 The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Psy Howard, and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Nash with Alan Reed as the star. No, Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum is giving daily enjoyment to millions of people all over America, in offices and factories, on farms and branches. In minds and oil fields, folks find that chewing Wrigley's Spearmint helps them feel better and work better. The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint gum are glad that their product is proving helpful and enjoyable to so many people, and they're glad too that they're able to bring you life with Luigi, because they know it's the kind of a radio program that millions of Americans enjoy. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his mama basco in it. Mommy, I'm more excited than I've ever been in my whole life, so don't be surprised that my mummy, if this letter doesn't look like it, was written by Uncle Pietro Zagotti. The reason I'm so excited is because I'm an inventor of something. That's right, the mama mia, and as soon as they're going to be in the history books, another Italian inventor's the name of Wittemarconi, that's going to be Luigi. I guess who you think in a mama mia, what could a Luigi invent? In America, lots of things has been invented already. Well, that's the true. Once a woman was to have a kitchen full of cans, as long as there come a summer smart American, here's an event for the can opener. Then another smart American is an event to safety pin, the rarest invention in the whole world of full of babies. They're going to walk around all they want without having to pick up with their pants. But now mama mia is a time, is a time to tell you what I invented. Is a marvelous mama mia, because it's a good for everybody. And I've got the idea from a lifetime of fountain pen, which is a go on a right, and even after you die. Mama mia, you know how summertime your shoelace is a break, and you can't wear your shoes? That's a happening to everybody. So I'm in event, what I'm going to call, the lifetime of shoelace. Yeah, that's right. It's the last of forever. And instead of being a 27 inches long, it's a 2,000 feet long. So when your shoelace is a break, you cut off a piece and use. Also, a very good thing about it is it's good for all the color shoes. Because one-half is a brown, other half is a black. And you're going to cut off from me the end. Isn't that the wonderful mama mia? Well, I don't know much about invention, so I'm going to go to my night school to class for advice, and they're going to help me out. I'm feeling so good. And mama mia, if you see my name in a paper, don't worry, I was not to run over. I'm a famous. America, I love you. Do you like the papa to me? Ramon? My wife has to go to class. All right, class, let's come to attention. Please, I'll call the roll. Mr. Basko? Present. Mr. Howard? Present. Mr. Olson? Present. Mr. Shoelace? Howdy-dowdy. Thank you, fellow poopers. There's nothing like a good laugh to break the ice. All right, Mr. Shoelace, that'll be enough. Now, class, our assignment for today was important dates in American history. Mr. Howard, what happened in 1803? 1803, let me see. I figured out a special code for remembering that date. I know it's got something to do with our poiches. So far, so good. Sure. My wife once paid $18.03 for a dress, and if I remember right, the dress had iglo's all over it. 1803, the poiches of Alaska. What's wrong, Mr. Howard? It's folding. You're telling me I don't know what kind of dress my wife bought. Mr. Howard, please. Wait, wait, you're right. The dress was a Spanish print. So in 1803, we bought Cuba. No. Then maybe it was. Horrible. It's too bad your wife didn't buy at the Bolero Shkirt. We would own South America. Please, Mr. Howard, stop guessing. You should remember your dates for themselves and not buy some system if your wife closed. Wait, wait, wait. 1803 was the Louisiana poiches. Well, that's right. How did you know it? It's simple. Louisiana begins with a Louis, huh? The Louis, that's a man's name. And I just remember my wife didn't buy a dress. She bought a pair of slacks. She was ready for all of it, daved by a zipper. And it's funny, if you have any more dates, I would like to supply the correct answers without any special formulas. Yin cracks or doodads. There he goes, the Swedish eager beaver. Well, thank you, Mr. Olsen. But I think I'll call on Mr. Basko. Mr. Basko, what happened in 1876? 