 Nicole Pinkham has the lead ex triple crown trifecta hat trick feng shui anything that makes a reference to the fact that she's been here three times so she's a repeat offender she loves people and will speak from the heart and she is thrilled to be with us here today so ladies and gentlemen Nicole Pinkham Thank you so much. Well happy day two of lead ex. How many of you had a good time? How many of you are excited about just who you are and how you lead? Okay now here's the thing. I'm going to try to do as best I can to bring back a little bit of energy but I have been looking forward to seeing your faces and now I can't even see them but it's okay. But I've been so excited about coming to see you. I know that it's 240 on a Friday before a lot of you go to spring break so I'm asking you with all the charisma, passion and energy that you have in your bones. I just want you to sit up a little straight and tall and would you just smile at yourself because people that smile a look a lot better and be they feel a lot better. And then some of you have picked your favorite people to sit by some of you just found somebody that looked somewhat remotely interesting and then some of you just set by yourself because you just that's how you roll. So wherever you find yourself I just want you to find somebody in this auditorium even though it's dark look at them and give them the biggest most awkward smile you have ever done. Okay on your art gets that smile. God doesn't that feel so much better? So good. Today I want to talk to you about something that I'm incredibly passionate about and it is liberating your most powerful tool. Every year I choose a word for the year. It's the word that moves me forward that keeps me focused that creates challenge and support for me. And this year my word is liberate and I am convinced that if I can get some people to come alongside of me with this journey we can do incredible things. I'm so honored to be here. Let X is really something that's become part of my heart and I'm so thankful that you get to be a part of it as well. So here's my question. What is the most powerful leadership tool that you possess? What is it? Come on talk to me. What is it? What is the most powerful leadership tool that you possess? Anybody? Anybody? Confidence. That's a really important thing. What else? Honestly really important. What else? I can't hear you but I'm sure it's great. So here's the deal. You are the most powerful leadership tool you have. And I work with thousands of leaders in multiple places doing all kinds of amazing things. And what I find is that the reason why leaders often times are hindered is because when they look in the mirror they don't see what others see. And so today I want to talk to you about four things. That if you are going to truly be liberated so that you can liberate others you've got some things to take away. And so we always start with a question. What story are you telling yourself? If nobody's told you today you're incredible. You are unique and valuable. You have a purpose and a plan and you are at the right place at the right time to do amazing work. And too often we look at problems and problems are important but if we're going to be liberated we've got to look in the mirror. What did you say to yourself this morning when you woke up? Did you say dang I look good today? I'm going to go and just transform the world. Did you say I'm strong and courageous and powerful and everything that I need I possess? Did you say that? What are the stories that you're telling yourself? I was working with a leader just recently. He oozes with healthy humility. Now there's a difference between healthy humility and just plain humility. Humility that allows people to know themselves so that they can lead themselves well. And then they choose to take those talents and gifts and leads others. And I noticed on this particular day he continued to talk about I don't want to seem arrogant. I don't want to seem arrogant. And I said let me just let me be real with you. That is not something that I've ever seen in you. And I said and I commit and I pledge that if I ever see it I promise I'll tell you and he said please. See I was really fortunate that day and I would dare say he was very fortunate that I was standing there because I was able to see the story he was telling himself. And then we had a conversation. But as leaders often times because of what you do and where you are you hide the stories. You don't often allow people to see in what you're telling yourself. And if you're going to truly be liberated and use your most effective tool which is you you've got to identify what stories you're telling yourself. I'm not good enough. I'm not strong enough. You've heard those things from speakers. But have you really looked within and as you look deep in that mirror said what stories am I telling myself that are holding me back. Because if you're not willing to ask those questions then you're never going to be able to fully lead at the capacity for which you were created. So as we look at that we have to learn liberating yourself is learning what stories are you telling yourself that are holding you back to be the best version of you. And I'm asking you I'm begging you would you sit down on this beautiful Friday before many of you go through spring break and just be honest with yourself. You know every time I take the stage I have two things in my head the call you got this just go love people and are you sure you have anything to say. And I refuse to listen to the second because I know that there are things that are that need to be said that if I don't use the gifts that I've been giving that that that message won't go forth. Will you do the same thing. Will you answer the question and learn what stories are holding you back. The second thing that I'm asking you I'm begging you to do is will you take some time and observe what others have told you that are hindering you. I have a young leader same as Taylor when Taylor was in the ninth grade he was on the soccer team and he was in high school and he was so excited. But he was really slow and so his coach said son I appreciate your work ethic. You're humble and I really love the fact that you're on this team because you you really have garnered the respect of all those from senior to freshman. But you're just not fast enough and you just you really need to think about maybe doing something else. So he was put onto the junior varsity team and he had been