 All right, here we go. Jane P writes, question, why do guys tell you they love you very soon when they don't really know you? Only a few weeks of dating. All right, I've got a confession to share because I have done this. So if you're not familiar with, well, first off, there's two things going on when a guy comes on strong, love bombs you, all that kind of stuff. It's not necessarily narcissism. Everything is narcissistic today. It's not narcissism. I know you didn't bring that up. I'm bringing it up. OK, so when a guy likes you, it could either be lust or limerence. Limerence, I invite you to Google it. But limerence means extreme infatuation. I even shared recently how I had this extreme infatuation for a woman I just met. I was so smitten by her. And it was really chemicals being released in my brain to my body that made me think this was love. And this is what chemistry is all about. Chemistry drives us to another human being. And sometimes it's beyond our control. It's like crack cocaine. It's like heroin. So it's not necessarily a cognitive thing. It's an unconscious thing happens when we think we like someone a lot. Like when we think, I got something in my tooth, when we think we're with the one. So it's not uncommon for men to do what's, again, it's called love bombing. But another thing it's called what I, Alison Armstrong calls it cut and paste, cut and paste. And what that means is we men will cut and paste you into our lives to see what that looks like. I call it trying on for size, trying it on for size. This is like when you go to the shoe store and try on different shoes. You're trying it on for size. And that's what men do when we're boasting about real sincere care. Because it takes us kind of be amped up to let go of our need for freedom. I'm gonna repeat, it takes us being amped up to let go of our need for freedom to actually want to commit with someone. Now the scary part is when those chemicals release and they're gone, is there real love? This is why folks, I'm here to encourage, listen, social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends as part of the dating process, instead of the rhetoric of just going out to dinners all the time and having surface conversations. How's your day? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. Did you have a blessed day? Most folks have surface conversations. I'm here to invite you to go to deeper conversations and recognizing that most of the time you're meeting a total stranger, which is why I recommend reading this book, talking to strangers, what you should know about people you don't know. And in addition, I highly recommend reading the book, Emotional Intimacy, Emotional Intimacy, because this will help prepare you to ask better questions to get at a deeper intimate level with someone because ultimately real love happens through thick and thin, but it happens through intimacy. Into me you see. This is why I'm so tired of the current dating rhetoric and especially those entitled women who expect to be romance or to be swept off their feet and the guy paying for the valet. And folks, yes, that is a big complaint I have. It's an argument I had with some other dating coach about this. And it's, listen, I have a beep around it, but because it doesn't prove anything. Paying for dates, paying for valet doesn't prove shit. What proves shit? Actions matching words. Having victor consciousness, not victim consciousness. Knowing how to fight fair, which means active listening when there's a disagreement and validating the other person's point of view and empathy. And empathy isn't just I can feel your feelings. Empathy is I care about your feelings, but more importantly, I care about my own feelings and lastly, transparency. If it's material to the relationship, speak up about it. Most folks don't do that. They have very surface relationship. This is why I share with everybody one of my favorite memes. Oops, I'm gonna pull it up right here. I'll put it up on the screen. I hate small talk. I wanna talk about Adam's death, alien sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you've told, your flaws, your favorite sense, your childhood. What keeps you up at night? Your insecurity and fears. I like people with depth who speak with emotion from a twisted mind. I don't wanna know what's up. Folks, I'm here to encourage deeper intimacy, deeper connection. And it starts by reading these books. By the way, there's two other books I highly recommend. How to build trust in a relationship by Claire Robin and Couples Communication by Olivia. Listen, I don't know how to pronounce her name. Couples Communication. Check these books out on Amazon. It's time. Listen, ladies, guys don't know this shit. They're winging it. They're winging it. They're winging it. Most men are clueless. This is why I encourage you to lead by example, by expressing yourself and not leaving it up to the guy. But Jonathan, all the other dating coaches tell me I'm in my masculine if I lead the relationship. You're not leading the relationship. You're just leading by example. There's a big difference because leaning back in your feminine energy will only temporarily claim the anxious guy who just wants to fuck you. But then once you're together, he'll most likely run away. So just like in this conversation here. So again, why do men do that? It's a natural thing to do. And what's most important is have deeper conversations when it does happen. And that's my invitation for you, Jane. Thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. All right, we're gonna take one more question before we wrap up today. By the way, you can purchase a super stick or super chat. All right. All right, Twitch says, question. If someone says to me, what's your biggest fear? I wouldn't go deep. Other questions maybe, but I should. But should that question be a warning sign? Oh, I love this question. Okay, so you might say to someone, if someone asked you, what's your biggest fear? You could say, you know what? Being abandoned in a relationship. That's a fear I have. To be rejected is a fear I have. Folks, if being honest, let me reframe that. If being vulnerable, authentic and transparent, I'm using those fears. Is a turnoff to a person? Then this person doesn't have depth. By the way, when two people with depth get together, you could say almost anything and it will not harm the relationship. But as I said, continually throughout this broadcast, most people are on the surface. I'm here to suggest go below the surface. So if someone asks you that and that's a turnoff, then I invite you to answer to me, what's your fear in sharing that? If you're afraid they're gonna use it against you, I'm not here to suggest divulge a secret. Don't divulge any secrets, but I'm a human, I'm a red-blooded human being. I'm gonna tell you my fear is being rejected. My fear is to be abandoned. I think part of that probably happened when Connor passed away, because it feels like an abandonment. I have no problem sharing that with someone. And if that turns them off, they're not the right woman for me. If a woman can't handle vulnerability, authenticity, and transparency, then she's not the woman for me. And I'm inviting you to do the same. Look at, you can follow the book, The Rules. The book, The Rules is game-playing way of connecting with people. You are more than welcome to follow the book, The Rules. That will temporarily land you the inappropriate guy in your life, and then you're gonna spend two to five years in miserableness because you use the game-playing techniques to get someone. I'm here inviting everyone to do deeper work, and I'm inviting everyone to pull out this fucking book and read it together, read it together, because this book, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman, is the roadmap to a relationship. And if you're gonna have sex together, then you have every right to say, then what's our game plan here? And I invite you to read this book. That's my invitation for everyone. All right. By the way, can I get an amen? Does this resonate with you? Please let me know. Hit that like button. Legally Blonde says, I love this guy. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. All right, let's scroll here.