 So you would need some, you know, have you ever been tased, Mr. Cornwood? I'm doing I'm doing fantastic. Just you're checking out the uh making sure the people here being careful being nobody's getting too rowdy now Anyway, listen, are you you plan on doing any gambling? No, I'm on the job here. So I don't know if I have much time You're on the job. Get the fuck out. What are you? So your security then? Yeah, yeah, you never you never take a sip on the job just like I mean, look listen if if things don't get too uh Two out of hand here, then you know, I might get a little uh game or two wins, but I got that good shit right now What do you mean? I mean, you're just gonna have to try and trust me. It's only a hundred bucks Okay, you might want to take it before things get too crazy. Let me see what you got here I can't you got to give me a hundred bucks. It's good shit. I'm a bartender here. I'm employed here too I'm not gonna rip you off 100 dollars Yeah, a hundred bucks. Trust me. I guarantee it's gonna be worth your time If it is not I will fully reimburse you I am employed here. The name is Carlos Sanchez. I'll be honest with you. I only got 52 dollars on me I got to get myself to a uh, listen, listen, what's your name? Cletus cornwood All right. Cletus cornhole. I'm gonna give you one drink Okay on the house All right. I like the smell of that There you go The hell is this absinthe? No, no, don't read the don't read the label. It's called top shelf top shelf. Okay. Yeah, listen. It's not that Listen, just take a little something to take the nerves off. Go ahead. Okay. You think I should go ahead and use it now? Drink it now. I would definitely use it right now. You know, you're gonna want to get feeling pretty good. All right, we're gonna go ahead and You know, it's like too bad Yeah, it's good a little strong Oh, I know our motherfucker. Well, what the hell? What? The hell is going on? What the hell? I can't I'm barely see a damn thing You should go gamble now that you're feeling real good and lickered up. Beaches, thank you You changed your looks a bit Maybe if you fix your your mask a little bit. Oh, yeah I think it might be if you're fixing your mask a little bit. Let's look around The hell? How long does this last? Are you gonna break that? So I'm just checking the structural integrity of the The building Oh, be somebody doing it Ma'am Ma'am ma'am. Do you uh, do you have a crowbar on your persons? We seem to have received reports that uh, That was a complete accident. I was uh, trying to fiddle with something else I'm trying to feel something else now, huh? Yeah, if you need to remove it off of me, that's perfectly fine All I'm saying is, you know, you know me pulling this out can be an accident too, couldn't it? I actually can't see whatever. Oh Yeah, pardon pardon me. That was lately not my intention All right, just be careful now, ma'am. Just be careful and keep your uh, keep your hands and feet to yourself, ma'am Well, I will 100% mind my own Absolutely What was your name, sir? Cornwood Sheriff Cornwood Nice to meet you. I'm uh, Jance. I'm one of the managers over at Hayes Auto Oh, okay. Well, force of habit Have a crowbar on me, unfortunately Well, ma'am, I don't uh, I don't bl- Hold on. Hold on. Do you hear that? Ma'am, ma'am, get your head down. Get your head down right now. Quick Quick quick quick quick. Careful Come with me. What was that? No, you're safe. You're safe. I thought they could hear us. It's fine. You're, you're everything's okay. Okay. Well, you best be on your way now, ma'am All right. Well, I thank you very much, sir, for your protection. Absolutely Well, yo, what the hell happened here? Son, son. Hey, what the hell happened here? Sir, did you see what happened here? Uh, yeah, it was a blatant case of assault. Some man, you know, he had a bag on his back and he just Picked that guy and then ran out the door. Just see what he looked like Um, I will one thing No, however, somebody did leave a fucking dead animal carcass here on the ground. We're starting to reap Thing as well You have to queue up. Oh, well, yeah, this is bear pelt. Okay. Yeah, I go ahead and take this Look at that Jimmy. Jimmy, is it Jimmy? Maybe Jimmy, yeah Timmy's in the wheelchair, Jimmy. I love just walking up and pulling out a notepad. I think it's so funny Jimmy Yeah, he's yeah, Jimmy's great big fan. Uh, mr. Clitters, can I help you? Just taking notes Notes of what his name is mr. Clitters No, cletus cletus cornwood. It's clitoris. All right, sheriff cletus cornwood sheriff. You're a sheriff. Yeah Former you were that's right. That's why I showed up a police officer. Okay. You need to keep the firearm holster You know the rules. Well, see i'm from texas, you know, we got open carry see the gun on my hip. That's open carry Yep That's open holster. That's open carry open carry. I believe that's open holster See how I don't see your firearm right now. Now that's concealed. That has been sealed You have a license for that weapon dresser. Can they see it mr. Clitters? Yeah, it's right here. