 Welcome to today's episode of the mindset mentor podcast I'm your host Rob dial if you have not yet done so hit that subscribe button So that you never miss another podcast episode and if you're out there and you love this podcast And you want some extra tips and tricks to improve your mindset go to Monday email calm right now It's absolutely free every Monday I send out an email with my Ideas and some extra stuff that I'm gonna be working on in myself to improve my mindset my life So if you want some extra tips and tricks Just go to Monday email calm sign up and I'll start emailing you every single Monday with some extra a little bit extra Mindset stuff for you today We're gonna be taking a really deep dive into your past and also the life that you're gonna want to be creating And we're gonna talk about what is your fault in your life? What is not your fault in your life? And I want you to think about your childhood I want you to think about all the things that happened to all the good things that happened to you All of the bad things that happened to you your parents the way that they raised you whether it was the way that you Wanted to be raised or wasn't or whether you got what you wanted to from them Or you didn't or you got the love that you wanted or you didn't or You got the schooling you wanted or you didn't or your teachers took care of you or they didn't or you got bullied Or you did I want you to think of everything that happened to your in your childhood It could have been good it could have been bad it could have been just me It could have been just meh meh could have been that way right if you were Poor it wasn't your fault if you were born poor But if you die poor it is your fault now Maybe you don't want to be rich maybe you don't care to be but there's a phrase that I've seen that I think it was bill gates I said it but maybe if somebody else then maybe he's just been credited But he said if you were born poor it's not your fault if you die poor it is your fault and so when we're talking about this I want to talk about what is your faults and what's in your responsibility and that's what we're gonna be diving into today So all of the things that happened to you in your past when you were a child Before you moved out before you started actually being able to make your own decisions all that stuff none of those things are your fault None of them your parents Situations where you lived how you were born, you know your race your gender None of those things are your fault those are just cards that you were dealt throughout your life Maybe you were born to you know Parents that had really bad anger issues and you got maybe some anger from that Maybe you learned some things from it Maybe you became a certain person not maybe you definitely became a certain person because of the way that you are raised by those parents If you were born to parents with anger issues, that's not your fault But if you continue to be angry or hold on to something into the future that is your fault It is your responsibility now that you're an adult when you were an adult It is your not now your responsibility that whatever you were given as a child whatever happened to you as a child wasn't your fault But it is your responsibility to now work through one of the things I think is is very Hard about life is that hundreds of years ago thousands of years ago There used to be rites of passage which basically meant like you were a boy or you were a girl And now you're stepping into being a man or being a woman We don't really have those in most societies more like me growing up in America I didn't have a right of passage to go Rob You are now a man and it's not something you know that usually it was like a right of passage was like something hard Something strenuous some cultures it was like they'd give you mushrooms And you'd have to go on a crazy mushroom journey and work with a shaman and then eventually when you worked with them Then they would eventually say hey now you're a man. There's some crazy rites of passages I don't recommend there's one of them that I saw where they take These fire ants think it was over in Africa somewhere they take these fire ants and they make these gloves No, joke. They make these gloves and they they literally like fill them with fire ants in order for a boy to become a man in This tribe they have to put their hands in with these pissed off fire ants and leave it in there for like three or four minutes And they you know if they take their hands out They didn't pass whatever that is and now they're not a man yet And so they have to do this thing that is really hard and really intense and then from there They go through some sort of passage that they go through We don't really have to go through something like that and maybe that's good. Maybe it's not but there's no No way to figure out. Okay. I was a boy now. I'm a man. Okay. I was a woman. I was a girl now I'm a woman so there's no real way for us as Adults nowadays to to go. Oh this thing that happened to me when I was young happened me. I was young now It's my responsibility to fix now. It's my responsibility to get past You know if you if you're like I said born with parents that have anger issues That's not your fault, but anything that came from that that you now have or need to work through is your responsibility If you were born to really unhappy people anything that you got from that is Not your fault, but it is your responsibility now to work through if you were born in really bad Circumstances, maybe you're born in a really poor place or you're born in a country that was Written by war any of those things none of those are your fault But now that you're an adult and you're listening to this Whatever you're still holding on to whatever you need to work past is your responsibility to work past And so we have to be very aware of things that are not our fault But they are our responsibility to work past if you're born into a family with very little love That's not your fault But is your responsibility to figure out how to work through to create the best life you can from it if you were a Foster child that's not your fault none of those things are your fault But that of that's the cards that you've been dealt that