 The Kraft Foods Company presents the Great Gildersleeve. It's the Great Gildersleeve starring Harold Perry. Brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of Clark A. Margeron, and a complete line of famous quality food products. Why did you hear so early in the morning? It isn't particularly early for most people. Lila and I have a little business to discuss with you. Well, sit down then. Here, Lila, you take the sofa. Oh, thank you. Now, what's this all about? Well, I brought Lila here this morning, Clark Morton, to ask your help in hammering a little sense into her. Wow! You couldn't have made a worse beginning, Horace. What is it he wants you to be sensible about, Lila? Money. You know that money I got from that old stock of Beauregards? Doesn't amount to as much as I'd hoped it'd cost, but then I didn't think it would. Be that as it may, Lila. The sum is substantial enough to be invested, rather than frittered away on knick-knacks and finery. Finery? Clark Morton, I've hardly got a stitch of clothes I'm not ashamed to be seen in. Oh, now, Lila, I was just going to say, I think that's a very neat little outfit you're wearing there. Do you, uh, do you really like it? I really do. Cute blouse. You see the dinner dress I bought? It has bows all the... Yeah, I'd like to see that. I hesitate to interrupt this touching exchange, but I'm a busy man. I can only devote a certain amount of time to this discussion. Now, the fact is that if Lila will invest this windfall in annuities, it can be a great comfort to her later on. Well, how much will it bring in, Judge? Well, roughly around $17 a month. Isn't that simply ridiculous, Rock Morton? What on earth could I do with $17 a month? She can't live on that, Judge? Of course not, but added to her other income, it may someday prevent her becoming a burden on her family. I have no intention of becoming a burden on anyone, especially on my own family. They trouble with annuities, though, Judge, is that you have to wait so long for them. That all depends. I was figuring this one to start paying Lila at age 60. Now, that wouldn't be... Horace, I will ask you to remember that I am only 32. Oh, now, the deal. Old age is something we've got to face. Why not make up your mind to it? I'll face it when it arrives, but not before. I'm certainly not going to rush ahead of myself looking, Horace. That's reasonable, Horace. It's nothing of the kind. Just because old age seems disagreeable, you haven't got the courage to pace it. But I'm realistic. I'm facing it squarely. You're looking it right in the eye, brother. And it's looking right back at you. I'm only 55. Well, if a man of 55 doesn't start thinking about old age, it's because he's too old to think at all. Now, Lila and I are something else again. You're a couple of idiots if you ask me. Listen, judge, just because you're beginning to run down is no reason to expect everybody else to do the same. You want everybody else to act like a tired old goat just because you do. I beg your pardon? I think it'll do Lila good to get out and spend a little money. Buy a few things, then maybe invest the balance. Now, that sounds really sensible. If there's any left over. Well, when you decide to make your investments, Lila, you may consult Mr. Gilder's leave with respect there, too. I came to advise, and I've been insulted. Good day. Oh, no, Horace, don't get sore. I'm not sore, I'm merely disgusted. No, no, don't bother to show me out. Good day, Lila. You aren't mad, are you, Horace? Well, we needed a new door anyway. Lila, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. You're looking so darn cute, I'm going to insist on you coming to dinner this evening for having roast pork. Oh, Throckmont, you're a darling. Must I wear my new dinner dress with the bows all down the front? Absolutely. Have some, thank you. How about another piece of birdie's delicious lemon pie? Oh, I couldn't. It's awfully good, birdie. It turned out pretty good at that. I can go for another slice, huh? I bet you could. Marjorie? No thanks. You might just put it in the ice box, birdie. I may look in on it later. Yes, sir. Hey, Aunt, can I go to the movies with Marge and Ben? What? You may not, Leroy. I wouldn't have to sit with them. Why, it shouldn't be necessary to have this argument with you every time your sister goes to a movie. You know your bedtime. Gosh, even a kid can grow up, you know. I'm watching you carefully for signs of it. What picture are you going to, Marjorie? Dink Stevens. Have you seen it? No. Who's in it? I'd love it as kiss me hello, I think, but it doesn't matter. Haven't you seen Dink Stevens? I don't believe so. Have you, Throckmont? Never heard of him. What happened to Vanny or Bunny or whoever it was? I thought he was all the rage. You mean Van Johnson? Or do you mean Sonny Tufts? How should I know who I mean? Well, I used to like them. They're all right. But Dinky, he's like Bob Walker only. He has freckles and his nose is cuter. I like Greg Ripan. Sure he's all right. Has this new fellow got any particular talent, may I ask? Does he sing, dance, juggle? No, why should he? Everyone is simply crazy about him. Oh, but why? What can he do? What's his big secret? He wears his hat on the side of his head and chews grass. Doesn't sound so wonderful. You