 Welcome back and we have been joined by our expact of the day. We know just to hear a professional perspective of raising kids and discovering their talent and most importantly, nurturing it. Karibusana, please introduce yourself. My name is Albert Mwangi. I'm a Cassian psychologist from Vika. And currently I'm a touch at Kachajiru Mission Hospital. Okay. Alright. Karibusana. Inu leo tu mekwana kamgeni kadogo na babayake. I'm sure you've heard about his talent. And again, in your line of work, we know it's not just about mental health matters, but it's the family unit because that's where it all begins. Once you receive somebody, no matter what they're going through, you have to check their background. And their background is the family, their childhood probably, and all that. So according to you, is there a right way to raise a child, especially for fathers? Because you know fathers are the pillar of the family, they are the safe space, they are the ones that kids try to please, especially boys at a certain age. Is there a way that fathers should conduct themselves to, you know, have such amazing talent? You know, because I'm sorry, again, I'll keep going back and back so that we can drive the point home. Like Roger said, he was brought up by a dad who provided everything, but he was never there. He was not present. Could you just package for us what is the ideal way for father to be here? Thank you very much. Yes. In the first place, I want to say that layering a child is not a simple task. Yes. You must be there. Yes. And the other thing is, you can delegate everything, but you cannot delegate child bearing. Yes. The reason is, the attachment you have with your child right away from the time of birth, till the time that child becomes an adult, depends on how you are going to attach with that child. Very true. The first friend of a child is the parent. And I want to put this category on behalf of the fathers. You know, the most strong attachment between the child and the parent is between the child and the mother. Very true. The reason is, the child is being carried by the mother for nine months. Yes. That's the first attachment. Yes. The second attachment, the child is being haddured by the mother all the time when circling, looking at the face of the mother and leading the environment. Yes. The child learns the environment from the face of the mother. The mother. If the father is so harsh to the mother, the child will learn the harshness of the father through the face of the mother. Yes. Because the reaction of the mother is very important to the child. Yes. So when I talk to the father, I would like to tell the father that they must be present when bringing out the child. This is because the father is always a neighbor to the child. Because the mother is the one who introduces the child to the father. True. Tells you, this is your father. Then, for you, father, to accept the introduction, you have to accept the child the way the child is and send a good example to that child so that he will learn and have confidence with you. Wow. Because most of the children, they don't have confidence with their fathers. Sure. The reason is, the fathers are the CEO in the house. Of the house. And you know, in every company, we don't have good relationship with our CEOs. Very true. We don't have. Yes. Because these CEOs are laws implementers. They just come to tell you, do this, do that and do this. This is what happened even in our time when I was being brought up. Personal, I was brought up by a klage, a pastor. My father was a full ghost per pastor. Okay. And he brought up like that. And I am not of different with my friend who said that the father was there, but he was not there. Yes. Most of the children are in their families, but they are sad as if they are orphans. Why? Because they do not have their fathers. If a father is a teacher, comes in the house with a teacher figure, but not as a father figure. Yes. So the child becomes confused. He just wants someone to mentor him, but he likes someone to mentor him. Yes. I am happy because of my friend here. Because he have told us that he engaged the wife and the child to support one another, to produce a song. And we have seen how the child can sing, imitating the father. Yes. This is a very good example of fathers outside there. Yes. They should imitate this kind of a father. Yes. Whereby let your child learn what you are doing. Through your actions. Yes. I want to say this that most of the people think that they use their ears. Children use their ears, but no. Definitely no. Children do not use their ears. They use their eyes. Yes. And that's why a teacher of ACD uses pictures more than shouting and talking. Very true. Yes. Everybody. Even those people in the media like you people. If I bring my advert, which is audio, and the other one is visual, visual is going to be expensive than audio. Yes. Why? Even our brain, the part of the brain that concentrates on eyes is very powerful. Yes. And the one that concentrates on it? Yes. Yes. So if you are doing things in your house, know that your child will never listen to your words. Yes. But you listen to your, you just see what you are doing. And this is what is happening with the boy child. Boy child is having an absentee variety. So most of the time they are seeing ladies. We can visit a certain primary school and out of the 34 teachers, only two are male. Two. Two. At home the child is seeing the mother. Yes. At school the child is seeing who. One. Yes. Just seeing the ladies. Yes. So this child is going to be meted by ladies. Yes. And most of the behavior of this boy child is now becoming not even having that masturine being strong as a man but being weak as a lady. In other words, I am not saying that the ladies are not weak but in that area whereby a boy does not engage himself in outdoor activities. You know when we were young boys, we had a lot of outdoor activities. Our fathers could not buy us footibles. The ball. We used to make them. But nowadays they cannot. Why? Because they do not have those people, the fathers who are crafts. Very true. Creative. Yes. Because they are not there. Yes. They are not there. It is only their mother who give them those soothe activities. Soothe activities. But the vigorous activities that strength the muscles. You know this man that was called Charles Darwin, talked about evolution theory. Yes. It is very important that the more you use your muscles, the more it becomes. It becomes stronger. And that's why men are muscular than ladies because they carry. And that's why he said that men are there to carry, if to go to hunt, carry a big animal and bring it to the wife. The work of the wife is just to cut pieces. So the muscles are not strong. But the muscles of a man is very strong. That's why father is very important to a boy child to make those muscles strong for him to take care of the family. Yes. If boy child does not come up with a lot of strength, then maintaining a family may be a problem. If you go outside