 A hot mess, the favorite client with Kathy. Kathy is an organizer of WordCamp Atlanta, and she's also an organizing team for WordCamp US. And the only reason we were able to actually get her to come today was to promise her cheese at Sweet Tea, which you notice we had at lunch. So, y'all welcome Kathy. Imagine, it's 10.15 Thursday morning, you're seated at your desk, phone in hand, headsets on, you're ready to call Phyllis at 10.30. Phyllis reached out to you on Monday afternoon using the contact form on your website. In her message, she said she was looking for someone to fill a simple website. Would you be available to call me at 10.30 Thursday morning? Yes, you agree. There are two people involved in the conversations that are about to happen. Each of you with similar emotions, thoughts, concerns, and emotional rollercoaster, if you will. You, as you're sitting there waiting to make the phone call, are saying, please let her buy a big website. Please let it not be a $500 information. I have a car sitting in my garage that needs a thousand dollars worth of work. The dishwasher is leaking. Please, please let her buy a big website. We call this food. A few minutes later, in your hand, or maybe you're talking to your cat. Please. Please don't let this be a train word. Please don't let it be a train word. Please don't let it be a train word. We call this emotion fear. Hope and fear at the same time are on opposite spectrums of an emotional scale. We call that a hot mess. At the same time, Phyllis is waiting for your phone call. Please let this work. Please let them know what to do. Please, please, please make this work. We call this emotion hope. I'm supposed to go back this way. Hope. A few minutes later, she's praying, please don't let me sound stupid. Please don't let them sell me something I can't afford. Please, dear God, help me. Help me. I want this to work. We call this emotion fear. Same thing, right? Just like you, a mixture of emotions that lead to a hot mess. You're afraid. No, you're not afraid yet. I'm going to get my nose in front of you. You hope that they are a cool person who just came in time to hear us. Or maybe some alimony or the lottery, whatever. You're afraid that they're batshit crazy. And then, Phyllis, like you, same, same, same emotions, opposite side of the same mirror, hopes that you can solve the problem, ideally for a price that they can afford. Her fear is that you can't do it. We've seen that happen many times. What if there was a better way to handle this hot mess? I believe that there is, and I believe that it can happen in 30 this morning when you get on the phone to chat with Phyllis. And that's what we're going to explore today. You're nervous. They're nervous. What happens when your prospect gets nervous? They're afraid that you're going to think they're stupid. That's my time. They're afraid that you're going to think that they are an idiot. They're afraid that you are going to gouge them and take advantage of them in some way. They're afraid that the conversation that is about to happen is going to be a very, very awkward conversation. So what do they do? They put on a happy face. And they pretend like they know a lot about technology. They have researched this. They know exactly what the problem is and how they want you to tackle it. Or on the reverse, they'll pretend like they don't know anything and that they're worse than they truly are. So someone has to take control of this conversation and stop this weirdness of hot mess to hot mess trying to come to some middle ground. If we talk about this as a hope for your attention, the responsibility for resolving that is on your shoulders. After all, you're the one who's being paid for this consultation and for the perspective work. So you have to take control and run the meeting as if you were a consultant. That makes sense. One of the things that I want you to remember is that when people tell you something is wrong or doesn't work for them, they're almost always right. Think about that. When people tell you something's wrong or doesn't work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong. Does that sound familiar? How many of you were in Ben's presentation on giving support? He used some great analogies in there that I won't repeat, but you as a consultant have to take charge and part of what taking charge is is knowing that it is not their job to tell you how to fix it. So let's talk a little bit about the reasons why you should be an active consultant. Reason number one, you're basically already a consultant. So start acting like one. The problem that I've encountered is that most freelancers see themselves as being hired by a prospective client for a specific set of skills. I don't agree. I think you're being hired for your expertise. Reason number two to act like a consultant is so that you can charge like one. There's a different mindset that goes with this. People who tend to see themselves as a person with a skill as opposed to the expertise of value, expertise, end up charging for the skill. Does that make sense? Anyone who takes consulting seriously can tell you that when they made this shift in mindset, they made more money than they did prior to that. Reason number three to assume the role of consultant, your time is a limited resource. Your brain is expensive. Consultants differentiate their pricing based on the roles that they perform. If you'll think with me about the tasks that you will do on a daily basis, some