1876, let me see that. It was a great invention. It helped tie the country together. Oh, the shoelace. And if you think I was a great invention, I'm going to get a bigger one. The lifetime of shoelace, 2,000 feet along. Him and Luigi, I know we got inflation, but aren't you overdoing it? Luigi, of course you're being funny with the shoelace, ain't you? Well, friends, I'm responding. You think this is so crazy, my idea? I always think America is the biggest country for inventions and... Well, I hate to sound discouraging, Mr. Basko, but, well, how practical is your idea? Well, I don't know much about it, but, well, after all, the people was alive at lots of inventors who weren't there first to start it, too. Yes, that's true. Sure, Luigi. Maybe you got a wonderful idea. You're hot, that's right. Ah, smile, Luigi. Maybe for 2,000 for shoelaces, you will go on to make 2,000 for socks. And then 2,000 for shoes. And then in a few years, you'll be a nation of octopusers. No, not at all. I'm not a smile, everybody. I'm only joking, you wouldn't have. And Luigi, the best of luck to you, because secretly, I admire you for your spirit. Like you say, in America, any invention could be as obsessed, and maybe yours will be. Well, thanks, Mr. Schultz, But that's what I'm going to find out from all of you. How am I going to make my idea a bigger success? Well, I think the best advice you could get, Mr. Baskill, would come from a patent attorney. Patent attorney? Yes, he'd help you protect it, get a patent, and might even help you to sell it. Luigi, I was making the most fun. So I'm going to help you with the patent attorney, and then I'm also going to be the wealth customer. Me too, Luigi, and me. No, I don't thank you, friends. You are so wonderful to me. Miss Bolting, make another mark in your lesson book for day. Yes? 1951. Luigi Baskill invented the Lifetime Shoelace, the greatest invention since the first. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh-ho. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Ho-hoo. Thank you, Mr. Burns. Goodbye. Well, what did the patent manaceture say? Is it going to take my case? Yeah, yeah, sure. You've got to have it $30 for the patent application for. $30? Yeah, Luigi. If you could only forget about that shoelace and invent some way to make money. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, but I'm a, I'm a, I wait. Wait, is your summer got it? Yeah. Baskarie, he's going to lend me the $30. He's always looking for investments. He's going to invest in me. Baskarie? That's gilvland. Baskarie wouldn't invest money in a pick-and-shovel if he was living in Fort Knox. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. But then, then you don't think he's going to lend me the money? Luigi, the only thing he's going to lend you is his daughter Rosa. And that he only lends for keeps. But wait, Luigi, wait, I don't want to discourage you. Maybe you can do it. But whatever you do, when you talk to Baskarie about money, don't, don't ask him suddenly. That shark might kill him. Yeah. First, first begin by talking about the weather. The weather? Yeah, yeah. Then, then you switch to politics. Politics, yeah. And then you discuss violence. And then you talk about invention. Then I'm going to lend me the $30. Yeah. And then the shark will kill him. She my friend. Well, yeah, is it nice to wear it now? Beautiful to wear a little banana nose. Pepper says it's going to be sunny all the day. Could it be a little melon head? And I'm going to be surprised if the temperature is going to go up to 80 degrees. Anything is a possibility for a country. Now, take a politics, sir. Baskarie, what do you think about a politics? Well, I'm glad you asked me, Luigi. Show us who you know how to ask. Good. Now, take a science. Wait, I'm going to throw in a politics here. Now, Luigi, I don't want you to unquote me, but I think. Oh, Baskarie. Baskarie, you certainly smart. Now, you know anything about interventions? Do I know it? What do you want to know? Well, I'm going to know if a certain or someone in the event of something would a certain or someone be smart enough to invest the money in that a certain or something. I should have thought a certain or someone was leading up to a certain or something. Luigi, how much you want to watch to the fore, and I'm sorry, but you ain't getting it. But, Baskarie, not even if I'm a got great intervention. Oh, look who's a great inventor. All right, I'll abide. What did you invent, little cabbage buds? Lifetime chulesse. Lifetime chulesse? Chulesse. It's a 2,000 feet long, a black and a one and a brown and the other. Whenever you need a chulesse, you cut them off a piece. Black, brown, or whatever you need. Luigi, start all over again. What up, Baskarie? Is it like a lifetime of fountain of pen only? Oh, yes, sign only. You don't get the guarantee the shoe gets