 Right you lot what is going on welcome back to another video we are in a place that well some of you might know most of you won't but this is called Littleton we're down at the waterfront you can see the hills in the background there's that's actually a big volcano crater that goes completely around the whole thing and there's loads of houses up on the hill and this my friends this is why I've got the camera out is the Littleton recreation ground or the rec ground or in other words my first my first rugby club my first rugby union club Littleton the Littleton dolphins and I can see down there on the post there is blue and yellow on the posts and those are the old colors the old Littleton dolphin colors and tell you what guys I haven't been down here for about eight years nothing's changed a lot of stuff happened down in these grounds not just rugby games every weekend or every second weekend there was school athletics there was school sports tournaments there was the Cubs which is Cub Scouts which was just over there the hall was over there we used to come down here and do our physical things physical activities sports games I played soccer whilst I was still in Christchurch but I didn't play for the Littleton team they had a social team on Sundays but I wanted to play competitively so I played for a team called fairy meat bays which is just over the hill and fuck man I've been looking forward to coming down here for a while this video I'm not sure what it's going to be titled but I do I guess I want to discuss some things around this YouTube channel and around my football journey so I thought coming down to the sports field would be fitting I tried to write down exactly what I wanted to talk about you know sometimes I get disappointed that I've finished off a video and I haven't actually mentioned what I wanted to say so first thing I want to mention is where is this football journey going literally where is it going because if I'm not able to tell you that now after we've been on it for about 18 months I probably never will so there's a certain thing that I did before leaving to come on this small trip and that was to get in touch with the NFL International Scouting Combine once again I found out that it was being held in Germany this year on October the 16th which is not far away at all so about two or three weeks ago I put together an application got in touch with PSM which is Pacific Sports Management which manage a lot of NRL players they manage any of the Australian NFL players Jordan Milata Valentine Homes I think they managed Jared Hayne when he went over there and basically they they are effectively my agent at the moment I haven't paid them anything we haven't talked about anything but all they did was forward on my application to attend this Combine to the NFL now three weeks have passed I've emailed them back once and I haven't heard anything so at this current moment I guess I'm not good enough they don't want me to come to the Combine which is fine now previous to putting that application in I was down in Melbourne about to play American football for the Monash Warriors and the first thing I want to say is what a great bunch of guys they really welcome me in to the team and I felt like felt like one of the team from the start I really did gave my allegiance to the team was all ready to play did my first scrimmage went to a few trainings literally a couple of days before I was meant to play my first game I went and trained with Prokik now if you don't know Prokik is an academy here in Australia that works with X Rugby X AFL players basically X you know sportsmen from Australia that want to play their trade at being a kicker or a punter for an American football college team now the main thing that people are looking for with going through this program is to get the education and the experience but you know some of these guys are going to div two schools some of them are going to I guess the lesser of the div one schools so I guess I had to come to terms with that and oh this is better lighting you know the main reason why I went with them is because I thought fuck this could get me in the NFL this could open up doors in the industry I wasn't really focusing on that four years of study to get that degree you know five years ago six years ago eight years ago when I left university for the first time I decided I wasn't going to study I decided it wasn't going to be for me so when Prokik came along and I've been entertaining the idea for the last 12 18 months I guess I had to really decide whether I did want to want to study and I did want to sacrifice these four or five years and I still don't know but the way I'm thinking at the moment is that no I can't sacrifice that time away from my kids that's what I'm thinking as far as pro kit goes now pro kit came along three or four days before I was meant to play my first game for the Monash Warriors and they told me that we wouldn't recommend you play for that team number one we don't allow anyone who's training with any other teams or any other sports to to train with our academy because of the risk of injury which is fine the second thing that told me which really threw me was that if I do play one game for this Monash Warriors team it's going to sacrifice a whole year worth of eligibility at college so I was going to go for it from a possible five year recruit with my first year being redshirted to a four-year recruit or actually three years of eligibility to play so that threw me out and I was like well you know do I play this one or two games down in Melbourne and sacrifice a whole year worth of eligibility and also make my chances of being