 For many of us the first thing that comes to mind when we say the word relationship is romantic relationships, right? We love love in in our modern age and I mean how else would you explain the popularity of shows like The Bachelor, right? Which are all about trying to develop that romantic relationship, right? Or in my house the popularity of the Hallmark Channel and the various TV shows and movies that come along with that They're all seem to be very similar to me But very popular nonetheless because we love romantic relationships So it behooves this to then understand a little better. What is it that makes these romantic relationships? What they are what are some of the different characteristics? How are they similar? How are they different? Where do they come from all those types of things? So in these this video starting with this video and then the next we'll discover What we mean by romantic relationships and what's involved in those types of relationships? So let's start with looking at some of the different characteristics and variances that we see in romantic relationships The first which is exclusivity some relationships will vary or all relationships will vary in the manner of exclusivity Sometimes you're in an exclusive relationship sometimes you're not and and so sometimes that can Can vary in terms of what that means all first of all exclusivity would mean that you are seeing one other person It's you and one other person involved in that relationship and that's it Other times so you're going to see you and one other person and one other person, right? Usually in this and this is not what we called love triangle, right? This is not a triangle because it's really just one person seeing two different people You know person b and person c are not involved apart from their Mutual relationship with with person a now a love triangle would look like this right when you got all three people Or what's now called a threple right three people involved in a relationship? but Sometimes the relationships will vary either intentionally or unintentionally on on the part of both people because they've made a Choice to be exclusive or not be exclusive or sometimes because they've chosen to involve You know one or one or more people in addition to the initial two people So relationships will vary in terms of exclusivity. It's not always the same and not always viewed the same In terms of romantic relationships Another area that may vary where we see some variants in romantic relationships is voluntariness Sometimes you know in our modern age we tend to think of in the western cultures Marriage and relationships are a voluntary thing right? We choose who we're going to be with because we fall in love with that person and things but to be truthful That's really a fairly New idea and the idea that you would choose to marry someone or be with somebody just because you fall in love with them However, you define that even would be Something that 100 years ago 150 years ago here in the united states would have been less common And and still is not as common in other cultures. It just depends on where you're at And uh, so I mean, you know, it may vary in terms of you marry someone because of their their economic prospects In terms of you know, the the ability to to provide stability for yourself and and and for those around you Or it could be because you're merging two different Families together for the the strength that that can provide there could be a lot of different reasons for You know, what we would call involuntary relationship now that does not mean it's wrong though That's not we're not talking here about somebody kidnapping somebody else We're talking about things like arranged marriages and and things that may not be quite as you know These two people are choosing to be together as much as there are other factors involved in and in many cultures That's that's a very common place. It may seem odd to us in most westernized cultures But that doesn't make it wrong. It just makes it different. All right, so relationships will vary in terms of their Voluntaryness Relationships also vary in the nature of love the romantic relationships will vary in the nature of love So, you know, how we define love has changed over time and how we describe love and even the fact that we only have really that one word Anymore to describe love where in other cultures they have different words to describe different kinds of love there would be a love that Describes how you love your spouse and a different kind of love a different word to describe The love you have for your parents or your children or for god or for whatever else So even love the word is different in our culture and and so that we see variances in terms of love And we also see within our culture different types of love that exist in relationships So for example, you have Sternberg's triangular theory of love here is one popular theory of Identifying or looking at love and identifying the differences in the inherent nature of love So you see that in Sternberg's triangular theory of love You've got the three base areas intimacy commitment and passion And then in between there you have all these different things So if you have just intimacy that just means you like the person, right? So intimacy alone just means that you like the person and that's it Commitment means you're committed to that person and passion means you have this infatuation with the person, right? But then when you combine those things you get different outcomes as well combining intimacy and passion You get romantic love combining companion it I'm sorry commitment and intimacy you get companion at love and so forth And in the middle there when you have all three of these areas intimacy passion and commitment Then you see consummate love, right? So there are different types of love though that it can exist in different relationships So even within our this is just within our westernized ideal of love that we see these things, right? So we have the triangular theory of love which is one way of viewing Love in our society and how relationships may vary in the types of love that they that exist there And our love in our culture as well We talk broadly more broadly about love exists existing on a spectrum of what we call passionate love So this is just that infatuation and liking then and companion at love, right? And then when you have the the intersection of those things so you get consummate love but But relationships in our view here in westernized cultures tend to exist on that spectrum between Highly passionate, which is great. You have the high high level of emotion and infatuation But it can burn out, you know that you don't passionate relationships will ebb and flow And so if your relationship exists solely on that passionate love then in those times when it when it ebbs And it's not there strongly there could it could come and tell me when that relationship would end during one of those periods As opposed to companion at love, which is really based on commitment And a will and a desire and a commitment to being together regardless Of any other circumstance and you may not have that emotion that fire that fuels that relationship But you're going to stick together anyway. And again, that's not necessarily entirely healthy You want some of that passion so consummate love then finds its way in the middle there Ideally every relationship would exist somewhere in the middle of those two things where you have Some combination of both passionate and companion at love them, but anyway our relationships will vary in the type and the The strength of the different types of love that you may experience in that relationship They also vary in terms of sexuality In our modern society, obviously we recognize that we have heterosexual relationships and homosexual relationships And everything kind of in between there right some that are that involve some nature of both as well as asexual relationships Which involve really a lack of of sexual interest and and connection. You have those kinds of romantic relationships as well So they're going to vary in terms of sexuality in the way we approach sexuality and then within that How much of a factory is sexuality in that relationship? Is it a really? strong and important part of that relationship or is it you know Hey and not an unimportant part of the relationship, but less Is the relationship built on other things apart from that more so but So relationships are going to vary in across all spectrums Of sexuality and how we look at sexuality within that relationship They also vary in terms of permanence. You know some relationships So we first we think every relationship is going to last forever. That's the reason we enter it We wouldn't enter a relationship probably with the idea that's going to be temporary But but they are sometimes right so you have some relationships that that exist forever Right the year of these wonderful lovely old couples that are elderly couples that are together for a long time My parents have been married for more than 60 years, which is amazing and and and so you have this sense of permanence there This idea of permanence, but other relationships Aren't going to last and and go the distance So relationships are going to vary in fact most of us will have several relationships in our lifetimes that aren't permanent before we perhaps get to the one that is permanent So we're going to likely experience all of these types of things in terms of permanence as well So we can see the relationships exist on all different Levels and different have different aspects to them So We're going to have these romantic relationships and they're all going to be different Every relationship that we have is going to be different let alone the relationships that other people are Are having so we want to get out of the mindset of thinking of romantic relationships Just as we see that in the hallmark Channel and those are wonderful movies and they have a great message But love isn't always like the romantic relationships don't always end up like that and so we need to be prepared to appreciate and engage in romantic relationships In all of the different ways and across all those different factors and characteristics If you have questions about the nature of romantic relationships or anything else related to interpersonal communication Please feel free to email me. I'd love to hear from you there In the meantime, I hope that you will have a better understanding of your romantic relationships or potential romantic relationships And the different factors and characteristics and variances that exist within them