 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the original stories by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a coke and now Claudia Yes, dear your wake darling Yes, I'm awake. Oh, I think that's mean what's mean Me to be away you've been awake and pretending to be asleep And I've been awake for hours and not moving so I wouldn't disturb you and I've got a crick in my neck But I was sound asleep till you call me couldn't have been people never bounce awake like that awful of good spirits I do Good morning my little crick in the neck. Good morning, David. Oh I can't decide which I like better waking up with you are going to sleep. What's the difference? You've got them both. That's true. Miss Claudia breakfast breakfast. Oh, it's Minerva. I forgot it was Wednesday Who's Minerva? What's Wednesday got to do with oh she comes for cleaning on Wednesdays. You remember Minerva. Oh sure I thought her name was many though Minerva for short breakfast miss Claudia Miss Claudia does not live here anymore. Excuse me. I meant to send this note. That's much better. Come in Minerva Morning Miss Claudia. Morning, Mr. Dave. Glad to see you home again. Oh, it's good to be home. Hand me my pipe over there Will you Minerva? Yes, sir. It shows a shock to see you in Miss Claudia's room so early in the morning, Mr. Norton I can give you the name of a very reputable minister who says it's quite all right Minerva Perfectly proper and legal. But still somewhat of a shock. I know what Minerva means Say what is the idea of breakfast in bed for heaven's sake? Your mama said to bring it. Is mama up? Oh put the tray on the table between the beds Minerva. Move the lap, David. Hey, wait a minute. Don't take my ashtray Yes, I'm your mama's up. Mama's cute. Yesterday she went out before we had breakfast and today we've got it free in our room Looks like she doesn't want to eat with us. Mmm bacon Wonder what she'll do tomorrow We'll just have to find a place of her own I guess so she can relax the poor dear I hope she gets one with a room in it for me. Oh, we'll be lucky if we have a room in it for ourselves Minerva I'm gonna have you once a week for laundry and cleaning same as mama has you maybe we'll have you every single day We'll do nothing of the kind you'll do with my cooking and like it Mr. Norton I'll do with it, but do I have to like it? You certainly do. It's part of the marriage ceremony for you to like it See I David take this woman love honor death do us part Say I don't remember anything about cooking in it Reg Miss Cloddy means the better worse part. Mr. Norton miss Claudia. Did you say I mean miss? No Miss Claudia mama told me my mama done told me what you tell you Minerva you need a knife when you spread your butter Didn't I bring you a knife? I'll get one straight off and a spoon for my coffee while you're about it Oh, come back what mama tell you Minerva to ask you what Mr. David would like for his dinner so she can all oh that's easy Steak apple pie, and he doesn't care what else with cheese. What kind of cheese just plain old ordinary everyday rat cheese Wonderful wonderful woman who Minerva or me your mother. Oh But do we always have to have breakfast in bed? Don't you like it? I have a feeling It's going to make me late for the office no later than if we didn't didn't what have it in bed But personally I like to pop into a bath in the morning brush my teeth put on all my clothes and and eat my breakfast And an honest to goodness chair and honest to goodness table I wake up every morning of the world to find out something new and remarkable about you Cloddy Today I find I'm married to a frontier woman. Maybe I should have married a farmer or a fisherman They get up early to oh no no no David never a fisherman. You sound so very sure of yourself. Is there a reason this time? Of course farmer can milk cows and things like that, but what can you do with fish? That's the sort of question. I find it hard to answer in the middle of my breakfast Well, if I still remember after breakfast, I'll ask you again see what's the set first Let's finish breakfast and see what you remember. All right. Hey By the way, this is wonderful coffee. Can you make good coffee? Very. How do you know? Do you ever make any? Sure? You ever give me dishwater. I'll ring your neck. Can you hear that? Mm-hmm? Your knife and teaspoon miss Claudia and more wedding presents and a whole heap of less Oh business is good. Say how long the wedding presents keep up anyway till the first baby. Isn't it wonderful? I'll open this one David and you open the big one Hey, wait and see what they are Minerva Such a lot of wedding presents when you get mad. Oh, that's one of the nicest things about getting married. Mm-hmm Oh for heaven's sakes another bon bon dish mine is salt sellers Don't people ever think a bride does anything but eat candy and soft with an occasional candle stick thrown in Yeah, Minerva, you can take my tray, but you hardly eat anything. You can't live on love Oh, yes, you can you'd be surprised what a lot of vitamins it has in it. I'm never heard of it That's funny vitamins in love To be taken every minute every day I Misses Brown What would you say if I were to ask you for another piece of pie? I've already decided to raise your board David at your third piece. Will you let him alone, Claudia? He likes my pie. She's jealous because she didn't make it. Why'd you guess? Come on out. Let's eat it in the living room and drop crumbs all over the place What for anyway, I might want another piece after the other piece. All right I'll bring everything in here then everything what you'll see now what mother Do what she says David I might have known it you can't depend on anyone these days not even a mother in law I take no sides now go on both of you. I'll clear the table no time for that will do it later I will not leave a table full of dishes close the door and we won't see him. Would you think you're fooling nobody? Better do as she says mother. Come