it. Luigi, try to remember before you left Italy, did you want to Pietro as a goat to kick you in the head? You think I'm a crazy, huh? No, I don't think you're crazy. But if a man in a white jacket suddenly drops a net on you, Luigi, it's a matter because he thinks you're a butterfly. All right, all right, go ahead, Baskarie. You laugh, but a pattern attorney, you don't laugh, huh? A pattern attorney? Sure. Mr. Harold J. Bunsen, he's a autonomy. All I'm going to need is a $30. Just to think, Baskarie, $30 is a stopper to you from making a part of the money. Oh, listen to the purpose we could talk. Maybe he's got something. After all, I'm a see-crazy. Things are happening in America. Well, listen, you'll ask the chance, Baskarie, for somebody else to get it. Now wait, Luigi, business conditions before I take a $30 out of my mattress. What are the conditions? We go 50-50. 50-50? Yes, I make our contract on your side. And you give me $30 right away? Yes. All right, Baskarie. I take it only because I'm going to get to my invention of patented and then I'm going to be American in a vent. Good, Luigi. I'm a jester like you. Only I want to be American a millionaire. All right, it's a deal. Shake the partner. Shake. Oh, Baskarie, this is going to be the start of Baskarie Baskarie lifetime of Shulaise Company. A million is satisfied a customer. A million is satisfied a dollar. 10 million is satisfied a customer. 10 million a dollar, the $20 million a dollar. Baskarie. Can I have my $30? Oh, you always thinking about a filthy money. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's something to think about when you want to enjoy a taste treat between your meals. You know, there are lots of times when you're not really hungry, but still want something that you want that tastes good and gives you a little pick up. Well, a stick of wriggly spearmint gum solves your problem perfectly. It isn't rich or filling, yet it does satisfy you. That's because wriggly spearmint chewing gum has lots of delicious, long-lasting, real spearmint flavor for you to enjoy. And the smooth pleasant chewing gives you extra enjoyment. So for a sensible, satisfying treat to enjoy between meals, two wriggly spearmint gum. It costs so little and tastes so good. And now let's turn to page two of Luigi Baskarie's letter to his mother-in-law. Well, Mamma Mia is a wonderful watcher-hacker. First, I'm going to give a patent lawyer $30. And then after that, I'm going to get another $100 for what they call a patent assertion. This means that to find out if nobody else has ever had a similar invention. My partner Baskarie, he's going to put up all the money because he's going to want to lose his first attorney. And then I'm going to call, just now, from patent attorney. Nobody has ever had the same idea. Mamma Mia, I'm a religion. Oh, excuse me, here comes my partner Baskarie. We're going now to Mr. Pat and attorney's offices. All right, Mr. Pat and attorney, here we are. Where's the $1 million? Well, I'm afraid it's not that simple. Everything is coming along fine. Now, the next step is to get a model, something we can show to a manufacturer. Now, I've got me a dress of a shoelace factor. Good on, Erneston. If they can make a model of your shoelace. Oh, well, that's a good idea, huh? Well, I doubt if they'll ask for more than $100 for the model. $100? This whole thing was just going to cost you $30. You remember? Yeah, but if Baskarie is too late, then I have to stop it. Come on, please, forget the money, OK? Oh, my poor macros. Already, it's a start to sink down to the 1933 level. Well, it's a no use at the gripe. So you started with something Luigi I'm going to finish. Oh, fine. Well, here's the address, gentlemen. Show the shoelace of factor. Show the shoelace of factor. Mr. Phillips will see you in a moment, gentlemen. All right, then, Mr. Thank you. Hello, Luigi. I've been thinking. We still ain't got the pattern of a shoelace. If we tell the man what we want, he could have gone and partnered himself. But then, then you think that if we told him, he would do that to you? You'll never get a pair. You'll run across the crooks and the basements of food. Which reminds me, Luigi, here, our 50-50 deal is still going. Well, I'm sure, Pascalec, I'm not the first for 50% of you to get a rest. That's all right, that's all right. Hey, listen, I'll tell you what. When he asks what kind of a mark, let him figure it out himself. All right, that's a good idea, Pascalec. Are we going to be smarter than him, huh? Oh, you're so smart, Pascalec. Hey, Luigi, we make a wonderful achievement together. Yeah, like a Dr. Jekyll to the Mr. Hyde. Mr. Phillips will see you now, gentlemen. How