is your responsibility now to work through and to create the best version of yourself From those circumstances all of those things are not your fault But they are your responsibility and the thing that I think most people need to really settle into like deep into their bones and every Single one of their 40 trillion cells is that you were dealt the hands that you were dealt It's your job to figure out how you're gonna play that hand. You cannot change your hand You know imagine if you're at the casino You're playing Blackjack and you look at your cards and their crap cards You can't get pissed off at that you can't get pissed off at the dealer and be like give me new cards Give me new cards. You'll be like, no, this is the hand. This is the hand that you're playing You've got to figure out the right way to play it. Do you hit? Do you double down? Do you fold? What do you do is your job to figure out? You can't change the cards You would dealt the hand that you were dealt you cannot change them and some people live their whole life Pissed off as an adult about something that happened in their childhood They're still pissed off with their parents are still pissed off at teachers are still pissed off at circumstances So pissed off at the government that the president they're still pissed off as if they're a little kid that doesn't have control anymore You have control It is your responsibility to build the life that you want to build Regardless of the circumstances that you were born into It is your responsibility to create the life that you want Because I'm gonna say this and I hope this gets deep down in your bones. No one's coming to save you nobody The government definitely ain't coming to save you There's no knight in shining armor that's going to come and save you and change your life You have to be the one to go. You know what? I'm gonna do it myself because there's too many people holding on to the past and Thinking about the past saying the past is the reason why I am the way that I am in the past Gets in the way of them creating a great life They're pissed at their parents for not giving them the love that they wanted or not teaching them how to be Financially successful or not teaching them to read and get great at reading and being smart and intellectual They're pissed off at society for the way that they've been treated They're pissed off that they were born in a certain country that they were born a certain sex that they were born a certain skin Color, they're born a certain sexual preference, whatever it is that we have we have and that's it like for me I've gone through this and I've really thought about this a lot for myself because there was a time in my life Was really fucking pissed to my dad I was really pissed that he would you know in my mind when I was younger I was thinking like I was pissed because I was thinking that he was so selfish instead of being a great father and Taking care of myself and my sister and my mom that he decided that he was gonna go and drink and spend his time Drinking and you know forget to pick me up a lot of times and treat me the way that I was treated and I was pissed thinking that You know I'm pissed that he was this way and then I was pissed after he passed away when I was 15 Because he had liver failure and I knew all of the stuff that was happening I was pissed at him I was pissed at the circumstances and then at some point time I realized I can't do shit about that like He is the way that he is he was the way that he was He did die. That was the the cards that I was dealt. I'm not going to get a different father He's not gonna come back from the dead. None of these things are going to happen. I have to be able to go You know what? This is what I got. I've this is my ground level. This is where I got to start it from here And we've got to look at it and go. You know what? This is the life that I have However, I am however. I feel whatever's inside of me. Whatever I've learned whether I like it or I don't like it I have to deal with it It is my responsibility to build the life that I want to regardless of the fact that I was raised by an alcoholic father the past When I was 15 it happened shit happens That's the one that God said you know what you know what Rob needs before the way I like to think of it my head is like before I was just placed onto this earth God or the universe or whatever it is. It's out there. That's keeping this whole thing running was like You know what this Rob dial guy, you know what he needs He needs an alcoholic father and the reason why he needs an alcoholic father is because he's got a lot of lessons That are going to help him later on in life that he needs to be responsible for finding Extracting and using for for better and for good in his life That's the way I look at it like oh, this is what I've been given. This is what I signed up for I took this life Can't change the cards. We have to realize that we've been dealt the cars We've been dealt and we have to work past this now. It's not our fault It's not my fault that my father's an alcoholic But it is my responsibility to create an amazing life regardless of that in because of that Right and we can be pissed about it the cards our entire lives or we can just go ahead and do it So cars are not going to change them. We have to go. Okay This is it. This shit show is my life This is my starting point. Where do I want to go from here and we have to accept it We have to move on. What do we need to do? We need to figure out what is that we need to create We need to pull up our bridges and we need to get to work. That's what we have to do. I'm here This isn't where I want to be. I wish it would have been a little bit different I wish I would have had an amazing life and these things would have happened and these things would have happened These things would happen, but this isn't what I got So I do still want an amazing life. Maybe the past wasn't amazing But it doesn't mean the future can't be amazing. It doesn't mean that I can't say make make an amazing life out of it and then from there We go over three different things three very simple things That will help you create this life that you want is you have to know a few different things number one where you