 Yeah, we on boss talk one-on-one. Yeah, we gonna talk get your bibles out Let's go you guys all the stuff you've been doing bad stop now Pay attention to the screen. She here. Yeah, this lady right here man. Bless this show last time She was here so much man. I watched that episode. I reclipped it. I resured it I did what they call a flashback. I made sure people understood that this lady this queen was in the building Man, how you doing today? I am doing wonderful. Thank y'all for inviting me. Well, how was that introduction though? Thank you so much for coming man. It's just a blessing to be in Just in the midst of where two or more gathered thou shall be in the mist. He said two or more to a more come on Okay, so therefore God is in here with us. Let's just get usher him on into the room come on in the room That's the way they saying it How you been doing? I mean, you know, you've been through so much man within the last two years, right? The last two years it's been it's been some ups and downs, you know, but you're still here. Praise God You're still here. You know, I thought about it when I invited you. I said man, you know that's one thing about Ruth and Naomi and over and all of them. They they just kept going Uh-huh, and this is the way you have to do sometime God. You can't write this out This is nothing that you can pretty much you it's not sure. It's the Lord's playing. That's right. God's playing That's right. So at the end of the day How are you holding up? I am holding I I am holding it has been a the last two years have been I Don't know. I can't even describe it really. I can't really articulate it Because I have really came out of who I who I thought I was going in And who I am now I would put up a shield I try to be all hard because you know, I got to be hard around E but I would try to be all hard but The more that I've been going through when I'm going through I'm learning that it's okay not to be okay, right? It's okay to let people know that you're struggling Not at all times, but it's okay when you're down to say I'm down and then on those days that you're down Then you get yourself back up and you keep going There have been a many days that I did not feel like getting out of bed I did not feel like being a parent didn't feel like being a pastor didn't feel like being a human But all I could say is but by the grace of God God's strength somewhere along the way I'd get a another fresh wind Somewhere along the way I'd get energy. I would I'd feel like going on My thoughts would be cloudy and then all of a sudden they would be straight And I felt like that through all the pain and trauma that I've been through. I got a purpose Wow, but I just didn't go through it for nothing. I got a purpose. Wow, you know, just just a wonderful thing to know that you you just feel like Going on But you definitely look like a breath of fresh air you you know, you come in you you can tell that you wanted that You understand, you know about self-worth. You understand about Self-healing, you know Along with the healing of God, you know, so that's the good part about it You know that you know the words see there are some out there that don't know the word That's true. And when you don't know it and you don't know your faith You don't even know how to deal with situations that some people would have been in jumped off off a bridge We I had one guy in here say his mother jumped off the bridge when she was pregnant I it's some crazy stuff can go on, you know, I mean and and he's still Here, you know, and it's just things like that that make you know that people that don't understand the word Sometimes don't know how to function in the midst of things, you know, and even when you do it's not easy It's not easy because you can know the word and not know how to process it in your life, right, right, right? And you know, it's a difference It's a difference in knowing the word and it and in making it real using it because you can know the word You can study the word all day. You could go to Bible class Bible school, but applying it and using it is totally different Because like when that trauma hits you or that situation comes up You could say well, I know what I would have told John or I know what I would have told Betty But Anita what you gonna do about it. Mm-hmm. So how you gonna walk this thing out? According to God's word God's will and God's way. How you gonna do this? It's a step-by-step process It's a day-by-day moment by moment It's a trial and error to if the truth be told because we all fall down But we got to get back up a man because the way how you supposed to lead your life you lead your life Not always telling people what to do is people look at your life You know because you can tell somebody all day long and they're not gonna do it because a lot people feel like well You haven't been through you don't know what I'm feeling So God put us through certain things to equip us to be able to say well, I went through this right? this is what I did or For while you're going through it People are watching you go through something and knew that you lost your your husband and stuff like that and how all of a sudden They can't find you and then all of a sudden you reappear and you have this strength about you But some days that you're down and they can see it but you're back up So they know it's an everyday struggle and you're not giving up But you're able to you know fess up to the fact that just like you say I'm not okay. Some days that I'm not Just saying that I'm perfect right a lot of people do walk like they're perfect Yeah, and will not admit some of their downfalls You know what I mean because they don't want to be looked upon in a certain way because they're men pleasers really That's how you look at people like that right then they're not really walking as they should So that's how I look on you know certain situations, and that's really good. I like that because I This is one of the things that I I that I had to grow to That it's nothing nothing can beat your experience. We can do opinions all day long, but that experience It's an anointing with that experience because if you can make it I can make it if I can make it you can make it But if you're just telling me you can make it I'm like did you go through losing a husband or a mother and a sister now I lost my dog Well, that's not the same thing is losing a person that you woke up with every day and and a sister who you called on A phone every day and a mother who birthed you so it's our our our experiences Helps us and it helps us to grow and so doing these last two years I Have came out of my shell. I'm still coming out of my shell I'm not I never wanted to be in front of the cameras or the one that you know I'm always working behind the scenes and their God is like removed every almost everything around me just kind of like Okay, you were back here now You're up here right and so And and you're gonna have to walk the walk accordingly Even even as I'm walking in pain and walking openly. God is saying I got you Like I'm using the word. I will never leave you nor forsake you So he's he's he's showing me that and it's a difference in hearing it because I would hear it all time Okay, God, you know, you didn't believe me forsake me but then when your mother is gone when your husband is gone when your Sister who you've depended on after your mother and your husband left which my sister my husband died 77 days apart So it's like, okay, you don't have nobody else but to depend on God And so it's one of those it's one of those experiences that you learn and that you grow from Man, you know, I Know things where we were in the same place and I thought about you Not being with the one that you had always been with Being at these functions being at the gala being at that movie premiere and then Bishop Omar being in the movie And I had you on my mind Because I can be doing a million things but God be talking to me about individuals in Circumstances that people are going through because of the way that I feel for people that I care about people that I love And it was just something for me to see you still coming to those functions and but the but but him being just like Coretta Scott King was where Martin Luther King continued to be magnified while she had to stay the course and live through though Even though now she's passed on that was a time when I thought about her the same way and And and he a monuments going up and streets going up and him not being there But her at the time she having children and everything else with him the same way that you're dealing with You know dealing with things and pushing on so How was it? You know actually being in these places and being in him not being there. How were you able to cope? Wow Quite frankly at first. I didn't want to be at the places. I Had a hard time seeing couples at a hard time seeing families Because we had a family we were a family and so I would sit there and even going to church I would be mad at families in church And so but God had to touch me and heal my heart and so when I begin to go out on the different Galas and the different events I would sit there and I would think about the times that we would get dressed up And so it was just memories started coming but they were happy memories So I was able to embrace that and then I was surrounded by so much love When I tell you I have not walked this walk by myself at all. I have not. I have a huge village Different ones calling texting at different times. And so I do truly think that but just me Being in that place and I know that I wanted to represent my husband my beloved husband I want to represent him and I want to represent him well wherever I go for have a long that I can