of those tasks have to do with hand knowledge. I can go in and it's CSS and scoot this over here, for example. Maybe it's a quick little fence. There are other pieces of our daily work that requires more hand knowledge. As someone said to me earlier this week, I've been asked to execute this outcome and I don't know yet how to wrap my head around the approach. That's going to cost you more. You being the user of the respective client is going to cost you more to purchase that head information than it is to go edit a few pixels in the CSS. There's also collaborative dialogue between you and Phyllis in this 10-30 conversation. Part of your role is to determine in that very first phone call not so much what it is they want done we're skipping straight into scoping out the project. Your first piece or your first action in the first contact is to initiate a conversation that we are in this together. Together we're going to collaborate and achieve the outcome that you're talking about achieving. Reason number five into why we should act as a consultant as opposed to somebody who just knows how to build websites is because the mind shift that we take or that happens when we begin to think of ourselves as the CEO of our business is vastly different than we think of ourselves as a freelancer who knows how to do certain. Does that make sense? Have you ever had a client who keeps asking to get on the phone again? Anybody? They send you an email. Can you give me a call? Can you give me a call? What about this? What about that? As soon as someone starts asking you those questions you have already stepped into a consultancy role in their minds. They are treating you as a consultant so we can go back to step reason one act like a consultant. Reason number six is if I value myself as a consultant, an authority, an expert, someone full of confidence and know-how other people will assume that same expectation of us. People who value us as a consultant. People who don't value themselves or work with their expertise don't charge enough. It's hard for them to close deal or get taken for a ride. Surely I am not the only consultant in the room who has fallen prey to a passive-aggressive never-ending scope project because I did not take control of the situation. So it's 10.30 and you're getting ready to call. You've made it to a level of consultant. Part of what this does for Phyllis when she gets on the phone is that you are relieving her of the responsibility of self-diagnosis. Yes, you are going to ask the questions about what she has in mind. Maybe a little bit, probing a little bit of what's her definition of simple website. What does that mean to her? Well, your task in this first contact is to sell her, if you will, convince her, assure her that yes, there is hope. You can do what she wants to. When we burden someone with the responsibility of self-diagnosis, we're asking more of them than it's capable of. But if you think about it a different way, if I went to my doctor and said, you know, about three o'clock every afternoon, I get in a physical slump, I'm tired, I just feel like I'm going to lay down and take a nap. I've done some research. I've looked on Voodoo. I think I have a thyroid deficiency. And what I think you ought to do is prescribe this and give me some B12 showlets. That's self-diagnosis. We as humans would not presume to do that in most interactions with our physician. And yet, too often as a freelancer, we allow the prospective client to self-diagnose and that's too much work. I mean, there is no hope that's instilled with their doing self-diagnosis. Remember, Phyllis is on the phone hoping that you can take care of this. And if I allow her to explain I've done this and I think it's that and we've done her in this service. We've made her responsible for the answers and that's not fatal. That's not very adult grown-up and it's certainly not an insult to the mind. It is landmark best-seller for consulting. Peter Watt talks about five phases of consulting. Today we're only talking about the first phase and that is entry and contract. When I first got started in WordPress Post-Development and I put development in post because I'm not a coder I had some presumptions that my first contact was to be all about discovery. How many of you think that your first responsibility in that first contact is discovery and finding the scope? No. That first contact is about establishing rapport and instilling a sense of confidence. The second phase is about discovery. So what I do when people reach out to me in that first contact is I ask them tell me what hurts. One of the things that asking this question does in the conversation is that it cuts through the BS that posturing that they did because they're frightened and it cuts right to the chance. Tell me what hurts and they didn't. I've tried to say things like tell me what's the problem and it does not get the same results. Tell me what hurts. When you go into a physician's office for most of us because we speak English natively we're not asked to use the little charters on the wall where it's on a scale of 1 to 10 what smiley things are you but that's part of what you're doing here in this conversation. Tell me what hurts. We want to ask that question in a confident, assertive voice as opposed to that therapist let me speak to your inner child voice. Tell me what hurts. No, tell me what hurts which is our way of asking what's wrong, what's the problem and then we want to say I'll take care