there and look at boy child, even getting married is a problem. Why? What do they do after not getting enough mentorship and empowerment, they find themselves inferior and to make them strong they engage in drugs. That's why we are seeing a lot of boys, young men in drugs. Why? Because the problem began at the age of zero going up to age of seven. That's where the character of a child grows. And when you see a child having drugs or what, we have said that that is the root. That's a fruit of a certain tree that has already grown. So just look where the tree started. And this is why I'm saying that when a father does not provide the correct mentorship to the boy. Yes. Then the boy goes astray. Right. Anything that is not directed moves towards the wrong direction. Right. So it is the obligation of every father in the society to make sure that he is present for his children and not only the boy child, even the girl child. Yes. Because most of the girls like being married to the husbands who behave like their father. True. And every boy likes to marry somebody who behaves like their mother. So it is your duty as a mother and as a father to make sure that you send a very noble character that will sustain your child in the future. Because the way that child will develop like from your hands to the time that is going to be handled by the community depends on your character. Absolutely. Because the attachment that this child is going to have will depend on the attachment that he got from the parent. If you go to school and see these boys and girls who are Bure. It is because they came from a family that this has a lot of violence. Yes, yes, yes. A violent father or a violence mother. Mother. They meant a violence. A violence child grows up being violent holding a lot of anger in her mind and in her heart which he has nowhere to empty. And he goes to empty in the community. I agree. And again, wow, this actually went so good because we have correlated a child's upbringing and their father's presence and how they act out in the society. And in this case we are seeing a very present dad who has observed and saw that the child has talent. And not just that is the child observing and seeing what the father is doing because we forget that children, they don't hear, they watch and they emulate. And I think I would like to just applaud, you know, Rogers and his beautiful son over here. So just to wrap this up, what can you tell parents at home who have seen their kids have talent or their kids doing certain things and maybe they are thinking this is not what the child should be doing instead of nurturing maybe they try to redirect them elsewhere. What would you tell them? I just want to give an example of myself. When I was growing up, I was autocative. And my mother used to, even to irony me, even my brothers and my sisters telling me you keep on talking, talking, talking, talking and they were not happy with me. My mother told me you are going to put a hot panga in my mouth to keep quiet. But it never worked because... It's who you are. Yes. And this is what we do to our children. If at all you are a mason and you see your child holding a hammer you take that hammer from him immediately so that he cannot hit himself and you are afraid that he is going to be injured himself. But when a child is at the age of 6 to 7, that is industrial stage if you don't nurture that child he is going to have out of guilt in him because he cannot touch such a thing, he cannot touch anything because whatever is going to touch is going to destroy. And this is how we destroy the parents of our children because it grows right away from... Yes, yes, infancy. Infancy. And that's why the government has come with this, they are calling what? Karikara... CBC. CBC. Yes, yes. A Kariklam-based program or education. Yes. The child learns what he wants. Very true. Because most of the children even nowadays they are not in the career that they love. It's true. They have done the wrong career. Yes. They got the wrong job. Yes. They end up getting even the wrong wife. And they live the wrong life. Yes. Just because of it. So parents. Yes. Parents, I want to ask you sincerely. Just look at your child. See what your child can do. Even if you see doing it longer, guide him or her. Yes. And that child is going to be a good person. Be a good role model for the child. Yes. Let the child learn from. He can even learn from other children at school. Then you see him implementing something. Help that child implement that thing. Wonderful. I want people to learn from Amigo. Yes. So Amigo teaches the children how to hunt and how to do everything. Yes. He can fly with the kids. Yes. Then he drops the kids. So it's not a myth. No. After the kids are grown up it destroys the nest. Oh wow. Destroy the nest completely. Yes. And they fall down. Yes. And there is no time that they come and come together. Yes. And there is no single ego that can meet unless the male one has a nest. Ah. Because he just learned how to make it. Just learn how to make it. Learning to learn from the nature. Yes. And you are going to be wise. Yes. This is what our state parlor is. Learn from nature how the animals behave with their kids. And you are going to be wise. Even the birds. Learn from them. You are going to be wise. Yes. When a child is growing, nature not only the material beings. Yes. The inner value of a child. Of a child. Very important. Yes. Thank you. Wow. One last minute. What would you like to tell parents out there? I would like to speak to probably the fathers. Kindly be responsible for your kids. Be responsible for your kids. Have time for them. I know it's not easy. I know it's tough. By the way, us men taking responsibility is always not easy. Yes. That's another thing. You can tell a lady, yes, I love you. But when this lady tells you now, we are going to be parents. Yes. It's not easy. It's a different story. So take courage. Yes. And focus. And study each and every step as this child grows. Wonderful. And God bless you. Wonderful. And last but not least. Highly. What would you like to tell kids out there who feel like they have talent, they know how to sing, they know how to dance. What can you tell them? I can tell them. You can say hi. Yes. Please say hi. I want to say hi to mum. Oh, you want to say hi to mum. Come here. We'll say hi to mum. Okay. So, yeah. Oh, okay. May I have that? Yeah. So say hi to mum at home. Look at that camera. That one. Hi. Hi mum. I am good. Say hi. Oh. And Prospa? Hi Prospa. Well done. And thank you for being such a nice guest. Would you like to tell people, see you next time? See you next time. Oh, yes. See you next time. And do not hold back in, you know, taking your child the other direction or leaving your dreams through them. Once again, Tomoka Coffee House in Westlands. Center, Anano Center rather in Westlands. Thank you very much for having us tonight. And again, we look forward to being here one more time. Thank you. Have a good night. We thank the people. We thank money. Bye. Bye.