 I was born to believing parents and grew up as a pastor's kid. Around the age of five, I was baptized for the first time. I had no true knowledge of the gospel. All I knew was that I wanted Jesus to come into my heart so I could go to heaven someday. I spent my childhood believing what I would say, basing my assurance on my sincerity, my so-called good works, and my parents' faith. However, that assurance was very shaky and as I grew, I found myself frequently too afraid and uncertain of my salvation to sleep. I had no comfort that I would be in heaven if I died during the night. I repeated the sinner's prayer to myself often, hoping that it would stick and trying to comfort myself with the promises that I heard in chapel at school that I'd be saved if I just felt sorry and asked Jesus to come into my heart to stay. Eventually, I decided that I wasn't truly saved and when I was five, so I repeated the process around the age of ten, I wanted to make sure I had my fire insurance and I wanted to be baptized alongside one of my similarly diluted school friends. The second baptism did not have the lasting effect that I had hoped for and I was right back to questioning my salvation and seeking assurance in my works. Throughout my childhood, I was always known as a good, sweet kid. My temperament and personality made it easy to hide what was really dwelling in my wicked heart. No one questioned my salvation. I was the pastor's daughter. I was nice, I was quiet, and I was obedient. I rarely got into trouble and when I did, it devastated me not because I was sorrowful over my sin but because I was embarrassed to be caught and confronted. While it kept my outward behavior and appearance in line with my place as a good, smart pastor's kid, the attitudes and desires of my heart were far from righteous. I held grudges and harbored a lot of bitterness. I murdered my heart through my hatefulness and focused those wicked feelings on my own family. I lied and sinned in secret. I was kind and sweet to people's faces but thought and said cruel things behind their backs. I was extremely selfish and hated having my selfish and sinful desires thwarted. As I grew older, my heart became more and more rebellious toward my parents. My haughtiness and pride betrayed the true attitude of my heart. I looked forward to the day when I could be out of their control. I daydreamed all through church, rarely read my Bible on my own time and only prayed out of selfish motives. But I still thought I was alright. After all, my parents were godly. I had been baptized. I'd never gone to public school and I wasn't doing anything close to what other kids my age were doing. I knew that I wasn't walking with the Lord as well as I should be but I thought that I'd eventually grow closer to Christ and be more spiritual. I looked at the Christians who were just a few years older than me and who I thought were far more godly and thought that I'd reach their level in another year or so. I felt no urgency to change and follow the Lord expecting that it would just happen with age. It was around age 16 and 17 that God began to open my eyes to the true condition of my heart and the fate of my soul if I continued on that path. He didn't use a grand climactic moment but a slow patient chipping away at my heart. I watched in confusion if those godly Christians who I looked up to rebelled against their parents. One of the hardest blows came from within my own family. I felt abandoned and crushed by someone that I had idolized and loved. Through these hurts I began to see that I was headed down the same road that I would abandon my family and totally give in to my sin if something didn't change. As I looked over my life and the way I lived, by God's grace I started to see how wrong and lost I was. I realized that I couldn't base my salvation on my parents' faith, on the work of baptism, on the many sinners' prayers other throughout my childhood or on my facade of good works. God was showing me that I had never had a true understanding of the gospel. I had all the right answers but that head knowledge never penetrated my heart or changed me. I never realized the filthiness of my own sin. I never repented. My good works only condemned me to hell and eternal separation from God. The only thing I brought to the table was my sin. All of these realizations came gradually and slowly God made known the glorious and beautiful power of the gospel and began to transform my life. Through no power of my own I began to seek the Lord. I pulled back from those who influenced me in my sin and rebellion. I cried out to the Lord in tears of true repentance over my sin, not of embarrassment at being caught or confronted. He changed my desires as he drew me to himself. I no longer read my Bible or went to church because it was expected of me but because it was food for my soul. The words of Scripture came alive to me as they never had before. I wanted to pray, not just to ask God for things but to offer him praise and thanksgiving and seek wisdom. I repented of the bitterness and hatred I had been harboring for years towards members of my own family. This didn't happen all at once in one big pivotal moment. I can't tell anyone the exact date or time of my salvation but I know this, that God has changed me. I am not who I was. My assurance doesn't lie in my own good works or good intentions but in the finished work of Jesus Christ. The battle with sin continues daily but I trust in the power of the Holy Spirit to overcome sin, to repent when I fail and to follow Christ wholeheartedly. I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, the Christ lives in me and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me. In July of 2014 I was baptized for the third and final time the first time as a true believer. Towards the beginning of 2014 I started considering the possibility that one day moving to Orlando would be a part of Cornerstone. My mom had found Cornerstone through Susan Heck and the women's conferences and brought me with her to a few of them. I started visiting regularly and finally moved here from the Sarasota area in May of this year. The Lord has used this move in this church tremendously in my life. He has grown me a lot in the few months that I have lived here and I am blessed to be a part of this body of believers.