have to see him. Oh, there's Ben. I'll let him in, huh? Yeah, bring him into the dining room, my boy. Perhaps he'd like a cup of coffee. Okay. Coffee? Mark and I are going to catch the early show. Come on in, Ben. Oh, everybody in there? Good evening, Mr. Gilleslea. Hello, Miss Ransom. Hi, Mars. Good evening, Ben. Pull up a chair, why don't you? Well, I don't know. Mars and I were going to the movies. Going to see somebody named Dink Stevens, I understand. Choose his cud, Marjorie tells me. Huh? Leroy told Anki about that picture where Dink was chewing on a blade of grass all the time, remember? Oh, yeah. Didn't even take it out when he kissed her. He's quite a guy. I can't say I'd be particularly crazy about that. Oh, well, he's not... It's not the kind of a picture that would appeal to old folks. Old folks? Well, my mom didn't like it either. Hey, you better get your hat and coat, huh, Mars? Yes, I guess I'd better. Will you excuse us, Anki, Mrs. Ransom? Sit. Hey, wait a minute, Ben. I want to show you something before you go. We can, Leroy. We have to rush. Come on, Ben. Good night. Good night, Paul. Good night. Have a good time. We'll have a good time. All right. Don't worry about us. Hey, Leroy. Leroy, what's the matter? Nothing. Oh, that's good. I thought maybe... Leroy, what is it? Hooker was right about what? About me getting old. I am. I'm not thirty-two frock, Martin. I'm... Hmm. Well, whatever. Who said thirty-six was old? When you heard Ben just now, he thinks of us as old folks. Now, Leroy, Ben didn't mean to hurt your feelings. He just thought us. My gosh, thirty-six. I'm thirty-seven. Well, even thirty-seven. Look, I'm forty-two. But you know something? I always think of you as much younger than I am. I'm five years younger. I think of you as much younger than that. I think of you as being, well, too young for me. Ah, do you throck more? You bet. But sometimes when I take you out, I'm afraid people will say, look at that fellow robbing the cradle. That's really a fact, Leroy. Tell you what. If you're not ashamed to be seen in public with a fellow twice your age... Oh, silly. Why don't we run down to the majestic and see this picture with Dink Stevens, huh? Maybe we can figure out what causes the craze. Oh, I hope you won't. Sure. If the kids enjoy him, he must have something. If he's got anything, we can enjoy it, too. After all, there's a little bit of kid in everybody, isn't there? Let's go and see. The great guilty slave will be back in a few moments. Mr. Lang, there seems to be quite a difference in spreads for bread. Indeed there is, especially in flavor. I do my best to point that out every time I talk about parquet margarine. Well, until I changed to parquet margarine some time ago, I noticed that my family wasn't too enthusiastic about some of the spreads I'd been serving. But now your steady uses of parquet margarine, I take it. Yes, we are. I serve it at every meal. Because on hot toast for breakfast, or on bread and rolls for lunch and dinner, it always tastes just right. That's what millions of families have discovered. Parquet's unmatched flavors made it one of America's favorite spreads for bread. And it's surprising how economical parquet is. Yes, it's only about half the price of costly spreads. And along with parquet's fresh, satisfying flavor, you can always be sure of getting an abundant supply of nourishment. Parquet is one of the finest energy foods you can serve. And it's also fortified with important vitamin A. So if you haven't changed to parquet margarine yet, now is a good time to do it. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine, made by the Kraft Foods Company. Now let's get back to Gildersleeve and his old friend and neighbor, Leela Ransom, whose search for their youth has led them to the loges at the majestic theater. There they sit, surrounded by all the young things at Summerfield. Leela primly with her coat thrown over the back of her seat. Gildersleeve hunkered down with his coat piled on his lap and his head sagging on his chest. Ah, come on. On the screen, Dink Stevens, clad in bathing trunks, has just plopped down on the sand, nose to nose with Linda somebody. They look into each other's eyes. Skinny little guy's knee. Oh, I don't know. His ears stick out. It's a wonder she wouldn't wear some clothes. Oh, I don't know. This is the dullest picture I ever saw. But nothing happens. The great lover. So help me if he chases her. I'm walking right out of here. Look at that, Leela hugging and kissing. Leela, you enjoying this? Are you? I asked you first. You suppose it would be terrible if we laughed. Oh, shush yourself. Come on, Leela. I don't enjoy movies much anymore, somehow. Well, anybody could enjoy that movie. You asked me, the whole picture was childish and idiotic. Well, people all around us seem to be enjoying it. Children and idiots. I'm afraid we're getting older, Strockmorton. That's all. Maybe the movies are just getting worse. You ever think of that, Leela? Come on, let's get a soda or something. I may even have a banana split. I think you've got customers here for a couple of banana splits. Set them up. Mr. Goosey, didn't you hear about bananas? What about them? There aren't any. Now that you mention it, I'm out of nuts, too. What have you got? Well, that's