of it then you don't have to figure it all out on your own. What hurts is the poor question in the beginning. What is causing you pain? People are motivated by one of two things avoiding pain or seeking pleasure and to uncover their frustrations concerns and challenges you need to ask good questions use curiosity ask what prompted your reaching out to me what made you want to do this now versus later what made you curious about investing the time and energy to talk with me today because they are investing time and energy you're acknowledging that they're feeling nervous and anxious as they begin to explain the situation you also want to ask assuming that we work together and when it comes to making financial arrangements are you the decision maker? Hope around that a little bit. Are you ready to talk about money? Is it okay if we talk about money? What were you envisioning paying for this? I try not to use the word budget because budget is a scary word and I say that to you I'm not going to use the word budget budget is a scary word but I'd like to ask what were you envisioning paying for this and they will tell you they do have some number in mind so you want to explore that something well, looking at my notes again as I ad-lib and talk a lot faster than I can who did that and did that and talked about that so assuming that they've answered these questions that you've posed what next? how do you close? people ask me all the time how can I close the deal when I have a scope of project yet and it comes back to what deal is it that you were trying to close in this first conversation and it's not quoting a website in the conversation I have determined a few tidbits perhaps some things that I could address while we're in the conversation I'm struggling with this what about that many of you can say well write off paying and I can see that what you were describing to me we're going to need to focus in on your target again we're coming back to instilling some hope I ask them if I come where I can see them as I begin to close it out after our conversation today do you think that my team and I can handle what we've been talking about do you believe that we can get the job do you think that we can move forward are you ready to move forward today with a project agreement not a financial quote but a project agreement or do you need some time to think about it if they have gained a sense of confidence they will be prepared to say yes I'm ready to keep moving but I need to know what it's going to cost and you remind them again you bring them back to the conversation but that's not the goal of today what I want to know is have I established a sense of trust maybe not using those exact words that's our goal do you think our team can get the job done if so my assistant will send you a project agreement for you to look over and then we can move forward with a quote if not is it okay if we follow our word and I have talked really really fast and we're going to open this up for questions instead or at this point and we'll talk 10 times over what kinds of things come to mind when you think about that first contact with a prospective client are you thinking about establishing rapport or are you thinking about finding out what they want are you in the discovery process I'm just two years into this part of our business you are trying to establish rapport but it's not so much for the purpose of moving forward it's also to see if you can work with them ongoing because I almost wish there was another word for website because that's like the baby and then the baby grows up and the baby gets bigger and the baby needs all this stuff and so it's a long term commitment that's having to be understood conveyed in the right way and it's an awful lot to try to figure out from one meeting if you're having to explain what does a website need to be what do they think it is because it's not just that public facing online image it's a lot more I find sometimes that just educating them on what they're really signing out for and do they even understand that it takes a lot of time it does and I'm going to repeat that for the recording and sure Susan says it's hard as hell in that first conversation because a lot of education is required in the first conversation defining things like what is a website what does that mean to you what does this mean to me and coming to terms in defining a mutual glossary I would position that that's not really the work of the first contact and in my opinion I think the work of the first contact is who are you what experiences have you gone through what brought you to calling me today why today, why now what's your greatest fear and what do I have to do to help you understand that we're the right people that we can take care of that for you Diana I approach it a little bit differently for me it's more about an interview because part of what I need to find out in that first call is if I want to work with them just because they call me doesn't mean I want them to find me okay I'm going to stop right there so I can repeat Diana's point of view is that the first contact is an interview she is interviewing the caller just as much as we are interviewing them does this sound like someone I have an interest in working with whether that is their personality drives me up the wall right away or whether as they just make noises about what they want to happen and how they want it to happen does this sound like something I want to explore do I have an