are you? Thank you, Mr. We're going to go in. Well, how do you do, gentlemen? What can I do for you? I'm Mr. Phillips. I wanted you to make me a model of a shoelace that I'm going to do at the event. Well, that's very interesting. What kind of shoelace is it? Yes. What? You heard him. Yes. Well, how do you expect me to make you a shoelace? Well, it is simple. You got a machinery here. Tell a fella he should let a shoelace machine run until I'm going to tell him to stop. Then he's going to cut them off. Well, he's live with a run for thousands of feet. Careful, Luigi. He's a finder now to too much. Gentlemen, gentlemen, this is ridiculous. Can you give me a sketch of your shoelace? Well, I've got to, huh? Well, all right. I'm going to draw a picture on you on a one-it condition. And what's that? You've got to tie it up before you look at it. Gentlemen, I'm sure other shoelace factories can accommodate you. Good day. Oh, yeah. How many of you are going to want to make the model for the shoelace? Good day. Come apart now. Refuse you to talk with the people who refuse you to talk with me. Never that crooked. See how he almost got the information from you? Then he's making his own model. Yeah, but if it's going to please you, if you're going to talk, then I'm going to do my work. It's all right to wish you to make that model. But I'm going to get the tie. You get the tie? It's a cost to me a fortune. What are you complaining about? Well, all right. I'm going to start it. How many shoelaces do you get a tie together? 375. All of brown. And I'm going to get a 402 black orange tie together. That's probably how much I do. So many knots in my fingers that they feel like a top in it for themselves. Luigi, speaking of tying a knot, maybe you're going to tie a knot to one of my daughter, Rosa. Not going to do it first, but always, always are you looking for excuses? All right, all right. I just thought she could have helped out. I'm going to call her anyway. Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, come here, sit down. You're going to help us. Hello, Rosa. That's my new invention, Rosa. That's a lifetime of shoelace. $30 and not counting the $62 for the shoelace. That's funny. Trying to forget about the money, huh? I do cry, Luigi, but every time I lay down on my mattress, I feel that empty space under my head. That's funny. If you hurry up a weekend and go today to that big shoe company and a maybe salami shoelace. All right, all right, but Luigi all I'm going to say is they'd better buy it, or else. Or else what? Or else the second a pup's quick invent is going to wake up in one morning and find his neck with a lot of strings attached. Now remember, Luigi, I'm going to have a little money part of this a day. All right, all right. How much are you going to ask for a shoelace? Oh, I'm willing to settle it for $5 million. What? That's too much. To me, as the more important, I'm going to show the seller my first invention. All right, all right, then what should we ask? $3 million. Well, we see. We'll let them in the name of the price, and then we double it. They say no. We walk out three or four times. They call us the back. We explain split the difference, and they agree, yeah? Well, how much have to come with them? I don't know, Luigi, but all that talking, I just made myself a little bit dizzy. All right, gentlemen, the vice president and the president will see them up. Mm. You think the money's in the box? Yeah. All right, all right, don't forget them. Let me do all the talking. I'll just shake your head and try to look smart, isn't it? Hello, gentlemen. I'm Mr. Geyser, president of the aftershoe company, and this is Mr. Perkins, our vice president. Hello. Hello. Why? Why? Why don't you talk about this for me, tell me? You talk, Luigi. I certainly got a laryngeitis. Well, gentlemen, some of the atlas is a shoe company. Come, we've got a new invention that's going to change the whole shoe business. Indeed? What is it? A lifetime of shoelace. What? It lasts for a lifetime? That's right. And if you don't live it that long, Danny, you're going to give it to somebody else. Well, we'd like to see it. Do you have a model with you? Sure, we just are not to know bodies. I'm going to get a model. If that's going to give me, give me the bag. Sure, partner. Well, what's this? What company made this up for you? Oh, we don't trust a no company. That's a handmade. I see. See, black at one end, brown at the other, buy one a shoelace, you set it for life. I see. Well, gentlemen, what do you say? Just a minute. What sort of material would you use? Material. Would you use plastic, rayon, silk, or nylon? Look, you buy the invention, and we