are number two Where you want to be number three what you have to do and so where are you? you know if you've if you're out there and you've been pissed your entire life and you've been You've been so pissed about the way that you were raised and what your parents did and how they were shitty parents maybe or maybe they were okay parents But they didn't give you what you wanted or maybe they didn't treat you the right way Maybe they didn't treat each other the right way and they treated you fine But then you witnessed the way that they treat each other Where are you now if you just woke up and you went okay? This is this is the level called for me This is a level called Rob dial and I'm just planted into this moment right now. I'm like, okay. It's a video game Okay, this is what happened in the past these are all of these things Where are you? Okay? This is where I am right now I'm in all of this. This is all the stuff that happened to me in past. This is where I am Let me take an assessment of where I am in My life mentally physically emotionally spiritually. Let me figure out where I am in my relationships Let me figure out where I am and you have to be real About where you are About these cards that you're holding on to because you have to look at them and be like, okay These are the cars that I have you know what I wanted. I wanted a king ace But I have a thought that I get a three six right like you guys had played blackjack before be like what? God I wanted a king ace. Well, I was dealt the three six offsuit Damn it. All right, I guess I've got to work with this three six offsuit got to figure out what to do from here So there's where you are I'm holding a freakin three six. All right, and there's where you want to be and you figure out the life that you want to have in 12 months Shit, you can do six months if you want to make it closer. So it's not so far away What do you want in six months? What do you want in a year? What do you want in five years? What do you want in ten years when you die? What do you want your life to have looked like in your life to have been and you need to know in detail? Because the more detailed you can bring to this the more that you can actually start to see it and work towards it Right, so you need to know where you are make a true assessment of where you are All the things that happened to you in the past just mark them off as not your fault Okay, that's the way that is going into the future. I have decided I'm gonna make a decision today and Decision comes from the root word deca dairy and deca dairy means to literally cut off cut off Everything cut off the entire past of what it was and all of the faults and blame that I placed on other people I'm gonna cut it off right now And I'm gonna cut off my old version myself who I thought I was all of this stuff I'm gonna cut it off right now. I'm gonna step into a brainy version myself today I'm gonna make that decision Which once again decision comes to the root word deca dairy, which means to cut off I'm gonna cut it off Cool, it's where you are where you want to be and now stepping into where I want to be I want to know in detail as much detail as I possibly can of what I want to create in the life that I want And I need to write it down and need to get clear on it and you think about it every single day And then from there when we know where we are which is right here And we know where we want to be which is right here. We start figuring out. What do I need to do? Where do what do I need to do and you actually make a plan of the action steps that need to be done You need to do it. Once again, like I said, no one's gonna come and save you No one is gonna come and build the life that you want for you fuck Wouldn't that be awesome? Wouldn't that be amazing if somebody came in and just built our life for us We could just sit on a Netflix and sit around watching Netflix and eating ice cream and taking little nappies That'd be great. What if we could do that, but it's not happening. No one's come to save you Try it try sitting on your couch watching Netflix all day long eating ice cream and taking little nappies And see how that works for you. It ain't happening. No one's gonna come and build this life You have to build it. It is now your responsibility. You got to pull up your britches and get dirty That's all that you can do. You got to get to work to create the life that you want to Because it's really important and the point of today's episode is not to give you tips and tricks on how to improve And how to fix this the point of today's episode is to say hey If you're one of the people who's been blaming everybody if you're 32 years old and you're still blaming everybody You've got to be an adult at some point in time be like I've got to get my shit together Because it's nobody's fault anymore. It was their fault up until like 14 15 16 17 years old But once I moved out or once something else happened it all became my fault They all became my responsibility and what we need to do if we're gonna be adults and create the life that we want to Is we need to be the one to do it if you want to create the life that you want to regardless of the Circumstances you were given in your life what you were raised with good bad and different meh Whether it was meh or whether it was great whatever it was you were giving it You've got to put in the work to create the life that you want Your past was not your fault your present moment and into your future is your responsibility So that's what I got for you for today's episode if you love this episode Please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me in it Rob dial junior R. O. B. D. I a L J R And if you also love Instagram and you want to follow this podcast on Instagram We put a bunch behind the scenes and extra clips and some clips in this podcast as well On that Instagram so I can fill your newsfeed with my face and positive and Motivational mindset tips and tricks as well So if you want to follow me on there It is the mindset mentor podcast once again the mindset mentor podcast on Instagram And I believe the same way I leave you every single episode make it your mission make somebody else's day better I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day