recruited to a good school lesser you know is it worth it and so all of that shit going on I decided you know what I'm not gonna do either right now I need to go and see my kids at that point I wasn't communicating with them up in up in Alice and I decided to leave Melbourne before doing either pro kick or playing for Monash and that's what happened man I left I'd bought a car I was about to move into a flat and I thought nah man this is just not right it's not the right time I don't know what I want to do so I went back to Alice started making hope a whole heap of YouTube content which you guys have seen finished off the top 100 list which you guys will see in one video we've got one player to go guys Aaron Donald we've also got one player to go in my top 10 all blacks of all-time list which is Jonah Lomber so I really hope you enjoy those two videos I believe I believe I'm an athlete I believe I believe if I thought it was gonna be as important to me as it is now sport the realm of professional sport I probably would have tried to become a professional athlete but I didn't and I guess the chance to become one came into my life again about 18 months ago with this whole journey into American football the chance I thought maybe I can make it as a kicker but then I you know I have to be honest with myself if I'm gonna play a game of football and just kick a ball six or seven times a fucking game and not be able to run with the ball not be able to tackle not be able to do anything else that really doesn't interest me that much I've got to be honest I'm just kicking the fucking ball I can't even duke anyone I can't bowl anyone I can't tackle anyone I can't do shit the only thing I'd be looking forward to is kicking the ball having a return and trying to hit the returner and the more the more football I watch or especially in the NFL they don't even return the ball it's either a fair catch they leave it or it's a touchback I mean am I delusional in thinking that I'm not sure so anyway decided not to play for Monash decided not to go to Pro Kick decided to come back to Alice and re-establish this relationship with my kids which I did it's been an amazing time it's been really good I've taken this two weeks to come back to Christchurch to really decide what I want to do and you know as well as that guys I had at the start of this year I had two mortgages five credit cards a business I was trying to start a YouTube channel that was taking up all of my time I had to work my day job which is stressful I had to try and look after Tate I moved to Cairns all in the middle of that I have had a whole fucking lot going on and only now in early October am I feeling like I might actually have it under control I've had to pay a whole heap of debt back this year launching my clothing line was one of the best things I've ever done one of the most rewarding things I've ever done but it was also one of the most expensive things I've ever done I made loads of financial costly mistakes and so it put me in a hole had five credit cards I've finally paid them all off to do that I've had to sell one of my properties I only have one property now some of you may know I own one in the Gold Coast and I own one in Alice so I've only got one in Alice now I've got rid of the credit cards rid of one mortgage that is six payments every single pay that I had to make that I don't have to think about now and it's a huge weight off my shoulders so right now guys financially I'm looking better than I was although I don't have any spare money the only reason why I'd taken all of these trips in the past all of these flights and shit like that I've bought computers when I needed them bought drones bought toys things like that is because I had credit cards to do it on and I never really I never really you know took stock and and really looked at my financial situation until that business was launched and I realized that the returns weren't gonna come in as fast as I wanted and I realized that I was in a really really bad financial situation so I sold a property I had a good good tax return luckily there was loads of expenses that I was able to claim off of my personal income so that gave me a good return and I just saved my ass off and here we are so it's October I've still got that application in with the NFL combine I feel like there's a 5% chance they might get back to me 95% they won't I'm in a much better position this year to to go and perform at something like that than I was last year so if they do fuck it I'm gonna go because after watching that series undiscovered I really could have seen myself on there you know what I mean I literally I was crying throughout that whole entire series because I just desperately just wanted to be on that show so much and and I guess at that point I thought you know what Monash Warriors amateur team yes I could play for them is it really gonna take me where I want to go probably not pro kick yes I could go and do that is it really gonna take me where I want to go probably not because I'd be a kicker so this combine was my last shot last shot for this year anyway so I put in an application made it look as good as I could and see what happens so for now I'm in Christchurch I'm in Littleton as you can see just just trying to work through a few things with you today what I will leave you with is an offer major key physics my brands my clothing line has a sale and we've been having a sale for the last seven days and that is because I need to clear some stock I need to clear some stock I need to free up some money some space and we need to continue expanding this brand which I'm really excited about so for