don't care if you use a barbed wire. And have you figured out the unit cost of production, including such items as raw material, manufactured later on overhead? Certainly you must have a statistical analysis of the cost of your raw material, the expenditures involved in transporting from the source of supply to the operating plant, the capital outlay necessary for new tools, dies of machinery needed to manufacture. In short, I want a breakdown of your figures. Well, in a short time, I think your figures has got to break it down already. Look, Mr. President, we didn't come here to argue about the expenditures of figures and of statistics. All we want to do is sell the shoelace and take it to check if it goes home. Oh, just a minute, gentlemen. Well, what do you think, truly? You can't be serious. It's preposterous. It seems so, yet you never can tell. What? Well, I remember many years ago how you were against slave shoelace. That was open-toe shoes for women. You said they would never go. Perhaps this is weird, but for a few dollars, we could protect ourselves if anyone else should come along with something like it. You never know. Well, J.B., Gentlemen, we're interested in your invention. You, sir, are the inventor. That's it, I think. How much do you want for it? Fifty. Now, five million dollars. Just a second, gentlemen. My offer is twenty dollars. Well, how's about the one a million? Thirty dollars. Well, we're coming across it together. Thirty-five dollars. A half million. What about pork? I'll give you a third. That's a second. Now, listen, Luigi, you stay out of this in the five seconds or you'll be willing to take anything. Well, that's right, J.B., you don't know how wonderful it is to feel it just as the people who want to buy my own invention. And besides, are you going to get a fifty percent? Is that so? Fifty percent. Look how do you contract. Here. Sure. Sure, I'm going to get a fifty percent and then you'll get the rest. Yeah, take a good look. Is that a percent to sign by the fifty or a dollar sign? What is that? It's a dollar sign. That's right. You get the first fifty dollars and I get the rest. Take the fifty or a million. And I'll have a pretty good a business of that. Gentlemen, gentlemen, let's not argue. I'm willing to come up. How far up? Fifty dollars. That's my last word. That's my last word or two. I'm going to take it. What? I'm still a little better. And a shoelace is in my name. I'm not going to sell you Mr. Shoe Company. Fine. Just assign this release and here's your fifty dollars. There. And a thank you. Wait till you kill the whole deal. I lose the money. No, no, no, no. You're not a pasquale. I wouldn't have let that happen to you. Huh? Because I'm going to have no intervention for you. I'm going to just talk and is it going to make another fortune? Huh? How? I give you a free charge and is it something that's going to change you the whole Italian of the business? What is it? Lifetime of spaghetti. Everything is to come out to find. Company is about to come out to find. Company is about to my lifetime a shoelace and a Yosemite Luigi. He's now an American inventor. Also, I'm going to give a pasquale another wonderful idea. Lifetime of spaghetti two thousand feet long. But I'm not thinking he's going to be able to get a model to show nobody because he's a boiled spaghetti and now he's a kind of tie-up with the pieces of together. Also, roses are helping him and whatever he can tie, she's the eat. The love of the sun and the little immigrant. Friends, the makers of Wrigley Spearmint Chewing Gum hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi and they want to remind you that it's always a good idea to have a supply of Wrigley Spearmint Gum in your home. It's a helpful, delicious treat for you and your family to enjoy and Wrigley Spearmint is always appreciated when you pass it around to your friends. Then too, chewing Wrigley is clean and aids digestion. So you see, Wrigley Spearmint is not only good but also good for you. When you're making up your shopping list this week, remember to include Wrigley Spearmint Chewing Gum. It's inexpensive and it's an ideal taste treat to have handy in your home. The makers of Wrigley Spearmint Chewing Gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Vasco writes another letter to his mama Vasco in Italy. Life with Luigi McBenoch writes the script with Lou Dermot. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Vasco with Alan Reade as Pasquale Jody Gilbert as Rosa Pomp's Conrader Schultz Mary Schiff is misfolding Joe Forte as Horowitz and Ken Peters as old. Music is directed by Lug Rustin Bob Stevenson speaking. This is CBS Columbia broadcasting