 When the narcissist sees this, it will destroy them. Towards the end of your relationship, the narcissist made you feel like you weren't good enough. Nothing you did was enough for the narcissist. They invalidated you. They made you feel like you would never be good enough for anyone or anything. And once they had secured their next source of supply, they were out of there. They left you to deal with the consequences of their actions. They moved on to this new source of supply. You may have been able to observe their new situation. And it may have seemed like they are so much happier with this new person. It may seem like they are so much happier without you. But this is all part of the illusion. It is designed to fool you as well as their new supply. It is designed to make it look like you were the problem. And now that they have left you, everything is going well for them. Because they know that you are still hurting. They know that you are going to be confused after everything they did to you. They know that you are going to be looking for answers. So they have already orchestrated everything for you to produce their desired effect. The narcissist wants to have an effect on you. They want to leave a lasting impression. They want to make you feel like you are missing out on something. As though you should have done more of them. Or as though you are just not enough. Because that is exactly how they feel inside. They felt like you were greater than them. Which is why they worked so hard to put you beneath them. Their self-worth and self-esteem is dependent on how you feel about yourself. So they have to trick you into seeing yourself as less than you actually are. So that they can elevate themselves at your expense. Once the narcissist has discarded you, they move on to their new supply. They try to make it look like they are having a good time. They try to make it look like they are so much happier without you. But it isn't real. It is just an illusion. Just as it was when they were with you. When you first met them, you thought everything was great. You thought you had met this ideal character who was everything you could have wanted and desired. But that was until you got to know the real person beneath the mask. That was until you realised how damaged they really are. They tricked you. They led you to believe that they were this happy, carefree character. When really, they were the exact opposite of that. Narcissists are ready of a happy. They can never be satisfied with anything. And they cannot deal with stress. So they could never be the person that you wanted them to be. The person that you thought they were. This person who was supposed to be happy and carefree. They displayed that to you because they knew it was what you wanted to see. But that wasn't who they really are. It was designed to deceive you so that they could secure you as their source of supply. Which is the same thing that they are doing with their new supply. It's an orchestration. They know how to coordinate the elements of a situation to produce a desired effect. But it isn't real. It's just designed to fool you. It's designed to make you believe it's something that it's not. Because they know what you would want it to be. But they know that they don't have the qualities, abilities or resources. To sustain this over a long period of time. Narcissists will give you a short burst of whatever they think you would to see. But then it soon fades away. And they have to get out of there before you figure them out. Before you begin to catch on. They cannot remain around you once you know what they're really about. They will only give you snippets. But even then it's only about supply. They have no empathy. They cannot share their experience. Although it may look like the narcissist is happier with a new supply. It is just an orchestration. It's designed to fool you. And the love bombing phase is short lived. It isn't long until the narcissist devalues them. Until they go from seeing them as someone who is perfect. To then seeing them as being completely flawed. They have to see people in this way in order to function. They have a black and white mentality. Where people are either all good or all bad. You're either on their side or you're against them. And once the narcissist starts to devalue their new supply. There is a possibility that they may be looking for you. They may re-idealise you. And try to get you back. They may try to hoover you. And when they hoover you. They're hoping that you've just been waiting on them. Narcissists expect people to wait around. They're delusional. And they lack object constancy. Whenever you're not around them. They assume that you're not doing anything. They assume that you're just waiting in the wings until they return. So when they do return to you. They're expected to finish where they left off. They're expected for things to go back to normal. They're not even thinking that you may have moved on. They're not even thinking that you may have other commitments. They're expecting you to be waiting around for them. Because maybe that's just what they've experienced with past sources of supply. They swooped in. And got everything they wanted from them. And then tossed them aside. While the supply was just waiting there. They were just waiting for them to return. And Narcissists will base the current situation. On the past success of their manipulation. They will assume that it's just going to play out in the same way again. They will assume that you're still going to be waiting for them. But if you've moved on. And built a life for yourself outside of them. It will destroy them. It will ruin them emotionally. Because in their minds. You're just this object that is supposed to wait on the self. You're supposed to wait around until they're ready to play with you again. You're not supposed to have a life of your own. Your life is meant to revolve around them. It's the mentality of a child. And they see you as their parent. They see it as though you've abandoned them. As though you've betrayed them. They have abandonment issues. Due to the abuse or neglect that they experienced in their childhood. But because of their stunted development. They never look at their own actions. They don't look at it as though they left you first. Although if that bothered you. They will take pride and satisfaction in that. But they're not going to entertain the idea. That it was something they did wrong. They have to see it as though they got rid of the problem. And now they're doing this honourable thing by returning to you. As though you should see that as a privilege. Despite all the horrible things they've done to you. They expect you to see it the same way. And they expect you to be waiting around for them. They're not expecting to see that you have progressed. They're not expecting to see that you have moved on with your life. And become successful. But if that's what they see when they return to you. It will destroy them. It will cause them to feel regret. It will cause them to think that maybe they made the wrong decision. And a narcissist cannot entertain that idea for long periods of time. If they see that you have moved on without them. It threatens their false self. It makes them feel foolish. So to resolve these painful emotions. They will attack you. They will try to steal from you. They will sabotage your success. They will start a smear campaign. They want to destroy everything that you have created. They want to destroy everything that has made them feel so small. Everything that has made them feel like they made the wrong decision by leaving you. The last thing the narcissist wants to see when they return is a strong confident individual. A proud, happy and successful person. They do not want to see that. They want to see you broken and destroyed. They want you to wait around for them for the rest of your life. They don't want you to go anywhere. They don't want you to progress. Because the more that you progress the more difficult it is for them to control you. They want to keep you down. They want to keep you under their control. When they were with you they led you to believe that you weren't good enough for them. They led you to believe that that was a problem. But that's exactly what they want. They want to hold you back. They want to keep you down. Because that gives them the ability to control you. That gives them influence and authority over you. The last thing they want to see is you becoming a strong confident and successful person. Because then that would mean that you have the authority. That would mean that they can no longer control you. And if a narcissist has no control over you you are no longer a good source of supply. For them to gain control over you they have to cause you to lose control of yourself. And then keep you in that condition where you cannot recover. Where you cannot grow or develop into what you are meant to be. They don't want you to transform into a butterfly. They want you to remain a caterpillar for the rest of your life. And if they come back and they see that you've managed to build a life for yourself you've managed to grow your wings fly away and build your nest. They will destroy your nest. They will rip off your wings. They will push back your development. They will push back your success. Whenever a narcissist comes around you that's all they're ever going to do. They're only ever going to push you back in life because that makes them feel more comfortable. That's what gives them the ability to control you. That's what keeps you as their source of supply. So when the narcissist sees that you have moved on and you're happy without them it will destroy them. They're not going to be happy for you because they never wanted you to move on in the first place. They want to keep you stuck. They want to remain relevant in your life. They want to remain significant. When they see that you're happy without them in their minds that's an offence. You're deliberately trying to hurt them. So now they will do whatever they think will hurt you. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching Inquiries You can email me at CoachingUpNarcSurvivor.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.