another couple of days we have the relocation sale which has been going on major key physics for the last six months has offered free international shipping now that is a deal that not a lot of companies offer and it's a deal that cost me a shitload of money but it's something that I wanted to include because it just seemed seem nice and neat you know nice and clean it was a great offer and I didn't have to discount my my products now what I've done for the last week we've discounted the products as well so as a 30% off store-wide discount all you need to do is go to the checkout and type in code relocation and you can get 30% off free shipping 30% off I've done this to try and clear some stock it's worked I want to say everyone that has come through the store so far thank you I really hope you enjoy your products and if you can send us a message and let me know how they are how they go what you think because pretty much everyone that's bought something so far has either said this is my favorite t-shirt great quality I love the colors I love the way it feels you know anyone that opens up our t-shirts or singlets automatically feel the fabric feel the weight and in the feel they love it put it through the wash it doesn't stretch keeps its shape keeps its softness and that's what I wanted that's what I wanted out of this clothing brand to provide something quality something not too flashy basic colors the fit was important I changed the fit slightly to to my liking and hopefully yours and now we've got jumpers as well so if you're coming into winter you can pick up a jumper if you're a woman you can pick up the leggings without unisex socks t-shirts singlets are unisex plus the six or seven gym accessories and I will say after being in business for six or seven months our most popular item is the shaker cut I want to say thank you to everyone who's bought thank you to everyone who supported this is my brand it's just me I haven't brought anyone on board although there have been times when I've wanted to because like I mentioned before I've had a load of things to try and try and juggle basically and it's it put me in a hole for a while but like I said I've paid off a lot of debt I'm feeling like I've got way less headaches way less things to worry about and that's that's what I wanted so right now I've still got one rental property in Littleton not Littleton in Alice Springs I've got the business so any sales that come in I will be able to you know bank that money and use it for something else rather than pay off credit cards and I've got my YouTube channel which ticks away slowly but surely one thing I did want to touch on with the YouTube channel see this is this is the point where I'm like fuck I've nearly spoken for 20 minutes I don't know exactly what I've actually said I've just basically run through a few things that I needed to run through I don't know if I've said enough or if I've actually made the the points that I really needed to make but we'll continue the last thing I will say is that YouTube the NFL has been kind of shit to me lately it's blocked some of my videos I went through and I did full match reactions to all of the Jaguars games one two three four and five and I put them up on my channel they're like two hours long they took fucking ages to make guys but I knew I was backing the Jaguars I was backing Leonard Fournet I gave him so much love and then I go and put the videos up and not only are they blocked in the US but now they've been removed that's the first time that YouTube or the NFL have actually removed my videos from YouTube so clearly I'm not gonna be doing that anymore which is really disappointing because all of the Jaguars fans out there I really wanted to experience this whole season with you guys you know but I guess full matches on YouTube is just too much I don't know why I think that's really shit to be honest and it's probably an algorithm thing they probably haven't done it personally but it's fucking annoying because I put in lots of effort and it means that you know a lot of you guys have started saying oh you're only gonna learn stuff when you watch full games you're only gonna you know develop your skills your knowledge to the level that you want if you're gonna watch full games and listen to commentary and not just highlights and I agree see I could have got away with it just watching the Jaguars highlights and putting up a reaction and still not earning any money from it but at least it's not blocked but I decided to do the full game thing it's not gonna continue I apologize for anyone that couldn't view the videos and you certainly can't view them now because they've been removed so moving forward we've got two videos to go in my library I've had all these videos done edited ready to publish we've put them out you know two by two every day basically and we've got two videos to go the John DeLamu top 10 all blacks of all-time video which I actually start bawling my eyes out so please enjoy and we've got Aaron Donald the top number one best player in the NFL for 2019 I've got five more days here in Littleton in Christchurch New Zealand I've met up with a couple of old mates I've met up with my cousin and my auntie and uncle and it's great I'm living with my dad while I'm here we're you know getting closer which is important man is as life goes on as I get older as my dad gets older as my parents get older all my grandparents have passed away I want to know I want to be confident in myself in my heart that I have maintained a good enough relationship with my parents that just makes me feel good it's not about it's just it's it's inside now you know my heart