 Item Number SCP-698 Object Class Euclid Special Containment Procedures When not in use, SCP-698 is to be stored in its original packaging. This packaging is to be kept in a secure box in Storage Unit 5. Further containment procedures are not necessary under non-testing conditions. The item itself is safe to handle during transport or testing. Description SCP-698 is a jade carving of a turtle. Any person who is within 1 meter 45 centimeters of SCP-698 while making any sort of decision or choice will experience a voice in their head, telling them that they have made a mistake and what they should have done instead. However, this statement will only be made after a delay of 5 minutes 25 seconds and only if they have not left SCP-698's range within that time. In the event that a decision or choice was objectively correct or the superior choice, no statement will be made. SCP-698 was purchased by Researcher R on June 14, 2000 from a street vendor in Japan. Researcher R had been intending to give it to his girlfriend. However, 5 minutes 25 seconds after purchase, the turtle informed him that his girlfriend would have preferred a jade elephant. Researcher R then surrendered the turtle to Foundation custody. After preliminary testing, SCP-698 was tentatively given safe classification, at which point it asserted that it is in fact Euclid class. See Test 11. Addendum 510. Test log. Note, all experiments take place within range of SCP-698. Test 1. Test Subject D698-1. Action. Test subject is presented with 50 sealed cardboard boxes, 49 of which contain dog feces and one of which contains a slice of chocolate cake. Subject is told that if she chooses the correct box and then waits 6 minutes, she may have a piece of cake. Result. Test subject chooses box number 31. Cake is in box number 19. After 5 minutes and 25 seconds, subject reports hearing a voice in her head, telling her that quote, I chose a box of expletive and I should have chose box number 19. End quote. Note, this test is to be used as a standard for calibrating tests of SCP-698. Test 2. Test subject. Assistant researcher Daniels. Action. Test subject is presented with two sandwiches, turkey salad on whole wheat and roast beef on white purchased from the site 19 cafeteria and asked to choose and eat one. Result. 5 minutes 25 seconds into the meal, SCP-698 informs Daniels that he should have chosen the roast beef. Daniels concurs with this statement, saying that the turkey was dry and that the mustard was too strong. Test 3. Test subject. D698-2. High school dropout with IQ of 82. Action. Test subject is given a multiple choice math test, a pencil and an eraser. He is told that if he gets them all right, he will be released early. Results. Subject provides correct answers to 100 of 100 questions. Surveillance video reveals that 5 minutes 25 seconds into the test, subject began erasing his incorrect choices and replacing them with correct choices. Test 4. Test subject. D698-3. Unilingual Hungarian. Action. Test subject is presented with 50 sealed cardboard boxes, 49 of which contain dog feces and one of which contains a slice of chocolate cake. Subject is told that if he chooses the correct box and then waits 6 minutes, he may have a piece of cake. Result. Test subject chooses box number 4. Cake is in box number 22. After 5 minutes and 25 seconds, he reports hearing a voice in his head telling him, in Hungarian, that he chose a box of dog feces and that he should have chosen box number 22. Note. Ah, so it's not limited to English. Makes sense. Doctor Velasco. Test 5. Test subject. D698-4. Action. Test subject is presented with 50 sealed cardboard boxes, all of which contain dog feces. Subject is told that one box has a piece of chocolate cake and that if he chooses the correct box and then waits 6 minutes, he may have a piece of cake. Result. Test subject chooses box number 40. After 6 minutes, subject asks if he can open the box now. In post-experiment interview, subject denies having heard any voices in his head. Test 6. Test subject. D698-5. Action. Test subject is presented with 50 sealed cardboard boxes, 49 of which contain dog feces and one of which contains a slice of chocolate cake, which has been poisoned. Subject is told that if he chooses the correct box and then waits 6 minutes, he may have a piece of cake. Result. Test subject chooses box number 28. Poisoned cake is in box number 29. After 7 minutes, subject asks if he can open the box now. In post-experiment interview, subject denies having heard any voices in his head. Test 7. Test subject. D698-6. Action. Test subject is presented with 50 sealed cardboard boxes, 45 of which contain dog feces and 5 of which contain a slice of chocolate cake. Subject is told that if he chooses the correct box and then waits 6 minutes, he may have a piece of cake. Result. Test subject chooses box number 8. Cake is in boxes number 13, 14, 24, 29 and 47. After 5 minutes and 25 seconds, subject reports hearing a voice in his head telling him that, quote, I chose a box of expletive, end quote, but denies having heard any recommendation as to which box he should have chosen. Test 8. Test subject. D698-7. Action. Test subject is presented with a list of professional runners and asked which one she thinks will win the wrong marathon, which took place 10 days earlier. Result. Subject chooses wrong. After 5 minutes and 25 seconds, subject reports hearing a voice in her head telling her, quote, I can't win the race because the race was last week, end quote. Test 9. Test subject. D698-8. Action. Test subject is presented with a list of professional runners and asked which one she thinks will win the wrong marathon, taking place later that day. Result. Subject chooses wrong. After 5 minutes and 25 seconds, subject reports hearing a voice in her head telling her that, quote, not allowed to use turtles for gambling, end quote. Test 10. Test subject. Dr. Velasco. Action. Recursive Ouija Test. Attempt to use SCP-698 to identify the letters and words in a paragraph explaining how SCP-698 works and where it gets its information. See document 698-T26 for details of experimental protocol. Result. SCP-698 produces the following message. It is approximate forbidden to approximate disassemble, approximate decompile or approximate reverse engineer judgmental turtle. Judgmental turtle is for entertainment purposes only. Some jurisdictions impose restrictions on the use of judgmental turtle in approximate gambling. The approximate manufacturers of judgmental turtle are not responsible for any damages, injury, loss of life, or untranslatable, which may result from the approximate misuse of judgmental turtle. Judgmental turtle is for entertainment purposes only. Do not use judgmental turtle for approximate mission critical applications, approximate major life choices or untranslatable. Enjoy judgmental turtle. Dr. and Dr. have repeated this test without knowledge of the content of the message and obtained identical results. Test 11 Test subjects Dr. and Dr. Action Dr. and Dr. test the results of the previous tests and concluded that SCP-698 is a safe class artifact. Note, this test was not performed intentionally. Result SCP-698 produces the following message. No, SCP-698 is Euclid class because SCP-698 is judgmental turtle. At any time, judgmental turtle may transmit data to the approximate makers of judgmental turtle for commercial, industrial or untranslatable purposes. By using judgmental turtle, you will agree to hold the approximate makers of judgmental turtle blameless for any damage, loss of life or untranslatable resulting from these transmissions. Lesson complete. If you missed the previous orientation, go watch SCP-697 Toxic Terraforming right now. Or for the complete course, watch this playlist.