a question. I have to plain vanilla ice cream. Is that all you got? I guess that's about the distance. Leela, what do you have? I don't believe what I'd like is hot chocolate. That is if you... No, hot chocolate I've got. I keep it ready on the burner here at all times. It's a good cold weather drink. I even like to take a little nip on the end of myself. That's the trend nobody's looking. Mr. Goosey, how about you? Oh, give me the same. I had my heart set on a banana split, though. You would sleep better on a hot chocolate. It seems to be quite a seasonal item, hot chocolate. Now, in winter, for instance, I sell quite a bit of it. In the spring, I don't sell too much. And in summer, I sell even less. I'll go farther than that. I'll say I don't sell any. Yes, yes. Then in the fall again, the sales begin to pick up a little. And in the winter... You sell more. That's right. There you are. Oh, thank you. Yeah, thanks. Careful, it's hot. You folks been to the movies, have you? We just come from my... Kiss me, hello. Mrs. Peavey and I saw it Sunday night. Good picture. We thought it was a terrible picture. Well, it wasn't so much when you come right down to it. It wasn't so much. It was no good at all. You're right. It was no good at all. And why do you tell us it was good? Well, every man's entitled to his opinion. All right. It wasn't my opinion, but I thought it might be yours. I don't pretend to know anything about pictures anyway. Mrs. Peavey and I very seldom go. What do you do, you and Mrs. Peavey? Do? Yes, tell us something, Peavey. You're getting pretty well along in years. Tell us, what's it like? What's what like? To be, well, you know, to be getting along. To be... To be old? Yes. It's a darn nuisance. But there's one thing about it. Oh, what's that? It could be worse. Oh, how do you mean? Well, if I weren't married, happily married, that is. Well, if you've got someone to go old with it, it isn't so bad. Maybe you'll rise. Uh, say, Peavey. Yeah. I forgot what I was going to ask you. Go ahead, go ahead. I remember as a young fellow, I used to dread growing old when I thought about it at all. But now that I'm there, well, it's kind of pleasant. Mrs. Peavey and I, we have our evenings at home together. That's when I'm not down here to shop. Sometimes we play Chinese checkers, or we may read aloud to each other from some book. Uh, you know, people ought to do more of that kind of thing. That's right. After all, what does a man want to go around? Mays raising Ned forever? Peavey by George, you're the only man in this whole town who knows what it's all about. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Come along, Leela, getting on towards bedtime. Good night, Peavey. Good night. Good night, Mrs. Ransom. Good night, Mr. Peavey. I haven't changed my whole life. Well, did I do that? I want you to pick up this junk and get it out of here. Mrs. Ransom. Again? She was over last night. I know that. Doorbell, birdie. Hello, Leela. Let me take your things. I'll take them. Here, you sit here. Make yourself comfortable. I'll sit over by the fire. Now, Leeroy, I'm afraid it's your bedtime, my boy. Oh, yes. Rock, Morton, do let him stay down a while. But, Leela, I thought we were going to, you know, spend the family evening, read aloud to each other. Well, why not read something Leeroy would enjoy, too? Yeah. Well, that's an idea. It would make it more of a family evening, having children around. Well, what'll we read? I've got a super comic book, Murder Comics. I just started it. There'll be none of that. What about one of those nice books you got for Christmas? They were fairly grown up, some of them. Which one? Any one. What was the book your aunt had he sent you? Pick week papers. Pick week papers. My boy, that's a classic. Yeah? Dickens. Dickens' famous and beloved story. By Pickwick Papers is one of the funniest books ever written. I've always been intending to read Pickwick Papers. Ideal book to read aloud. Where's the book, Leeroy? I don't know. It was around here somewhere. Only four weeks since Christmas, and you've lost it already? Bet you haven't even written a thank your aunt for it. Leeroy, if you don't invert... I love it. Oh, yes. Well, handsomely bound volume with illustration. Look here, Sam Weller. Who's he? One of the characters. Great character. On a Dickens greatest creations. What did he do? Well, you'll find out as we get into the story. You see, Leeroy, go ahead, Throckmall. Let's see now. Where does it begin? Here we are, chapter one. The Pickwickians. You comfortable? You bet. Leela? I'll just curl up here like a kitten. This is such fun. Go ahead. All right. By George, I'm glad I thought of this. The first ray of light which elumes the gloom and converts into a dazzling brilliancy, that obscurity in which the earlier history of the public career of the immortal Pickwick would appear to be involved, is derived from the perusal of the following entry in the transactions of the Pickwick Club, which the editors of these papers feel the highest pleasure in laying before his readers as a proof of the careful attention, indepathicable aciduity, and nice discrimination with which his search among the multifarious documents confided to him has been conducted. Yeah, but it's classic, all right. By Leeroy, I've