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, we don't want to see the Oh, no, I thought I thought they wanted to see it. No, you're your license Oh my license I trip trying to try to put my hand in my bag Uh, really it's fine. It's not a big deal. I can I can take it You okay, mr. Whipple you can be a band-aid or something. No, it'll be fine. Just it just builds his character. He's fine It's ain't the first time that happened once you bring your old ass in on a ride along So you can see what police actually do in this century not something from 1962 I mean, I got plenty of experience, but uh, I think I could come uh, bestow some of my knowledge upon you We've got a packed house in this car But uh, you'll you'll fit in. Oh, I'll probably fit just fine. I don't think it'll be too too much of an issue This is our vehicle right here, but we're gonna clear the parking lot real quick and then we'll head out back to the street All right. Okay. You need me to clear the parking lot Sir, mr. Cornwood, I need you to keep the gun in your fucking holster, please Okay, I thought you wanted me to clear the parking lot when I said clear the parking lot What did you think that meant to get rid of the people here? Okay, we're gonna shoot them No, of course not But they don't know that your gun for Well, they don't know I ain't gonna shoot them Yeah, we can't do that. It's 2021 that that's frowned upon. Okay Damn Maybe in texas back some pictures when you you know You put a police in that might have worked, but not today. It just ain't what you used to be You know what I'm saying they don't show the proper respect no more Yeah, they don't they don't really respect this no more. So you got to play nice nice cop all the time Yeah Anyway, uh, this is uh trooper copper over here. She's gonna be uh riding with us as well or she's gonna be actually be driving And you have a cadet in the vehicle as cadet. Lenny hockey's uh running around the parking lot doing some flying police work right now Okay, very good. I'm trooper. Tony angers. I don't know if I fully introduced myself Absolutely All right now's to officially meet you try not to shoot anybody pull your gun on anybody. Okay I think the safety is on I think the safety is It's probably it's probably on you want to see no What kind of gun is that? Isn't it cold? Yeah, let's go see what miss coppers doing. Absolutely. How you doing collater? She stayed out of trouble I'm doing just fine, sir Ah, good to see you good buddy. Absolutely All right, I'm gonna get out of this fucking school zone fucking best Are you having a nice day now? Oh, he's yelling for me Sorry, I couldn't hear you. His uh his car was too damn loud. All right, mr. Cornwood. We're gonna once we get out of here We're gonna go down the pd. I'm gonna get you a radio so you can hear our radio Just wanted to say keep up the great streams and thanks for being a friend. I can just keep the gun holster, please. Absolutely The archer already Dude, corn, what is that statement? Yeah, mr. Copper Retired sheriff cornwood here is gonna be coming on a ride along with us Okay, he's just horrible at listening to the radio 567 215. We got a we got a 1074 over on the uh A lot of bobby Reminds you at a lot of what? of bobby When he was first at cadet Good cop, but uh very situationally unaware 238, what do you need me now? You guys ready to roll out? Yes, sir Here, I just real quick. I gotta I gotta take care of something here real quick You're fine Thank you for certainly I actually gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be right back quickly. Yeah, cletus. Are you peeing on this tree? Yeah, that's a heavy stream there. My boy. Look at the power Pressure washing the bark right off that thing What are you doing? I think he's pressure washing this tree Are you cheering him on? Look at him. He's doing great. The bark's coming right off of it All right, cletus. Have a good one. It was a pleasure to see you want to grab the carlini outstanding job Wait, is this fat guy coming with us? Yeah, all right. Hey, my name's kenny hawk or linny hawk. Good to meet you. You know I'm shaking your hand. No, nice to meet you son. Nice to meet you Kenny. You see from rust island Yeah, Lenny you do realize he was just pissing on a tree and he didn't wash his hands, right? Yep. Nope. It's fine. I got I got listen. I'm gonna be honest with you. I got me a clean deck You'll see what we deal with on a day to day here Yeah, you can't just go and fucking pull a gun on everybody you want on the regular ass car stop. Mr. Cornwood Well, how else are you gonna get them to comply? Use your mouth the most powerful tool Well, my mouth's a powerful tool. I'll tell you what it's a good phrasing Andrew's nice Who said that shakespeare, sir? That was beautiful. Well, we gotta fix the car already because uh, miss copper hit everything Well, I'll be honest with you. I can uh, I think I got me a repair kit right here I think I might be able to do the repairs myself here do a 1048 right here on the road What exactly is the 1048? It's a standard traffic repair Yeah, I'm checking. I'm so I've got a whole bunch of flashcards in my vest. I'm pulling it out and I'm looking through them right now and uh Yep, that is indeed a standard traffic repair, sirs. Is it really? Oh, yes, sir cornwood that You're impressive, you know the knowledge don't leave me After 20 years, it's like riding a bicycle. I'm gonna be