 This is why the narcissist is so difficult to deal with. It's no secret that narcissists are difficult to deal with. They're not easy to please or satisfy. They're awkward. They cause hardships and problems. You need a lot of effort and skill to accomplish, deal with and understand them. Almost every interaction with them will result in things being inconvenient and favorable and fortunate and inappropriate because they can be unfriendly, troublesome, stubborn, tiresome, exasperating and demanding. It requires a lot of physical effort and brain power to deal with them because they're just difficult to get on with. But they will often betray it as though it's something to do with you as though you just don't get them. As though you don't give them the right attention. Or you fail to understand them. Or you've caused them to feel unhappy and negative. As though they do not have narcissistic traits. Or they've never had these particular experiences before. When in fact that couldn't be further from the truth. They experience conflict with almost everyone they deal with because they're very unpleasant and disagreeable. They're very insecure so they feel the need to oppose you to gain power and control over you. When in actuality it just ends up setting them back. It never results in them gaining a favorable result in the end. And they tend to become even more bitter and resentful as they age. Yet they always find a way to pin the blame onto their target. They gas like you. They make you believe that it's you. And then you end up jumping through hoops in an effort to please them. But nothing you do is ever good enough. Because they can't be satisfied. They have these internal conflicts and mental struggles that were never resolved. And I've noticed this on my own experience. For many narcissists that I have dealt with. And each time it amazed me. Because I've managed to connect and relate to millions of people around the world. And not just through my videos and coaching sessions. But I've also travelled to 12 countries around the world. Including countries where English is not their first language. And I've rarely ever had an issue communicating with anyone. But with the narcissists that I've dealt with in my personal life. There was always a misunderstanding. I was always blamed and accused for doing something wrong. And it just didn't make any sense to me. Because I never had any difficulty with communicating with anyone before. But this is just how it is when you're dealing with narcissists. You will never experience a deep connection with them. You will never experience relatedness or personal intimacy. Even though you may have experienced it many times. Before you got involved with them. When you're involved with a narcissist it will be a very different experience. And most of the time it won't make any sense. Even if you're not dealing with someone with full blown NPD. It could just be someone with narcissistic traits. Because even then they're still toxic. So they're not going to be able to connect on a deep level. And it's because they have an inability to connect to themselves. They lack the finding characteristics, abilities, likes, dislikes, a belief system and a moral code. They lack a unique identity that would otherwise set them apart from other people. Which is why they lack the ability to understand, recognize, value or react to certain things. While you do have a sense of self. You have a self image and a unique identity. Which is why it may be very easy for you to list your personality traits, abilities, likes and dislikes. And you adhere to a belief system and a moral code. Because that's what makes you you. You have your own unique personality. Which distinguishes you from other people. You have a heart. You have the healing power of love. You have a conscious space that allows for deep connection. You're able to listen to your feelings and understand what they are telling you. And things just feel right and aligned to who you are. Which is why you may have already experienced some really good connections in the past. But with the narcissist or even with someone who just has narcissistic traits, there's just nothing there. It doesn't exist whatsoever. And in fact, when you're around them, you may feel more lonely than if you were alone. Because they have no sense of self. They detach from their heart space. All they have is this false character that they're pretended to be. They don't understand their feelings. They don't even know who they are. They do have feelings. But their feelings are mostly negative. And they lack emotional intelligence and depth. Which means that they lack the ability to register, interpret, maturely and sensitively express. And skillfully respond to feelings that arise both in themselves and other people around them. Because they lack empathy. And they don't know how to process guilt. They suppress that emotions and they pretend like everything is just fine and dandy. Instead of dealing with life and real human emotions. When they feel emotions that they don't want to deal with. They will seek narcissistic supply. Or they will indulge in addictions. So that they can distract themselves. Instead of dealing with what they're really feeling. Which is typically guilt, shame and low self esteem. They use a false character to protect them from being a human. So that they don't feel what they need to feel. Because they don't know how to deal with their own emotions. So of course they're not going to be able to manage yours. They're missing the key component of a human being. They lack empathy. Which is what separates a normal person from a person who has a mental illness or personality disorder. And it's why it was likely so stimulating and revitalizing for you when you found my videos. It was probably pleasantly different. And interesting to what you're used to dealing with. As it intends to impart strength, energy and vitality. Because through my videos. I'm able to share my love with you. By being comfortable with my own feelings and emotions. Which is something that narcissists are not able to do. So you're never going to have a great connection with them. It will always be superficial. And you will never feel like you understand them. Because they have a void. They're disconnected from themselves. So they can't even experience real happiness or joy. And they may not even be aware of it. Because they will be more focused on control. So that they can regulate their emotions. Which means that they won't want anything to do with anything that makes them feel out of control. And instead they will suppress how they feel. Which is why they always seem so angry or miserable. They may often show a lot of resentment. And they may even try to sabotage the relationship. Because it may make them feel insecure. As you press them for a deeper connection. When this is something that we are taught in childhood. We're supposed to connect with our parents or whoever is around us. Because that is how we learn empathy. But we may also find that we have to learn certain things as adults. Because we were raised by parents who weren't capable of teaching us those things. Because they weren't taught or they didn't heal their wounds. Which is why many of us may be experiencing generational trauma. These emotional wounds that will accumulate over time. And continue to be experienced by subsequent generations. And lest someone finally breaks the cycle. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications. If you would like to support the channel. You can donate at paypal.me slash narcsurvivor. You can book a one on one with me on my website. It's narcsurvivor.co.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.