so looking forward to being on the varsity. What he did was he took that story because he had parents that had taught him how to liberate himself. He said you know what I'm going to let that hold me back. And after he graduated from high school he started saying you know what I've got to do better. I've got to do better because from those nights the 12th grade he had let the story Henry. He had allowed it to get in his head and holding back from the things that he was called to. Following high school in college there was a click and he said no more. I'm going to allow that to be the motivator in my life. And just recently within the last few years he took a cup to that coach from the New York Marathon where he had his best time that he had ever run. You see he observed what someone had said about him and instead of holding it back for a lifetime while it held him for a bit. He turned it around and he allowed it to be motivation for before you see we have a lot of people that are like this in our life. They speak things that aren't truth and if we allow that to grow then we are allowing the Pinocchios to speak truth instead of observing what it is and allowing it not to hold us back but to push us to new places. So like Taylor would you take just a minute when you look at that and would you say what are stories? What stories are I observing myself that are holding me back and it's really funny because I happened to know that coach. And I asked him tell me about the cup and he said I will tell you it is serves as a reminder that every day my words either speak truth and life or they speak harm and hinder and that is a reminder every day to ensure that truth and life come. He still wasn't fast I said that's fine but yet there was a way that we can say those things without holding back. The next thing that we've got to do if we're really going to be able to liberate ourselves to truly be liberated from the things that hold us back is we have to value the strengths and the preferences and the talents that we each possess. I've been here at Air Command and Staff College for six years had the privilege to work with LBD, Leaders by Design and I'm the MBTI person. I love personality preferences. I mean when you see this slide do you just get excited? Okay I just get so stinking fired up. Oh my gosh MBTI even throw a little Enneagram and disk and you've got the five big personalities and I know you've done five voices and when I see this I get so excited. I just could somebody please pretend to be excited. Just thank you thank you thank you I need something. So I'm the MBTI girl I just eat it breathe it love it sleep but I love it. And it's so interesting to me because not just here at Air Command and Staff but when I go and I teach and I train on this I find some people that when they discover their personality preference they're like oh my gosh I love me. See I kind of feel that way like why would you not? And then I watch people and they get their profiles back and they go oh I don't figure it was that. Like what in the world? When you look at who you are and what you're designed and you find out you're a high I with a little bit of D or if you're a big Enneagram person and you find out that you're a two with a wing three or maybe. Do I have any twos in the house? How about any eights? How about sevens? I need some sevens. Do I have any seven Enneagramers? Those are enthusiasts okay so we're missing those. Alright but here's the thing when we find that out it's the purpose is to say how do I capture that and push myself forward. That's the real gift and so I'm asking you would you take a minute and begin to think about who you are and how you're wired and if you're going to liberate yourself love your preferences. Now the value in of who you are and liberation have to meet together. See liberation is setting yourself free but it's bigger than that because liberating yourself is not only setting yourself free but it's using your choice and your will to allow those things that are there that have not been polished and groomed to come out. And see when we begin to look at who we are then we can take those blind spots. We can take those areas where we're not as gifted and we can begin to grow those. While we're always be strong in those things that are our strengths. We have the ability then to encircle our community and our teams with those that compliment us. And so if we're going to really liberate ourselves we have to get excited about who we are. About the values that we have and use this tools not to box us in but to set us free. And so I'm asking you I just need a little bit of encouragement up here. What if anybody in the house that loves who they are as a leader. I've got two hands on the front row anybody excited about who they are. Yes just a few people. Okay but we've got more that time can I get a whoop whoop. Okay I'm feeling better. See in order to do this we've got to learn to value our strengths and our preferences, our talents. You see that my dear friends is where purpose is found. Because if you can learn what it is that you're telling yourself that's holding you back. If you can really identify those stories that you've believed that others have said. And you can take those and turn it into motivation instead of those roadblocks. And if you can truly value how you've been wired and the gifts and the strengths. Then that my dear friends is where purpose is found. And it's through your leadership and innovation and strategy that you can begin to change the world in new and amazing ways. And never forgetting those things that that allowed you to be that way. But you know this because you've been here. Leadership is not about you. Leadership is about others. And so in order to do this it's really important that once we've been liberated that we give it to others. So we have to encourage others to really dream and be a part of a team that allows them to be liberated. A leader cannot give that which he or she does not possess. So until you are liberated you cannot create a culture of liberation. But when you do find that you're liberated your world changes and so does those around you. My husband is someone who's very important to me. And so because I'm always talking about personality preferences and know yourself to lead yourself. I think sometimes because we talk about it so much it was just kind of what we talked about. Two months ago he found himself sitting in a course where he was learning about himself. And as