 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the original stories by Rose Franken brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a coke and now Claudia Got an idea yet about a present for mama I'm thinking about it thinking what good is You intend to wrap up your thoughts in a big red ribbon with a sprig of mistletoe beside them impractical We'd have to get too big a box for my thoughts seated But I forgive you because you're very sweet to come all the way downtown with me. Do you like shopping for Christmas? I can't think of anything. I like less And I don't think you ought to run around alone in these malls. Why not? I feel wonderful Nobody know from looking at me. I'm going to have a baby. Do you think we're early enough to escape the crowd? I doubt it I doubt it. I doubt it. Do you doubt everything? I doubt it Traffic problem seems to get worse every day. Oh, you're horn at him. That would be a great help. He's in back up Oh, then he sees you. So it's all right. What's all right? It's the trucks that don't see you that matter Tell him a thing it to Hey Hey, you a little less on that horn a little more on the break these streets are for private cars, too You were wonderful You sounded just like a taxi driver. Well, I don't show him he thinks he What did you say I sounded like a taxi driver? They are by far the most interesting people in New York the last one out lady. You want to get killed? Women always cross from the lights against women are emancipated women are irresponsible when I'm in a car I hate pedestrians and when I'm a pedestrian. I hate cars As a matter of fact darling, it's a philosophy of life So many people are they all shopping? I hate to think Are we lucky? Look David look there's a space right in front of the store There's a policeman in that space right in front of the store, too Look darling, I'll drop you off and park the car and meet you just inside the front door I'll come with you You'll do nothing of the sort Here you get off here. Honestly, I don't see why I can't look I'm the driver of this car the captain of this ship. You take orders from me. See oh All right driver. How much is it there? It's on the house lady. Oh, I know you're kind I suppose you want a great big fat tip. I do Thought so really driver. I thought you were a gentleman that man bothering you miss well He was just I know guys like him. Come on move on there, mister Don't let me catch a bar than this young lady again, but office you heard me get Won't give you summons this time, but I've ever catch again. You heard but officer. Oh, I'd beat it You're holding up traffic. Well, and remember if I ever see you again Well, you got rid of him these seventh Avenue cowboys All right now miss. Oh officer. It was very kind of you Nothing to it glad to help and remember any time you get into trouble young lady call on the law I will stand away from that revolving door. You want to get killed you park the car. All right, David. Fine No, thanks to you ma'am. I didn't say anything to that police. I know I know he just jumped to conclusions made it feel important Besides, it was all your fault. You had to go I was pretty good. You were wonderful Well, here we are the whole story Oh, I beg your pardon and something tells me I've bitten off more than I can chew. Oh Excuse me Have you got any ideas not a one of you? Nope. Don't worry. I never have any ideas until I get right up against the counter You may never get that close. So let's try to decide right here before we get there David It's impossible. How do you know what this door is selling today? I've got a general idea darling If there's anything I hate more than shopping it's getting into a store and not knowing what I want Oh such a dull way of doing it much more exciting to be surprised That's all a matter of opinion Female opinion shopping's no fun when you just go in and buy something and walk out. Oh, it's too simple that way Gone through this entire store from top to bottom it's almost noon and we haven't bought a thing haven't you enjoyed it I have had a terrible time. You have I didn't know I was practically arrested My feet have been cramped on my tires all but been torn off of my neck I've almost lost my hat twice and I'm sure my pockets have been picked And I haven't seen another man in this whole madhouse of a store. When do men do their shopping David? Obviously not two days before Christmas man wait until the last day. I'm not this man. Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine, and I'm having a wonderful time. That's fine But what are we going to get mother? You said she wouldn't want something to wear. Nope. I don't think so You said she wouldn't want something for the house Nope, I don't think so. You said she wouldn't want a piece of jewelry Nope, I don't think so. Can't you say anything but nope? I don't think so. Nope. I don't think so You just stand still and imagine your mama. Mm-hmm. I'm mama now mama What would you like for Christmas? Nothing that makes everything very simple. Let's not give her anything except our love She has that already and I insist on a real present now that I'm in the family now that Claudia think Think hard. What do other people give their mothers? I wouldn't know I never had any other Sometimes I think you didn't have any if you sprang full grown from an acorn. Do I look like an oak tree? There's a faint resemblance now. Come on darling make up your mind. We're back on the first floor We started on the ninth. Where do we go from here? Look Claudia, we've worked our way back to the second floor for the second time. You sure she wouldn't want to bedjack it positive She doesn't need a bedjacket mama either sleeps or gets up sensible What about a fur coat? What would she want a fur coat for? She's got one and it looks lovely on me Doesn't everyone around you