honest. We could use a man lick you on the floor All right, copy that. Thank you All right, mr. Cornwood, let's get you set up with the radio. Uh, what's your uh, your driver's license number? Um state ID is 3420 3420 Yep, I need you to follow me this way mr. Cornwood if you guys want to wait in the car or come at it It doesn't matter. I'm just gonna grab him a radio and get him uh set up with that Uh-huh. Hey mr. Cornwood before you go. Do you know what a code five is? Oh, absolutely the copper. He's gonna tell me what a code five is A code five or a 10 five? Code five code five code five is a stakeout. Is it? Yep I'm asking copper. I don't actually know it's a stakeout Whoa Yep, this guy knows everything like I Sorry, I had something in my throat like I said this kind of knowledge. Don't just leave me Uh, 215 we'll grab you somewhere here at uh, make sure the sandwich doesn't water okay Quiet quiet quiet quiet quiet. Did y'all hear that? Did y'all hear that? Quick, hide hide hide. Keep your hands down. Keep your hands down All right, coast is clear coast is clear. All right, very good coast is clear coast is clear You're not doing a very good job of hiding this copper I just want to let you know that any average criminal would not look at me on the ground Or any average police officer. I'm perfectly hidden. How do y'all? How's it going? How's it going sir? Well, we'll try to send some criminals your way All right. I appreciate that. Yeah, thank you trooper. Andrews. Have a great ass day Hey, this is Mr. Cornwood. Nice to meet you miss lewd. What kind of what kind of country name is that? What was the country origin for the name lewd? No, no, it's it's because that ass landic Anyway, this is Mr. Cornwood's gonna come on the ride along with us. It's it's no, it's uh, it's it's everly Claire everly Yeah, that's what I said miss lewd. Anyway, mr. Cornwood I'm gonna need you to pick out the everly or kick out the the sign in book right here Oh Yeah, I just need you to swipe your key card right here and then I need you to take a peek into this notebook right here Sign away. Let me see. Uh Also, I need you to sign this form. It just says, you know, if you get Or anything, it's not more not viable Okay Where else are you looking at the book? I should say something like duty action Well, I just I just signed my name all over the place. You did all that. That's a 10 41 Okay, that's exactly what happened. All right. All right. I'm gonna give you this Yeah There's a radio. I'll go get another one in a second. Wait, so did cornwood just accidentally become police officer go into your phone and uh, uh sign a key Or radio on or off. I believe it's what it's called Okay All right now we didn't have any damn fan dangled fancier technology over on the island dispatch radio check and to You're that Uh, that's a 10 to But you heard that I did All right Dispatch for 2010 30 white and color alpha southbound meteor street If you're 20 get a marking that's 10 38 with one white and color sedan occupied times one at 1205 Can you play it ran? Let me on it Oh copy Oh, this way When I just locked that door behind you, what the hell are we gonna do? All right, we're gonna stand here. It looks stupid until 238 215 This car that just went by right there. Just call him and tell us come back towards supply street 238 through and one that she's grabbing food Right west bound to switchy boulevard. All right trooper. I'm gonna teach you how to do things my way Okay, come on. I'm pushing mission OPD. What do you mean your way? Trust me. We we gotta defend the law. Okay And sometimes you gotta break the law to defend the law mr. Cornwell, we're not gonna commandeer a vehicle We gotta commandeer this vehicle right here Vehicle spun out with it now he's found through the fleek and bank parking. Oh come don't worry. Are you sure? Exiting on to this Right north I'm sure I'm gonna go ahead and take care of this real quick and we won't We can't we can't take it. We can't take it. We'll be good. Okay fine Going through the other parking Oh, no, oh my oh my elbow went right through the windshield Damn Well, I mean it's already Listen son, you got a lot to learn when you're with me trust me Yes, we fine. Okay, which way are we headed? Howdy? We had to come and we had to commandeer this vehicle. Oh, did you yep for police work? All right, where do you guys go? Don't tell me he stumbled over a dull parrow. He's found through Are we doing this Tuesday? Let's go. All right. We're you about driving Radio if we end up taking it I'm too damn old for this shit. Let me tell you So they lost a visual and they're looking for the car. Okay. Sorry those stands Used to like detonate if you bumped into Oh I'm all good Sorry, I used to use one of these damn fandagled radios. We didn't have none of these over on the island That's the reason you you fell out of the car. It's because of your radio here I'm gonna keep your lights on we're gonna code six kill kill. I got my gun on me I hope they let me keep my radio because that'll be really really funny If they let me keep my radio and I'm just responding to police calls At two fifteen to Kenny will come get you in a second. Okay Oh Oh boy. Oh I just Actiles copper. Are you ready for