he began to answer the questions I thought that's really not what I see every day. But as a good practitioner you don't tell people what they're not. And so I just we talked and we actually used some different tools. And what he found was what he had been doing for all these years was allowing people to shoot on him. Have you ever been shooted on? Okay there are a lot of people in this world that have been shooted on. And so he was shooting taking those shooted moments and you should do this and you should do that. And this is how you should be and that's what he was answering. And so when he began to understand who he was he was set free. I'm not married to the same man today that I was two months ago. And we've been together a long time because he began to understand what the stories were. He was telling himself and what others had said. He began to value for the first time what he brought to this world. And it has been revolutionary not only in our family but in his work. And now he's bringing people together and we're creating a culture of liberation not only in our home. But I'm watching him do it in his workspace. You'll notice if you've caught on that it's really about how we love ourselves and love others. And I want to tell you about somebody who loved you when he didn't even know you. There's a guy who dreamed up this thing called Lettix. And he's very humble and he's probably going to not be so happy when I tell this story but I love that. So there's a guy by the name of Bill DeMarco you've heard him mentioned. And I was talking to him the other day and I said would you send me your whiteboard. You see Bill would tell himself stories because he sat right where you sit and they said he would tell himself there's no way we can pull off a Lettix. There's no way that we can make this happen. But then he decided you know what I think we can. And he began to build people around him that encouraged him. And when others would say Lettix can't happen we're in the Air Force. There's no way that we can pull off a two day leadership event. He had enough people around him that were telling him stories of I think we can do this. And he built a team of people and he valued what he has. He's one of the most innovative people I've ever had the privilege to call my friend. And so he began to value and he started putting things together. And he was thinking of you though he didn't know your name because he knew that people needed to be liberated. And because he loves those men and women that he serves with and he loves this community with which he calls home. He said I think Lettix can work. And now from that whiteboard that still sits in his home today you are sitting in the space. Lettix one and then two and then three came and that's what it means to be liberated. It's where the voices inside your head don't silence your action. The people that are around you and the rules that make up the organization with which you are a part of aren't allowed to hinder you but to create a spark in you that moves you to places that you never thought you could go. And then you take and harness the gifts and the talents that you have to the place that you give liberation to people that you love and yet you don't even know their names. And that's what he did for you. And as he's done that he's now created liberation for many other people. This year teams of people have worked on this event and because their leaders who have been liberated you sit in the space. You see when it all comes down the best kept secret of success in life is love. And there's no greater gift than love. That's a feeling like no other when you're so passionately in love with who you are but yet you love yourself enough to say I haven't arrived. I've got so much time I can grow I can get better and you love those you work with and a passion and their work that the organization does and you honor the work while supporting and challenging that is where it's really the music and the passion and the magic spot. And so when we think about this if you're going to liberate your most powerful tool the real answer is love. As you learn to identify the stories that you tell yourself as you observe the stories that have hindered you and turn them in to really things that push you forward. As you choose to value yourself and talk about yourself in an objective way that allows others to see how they can link their talents and skills to yours and create something magical. And in the end you don't just keep your purpose to yourself but you share it with others by encouraging them. So I'm going to liberate you because here's the thing if we just talk about it and yet we do nothing with it I mean what have we really done. So whenever you think about this I want you to think about something that you can do what we know as educators is that when we have a tangible way or something that we can show with our hands and our hands and our movements you've heard that this week come together with our head and our heart we do something magical. So I'm going to liberate you on this Friday in March are you ready. So take your hands put them like this. This is the most amazing thing that you're ever going to do. And then I want you to bring them together and I want you to make a heart. Oh my gosh don't you feel good. And then I want you to look at the person that's next to you the one that you talked to and smiled at a minute ago and just make it beat. Oh my gosh liberation is coming doesn't that feel good. It's when we get liberated and we can show people that we love ourselves but we love them even more. That's when amazing things begin to happen. Now there are people that are in your world that you're going to be talking to working with going to school with and that's a little bit and they haven't sat in here. So if you want to freak somebody out grab your hands make it a heart and make it start beating that will liberate the world. And that's what I'm asking you to do. Will you join me will you love yourself and liberate yourself so that you can be the best version of yourself. Will you love those around you so deeply that you create a culture of liberation because when we do that the Air Force is different. Our communities are different her world is different because the secret to success is to truly love. There's no greater emotion and there's no greater feeling that you will ever have when you really learn to love yourself and love others. Thank you so much. Go and liberate this world. Thank you.