on. You've learned David. I'm coming. What's the rush? You'll see for once. I don't want to see I want to be told he's going to be difficult mama good for you David stand up for your right. It is not easy mother. I'm telling you. I know Tell me what do you do when you don't want to do what Claudia wants you to do? I do it What was that again David? That's your mother and I are planning a campaign for the survival of the fittest Honestly, nobody pays any attention to me around here since I'm now yeah, my heart bleeds for you He's getting very fresh mama. Come on David now eat your pie in the living room. Well, this is the crucial moment mother What do I do? He's strong-minded. Don't budge. I won't Come on. Let's go Impact now you sit over there mom in the big chair May I have your permission to knit Mrs. Norton if you do it quietly and don't drop any stitches. Thank you Now David you sit there. I'm sitting there already. Oh, so you are would you mind telling me what this is all about? It's about wedding presents wedding. Yeah, we've got to decide which we're going to keep and which we're going to return Return them all David dare we know you're dead. Have you no sentiment none at all? Anyway, it's the simplest way out. I can't open my closet without boxes falling out all over me I don't see what you're complaining about. I sleep with him piled up all around me David He's always finding fault never complaining. Oh What are you going to do with them? That's the point It's simple when we decide what to keep we'll hide them away like squirrels till we find our own apartment Say hand me my pipe from over there. Would you squirrel here? I'm glad you're the pipe type What type is the pipe type precisely? Oh, you know like David there you have it mother and the perfect definition Aren't you gonna kiss me before we start? Oh, I just assume not start. I just assume not to What time is it too early too early for what to wash the dishes much too early for the dishes So we'll do the presents instead No, what about this one should we return it or keep it? What is it? Can't you tell nope can you know mama? What is it? Well, I think it must be for shrimp. Hmm. What makes you think it must don't pin me down Mama's right. It's for shrimp. I love shrimp me too. You do you ever told me keep the shrimp dish How about clams? Oh, I'm crazy about that. Have you got a clam dish? No use a soup plate What about crabs David? Well, what about them? Do you like them? Too much work. I prefer lobster. I adore lobsters. How about snail? No, who asked you Mrs. Brahm? Claudia and I are just getting acquainted. Well, do I put the shrimp dish to the right of me or the left of me? Everything to the left of me will be to be returned shrimp dish to the right. It's put Now what about this? Return it or keep it. What is it? Soup terrine. Looks like a silver bath tub. It does a little. What's the matter with that, Louise? And nobody ever ate that much soup in their life. I don't even like soup. Oh, I do. I like soup. I like chowder. David, it's more practical to like soup. You'll just have to learn to. This is too much soup. Still, it's a very handsome terrine. You can use it for plants. If you like it so much mama will give it to you and you can use it for plants. I haven't got a plant. Then to the left of me. Claudia, wait a minute. No, no, it's too late. We are now about to discuss the fish knives that look like little fish. It's from Antheweezer. Fish knives? They are not there for Uncle George back. The terrine. Well, just because Aunt Louisa likes soup, I see no reason. No, she likes terrines. She's been giving them for years. Wedding presents, anniversary presents. Well, what about births? Probably. I need to wash the baby in. We have no baby, so we'll return it. Yes, let's. It comes from package. That means it must have cost an awful lot of money. Well, now let's see. How about the fish knives? We're running this young lady. Well, they're quite nice. We both like fish, don't we? You just went through that routine. I don't think I can take it again. Those are shellfish. Hey, what's your hurry? Where are you going? The dishes. Honestly, I think we're more interesting than dirty dishes, don't you, David? Oh, lots, lots. Mama, will you come with me tomorrow to return the terrine? I will not. What's in all those other boxes? I can tell you blindfolded. Butterpates, ashtrays, bonbon dishes, salt, salad. And don't forget the napkin ring with your names on them. Serves you right. You have to keep them. Well, at least they don't have he and she engraved on them. That's Powell's. Oh, Powell's napkin ring. Same thing. What's the difference? Look, let's keep everything but the soup to read. Everything? I think so. When did you decide that, Claudia? Just now. I'm sleepy. So am I. Come on. We'll help with the dishes first. You don't have to. I'll help. I can get them done faster without you. But at least have a decency to take all that stuff off the sofa so I can go to bed. I'll put them under the sofa. Don't forget, Mother. She said she was a squirrel. David! What? Do you like squirrels? I love squirrels. We are silly, aren't we? Very. Oh, it's so nice to be silly with people you love. I'll tell you a secret. What? You can't be silly if you're not in love. All story material used in this broadcast of Claudia was under the supervision of Rose Franken and William Brown Maloney. In these changing times, here's one thing that hasn't changed. Through two world wars, through two periods of rising prices, the quality of Coca-Cola has remained unchanged. And the price is still five cents. There's more Coke now so that you can enjoy the pause that refreshes with ice-cold Coca-Cola more often. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. Now this is Joe King saying au revoir and remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be. When you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola or ice-cold Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes.