 How do you honor your father and mother so as you know, you're not in the house anymore you are married here You have a family of your own Once you're grown have a family, but they're still trying to enforce their rules on you and your family Well, I'll just quick say there's leave and cleave. I mean really That's a leave and cleave. Yes exactly exactly where I was gonna go and look at us Next question. I mean Yeah, if you don't do that, there's always gonna be conflict and there's a difference between obedience and honor So, you know to leave and to cleave. That's that's the command of marriage, right? You you're under your mom and dad's authority when you live in their household, but when you leave you start a new family and You're still in a position all the days of your life to honor your mother and your father But sometimes we have a mistaken understanding of what honor is honor means to hold in high regard But it's different to honor your parents when you're under their authority than it is to when you've you know Like God commanded when you the two shall become one and shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave only do his wife and so you know Sometimes you have to honor from a distance if it could if the relationship is challenging for example I think one of the questions that we got in the first service had to do with grandparents or you know parents giving giving their adult children advice and even in our Relationship and how you do that and you have to be very careful about that But I think you can honor your mom and dad even if they're maybe overbearing They're trying to speak too much into your marriage or too much into your family you can honor them without necessarily agreeing with what they're saying and you can actually even honor them in a very direct way if it gets too much where you Draw lines and you say mom you know if it's like I wouldn't go to her parents as much as maybe she would talk to her parents Or I would talk to my parents and just say you know when you do this X and and you come into our household and you maybe you say something to my wife You need to know that that's not acceptable Or if you're going to come in and you're gonna criticize or you're gonna say things or like a Quick example was my dad my dad has since gone home to be with the Lord He got saved in a later years of his life But I remember one of the highlights of our kids was my dad would come For Christmas Eve every year and my dad was like a super generous guy He he would come with a black trash bag full of gifts for each of the kids So they obviously loved grandpa Mickey so grandpa Mickey would come Christmas Eve He'd come to church with us and then they would get to open his presence on Christmas Eve and But my dad was even though he got saved. He was a little crazy I mean he had been involved in some wild stuff as I shared a little bit last week But so he would sit there and I remember when like our kids were a little at Christmas Eve He'd be like yeah kids if you ever get a chance to go to like an Indian reservation and go in You know on a dream quest under a tent and smoke peyote and find your animal guide. You should do it And I'm like time out kids Don't do that go play in the other room, please and and then they talked about like my brother I have a half brother and he at that time was living with his girlfriend And so my dad says to my kids in one of these settings He's like well, they're kind of married in God's eyes, and I went time out kids Uncle Stevie is not married He's living together. That's not the same as marriage and in our and I had to like to say to my dad Dad you can't say that stuff to our kids you may feel like that and you and I can have those Conversations, but don't impose that on my kids. You have to honor honor is a two-way street So I'm gonna honor you as my father But you need to honor me as the head of my own household and honor my wife as the you know the head of Of our family and so if you can't honor that then there has to be boundaries that are put into place So that I think Jane's answer of leave and cleave has to be honored from both different directions And then I also think that you have to be so careful to not Because you want the leave and cleave, but then you can't play it both ways You know I mean like if I got mad at Lee like I couldn't run to my mom and be like oh my gosh She's such a jerk blah blah blah and then think that she's not going to have a negative Opinion of him or vice versa. So there has to be it really embolized. You can't play The the line with that. Yeah, it's a really good point because you'll get over Whatever you're upset with your spouse about long before your parents will or you know You'll move on and then they'll still have a negative effect. So that's a great point Would you adjust to that based on if your mother and father are believers or not like would it be the same Response no matter what or would you adjust it based if your parents are believers or not believers You have to filter everything through your face So when God gave the command to honor your father and your mother he didn't say as long as they're honorable Honor is a gift that you give it can't be demanded And you know just by virtue of the fact that there are parents But you have to process it in your heart in your mind and know how you're honoring them And you have to be on your guard a little bit You know, especially around your kids because of your values or one thing and your kids are different or you know How they run their household is maybe different from yours when you step into their household And you go back under their roof then you realize they're gonna do things their way And you want to respect that now it doesn't mean that you necessarily want to stay there You know in some crazy situations It might not be a safe environment to be in and you can still be honorable and still have boundaries depending on how Healthy the relationship is