look whoops Everyone looks tired and irritated you can be happy when you're tired Darling you're having a miserable time. Aren't you? Oh, of course not. I love it. I'm having a wonderful time Look dear. I told you the only way to shop is to know beforehand What you're going to get David. Don't blame me. Let's try again. What? We'll go back up to the ninth floor. Oh, no Oh, no No, I don't want to hear another word. Come on. We're we're getting out of here Claudia come back here I'll meet you in the lost and found department. Did you hear me? This the lost and found department. Yes, it is. Have you lost anything? Yes, my wife your wife I Hope she'll have the sense to come here in case she finds herself I see. I don't think I've seen a lost wife around No, not today. It's still early though. However, we do have many umbrellas and gloves in one little ball. Not interested Thank you. Are you sure you haven't seen her? Tell me what is your wife like? Well, she's about so high About up to my chin. Oh just perfect and Yeah, well, she's wearing a coat with no hat. No hat. Did you say no hat? Yes. Have you seen her? Oh, no, just you say no hat Well, I like her without a hat each to his own Say do some people really come to this store to shop or do they just look around and get in each other's way? Well, personally, I don't do any of my shopping here. You don't know never they always seem to be out of what I want I see I shop at mingles across the street such a nice store. You don't see. Oh, yes I do. It's it's much smaller store. Do you know 30,000 women come into this store every day Yes, I know I met 29,000 of them this morning and on Saturdays and in holiday seasons 40,000 and the average purchase is four dollars and sixty seven cents. You don't say I do It's a fact four dollars and sixty seven cents. Oh, yes, your wife I'm sure I haven't seen her except of course with so many other women around how can I be sure it would be asking too much Honestly when I get home at night, I don't care if I never get to see another woman again Well, and if you're sure oh, yes, yes, I'm sure I tag everything that comes into this department No, I'd have tagged your wife the stub would be writing this box here. One must have a system mustn't one. Yes mustn't one Now let us think where would she be if I had any idea? I would you will read no Underwear no a writing paper. No, definitely. No, no shoes Potted plants lots of women rest up in potted plants. Well, not my wife Well, this is difficult if you don't mind. I think I'll just run along. No, no, no I wouldn't do that if I were you that's the surest way of never finding each other I'd stay right here like a saint Bernard and watch and I'll stay right here and help well That's very kind of you really but no no not at all not at all. It's the service We pride ourselves on the service and please don't be impatient or worried these things happen in the best of families Why just the other day a woman came up here feeling just the way you do she'd lost your baby lamb her what? Baby lamb she described it to me. It was short with squared shoulders and a flared back foreign lamb import very expensive I should think it would be oh indeed. It was for a coach He would be ref just like you but I rallied my forces and presto Thank heavens David here. You are you got lost. I got lost you must have I couldn't find you anywhere You were brilliant to come here. Thank you very much for finding him not at all madam It's part of the service. I was just telling you yes, thank you. Thank you Come on, baby lamb. Let's get out of here. David you angry at me. Oh, no I was never so happy to see you in my life lamb really and why do you keep calling me lamb because Claudia, please let's get out of here before anything else happens I want to get my nice safe car and out of this lunatic asylum Hello again, you know the way to Christmas shopping done. Oh Officer hello. No, we didn't get a thing, but I had a wonderful time looking. Oh dear you women why you like shopping I'll never know I hate it can't stand it you too all men do it's the way we're built I guess shopping is women's work. There's nothing as exciting as Christmas in New York all the trees and lights and the little children So excited and look Santa Claus on the corner. I'm gonna give him something. I'll be right back Hey, you you can't pull up here. I don't want to park. I'm just stopping by. Hey Aren't you the guy was bothering that day young lady this morning? I wasn't bothering her I was not much you weren't now come on. Step on the gas and scram. I look officer I've had a terrible no back talk. Well, you just ask her. I ain't asking anyone anything I'm just telling you to get out of here and fast to stop bothering young ladies or I'll pull you in You don't show off this minute. I'll go on go on beat it You tell me to beat it just once more and I'll report you so back to her Well, that does it friend. You just talked yourself into something. Let's see a license Look, if you don't tell that night in armor that day, but don't get excited. Hey, what's going on here lady? You know this guy certainly I know and I don't like you talking to him like that I know him very well. You see, I'm slightly married to him This broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney Your holiday marketing needn't be such a chore if you follow the example of the men folks Stop now and then at the familiar red cooler for a bottle of ice cold coca-cola Then you can shop refreshed just as they work refreshed It's wonderful. What a difference that short pause makes in the day's occupation Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joking saying or if war and remember Whoever you are whatever you do Wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola for ice cold coca-cola makes any pause The pause that represses