 I've talked about Superman a few times in this comic book movie bracket, mostly in a positive light. Prepare for all that to change though as we go over the worst of the worst. As a bonus, his cousin Kara joins the fun with her shit-tastic film. It's the rest of the Superman films on movie feuds. I was so close to finishing Phase 1 of the comic book movie bracket with only two episodes to go. Phase 2 is going to go way quicker. And I couldn't be more happy for that, more grateful. To quote my wife during our love-making sessions, I need this to be done. Superman 3 and 4 bring back Christopher Reeve to ruin his image as much as possible, I guess. The sad part is, Reeve is in top form for the third outing. He's more bulked up, and his acting range is impressive, playing both a good and evil version of himself. It's such a shame this movie is pure garbage. Comedic funnyman Richard Pryor is for some reason in the majority of the movie, often times without Superman. This film reeks of studio meddling. It's also worth mentioning that Margo Kitter is noticeably absent from Part 3, only showing up for a total of five minutes. Superman 4 is considered by many to be the worst of the franchise, and that's understandable. It is a total pile of human excrement. But let's not discredit 3 for setting the table of the shitfest that is to occur. Pamela Stephenson is at least nice to watch in her little outfits, but there is really little else worth mentioning. Superman 4, the quest for money, once more has a billionaire tycoon and evil mastermind Lex Luthor running in a new game. I always liked Gene Hackman in the role, but even he knows this thing's a dumpster fire. Kitter Man makes his big screen debut. He's a killer queen with razor sharp claws and a flash dance-esque leotard. Watch out fellas, kitty can scratch. They dragged Kitter kicking and screaming back into this mess as well. Superman Returns looked to correct past mistakes when it released in 2006. What's odd was that it appeared to be a sequel to Superman 2, ignoring events of 3 and 4. With a babyface cast of lesser known actors, minus Kevin Spacey, it was hard to connect the movies together. And I don't think many people were invested in the new Lois and Clark Love story, although Baby Superman was a brilliant twist. Just magnifique saunt. I'm joking, nobody thought that was good. Parker Posey is always entertaining at least, and Spacey's Lex would have worked great in a much better story. I saw Supergirl when I was 8. I have no recollection of it. I'm sure it's fucking terrible. I'm gonna do the IMDb cast rundown for you. Soup's Cuz, Kara, is played by Helen Slater. I see legit actor Peter O'Toole was forced into this movie somehow. He must have lost a bet or something. Fade Dunaway as Selena is the only other name I recognized from the 4th second glance I gave this list. Perhaps they should rewatch, but judging from the 4.3 it currently sits at IMDb, I think it's safe to say it sucks. Superman 3 is the story of Hollywood burning a bridge and Richard Donner leaving the series. So they hired a hack writer, and even a hackier director. And then they changed the tone from a dramatic, fun-for-all-ages superhero adventure to a My Uncle Touched Me in the Closet when I was younger and I refused to talk about it flick. One of those classics. I hate this movie with the passion of a thousand fiery sons. They couldn't get Lex back, so instead of using one of the million other villains in the comics, they just redo Lex as a different character completely with idiot sidekicks. The second half of the movie is far stronger and makes up a small amount of the bad faith the studio got from the audience. But don't worry, the small amount of faith that was left was taken behind a Buffalo Wild Wings and raped repeatedly when Superman 4 came out. Superman works with the world to disarm all nuclear weapons, bringing about harmony across the land. Luther has other plans in the form of a drag queen named Nuclear Man. It was good they got a long break between 4 and the semi-reboot. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough ample time to come up with a halfway decent script. Superman Returns brings Cal-L back to Earth in a really awesome plane crash sequence, but after that, there's just not much excitement to be had. Instead, we get a string of creepy, stalkerous scenes of the Man of Steel spying on Lois. Granted, if I had those abilities, the places I would go, the people I would see. But I'm not someone to be worshipped, you know, I'm not a god, I'm just a terrible human being. There's very little action for the audience to enjoy, and the scenes that do take place are over before they really even began. I did enjoy the darker moments, such as soups getting stabbed with a chunk of kryptonite, but it's not enough to really raise the bar. Once more, I was a tiny child when I saw Supergirl, don't remember a damn thing, I'm going to read the synopsis for you. After losing a powerful orb, Kara, Superman's cousin, comes to Earth to retrieve it, and instead finds herself up against a wicked witch. It sounds like really riveting stuff. Let's move on to round three. I'd lie if I said I was ever really into the Superman films. Even nine-year-old Adam wasn't waiting in line for the third one to come out, and he had very low expectations. He rewatched the three ninjas probably 50 times on VHS. It probably didn't help that the effects of three and four looked like they were on a shoestring budget, going as far as to reuse footage from the first two films. Nothing looks remotely believable, and the fight choreography is laughably bad. Granted, there isn't much of it to begin with. The third is more of a slapstick vehicle for prior to dumb around in, and four has a couple of really campy one-on-one battles. I think they fight on the moon at one point, but it's very clearly a soundstage. I think there's even a guy sitting on a crater in the distance, eating a sandwich on his break. It's like, oh, am I in the shot? We don't care, right? This movie's fucking terrible. The Bryan Singer directed movie is much easier on the eyes, but as I stated previously, the action is so sparse, it's almost remarkable. Because I love this show, and you the viewer so much, I took time out of my busy schedule to at least watch the Supergirl trailer, and I was mesmerized to say the least. It appears she battles a bulldozer after a man runs for dear life from it earlier on. How hard is it really to avoid one of these? Why is this so difficult? The music in Superman 3 and 4 is familiar and somewhat fresh. John Williams' contributions to the earlier flicks is repurposed with the new material coming from composer Ken Thorn. Alexander Courage, yes, that's his real last name, that's phenomenal. He composed three new tracks for Quest for Shit. Since Superman Returns insists on being part of the same universe as the Donner films, the music stays very true to form. John Williams' Superman March can be heard right out of the gates, with new music coming from John Ottman. Jerry Goldsmith always wanted to compose tracks for a Superman film, but unfortunately only made it as far as Supergirl. And critics say the soundtrack is the only redeemable quality of the film. Sounds like I'm really missing something special by not re-watching this thing. Let's conclude. I previously ranked all the Superman movies in a Best and Worst episode a while back, so if you want a little bit more of a dive, check that one out. Or don't, it's your life, you do what you want. Picking a winner here is very easy for me, as Superman Returns isn't a bad movie per se. It has its heart in the right place. It's just unfortunate that it didn't try to be its own thing. Singer has shown he's capable of building a great franchise in the past with X-Men. Only to later have it crash and burn, much like the Superman series. Vote for your winner. Like and subscribe to FU Nation to keep up with this ongoing comic book bracket. And remember, this is not a bird. Or a plane. This is Movie Feuds. I've been told by people that I should be watching the Supergirl TV show, that it's quite a treat. I'm joking, nobody has ever said that about the show.