based on male curriculums or whatever the case may be, and we're still eating shit, what can you say to us? I'm saying that I don't see that as being a real problem because there are not enough black. What's the definition of gaslighting? Making somebody believe that their reality is not real. What did you just do? You're not your reality. You I mean, you your reality is stuttering because that's what you just did. No. How can we honestly have this conversation and claim that black men are enjoying all the perks of masculinity and madness in this particular country without pointing out some of the pitfalls of manless and specifically black madness that black men have to suffer? Because it's like when it's time to give out empathy, we should take it evenly. When it's time to give out blame, we should take all the blame. Black men should take all the blame. And it's like that doesn't make sense. I don't. Similarly, I could say black women have never had the disposition of femininity, even when black men did lead. No, I'm not saying that. Because you never let because you never led though. Black men never led. No. Ever. No. So Marcus Garvey means nothing to you. Elijah Muhammad means nothing to you. Martin Luther King. You can't all marry Marcus. Frederick Douglass. No, I'm not talking about those men in particular. I'm talking about the movements, the black panthers, the nation of Islam. We can't. So you're saying to me there's never been a collective of black men who led in spite of circumstances created to exterminate them. You're saying that I'm saying that there is never I'm saying that black men. So you're saying black men made a concerted decision to abandon. I don't know if a decision was concerted. I know. Okay, but you said they abandoned their post. Yes. Okay, perfect. Before that, you said they never had a post. So which one is it? You talked yourself into that trap. You said we weren't leaders. Then you said we abandoned leaders. You're really like mincing words here. And you're like really like. We got to stand beside and behind what we say. Okay, so I'm giving you an opportunity to recant your first statement when you said black men were never leaders. Black men were never leaders. But you just said they abandoned the home. Yes, but it doesn't mean they were leading in the home. Okay, so what did they abandon? They abandoned their kids. They abandoned their wives. Okay, what is their role in their kids and wives lives? To be a husband and father. What is husband and father? What is that role? I don't know. It's what men are supposed to do. If you're going to get married and have kids, it's what men are supposed to do. It's a leadership role, correct? But it doesn't mean you're a leader in that role. Again, Kevin Tang is married. He wasn't a leader in his marriage. Is husband and father a leadership role? No, not intrinsically, no. Okay, so what are you complaining that black men did? Because if you were saying black men abandoned their leadership responsibility, we can go there. But what are you... If we weren't leaders, we were never leaders, then what is your gripe with us? What are we doing wrong? Black men complain that the black community is woman-led. You complain that it's a gynaocracy. You complain that feminism has taken over, but you don't, but you don't lead anyway. And according, according to you, we've never led. I mean, I don't know why you're so caught up on if you never or ever led or was there a point in time in history where you at one time did. What does that matter in 2022? Because history is cyclical and words mean things. And if you use very dangerous rhetoric, and let's say for instance, you have a son, you have a daughter, and you're teaching them histories that black men never led, that sets a very dangerous paradigm. And I think that's where it comes from when people say the divest community sounds like white supremacist. Because you say a bunch of lies to paint a narrative that isn't substantiated by any fact. It's not a lie. And even if, again, even- Okay, so prove it. Wait, what does that one time in history do for us today? How does that help us today? Well, it's more than one time, obviously. For people who know history, it's more than one time. I've given you a bunch of examples, but what it does is it changes the paradigm. Because one of the things that we often do as a community is we talk about ourselves as being incapable of doing better. Without recognizing the fact that we were kidnapped, without recognizing the fact that we were put in situations to perpetuate our own dysfunction for the benefit of the white society that we now run to to be our saviors. I think it's very dangerous if we become dismissive of one another's experiences. So similarly, I could say black women in mass are not deserving of good men because they're not feminine. I don't say that. I say that these are the things black women need to do in mass. And for the ones who are doing the right things, if they are getting bad experiences, that's unacceptable, black men. Like, you shouldn't... Like, you could treat the 90 other ones like that, but don't treat her like that. Like, she's on her job. She's doing the right thing. Similarly, at the very least, what you could say is, if a black man is doing his job, he's deserving of a good black woman, but you're unwilling to say that. Man, I'm gonna say the ironic thing, man. The chick you just had on, it means nothing to say. I didn't know her, but we from the same neighborhood. She's fulfilling. I thought so, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, we grew up in the same hood, man. And I could understand, like, her mentality because, like, how we grew up wasn't the greatest. Break that down. Just poverty, drugs, you know, single mothers rampant, you know what I mean, abuse, just all kind of stuff, man. So, like, I can understand why she feels the way she do about black men because, like I said, in one hood, you didn't see a lot of black men there. And the ones that were there, they weren't shit. I mean, excuse me, I mean, they weren't the greatest. Yeah, facts. In only one. So that goes back to your point of when you're young, that shapes your perception as an adult. You know what I mean? And I think that she doesn't recognize that. You tell me, like, she doesn't recognize, okay, well, when I was young, seeing all this shaped my perception. So it's just built up childhood trauma. And, like, her baseline expectation of black men is what she saw as a kid. That's not right, man. That's heavy. That makes a lot of sense. It makes a lot of sense. And that's why I encourage therapy. I encourage conversation because a lot of us, and black men, too, a lot of our expectations are based on how our mom was or the girls from the block. You know what I mean? So it's important that we grow and we see the world differently. So that's real, man. I mean, we went to some of the same schools. You know what I mean? We went to the same middle school. I don't know if we went to the same high school or not. You know what I mean? And, like I said, I get her, you know? It's just unfortunate that that environment made her into who she is. Like, you know, I don't know where I rank at. As far as earnings, yes, I'm above average, but so, therefore, I mean, just even in that part of the, if I was the, because that's what I was doing, incorporate myself into that part of the conversation. And she was talking to me specifically saying that I was nothing. Right. I go, what? I make, I'm not like, and I can't because there's, I have so many other pitfalls that I'm overcoming, though, right at 42. But earning wise, I'm way above. Right, right. What are you talking about? And that's all, that's all black men are asking. We're just asking, let us be acknowledged for the things that we're doing right, as opposed to the narrative that's constant and consistent about how it doesn't matter what you do, you will never be good enough. And we all grew up hearing that and it's unacceptable.