this? Yeah, it's gonna be tight back there. All right. We gotta we gotta fit one more in here All right, give me a second. I'm gonna Yeah, we gotta fit one more back here. Is that okay with you mr. Cornwood? Absolutely here. I'll be incognito. Do not get in the truck You got in the trunk. I don't want you to get stuck back there. I'll be fine. Hey, I'll be fun. I'll be fine. I'll be The hell had he opened this thing. All right, I'm fine. I'm fine. See I can get out absolutely Kenny hop in Okay, I was reading the blind kids It was good as usual. I'm glad I could help them. How has today been so far today has been strange Unfortunately, one of the seven deadly sins is currently being represented by way of the diamond casino opening Let me guess great. How are you doing today, Kenny? God, how are you doing? Brothers She builds on did you pay for us? Do you want me to right now, please? Okay, let me give me a protective Hey man Sonny's thinking in tongues. Yes, it's a pentacon Protection I think what I'm gonna do with cornwood I'm gonna try and he's gonna pull out his gun and if we have a chance to stop the people running from us I'm gonna try and shoot out their tires Right by upper pill box Like we can Put the fucking gun away Keep it Let me just fix your uh your suspenders here on my suspenders broke. I'll go ahead and take care of that former think Thank you, son. I like that. I like the respect y'all show me here the uh nowadays these kids. They don't know Okay, they don't know who's who's been working and what all they've earned. You know what I'm saying I respect my elders mr. Uh All right, let's get out of here. All right, let's do it now Brother assorted means of bodily harm upon myself and my fellow officers of mr. Cornwood I would like to thank you also for the grub earlier. Thank you Jesus. Amen Thank you for not letting my brother become a 1047. Amen All right, what cornwood you want to grab copper? Don't touch me. All right. That sounds fine. Ma'am. I wouldn't think about touching you ma'am Send it for 202 if you can indicate within your report that uh So we're gonna go over the same two hundred twelve dollars worth of damage escorting And placing into a car. Okay. Okay. Who wants to be the the the scumbag criminal first? All right, so copper and Kenny I guess you're too late criminal. Okay, so you're gonna Yeah, she's gonna be your criminal. Okay. Okay, and then Kenny you're gonna be Lenny's uh criminal first and then we'll We'll reverse the rules. Okay. Okay. So I need you to stand in front of your your respective officer, please criminals Yep, and then officers you're gonna ask your suspect to turn around place their hands behind their back. Go ahead Wait Actually say it. Hold on. Where the hell's my where the hell's loose legal? What the hell happened? What you mean, brother? What happened to my coat? What happened to my gun? How else am I gonna get you to put how else am I gonna put the fear gun in your heart? Your body and your voice Okay, well, let's try this. Okay. Okay, ma'am turn around I think you should have been a little bit harder. What the hell see this is why I need this is why this is why I need my gun You don't need no seal. That's why I need my gun Look at the disrespect you see this raise your voice mr. Cornwood raise your voice go ahead look It's ma'am. Please turn around it smells like show me your your backside. I'm in cuffs. See what the hell is this? It's a man like me Take my knife too. Nope. You don't got the knife either Ma'am ma'am, please turn around Look at me in my eye This cornwood, I know you you could have yelled louder than that. I mean come on. You please back You want to get arrested by the police? All right, mr. Cornwood, I'm gonna need you to flex your your up button on your d-pad. I don't want you to be I don't know. There it is. Okay. Yeah Have you been with where there you go? So let's walk them over to the car mr. Cornwood. You can do yours first Walk them over to the back of the car You don't you don't have to get in the car just turn around there you go And you let her go You could put people directly in from yeah, yeah, I'm gonna just have them search you real quick Just don't don't take any of my gun and he's gonna use it Actually, I actually was gonna do that, but now I don't want to do that. Don't take her gun No, sir. I would not I would never do such a thing. I would never do that. Oh, Jesus You did that So mr. Cornwood, I'm gonna need you to go directly behind her. Okay, you're gonna probably want to Mr. Cornwood, I'm inhaling through my nose What does it smell like? You smell like No, I did not I did not take her gun. I did not okay. Okay. We'll see okay Look, we're gonna have a trustless exercise and like I said, I don't forgive and I don't forget Yes, you put her gun back if you took it Uh She has a very sketchy past The fuck does that mean what? Coppers is the cleanest of clean way All right Okay The nas is my middle name. Okay, I worked very quickly like I said earlier So I just want to make sure I can figure things out So you would need to you know taze them you ever been tased mr. Cornwood You know what? So, yeah, once you have somebody on the effect of the taser then you can you can go you can go in handcuffs Okay