interest other thoughts and comments on the first contact I say the first contact you should build a relationship so that's the way it's going to be some other relationship now we're going to be business leaders so Miki says that he thinks the first contact should be based on a relationship so can you talk more about how you develop a relationship I mean I'm just building people I'm not going to set them to 34 o'clock if I can do what we need then I'm going to tell you what you need a lot of people, the hardest part of anybody in the web design industry is essentially showing them the job to be a person and trying to get the job thinking about how many women don't work a year out there that'll actually give them a point and then they'll show up so it happens and they'll show you when you're going to show up it'll be irrelevant building that relationship and betraying yourself that's something you can't do as Miki explores that further he talks about one of the ways that he instills trust is that he shows up when he says he's going to show up he does what he said he's going to do and he'll be asked be upfront, honest and authentic if it sounds like something you can't fulfill then don't say sure other thoughts from anybody? Doug? How much pre-qualification would you do if, for example my budget is $25,000 but I called your agency and you don't really start it until $250,000 how far into this relationship conversation should we get? Good question Doug raises the point of pre-qualification if me as a client I have a budget of $2,500 and you as a developer don't build sites for anything less than $250,000 where do we go? I would simply say every client is not required I'm not afraid of this money I guess my question is do you find that out during the interview or are there... It's not the first thing everybody can relate to the security of the web industry which is what it calls so to be upfront say I don't do any web sites less than this don't waste your time if they say okay well I don't have that there are other sources that you can use to deal with and this is why I'm at it and it's a big flop straight up I mean literally that's the way I've grown out of that agency and it's working for me But imagine that I'm buying a vehicle and I haven't worked out all the goals yet so go into the motorcycle dealership and they're like oh yeah you could buy this motorcycle for $5,000 cash right now walk out of the store with it but I started really evaluating my priorities and it turns out I need a $50,000 or $100,000 motorhome because I want to tour the country and I want to save money on hotel rooms so but I filled out the form that said I don't want to spend more than $5,000 it turned out I didn't know as a client that I actually really need the $100,000 vehicle like where do we find that balance do I have to have this conversation or let's go back a little bit one is because none of that is getting reported for the video so to kind of dovetail that what we have happening in the room is a conversation about budget in our very first contact I like to start with what hurts what is causing you pain and then you begin to discover some of the parameters of the project my biggest problem is I am on the speaker circuit and I need a website that gives my bio and I don't have one and our approach and guidance to that would be very different than someone who says I am an artist and I create beautiful work and no one knows but me I need to have a simple website putting simple website in quotes I want a simple website that I can sell my art and then it begins to give you another perspective and so those first questions are around what hurts what is causing you pain I don't want them to think about the answer that they think they need they have reached out because they think they need a website that may or may not be true okay so I need to discover their pain point first so that I can respond with I can understand I know that how that would be frustrating that sounds like a worthwhile endeavor I believe we can help you with that and then it's moving into budget is a scary word let's talk about that differently what were you thinking of paying for this thinking of a simple information site that would help be a press release versus what were you thinking of paying for a site that would help you sell my artwork to totally different conversations and I think the point of that first interview if you will using Diane's analogy is I am in charge of the conversation I need to discover where the pain is and part of that process is also assuring them that what they are asking is not unrealistic it may be inappropriate for my agency to take on that project but I know lots of other people in the community who are capable of taking that on if I referred you to them for example my first job is to tell them they are not stupid for asking what they are asking for what they want may be unrealistic but it doesn't mean it's wrong I get an awful lot of emails from people who have said I have a website and I don't know how to use it I had this person build it for me and that person is no longer available so then I went to this person over here and for whatever reason that's not working you are the third person I have talked to it is not within me to not be helpful and affirming in that conversation asking affirming their point of view what hurts how can we make that better and what were you thinking of paying for the solution to make sense other general comments we're done