only read one sentence. Yeah, that was a pimp. Funny. It is funny. You should listen to Abbott and Costello a few times. They're really funny. Who's on second base? No, no, who's on first? Leeroy, go to bed. Now, let me catch you listening to that radio again. You read every word of this book. Myself? Do yourself. Now, go to bed and go to sleep. Say good night to Mrs. Ransom. Good night, Leeroy. Good night, Mrs. Ransom. I'll be seeing you. I'm sorry you can't stay down and enjoy the book with us, but... Well, you know how it is. You have to get started early in the morning. School and everything. So, better say good night. Good night. Night on. Good night, Leeroy. Darn kid radio, comic books, Abbott and Costello. What kind of a world do they live in? Well, start over here again. The first ray of light which elumes the gloom and converts into a dazzling brilliancy that obscurity and width... Throckmorton. Yes, Leeroy? Let's not read any more tonight, Throckmorton. Your eyes must be tired. Let's just sit here and talk, shall we? Well, sure. If you'd rather. What will we talk about? Let's talk about life. Okay. You know, I've been thinking ever since we had that talk with Mr. Peavey last night. I've been thinking a lot. I've decided there are certain things in life you just have to face. And once you face them, you feel a lot better. I've felt better all day. What kind of things, Leeroy? You mean growing old? Well, not just that. But, well, every girl believes that someday a prince charming will come into her life. A perfect knight who will sweep off her feet and carry away with him to a life of eternal bliss. Yeah, well... But sooner or later, there comes a day when she has to face the fact that Prince Charmin isn't coming, ever. And that she'd do much better just to settle down with some nice person who's kind and thoughtful and sort of comfortable to have around. Someone like you, Throgmorton. I see. Well, you may be right. Of course you're right. We're not chickens anymore, either, on of us. Why don't we act our aims? That's right. Like Pee-Vee said, growing old isn't so bad if you have somebody to grow old with. Someone to spend your evening with. And we have a lot of things in common, Throgmorton. Our love of good books, for instance. Pick quick papers. That ought to hold us for a couple of years. And music, you sing, and I can play. Well, we could spend whole evenings at the piano. Play something now, Leeroy. What would you like me to play? I don't know. Something restful. But why? Oh, anything. Just let me sit here with the fire and close my eyes, and you play for me. I don't see much fun in that. I'll tell you. I'll play for you if you sing. Oh, but I'm tired, Leeroy. I've had a hard day at the office, and I'm not as young as I was once. Now it won't do you any harm to come over here and sing. It will do you good. All right. Well, what do you want me to sing? What? What would you like to sing? What do you want me to sing? We could spend a couple of years this way, too. Oh, come on. One of the important things in growing old gracefully is to learn to give in gracefully to the wishes of the other person. Now sing something pretty for Leeroy. Darling, I am growing old. Why not? It's a fact, isn't it? We agreed we were going to act our age. Well, let's face it. Come on. That's it. I'd forgotten that. We used to sing that when we were younger. Remember? Just a little longer. Just an hour that hold. As old as he feels with me, then right now I feel great. Leeroy. Here from the Great Gilded Sleeve again in just a moment. I'd like to suggest again that no matter what's spread for bread you've been serving in the past, one taste of parquet margarine should prove to your family why millions prefer it to any other brand. Parquet's fresh, delicate flavor makes breads of all kinds taste extra good. You'll discover there's a difference both in smooth spreading texture and in flavor. And that's because Kraft takes such special care in blending the fine, wholesome farm products that are used in producing parquet. So be sure to compare parquet's fresh, dairy-like flavor with any spread for bread you may have used in the past. See for yourself how delighted your family will be with this spread that tastes so good. Ask your dealer for delicious economical parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine, made by Kraft. I've had a lovely time. So have I Leeroy. Well, good night. Good night. Good night everybody. The Great Gilded Sleeve is played by Howe Perry. It is written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. This is John Lange speaking for the Kraft Foods Company and inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of The Great Gilded Sleeve. Looking for something special in mustard? Be sure to try Kraft's salad mustard. This tangy, golden salad mustard is prepared at Kraft's own special recipe. It's made of choice mustard seed, mild vinegar, and fragrant spices. Has just the right touch of flavor you need for pepping up cooked dishes, gravy, sandwich spreads, cheese fondues, Welsh rabbits, and fish. So for extra flavor in so many appetizing ways, buy Kraft's salad mustard and pick up a jar of Kraft horseradish mustard, too, on your next shopping trip. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.