my heart is developing my heart is expanding and things you know self I guess selfish tendencies selfish thoughts I don't I don't have as much as I did anymore you know this trip back here was all about connecting with people usually I'd be obsessed with making YouTube content I'd be not communicating properly just generally in a bad mood because I've got loads of debt things like that and you know this trip was just about putting the camera down connecting with people my old school friends my family and that's exactly what I've done I didn't spend a lot of money as you know I don't have a lot now one thing I was gonna say about the blocked videos and the removed ones I will be putting them on my patreon account so I don't know which ones are gonna be blocked and which ones aren't if they are I'll be putting them on patreon they'll be locked until you become a patreon so that's gonna be up to you I have also opened up YouTube memberships so some of you will see that there's a join button at the bottom of my videos next to the subscribe button that's completely up to you if you want to join and become a YouTube member or go over to patreon and become a patreon completely up to you it's probably gonna be a very small amount of income and you know that's just a little a little help and also I mean patreon is just a place where I can put those videos up so regardless of whether you subscribe for a dollar five ten whatever I don't think you can do under a dollar otherwise I'd suggest that too but subscribe for a dollar per month you can get access to those videos I've never done it for the money and I never will and I think that comes through I hope that comes through so what are we gonna do now I'm gonna walk up those hills right there see those hills and now look the other way do you see those two hills yes my house is between those hills so next time remember lump post wood hills my house I'm gonna walk all the way up the top but this video is just a one-take as I normally do we've had some guys over there kicking the rugby ball you've probably seen them in the background they're probably looking at me like what the fuck is this guy doing but little do they know little do they know 16 years ago I was playing one of my final games here and that's one thing I did want to mention that came to mind before I was so obsessed with rugby I played here I played for this club Littleton dolphins from age five to 12 then when I went to high school and I turned 13 I started playing soccer then when I finished high school went back to university I started playing rugby again then I quit university had fuck all going for me here in New Zealand and came to Australia that's my sporting story but what I remembered is that in my final year a final couple years I was actually kicker so funnily enough you guys think I'm a decent field goal kicker with no experience well I have had experience I used to be the kicker and I used to take massive pride in that and on the fridge at home this is before anyone took stats I kept my own stats I had a big table on the fridge at home I had goals kicked sorry attempted and made I had tries scored and I had total points so at the end of the year I vividly remember I think I was sitting at about 60% 60% accuracy rate I think back in the day when you're you know in the juniors and you score a try out wide actually bring the kick in to like the five meter line I think so there were no real sideline kicks which would have been extremely hard but I vividly remember being down at practice and and not having confidence you know I might have missed like a couple of kicks the week before and I'd be telling the guys I'd be like nah I don't want to kick this week no no it was just too much pressure you know and I guess I needed someone back then to tell me pressure's a good thing it's a good thing you either run away from it you either shy away from it or you embrace it and what's the worst that can happen if you miss a kick nothing at that age but I took it so seriously man so seriously and I guess that's always something I'll regret is not continuing to play rugby with that seriousness through the ages of 13 to 18 because anything could have happened man fuck and there is a small thought that comes from my mind if if nothing works in the football realm if I decide I'm not gonna play football and before I do retire from sport I will come back here to Christchurch to Littleton and play my final season of rugby back at the club and the place where it all started I'll make an oath right now that will happen so I most likely be playing down here it's gonna happen man like I keep talking about life's about life's about being happy man life's about doing what makes you happy as well as maintaining your responsibilities so the next time I come over to Christchurch or New Zealand New Zealand Christchurch even Littleton I want to bring my two kids and that's that means we're gonna have to get them passports and all of that but I can't wait so anyways guys that's enough of that I'm gonna sit down here 26 minutes 26 minutes of talking to any of you who are still here jump on the major keepers excite you've got two more days to do it 30% off code relocation in the meantime I'm going to be enjoying the rest of my time here in Littleton and Christchurch I'll be coming back to Alice Spring shortly anyone who has put through orders in the last week I'll be packing those orders and sending them out as soon as I get back so I apologize for that but it's just the way it has to go when you're you're one man band you know what I mean so thanks for being here guys much love peace out from Littleton New Zealand ladies