 Item number SCP-3768 Object Class Safe Special Containment Procedures Information about the procedure of SCP-3768-A is to be contained in a single paper document at Site-59. Foundation Webcrawler 70R-FEO is to excise and expunge any other information on the Internet pertaining to SCP-3768-A. Standard information suppression campaigns are to be carried out at low priority for non-digital storage formats. A radio with the prepared SCP-3768-A arrangement is to be kept for research in the SCP-3768-B. SCP-3768-B is to be monitored and recorded at Site-59 at the discretion of Director Nysmith. Description SCP-3768-A is a ritualistic procedure carried out through the use of 3.7g of zinc, at least 400g of table salt, no more than 5g of silver, and 7 honey bee carcasses, at least 90% intact from death. These ingredients must be arranged in a specific formation around a civilian FM radio within 500km of Baltimore, Maryland. Upon completion of SCP-3768-A, a new radio station can be accessed at 97.3 FM, identified as 3 Moons Public Radio, or 3MPR. The origin of this frequency is believed to be an extra-dimensional plane of reality. The show's 24-hour programming features news and editorials for the inhabitants of the signal's plane of origin. The host, who allegedly has never been off the air once in 300 years, identifies as a permanently 27-year-old female human of French Senegalese descent named Julie Niyong, here after identified as SCP-3768-C. Whether or not the recordings are factual is restricted to personnel with 5 slash 3768 clearance. Selections from SCP-3768-B Recordings SCP-3768-C Good morning, Drissage. It is now 8AM O'Eastern Standard Time. Meteorological station on the left is maintaining a pleasant 62 degrees out today, so wear a light jacket if you're headed to the meat tree market. SCP-3768-C Lord Gonturus, also known as the Elephant King, or the Arkheaden, released an official public statement yesterday to celebrate the fact that he's temporarily sober for the first time in 300 years. He took questions from Sakalovian reporters on the steps of the Marble Hall. In regards to the approximately 30,000 captives of his so-called meat orgies, Lord Gonturus responded with, quote, this was never a part of the plan. The soma was tainted from the start. None of us can stop. I cannot stop. I am scared. Please help us. Male voice. I suppose it goes without saying that I've been bloody well disappointed the whole time. There I was, all, imagine there's no heaven and no hell below us. Then I'll wake up from the murder, and I'm in a place that manages to be both at the same time. Imagine there's no countries. Corvina's got a few trillion countries, and they're in a permanent war with one another. SCP-3768-C Speaking of which, what are your thoughts on the Strider situation? Male voice. Interesting that you mentioned that. I've actually got a song about the whole affair lined up for the new album. It's called Dead Monkey Good Monkey, probably one of my least subtle tracks in a while. I haven't yelled so much in 40 years of life as I had in 30 minutes of recording. The boys and I were trying to go for an early Devin Townsend sound, you know? The angrier, the better. Not to sidetrack too much, of course. So as for the issue itself, as far as I'm concerned, the Strider's gay piece of chance didn't aid it, like they do with everything that isn't nailed to the ground in this hellhole. I'm not entirely convinced why we shouldn't just drop everything we have on Bogle Mountain. SCP-3768-C To no one's surprise, the Central Cabal's unanimous passing of the Mandatory Pan-Corbanese Human Sterilization Act, or MPCHSA, has been causing controversy among the colonies, resulting in demonstrations across the lunar capital. Opponents, including the Child of Heaven Coalition, claim that the right to responsibly conceive children is inalienable. That DeYong, who was expected to sign the MPCHSA in the law on Tuesday, released the following statement. Male voice. The world we live in now was meant to be the logical conclusion of our lives on Earth. The great new life here would be to create mortal life. When this happens, and it has happened all too often, the polarity of death is reversed, and the departed mortal lives to live forever in the so-called sister universe. The tricky bit with this, of course, is that our world is designed for immortals, theirs isn't. There are two inevitable results. A guaranteed living nightmare drifting off in the deep space, or in the custody of the Foundation, as with several extant case studies, or the presence of an unkillable human being on Earth with all the potential violence it would entail. SCP-3768-C In addition, 3 Moon's Press Secretary Lyndon B. Johnson has insisted that the sterilization measures are painless, non-invasive, and finally some good news about this will not affect libido. SCP-3768-C We have some breaking news to report out of Bogel Mountain. The Witch Queen, Hikati Bogel, may her name be thrice Dan for eternity, has died of apparent liver failure. Though it has been previously believed that the Witch Queen was immortal, drone surveillance footage has confirmed the death of the Strider Matriarch, who is responsible for the consumption and agonizing digestion of over ████ immortal human colonists. Three Moon's intelligence officials in the Prefecture have reported the Witch Queen's last words to be no-leg messaging, which literally translates to, I find food planet. It is believed that the Witch Queen's postmortem vector is identical to that of humans, with a possible spawn point in the ████ message from the Three Moon's initiative. Foundation, we have some bad news. At an undetermined time in the coming months, the entity you'd know is SCP-PC-007, a hostile, reality-warping 10 km tall and now immortal primate, is going to enter the orbital path of Mars, en route to Earth. There is a negligible chance of neutralization if she is attacked before then, which becomes a full zero if she gets any nearer to Earth. Multiversal iteration 2N. If the records of Foundation terminology from Earth 2M are at all analogous to yours, you have an XK on your hands, at best. Look, she is aware of the existence of SCP-3319, and it'll likely be the first thing she'll smash to pieces. There's no easy exit here. This is going to be a long and difficult battle, and the best potential outcomes that the Precogs and R&D can come up with involve the death of 87.5% of humanity. Many adjectives, doomed among them, come to mind, but the last thing you are in the coming months is alone. We fought five wars against her and her armies, a good two of which were successful. You'll be provided with as much help as we can provide. And frankly, this is the anguish we've seen Lord Jalicara in a millennium. His grudge against her predates multi-cell your life. Even if our army is 75% paperwork and end fighting, we at least know he has an idea of what he's doing. Even if she does cause your extinction, well, when you get to the Great Mead Hall of Sakalabai, drinks are on us. You are watched, you are protected, and when or lose, you are lugged. Three moons.